Manager hints that I'm big
Options
Replies
-
WorkerDrone83 wrote: »Hmm. Yeah, you could be reading into things that aren't really there if you tend to get defensive about your weight. Congrats on losing 4-6kg and maintaining, btw.
My other thought was that maybe she's feeling threatened by you and that's why she's taking digs.
She didn't lose 4-6kg, she GAINED 4-6kg and is now at a BMI of 21... which probably means she used to be underweight... anyhow, I also wonder exactly what was said.3 -
jennifer_417 wrote: »I'm curious to know exactly what was said. It's hard to know how to respond without a bit more info, tbh.
Yeah, that's the thing... I honestly forgot what she said to be honest. I know I replied once that I'm very happy with my weight and would not want to lose anything. Thus while I forgot what exactly she said, the fact that she said it really annoys me and makes me very insecure.
She "hinted" and you don't remember what she said but you are feeling insecure about it? I think you need to get over it.16 -
-
jennifer_417 wrote: »I'm curious to know exactly what was said. It's hard to know how to respond without a bit more info, tbh.
Yeah, that's the thing... I honestly forgot what she said to be honest. I know I replied once that I'm very happy with my weight and would not want to lose anything. Thus while I forgot what exactly she said, the fact that she said it really annoys me and makes me very insecure.
She "hinted" and you don't remember what she said but you are feeling insecure about it? I think you need to get over it.
yes - this! I for one remember every word of every comment that anyone has said about my weight over the years! if it was really that bad you would remember what was said.3 -
You say back, "I'm happy with my weight, but please don't comment about it. It makes me feel self conscious. Thanks!"0
-
-
I would think if it was that upsetting to you, you would remember every single word she said. If you can't remember, then obviously it wasn't really a big enough deal to get upset about. I remember every time someone has called me fat or insinuated that I was fat. I could tell you verbatim things my mother has said to me on the subject since I was 12 years old.2
-
TavistockToad wrote: »
Admitting? When someone is making you feel bad, it is better to say, "I feel bad" than, "You're being a jerk." Once you've said to someone that they're making you feel bad, if they continue, they can't feign innocence.4 -
musicfan68 wrote: »I would think if it was that upsetting to you, you would remember every single word she said. If you can't remember, then obviously it wasn't really a big enough deal to get upset about. I remember every time someone has called me fat or insinuated that I was fat. I could tell you verbatim things my mother has said to me on the subject since I was 12 years old.
Well... I have a lot of things on my mind and I'm glad I don't forget the important stuff. I'm usually fairly chaotic, thus forgetting something just IS normal for me. I'm still confused about those comments even though I don't remember the exact wording.3 -
jseams1234 wrote: »WorkerDrone83 wrote: »Hmm. Yeah, you could be reading into things that aren't really there if you tend to get defensive about your weight. Congrats on losing 4-6kg and maintaining, btw.
My other thought was that maybe she's feeling threatened by you and that's why she's taking digs.
She didn't lose 4-6kg, she GAINED 4-6kg and is now at a BMI of 21... which probably means she used to be underweight... anyhow, I also wonder exactly what was said.
Not underweight, but I thought I looked too skinny, especially in my face.2 -
Unless this is a continuous thing (in which case you'd remember what was said) just let it go. Life is too d@mn short to let other people's offhand or flippant comments get under your skin.
At the end of the day it's more about what YOU think about you than anyone else's opinion. It took me 50+ years to figure that one out, so the sooner people get there the better life they will have.
3 -
Maybe you should hint that your manager is rude . . .
Usually when people belittle others, it's because they are insecure with themselves. I'd just respond to any comments with a direct "Thank you for your opinion."1 -
OMG I have some cracker responses that would her back in her place
But you come across as someone who doesn't want to offend and cares what other people think. Pretty much the exact opposite to me. 3 -
Report to HR. There needs to be a line otherwise things could get worse. Who knows if shes being mean to your other coworkers, or even meaner?1
-
I wonder if your sensitive and reading something into what she is saying. i just say this because you think you're chubby with a BMI of 21. Which is not chubby.
However, if she is 'hinting that you're overweight, ' you could come right out and ask her in a kind way ..then tell her to please stop. or you could joke with her.. 'hey you're my manager, not my mother.' haha.. and smile. That should shut her up.2 -
gabriellejayde wrote: »
Or actors, TV personalities, etc have appearance clause in their contract.0 -
Next time she does it, I would say "hey this is several times now, you've made comments on my weight. Is there any particular reason why?" But I would have a half smile on my face when you do it, this way it doesn't seem like you are attacking her or anything and more of a curiosity thing.
0 -
I was wondering what job you do that would even lead to weight comment from manager. Still unacceptable unless affecting your health/performance.0
-
Sometimes people say things and don't realize how it might come off to someone else. Maybe she didn't mean anything by it, or maybe she did. I'm a vote for be direct, which will usually work.
I can think of a time when I was talking to the security guard at my job (who I am work friends with) and he made some comment about my other job along the lines of "you're a bigger girl so you can handle the bad customers". I was offended so I told him straight out that it was rude and inappropriate to say that. He apologized about ten times as he didn't mean for it to be hurtful. Problem resolved.0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.7K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 393 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.3K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 934 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions