Help, I'm at the end of the road here.

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mo2go
mo2go Posts: 29 Member
in Introduce Yourself
There is no return from this. I am back and I need more friends and support. Just realised I am not doing this weight loss thing for myself as I would happily sit and watch TV in the evenings after work, but as soon as I book a weekend away with some friends I want to do it for my appearance. OH doesn't give two hoots about how I look and I am struggling to cope. Today will be the first day I will stepped onto scales since May and I am dreading it. Thats due to the 'Thinking Slimmer, being slimmer' Slimpod mind set where you stop eating when you are full and leave food on the plate. I just cant!!! So back to calorie counting and weighing myself.

Please help, Age 60 (eek) and needing to lose minimum of 4 stone.

Replies

  • katsheare
    katsheare Posts: 1,025 Member
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    One of the hardest things to know is what you personally need to achieve your goals. I, too, am not one of those people who just stops eating (I'm a grazer, one of my colleagues says I'm like a little squirrel, eating all the time - she's not wrong!) and when I got to my goal weight three years ago, I thought I could get away with not measuring or tracking. Three years later I had to admit that I need to measure. And I've had to accept that there's NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. When I get to maintenance, I'll still be measuring. Because I know, for me, it works.

    I've also found that I really notice what I can do more easily now: run up the stairs without getting winded, pick my 7 year old up, pick out clothes for work, and that the more of those changes I see, the firmer my resolve is to have the changes stick this time. I'd be willing to bet the same will happen for you. Just know that it's a long process!
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    edited October 2017
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    I think one of the most valuable assets you have, is your insight. You know what you want and you know what works and doesn't work for you, and you're aware of mindset. I'd like to share my story:

    I had struggled with my weight and overeating and fear of weight gain, for more than twenty years. It didn't occur to me until I ended up here on MFP, that I had most of it backwards - all the "helpful tips" to lose, only made me struggle. I believed I had to eat and exercise in a certain way, and to be thin. I secretly envied the "natural thin" people, while at the same time pitied them ("they don't eat!"). The understanding that weight management is a simple function of calories in-out, was a gamechanger. So was realizing that normal weight and normal fitness is enough. I started to see that "reasonable portions" were a lot smaller than what I used to eat. But most of all, I was tired of my chaotic lifestyle - starving myself in an attempt to stave off weight gain from uncontrollable binges and grazing, trying to justify buying loads of junk and throwing out good food because I never wanted it.

    So, I forced myself to cook better food, real, tasty, traditional dishes, and not be afraid of fat, sugar and salt. I started to pay attention to the real feedback my body gives me, to accept and love the soft parts as well as the hard parts (I am a woman!). I started to like to move my body. I started to feel the effect of how I feed myself.

    I don't think I can ever be able to totally trust my satiety signals, I love to eat and I hate throwing out food - but I know how much I need after counting calories for a year - so I portion out appropriate portions, and eat it up.

    This works better than I had ever imagined. I weigh myself daily, and my weight stays remarkably stable. I am amazed that my body has been able to figure this out by itself, even after so many years of abuse and neglect. This make me want to take even better care of it. I have created a feedback circle, instead of fighting myself.

    Sorry, I love to talk about myself :D I think you will succeed if you just find your way.
  • mo2go
    mo2go Posts: 29 Member
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    Thanks Kommodevaran (love the name) that was a great read. I could yatter on as well. I rarely stick to any weight loss routine as I never get the mind set that it takes time for results to come through. I loved the chatter when I went to classes but as I never really attained any sort of result (apart from when I was in my 30s) I always felt as if I had failed THEM, never me! I had done as much as I could and things weren't moving so it made me feel that I had let them down.

    30 years on now and I keep telling myself to stick to one thing and do it to the best I can do, so this is my umpteenth journey to getting my 4 stone off. I am sort of healthy, I am a size 20/22 but its down to how I feel and you are right. I know all the answers for others and how they can avoid the pitfalls but its a mind set which I need to find where I am doing this to make a difference to me, not to other people.

