I want to be 130lbs by my 21st birthday...is this realistic? Pics
cecile97
Posts: 13 Member
Hi everyone!
So, I began my freshman year of high school at 130 pounds thinking I was extremely overweight, constantly comparing myself to the 90-pound girls in my class. Instead of losing weight healthily, I would eat very few calories, trying for the goal of 110 pounds. This obviously was not sustainable, and I became severely depressed and anti-social because I thought I was overweight, which led me down a path of consoling myself with high quantities of sodium and sugar-dense foods. When I am surrounded by friends, I am very healthy and active. However, when I get feelings of depression or anxiety (fairly often), I completely shut down and binge eat. It's the biggest catch-22: I am more anti-social because I feel self-conscious about my weight, so I stay at home and eat which makes the issue so much worse.
As high school moved on, I would spend weekends alone, baking sugary treats and eating bags of chips. Every few weeks, I would get a burst of energy and convince myself this was the time I was going to change and become healthy, but after a week I would crash. This cycle caused me to gain around 50 pounds. I weighed my heaviest at 185 my senior year, and closer to graduation I got down to the mid 170s.
I am now in my second year of college, and I have maintained a weight anywhere from 175-185. Currently, I am at 178. Also, I am 5'3. I am trying to set more realistic goals, the main one being 130 pounds by my 21st birthday. That is at the beginning of September, almost exactly 10 months from now. To lose 50 pounds by then would be ~5 pounds a month.
I can't help but feel disgusted that I look so different now from freshman year (pics below). I know I shouldn't feel this way because it's the same feelings that started this entire dilemma, but I don't know any other emotions to describe it.
So now my question is: is this realistic? How in the world do I make this the time that I actually change? I am getting desperate here.
Here are pics of my freshman prom vs junior prom (not my heaviest, I stopped taking pictures unless necessary):
Any help, guidance, tips would be so greatly appreciated. Thanks so much if you read this, it means a lot.
So, I began my freshman year of high school at 130 pounds thinking I was extremely overweight, constantly comparing myself to the 90-pound girls in my class. Instead of losing weight healthily, I would eat very few calories, trying for the goal of 110 pounds. This obviously was not sustainable, and I became severely depressed and anti-social because I thought I was overweight, which led me down a path of consoling myself with high quantities of sodium and sugar-dense foods. When I am surrounded by friends, I am very healthy and active. However, when I get feelings of depression or anxiety (fairly often), I completely shut down and binge eat. It's the biggest catch-22: I am more anti-social because I feel self-conscious about my weight, so I stay at home and eat which makes the issue so much worse.
As high school moved on, I would spend weekends alone, baking sugary treats and eating bags of chips. Every few weeks, I would get a burst of energy and convince myself this was the time I was going to change and become healthy, but after a week I would crash. This cycle caused me to gain around 50 pounds. I weighed my heaviest at 185 my senior year, and closer to graduation I got down to the mid 170s.
I am now in my second year of college, and I have maintained a weight anywhere from 175-185. Currently, I am at 178. Also, I am 5'3. I am trying to set more realistic goals, the main one being 130 pounds by my 21st birthday. That is at the beginning of September, almost exactly 10 months from now. To lose 50 pounds by then would be ~5 pounds a month.
I can't help but feel disgusted that I look so different now from freshman year (pics below). I know I shouldn't feel this way because it's the same feelings that started this entire dilemma, but I don't know any other emotions to describe it.
So now my question is: is this realistic? How in the world do I make this the time that I actually change? I am getting desperate here.
Here are pics of my freshman prom vs junior prom (not my heaviest, I stopped taking pictures unless necessary):
Any help, guidance, tips would be so greatly appreciated. Thanks so much if you read this, it means a lot.
8
Replies
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You won't be able to maintain 5lbs a month once you get closer to 130. Your weight will drop fast, but it will begin to plateau.
