help badly needed for clueless newbie

EsmeMary101
EsmeMary101 Posts: 154 Member
Hello everyone. This is my first time to post in her. I badly need advise and guidance.

I'm a 44year old female who's lost 48lbs since January. I now weigh 125lbs I am 5' 6" .

I go to the gym 4 times ( or occasionally 3 times) a week. I do 30 mins cardio on the rowing machine and then I do 40 mins lifting little weights and using the strength training machines. I finish off with 10 or 15 mins pilates/ yoga stretches.

I'm pleased to have lost so much weight (50lbs was my latest goal) but I'm disappointed with how my body looks. I know it is probably age related and also because I've had 4 children since my 30s when I last felt happy with my body but what should I do next?

I have a suspicion weight lifting might be the answer and that maybe I should eat more!!! I'm loath to do that as I have tried so hard to lose the fat I have.

I've been trying to eat 1200 calories for over 6 months now and I do mostly hit between 1100 and 1300. I weigh every thing and log religiously. I don't really eat fast food but I have a sweet tooth and I don't eat much veg. My diary is open. I also don't think I would be able to start buying protein products.

I'm thinking of buying a book called The new rules of weight lifting.

any advise would be very welcome

I'm willing to post a pic but it's not pretty.

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Replies

  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    edited November 2017
    in what way are you disappointed?

    ETA: Your diary isn't open.
  • EsmeMary101
    EsmeMary101 Posts: 154 Member
    Thank you @TavistockToad I've made it public now, it was set to friends.
  • deannalfisher
    deannalfisher Posts: 5,600 Member
    run your MFP stats for maintenance (no gain/loss) and eat them, plus a portion of your workout calories; lift heavy *kitten* - a structured program (stronglifts 5x5, wendler or similar) may help

    essentially you want to recomp (lose fat while gaining muscle)
  • deannalfisher
    deannalfisher Posts: 5,600 Member
    taking a quick look at your diary - i would also try to concentrate more on protein - as you are trying to recomp that will be more critical - RDA for non-athlete is 1g/kg of goal lean muscle mass; for athletes - .8-1g/lb of goal lean muscle mass
  • EsmeMary101
    EsmeMary101 Posts: 154 Member
    edited November 2017
    I guess I'm disappointed that I don't look fantastic. I thought I'd look brilliant if I weighed this much but my skin is saggy on my belly and my arms have no definition. I don't really look skinny.
  • pogiguy05
    pogiguy05 Posts: 1,583 Member
    First of all Congrats on your success and I am 51yo and trying to lose about 50lbs myself. I am not much of a reader and learn better by doing. I would suggest if you can get a book on how to properly lift so as to not hurt yourself.I simply read the instructions on the machines.

    I have a membership at La Fitness and I dont have anyone to workout with so it is sometimes hard for me to go in there and do a workout. I started out doing 3 reps of 15 and using a lighter weight. This month my goal is to do 3 reps of 8 to 12 using heavier weights. So far it seems to have been working for me as I can do heavier weights and I have noticed the soreness in my muscles the day after.

    IF you do get into a decent amount of weight lifting, dont worry about the calories so much cause you need more calories to help you build muscle. Of course everyone is different, but if you dont eat enough your doing yourself more harm then good. Your muscles will need protein to build. One of my other goals is to hit the gym everyday this month to see where I am at the end of the month. I already feel much better and have lost a little weight.

    They have some youtube videos on how actors prepare themselves for roles in like 8 months to 18 months and it can be very challenging. The one thing I have heard them all saying is the hardest part was the eating. Chicken breasts. white fish, broccoli and having to eat so much. The reason is that when they truly hit the gym for so many hours you need them calories.

    The last thing I would have to say is your 44yo and have had 4 children. I doubt you would get that belly to go perfectly flat without some kind of liposuction. Your very beautiful in your profile pic and as a guy I dont expect a woman to look perfect.My journey is just getting started and I hope you can achieve your goals.
  • RachsLosses
    RachsLosses Posts: 103 Member
    From what you have described it looks like you are putting all the work in that you need! which is a great start.

    It can be difficult sometimes, we think our bodies will look a certain way when we reach our goal weight, I wanted to go back to my previous lowest weight and when I got there my body didn't look the same way it did 2 years ago when I first achieved it, everything changes.

    As Pogiguy has mentioned the next step would be to try incorpoate more protein into your diet, there are some simple swaps like eggs for breakfast instead of porridge, chicken, white fish etc which should be easy enough to include. The next thing is to start lifting heavier weights, the strong lifts 5x5 programme that has been mentioned is great, you just need to challenge yourself.

    If you find the areas you want to focus on (arms, legs etc) do a couple days of targeting those areas in your plan, for example I was happy enough with my leg definition but needed more arm muscle, I switched my plan to do 2 days a week focussed on arms, 1 day a week focussed on legs and 1 day a week focussed on cardio (each arm/leg day included some lighter cardio)

    It's also reccomended to do the weights first and cardio second as the cardio may be tiring you out and then you'll lift less.

