I've always wanted to post here... (picture)

Maybaby100
Maybaby100 Posts: 84 Member
edited November 2017 in Success Stories
Folks YOU can do this. I have spent my entire adult life thinking was fat and trying off and on to loose weight, without any real success. I've gained and gained over the years. I've read your stories here and wished I could be one of them, but nothing I lost ever felt significant.

In 2000- I met my husband at 116 lbs
2001- At 17 years old we got married I was 144 lbs after 2 miscarriages and lots of fast food.
2002- I got pregnant with my first son. At this time I was 165 lbs and maintained that after I had him.
Between 2002 and 2009 I gained about 10 lbs. I was 174 lbs when I got pregnant with my second son.
2011- decided I'd had enough. Started going to the gym, eating better managed to get down to 155
Sometime between 2011 and 2016 I put on everything that I had lost plus 10 more! 184...
2015- started working in a resturant. Lots of moving, but lots of food. Another 10 lb gain... 194.
2016-2017- got a desk job... no moving, still eating compulsivly... 207.7

That was it... I went to the Dr. And told her I was having bad cramps, something was wrong. She said you need to loose weight.

I knew she was right. Not only for my physical health, but for my emotional health as well. I've spent my entire adult life shaming my own body. I've always thought I was fat. Always wondered how my husband can love me or desire me when I look like this. My ENTIRE marriage, I've not been confident in my own skin.

If I continued on this path, not only would it be devastating to my self esteem, but to my health. I need to do this.

My family Dr. prescribed me a a medication for Binge eating disorder and I have to admit. I am not doing this on my own. This is helping me tremendously. But I need to learn to do it on my own. It's expensive. My insurance won't cover it. It's been a great tool for me though. I am slowly learning to love myself.

Sorry this was so winded, but I wanted to explain where I'm coming from. I've been on here for years. I've dieted and worked out and gave up every single time. I won't this time. It's not an option.

Here is what a 20+ lb loss looks like in my face. I'm having a have time noticing a photo difference in my body, but it will come.

 https://m.imgur.com/a/yt2AW

Replies

  • Foodfavor
    Foodfavor Posts: 94 Member
    Congratulations!! I am sorry for all the bullpoop you have gone through. You are looking great. Keep up the good work.
  • Maybaby100
    Maybaby100 Posts: 84 Member
    Foodfavor wrote: »
    Congratulations!! I am sorry for all the bullpoop you have gone through. You are looking great. Keep up the good work.

    Thanks hun! All of what I've gone through with this has been in my own head. My husband has never shamed me, always loved and supported me.

    My parents married, dated and divorced (different people) so many times. I think it gave me the impression that men won't stick around if you are not perfect.

    I'm learning to reel myself back in from these thoughts.
  • brittaney10811
    brittaney10811 Posts: 588 Member
    Congratulations! I'm so heartbroken to hear about your earlier MC's... the heart never truly heals from that. <3

    As for the weight loss, well done!! Don't feel like whatever medication you are on is the only reason you're losing though. You have the drive, all it takes is waking up and making the right decision every morning!
  • Maybaby100
    Maybaby100 Posts: 84 Member
    brittaney10811 wrote: »
    Congratulations! I'm so heartbroken to hear about your earlier MC's... the heart never truly heals from that. <3

    As for the weight loss, well done!! Don't feel like whatever medication you are on is the only reason you're losing though. You have the drive, all it takes is waking up and making the right decision every morning!

    Thanks Brittaney,

    It is heartbreaking and I still will always wonder about them and who they would have been and what they would have done, but I know that God's timing is perfect and I had two great kids exactly when the time was right.

    I know the medication is not the only reason. I am glad it is helping. I think a change in mind set has made huge difference also.

    I appreciate your encouraging words. :)
  • Maybaby100
    Maybaby100 Posts: 84 Member
    Thehardmakesitworthit wrote: »
    If I may be so bold: you are a beautiful woman and speaking from the heart here, it is a very sad thing to live with regret when you reach the age of 53 and finally figure it out. So much life I have missed out on by not taking control of my health. Mind, body and soul. When I figured out that having discipline is freedom....well, I was on my way. and you can do it. and you MUST do it. The time is now. This journey is a long road, as you know, but it is not impossible but we are the masters of our own fate. Go for it! and all the best!!!!

    Thank you for this. My eyes actually filled with tears reading it. It's so hard for us to just love ourselves and let others love us sometimes.

    Thank you for your kind words and support.
  • aganey
    aganey Posts: 501 Member
    I could’ve written your original post!!! In high school (2001 grad) I weighed 118 at 5’7”. I have been with my husband since then. When I got pregnant I was 23 and weighed 145. Never lost baby weight due to desk job so by then was 182. Gained up to 198 because food days at work, a lot of fast food at home. Had a miscarriage and fibroid surgery then got pregnant with daughter. Got gestational diabetes with that pregnancy so only gained 5 pounds (203) the day I had her. Lost all the way down to 161 due to how well I ate while pregnant and breastfeeding. Went back to work, my desk job, got back up to 191 then quit working to stay home. Went up to 196 staying home sitting a lot with my toddler. Just started back again oct 5th and feel like I’m taking control of my life now. I totally feel everything you have gone through. It sucks, really bad when I eat so bad it makes me lay around all day and watch my daughter bring every toy from her room to the living room just to play where I am bc I’m too lazy to get up and play with her. That, along with health issues that were starting to occur is what made me start back and for good this time. We have to do this for our health, for our mental health, for our kids. My husband is also like yours. He makes me feel so beautiful no matter what and supports me to no end. Feel free to add me and we can try to do this together!! We have the power and drive! We can do this!!
  • Metamorph100
    Metamorph100 Posts: 5 Member
    Thehardmakesitworthit wrote: »
    If I may be so bold: you are a beautiful woman and speaking from the heart here, it is a very sad thing to live with regret when you reach the age of 53 and finally figure it out. So much life I have missed out on by not taking control of my health. Mind, body and soul. When I figured out that having discipline is freedom....well, I was on my way. and you can do it. and you MUST do it. The time is now. This journey is a long road, as you know, but it is not impossible but we are the masters of our own fate. Go for it! and all the best!!!!

    I wish I could vote this post as both awesome and inspiring. I'm 42 and can't believe I've let this weight write my entire adult life story. I swore up and down every year that I wasn't going to hit 25, 30, 40 like this. Instead, I just gained more. Two years ago, I was finally losing weight and learning discipline. Then my parents moved in with us. I had two children under 3 and I basically lost all my control and gained back 50 pounds over last winter.

    I have been failing all year to get back to that headspace. I have ZERO self-discipline. Not with money, not with sugar, not with routines or chores. Nothing.

    Thank you for this post. It reminded me that I have already lost so much of my life to this affliction, but that I still have so much life to live if I can just DO THIS. My oldest just started kindergarten and my little one is in preschool. They deserve a Mom who can do things and participate in their lives to the fullest.

    Thank you for these three words: discipline is freedom. I had been seeing it as the opposite. I wanted the "freedom" to eat what I wanted. Only now do I see that I was trying to have the "freedom" without the consequences and guess what? As you know, it just doesn't work that way.

    Now I will make this my mantra. Discipline is freedom. Discipline is my ticket to the life I'm desperate not to lose out on.

    Now to figure out how to get some. XD

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