Don't focus on a number. Weigh your food, eat at a deficit, browse these forums to learn how to properly eat/work out/view your journey, and focus on making a healthier you that you're proud of. That's a way better way to ring in 21, rather than being frustrated if you don't reach 130lbs.15 -
Focus on building eating habits you know you can stick to in the long run. Any way of eating that just makes you feel miserable all the time is a way you're going to fail on it. Find ways to make foods you like fit into your daily calories either by eating smaller portions than before, a healthier version, or juggle your daily calories. If it helps, you can think of your daily number as like a daily bank account, you only have a certain amount so spend wisely. Some people find that keeping their protein up helps with satiety, others find fat does the job. Figure out which works for you. Browse the recipes section or Pinterest or something to give you some new meal ideas if you want or need some variety.
And remind yourself that big or small you're a wonderful person. You are NOT defined by that number on the scale
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The main thing is you realize what is happening. The biggest challenge in making that change to eat healthy and exercise which boils down to LIFESTYLE change. I am 51yo and need to lose about 40lbs to get to my goal of 180lbs. Now society says I should weigh no more then 170lbs at 5'10", but I will be happy with 180lbs. The other thing you have to realize is and my example is I spent nearly 25 years of neglecting myself to gain this weight and I cannot expect it to just melt off in a shorter time.
I am one of them yo yo people and I will fall off the wagon and then get back on. Documenting your foods helps for me cause you can see what you're eating. I am a sugar addict and I mean I can eat spoonfuls of raw sugar. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. What usually causes my bad eating is emotions. You need to find it within yourself to want that change for you and not do it for anyone else.
You can do this and yes you will have times of weakness, but dont let it be failure. If you have a bad eating day put it in the past and start new the next day. As others have said at first the weight might come off quicker, but as you get closer to your goal weight it will become harder. Dont let it stop you.5 -
A time deadline will put more pressure on you than you need. Trust me when I say that birthdays are really only just another day on the calendar; chances are nothing will change on that particular day that wouldn't happen on any other day. And life is a journey anyway, not a destination.
You've gotten some good advice in the other posts. Run your numbers on MFP, find out what your calories are right now (and remember to re-run them every 5 to 10 lbs or so), and start logging. When you take your time learning what works for you, you'll learn better habits and how to live with real food in real time. And there you'll be on your 21st birthday, on the road to a healthier way of life.7 -
I would not put a deadline on your loss. Just start today and keep going. By your birthday you will have lost some of your weight. Every pound you lose will improve your health and quality of life. Eat and exercise in a way you can sustain long term.
I am older and 5'4" but started at 179. It was about 5-6 months for me to lose 20 lbs. Then things slowed down and got more difficult.5 -
Sorry but it probably won't happen. Having a bigger deficit than what you can sustain will only make you give up. Even if you only lose 30 lbs than then, it's still better than nothing.3
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I would aim for your 22nd birthday. Only because that gives you more time to really work at changing your life. And it gives you time to adjust your goal weight. You might really get into weight lifting and decide you're happier at 150 lbs or whatever.
Good luck. Make small changes you can live with, a reasonable deficit, and try to move a bit more (moving my body and appreciating it for what it can do instead of how it looks has done amazing things for my self confidence and self worth).7 -
Your story sounds exactly like mine. I was thin and healthy in high school but many of my friends were in the low 100lbs and I was severely jealous and looked at my body (125lbs) horribly. So I totally understand that. I didn't gain the weight until my sophomore year of college but it happened the same way it did for you. I binged and had anxiety about my appearance and then I'd try restricting my food intake for a few days, thinking I'd lose weight fast so I could enjoy my life, but instead jus began the cycle all over again. It's difficult, I won't lie, but 100% doable! Instead of setting your goal to by 130lbs by your birthday, maybe set it to be a healthier version of you by your birthday. Your young and will lose the weight fast if you count your calories, log everything, and throw in small exercises like walking for 30 minutes. Just keep in mind it's easier to lose the weight at 20 than at 40! Like others said browse these forums and post any and every question you might have. Log everything that goes in your mouth to the best of your ability. And don't be too fixated on the scale. I'm 22 and was a my heaviest of 170lbs in January. I started losing the weight in march and the first 15lbs fell off. It slowed down a bit, but I'll admit I was slacking with tracking over the summer, but I never gained it back. As if today I'm down to 145.2lbs with a total of 24.8lbs lost! It's so doable I promise girlfriend. If you need someone to talk to feel free to message/add me. We're about the same age and I went through (still kind of am going through) the exact things you are now. You got this!12
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Make smaller goals so you don't get discouraged along the way and take more pictures so you can see your progress.1
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I think the primary thing you need to work on is your coping mechanisms. This has been the biggest change for, learning to eat within my goals was secondary until I got my head sorted out. Exercise is now, for the most part, my coping mechanism. Having fitness goals and wanting to be strong as well as a healthy weight helps take the focus away from purely what the scale says.