    Oh we are a pair but you have been on your journey, I am once again starting and focus is definitely the hardest think for me.
  • 62apples
    62apples Posts: 132 Member
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    My sister decades ago and my daughter recently looked up what their ideal weight should be. Then they calculated the maintenance calories for that ideal weight and height. They never exceed that amount nor go lower than minus 300 calories. My sister has maintained her ideal weight her whole adult life. My daughter has only been doing this for a few months and has lost 20 pounds. For most people, calories in; calories out works. For example the twinkie experiment. https://blogs.webmd.com/pamela-peeke-md/2010/11/the-twinkie-diet-caution-toxic.html

    Conversely, I have inflammation and do not lose weight from calorie restriction alone. I will swell with fluids so I only lose weight on the keto diet. From my heaviest, I have lost 55 pounds, but I couple keto with the same calorie restriction as my sister and daughter so it is keto plus calorie counting. I probably am stuck on the keto diet because I start swelling the minute I go off of it. I just make sure I get enough vegetables. I am keto and 1600 calories.
  • vicshawwill
    vicshawwill Posts: 7 Member
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    Mo2go I really believe that you can do it if you surround yourself with a supportive community so that you can think about what makes you feel good other than food. This has been the one thing that has helped me with my journey of fitness.

    I think that MFP is great, I love the community aspect. We are here to support others and we get support for our own goals at the same time.

    One of the things that has helped me is to have plans for something nice to do for myself after each meal so that I can get up from the table and not continue to graze after dinner. Night time eating is my worst habit to break, and I have to watch it because of the chronic heartburn which is more likely to occur in the evening before bed.

    Also, I love the MFP recipe uploader, it's super helpful because I love to bake, and now I have a better sense of what is the right portion size for each meal.

    I know that you can do this! Go easy on yourself....


  • sugaraddict4321
    sugaraddict4321 Posts: 15,750 MFP Moderator
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    I still struggle too, but what helps me is to stop saying I need to lose X amount to get to my ideal weight. It's too big of a target (for me) and gets discouraging. I go for smaller goals, and make sure some of them don't have anything to do with the scale. Maybe mini-goals would be easier for you too?

    My current mini-goal weight-wise is to maintain up until January. Just maintaining weight through the holidays can be a challenge, so I am going to forget even considering trying to lose! That doesn't mean I am going to eat whatever I want whenever I want. I am going to be mindful, take small portions to start and try not to drink too many empty calories.

    My non-scale goal is to keep working on my core strengthening exercises and to make sure I am walking a little bit each day. The idea is to make this body stronger and more flexible, and reduce the aches and pains.

    Some people wake up one day and decide to train for a marathon and they blaze a fitness trail. Good for them, and I love to read those stories. :) But I know that's not me so I am trying to tackle this in a way I know I can stay with it.

    Good luck on your journey. You can do this! :flowerforyou:
  • amtyrell
    amtyrell Posts: 1,449 Member
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    Nope you are at the beginning of a journey that does not end.
    You figured out calorie counts work for you. Fantastic.
    Now you just need to do it and you can.
  • mo2go
    mo2go Posts: 29 Member
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    Antyrell - awesome and straight to the point. Thanks no messing around. :smiley: Thanks everyone for your support. Might try the -what weight I should aim for and the calories to maintain that weight. Sounds a sensible idea.
  • kimirayray
    kimirayray Posts: 29 Member
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    I am with you - I recently lost about 16 pounds but since the end of August am just staying the same. Some would say that's great at least you're not gaining. But I honestly have totally changed the way I eat and I am staying pretty steady. But in reality I need to lost 30 more pounds. I am 52 and 158. I know if I got to the gym more it would help, but this is getting old fast. I know I shouldn't complain, but it's amazing how some can just decide to lose weight and it drops off them. Someone mentioned you are on a journey that does not end. This is so true - but I feel your frustration and just want to say, I'm with you on this one! Good luck :)

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