self discipline

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Trish1c
Trish1c Posts: 549 Member
in Motivation and Support
I have always had things relatively easy & as a result never had much self discipline in anything.

I did MFP last year hoping to drop about 23-25 pounds for my big birthday. I only managed 19 & then felt demoralized.

I need to revamp many parts of my life. This will be the easiest to track.

In general though how do you develop self discipline about everything: losing weight, cleaning the house, saving for retirement, etc.

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  • Bubbaistrying
    Bubbaistrying Posts: 454 Member
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    You have to want what you are working for.
  • Trish1c
    Trish1c Posts: 549 Member
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    I need more than desire I need action steps
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    You don't clean your house?
  • KeepRunningFatboy
    KeepRunningFatboy Posts: 3,055 Member
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    Good question. I'm on a never-ending search for the same.

    I've read a few books which have seemed to help me understand self-discipline, self-control, will-power, determination, etc. One is the Chimp Paradox by Dr Steve Peters which helps to understand simplistically how the mind works. I also recommend 2 books called Willpower Rediscover the Greatest Human Strength by Roy F. Baumeister and The Willpower Instinct by Kelly McGonigal Ph.D.

    I also recommend looking at habits, creating small achievable goals which you can build upon and also your self-talk. Shad Helmstetter has a book called What To Say When You Talk To Your Self which I found helpful.
  • feisty_bucket
    feisty_bucket Posts: 1,047 Member
    edited October 2017
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    Great suggestions, KeepRunningFatboy! I've read those two willpower books and the _What to Say..._ and they're all excellent.

    I wish people would talk about discipline here more than "motivation" so much.

    OP, this is really the zillion-dollar question.

    My own tiny contribution would be that it helps to do the biggest PITA stuff first, because willpower usually weakens as the day goes on. Also, you can pre-commit to do/not do things. Hard rules with no wiggling that you set when it's easy to do, means you've already answered the question "should I?" when it's difficult.

    Sam Carpenter has a couple of books out about Systems Thinking that were helpful to me. At least one of them is free on his website too. There's a good one called _Habit Stacking_ by Scott which is about designing daily routines.
    Developing a bunch of positive habits so you don't have to think about them any more is really the easiest way to get stuff done.

    As for cleaning the house: there's a website and book called "Unf*ck Your Habitat" which is serious magic. Check it out.

    Also, some bonus keywords to look up: Pomodoro Technique, Kanban boards.

    Good luck!

  • Sunnybrooke99
    Sunnybrooke99 Posts: 369 Member
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    For me, it’s mostly with logic. I convince myself that it is what will make me a happier, less stressed, person for the long run, rather short the tempting short term bandaids. If I have to, I educate myself, track my progress, etc. Just depends on the thing.
  • lili200
    lili200 Posts: 200 Member
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    you might like to review this
    stages of change
    http://www.cpe.vt.edu/gttc/presentations/8eStagesofChange.pdf
  • KeepRunningFatboy
    KeepRunningFatboy Posts: 3,055 Member
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    @feisty_bucket thank you also for extra reading suggestions!
  • scarlett_k
    scarlett_k Posts: 812 Member
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    Practise and persistence.
  • EllieElla2015
    EllieElla2015 Posts: 67 Member
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    To be honest, I personally didn’t develop discipline until I failed more times than I could tolerate. I’ve been gaining and losing the same 10 pounds for 4 years and got sick of the process. When I weighed myself and I found myself back up those SAME pounds for the 6th time, I legitimately just got fed up. So I’m way more disciplined this time around and not in a “short term excitement” way but in a “I know what to do and I’ve done it, I’m done not living life as the best version of myself”. I, like you, never had discipline in my life and generally didn’t have to try much for anything, so no words of wisdom was going to convince me of the importance of discipline. I thought I was the exception...until I wasn’t for the 6th time in just 4 years.

    As for retirement, that’s something you don’t really have the luxury to fail at before it’s too late...so maybe try the “Personal Finance” sub on Reddit?
  • SweatsOnSunday
    SweatsOnSunday Posts: 514 Member
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    All good suggestions. I need to re-commit, too. Going to spend today working on menus, etc, and then push forward and get started.
  • sksk1026
    sksk1026 Posts: 213 Member
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    I use an app called Habit Hub to track new behaviours until they become habits. And I don't try and improve everything at once!

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