Don't set a deadline, just set smaller goals like logging what you eat, not to a goal but just what you are eating now, for a week or two. To get into the habit and see where you can easily and painlessly make tweaks. Then start with your deficit but keep it reasonable. Again, going too hard will easily make you spiral.2 -
I weighed 182 and I am currently at 149. I started in March and its October now. Admittedly, I spent a month in Europe (Italy and Denmark) where I only lightly considered what I ate, drank frequently. I basically gained 5 back over that time and am seeing the 140s for the first time. I think if you start at 180-170 and focus on calorie restriction (not too low) and add some type of weight lifting or HIIT you may find that you are happy with your progress long before 130.2
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Deadlines do actually work for me, as I’m super Type A. But, they are always realistic. For example, I want to lose 2# by the end of the year, and 10# in 2018. No monumental pressure, just a way to stay focused.2
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thanks everyone for your comments, I really appreciate all of them!!
I think I will definitely focus more on my overall health rather than a small number on the scale, but rather just keep 130 in the back of my mind. I will set smaller goals of 5 or 10 pounds to focus on.
the road to 170 starts now!12 -
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yay! here I am a little over a month later, and I am down to 168 lbs. thanks everyone for your motivation and advice, now on to hit the next goal of 158 26
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Hey, look at you!!! You're doing great! Small changes that you can live with for the rest of your life are so much more sustainable than any "diet" that you might want to try. Remember that it can creep up (holidays), or not, but long term, stay on track. You've got this! Great work 4
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Great job!! Keep it up! Take baby steps and celebrate those small victories! Even those that may not reflect on the scale. Such as: Your clothes fitting better, can run for longer periods of time without being out of breath, don't crave bad foods. Every victory, big and small, deserves to be celebrated and should give you a feeling of accomplishment. That is what keeps driving me to continue0
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I had similar stats as you, 5’2” started around 160something (I didn’t own a scale) maybe even 170. I started in Feb 2017 and by September I hit 140. It’s now December and I’m at 137. I made a few mistakes along way but the big one was: I stopped logging when I was busy and 10lbs from my goal weight (130) because I figured I could eat intuitively. As a result I plateaued for almost 5 months.
That being said I found an excercise routine that I absolutely love, I’m the fittest I’ve ever been. I’m still not at my goal weight, but I’m super happy with how far I’ve come. So even though I’m not at goal I’m confident in how I look.1 -
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I do too, but since that was 22 years ago, I doubt I'll make it.
For you,5 lbs a month isn't impossible, at first, but as you get closer to your goal, your body naturally slows down how fast you lose, so you would likely not be losing as fast as you get closer to your goal. At least not while staying healthy.1 -
Wow, haven't looked at this thread in a while. I just wanted to post an update for anyone that stumbles upon this thread who might relate in any way.
I did not hit my goal of 130 lbs by my 21st birthday because as many suggested, it got harder as I lost weight, of course. I ended up getting down to about 150 lbs, which was 30 lbs down from my highest weight. I bounced between 150 and 170 over the course of the next year. At the beginning of this year, I even ended up at 178 lbs. However, for the first time, I didn't let this control my life and affect my friendships or my mental health as much as it had in the past. I started up again as soon as I realized it wasn't a place I wanted to be.
Now, 6 months later, I am back to 155 lbs and still working hard to hit a healthy weight. I have a much more stable relationship with my body image, food, and balancing the two with my mental health. It really isn't about me vaguely setting a number on the scale that seems impossible to reach and obsessing over it until it overwhelms my brain. It is about retraining my body and brain into understanding that feelings of anxiety or depression don't have to affect what I put into my body. I used binge eating as a coping mechanism for depression and then developed an association between the two that has lasted for as long as I can remember. In order to lessen the binge eating episodes, I had to isolate my depression instead of viewing it in tandem with binge-eating.
This is not to say that now I never eat too much when I'm feeling sad or will never hit that point again- because I have no idea if that will ever be true. I have no idea if I will ever weigh 130 pounds. My only hope is to get to and maintain a healthy weight for my height, however long it takes to work through my past associations to get there!39 -
Good update - I'm sure a lot of people will be able to relate to your experience. It's fantastic that you've now got a good balanced relationship with food and body image and are getting to grips with the mental health aspect.
Slowly chipping away, with a small deficit is far easier, and more sustainable. And to see that you're 23lb lighter than you were six months ago is a huge achievement.1 -
Many people don't realize that many times you need to be in a good mental place to lose weight. When counseling is suggested there are posters that get up in arms. However, after 7 yrs on MFP, I've seen that the two go hand-in-hand and people just spin their wheels and get worse mentally. I'm glad that you're going forward and understanding yourself. Wishing you much success in the future.5
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thank you for posting this update! There are many who pop onto the forums and then just disappear, and sometimes you wonder if they met success (or in the cases of others, if they ever came to the light). Its very good to hear about the successes you've had, especially in changing your relationship with food and in improving your self view. I wish you more success to come!4
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Great update!
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You're doing it!
I'm older and I love to see young girls reach their ideal weight while they're still young enough to get maximum benefit from the effort. Your skin is tight enough to spring back into place and all the latest fashions will look fabulous on you.
You're only young once! Your face will never be this beautiful again, you'll never have as many parties and weddings to go to, you'll probably never be in a position to meet as many young men as you are now.
Take these wonderful years and be at your very best for them!1 -
Yass a dead thread resurrected by the OP and good stuff!Slowfaster wrote: »You're doing it!
I'm older and I love to see young girls reach their ideal weight while they're still young enough to get maximum benefit from the effort. Your skin is tight enough to spring back into place and all the latest fashions will look fabulous on you.
You're only young once! Your face will never be this beautiful again, you'll never have as many parties and weddings to go to, you'll probably never be in a position to meet as many young men as you are now.
Take these wonderful years and be at your very best for them!
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So much good advice in this thread. I echo it all.
Small changes, track your intake, monitor your macros, monitor your weight and measurements, small goals along the way.
A hard deadline is difficult — This is a lifestyle to a healthier you, there is no end date to that.
You’ve made a fantastic first step by logging into MFP.0 -
Slowfaster wrote: »You're doing it!
I'm older and I love to see young girls reach their ideal weight while they're still young enough to get maximum benefit from the effort. Your skin is tight enough to spring back into place and all the latest fashions will look fabulous on you.
You're only young once! Your face will never be this beautiful again, you'll never have as many parties and weddings to go to, you'll probably never be in a position to meet as many young men as you are now.
Take these wonderful years and be at your very best for them!
Sorry, hon, I disagree. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and goes well beyond physical appearance. Age does not mean that someone is losing beauty; in fact, I can point to several people that I personally know, in addition to various celebrities, who became even more lovely the older they got. A pleasant outside appearance will always be trumped by inward character.
I'd say that the advantage to getting to ideal weight when she is young is that she lessens the damage long term weight gain can do to her health and losing the weight now will minimum the impact the extra weight will have on her body so she won't be facing the joint problems, skin problems and other health issues that many of the rest of us who spent much more time being obese are dealing with now.
The advantage is for her health and has nothing whatsoever to do with beauty.9
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