    See how it goes, listen to your body! Good luck
  • psuLemon
    psuLemon Posts: 38,428 MFP Moderator
    edited November 2017
    Coleteo wrote: »
    I guess I'm disappointed that I don't look fantastic. I thought I'd look brilliant if I weighed this much but my skin is saggy on my belly and my arms have no definition. I don't really look skinny.


    I suspect, based on what I have seen with a lot of women who are at a lower weight range, that this is probably because you are pretty low calorie, fairly low protein (definitely not enough for muscle sustainment during weight loss) and potentially have an inadequate training program that would have supported muscle development.

    I suspect that you probably lost some muscle which you may have to rebuild to help "fill in" your skin.

    What does your lifting program look like?
  • psuLemon
    psuLemon Posts: 38,428 MFP Moderator
    pogiguy05 wrote: »
    First of all Congrats on your success and I am 51yo and trying to lose about 50lbs myself. I am not much of a reader and learn better by doing. I would suggest if you can get a book on how to properly lift so as to not hurt yourself.I simply read the instructions on the machines.

    I have a membership at La Fitness and I dont have anyone to workout with so it is sometimes hard for me to go in there and do a workout. I started out doing 3 reps of 15 and using a lighter weight. This month my goal is to do 3 reps of 8 to 12 using heavier weights. So far it seems to have been working for me as I can do heavier weights and I have noticed the soreness in my muscles the day after.

    IF you do get into a decent amount of weight lifting, dont worry about the calories so much cause you need more calories to help you build muscle. Of course everyone is different, but if you dont eat enough your doing yourself more harm then good. Your muscles will need protein to build. One of my other goals is to hit the gym everyday this month to see where I am at the end of the month. I already feel much better and have lost a little weight.

    They have some youtube videos on how actors prepare themselves for roles in like 8 months to 18 months and it can be very challenging. The one thing I have heard them all saying is the hardest part was the eating. Chicken breasts. white fish, broccoli and having to eat so much. The reason is that when they truly hit the gym for so many hours you need them calories.

    The last thing I would have to say is your 44yo and have had 4 children. I doubt you would get that belly to go perfectly flat without some kind of liposuction. Your very beautiful in your profile pic and as a guy I dont expect a woman to look perfect.My journey is just getting started and I hope you can achieve your goals.

    The bold is false unless that OP has had some kind of diagnosed separation issues. It may not be easy and may take a few founds of bulks/cuts to build mass and cut to a low enough body fat, but it is achievable.
  • EsmeMary101
    EsmeMary101 Posts: 154 Member
    Thank you everyone. That's very interesting. I'm hopeful the look I'm going for is possible
  • canadianlbs
    canadianlbs Posts: 5,199 Member
    edited November 2017
    Coleteo wrote: »
    I guess I'm disappointed that I don't look fantastic.

    i like you sight unseen, just for making this remark. you're absolutely not on your own with that one.

    lifting is a good thing. i've heard nrol is a terrific resource though i don't have the kind of patience for what the format of it sounds like to me. i went with compound lifting and used the stronglifts 5x5 format in combination with mark rippetoe's starting strength book for the details about how and why. but i don't think the pathway matters, as long as it's one that works well for you.

    i've been lifting since 2014, which was around when i had that 'wait, this doesn't look like what i expected' moment. i'm just going to say, for wahtever it's worth: i love lifting and have got addicted to strength . . . but i can't say after three years at it that lifting made my body line up with the picture i had in my mind either.

    fact is, when i decided i had to lose weight, i ahd this naive idea that those 25 pounds were the only thing standing between me and my 25-year-old self. since then i've got smarter and come to terms with the fact that it doesn't matter whether i lift or don't lift, or just lose the fat . . . there's also 27 years between me and that long-ago self, and there's no way to peel those years off.

    i like how i look now with all my new muscle mass, don't get me wrong. but when i was 25 and weighed 125, i didn't have muscles at all. so this current 125-pound version of me is just plain-and-simply a different look.
  • EsmeMary101
    EsmeMary101 Posts: 154 Member
    psuLemon wrote: »
    Coleteo wrote: »
    I guess I'm disappointed that I don't look fantastic. I thought I'd look brilliant if I weighed this much but my skin is saggy on my belly and my arms have no definition. I don't really look skinny.


    I suspect, based on what I have seen with a lot of women who are at a lower weight range, that this is probably because you are pretty low calorie, fairly low protein (definitely not enough for muscle sustainment during weight loss) and potentially have an inadequate training program that would have supported muscle development.

    I suspect that you probably lost some muscle which you may have to rebuild to help "fill in" your skin.

    What does your lifting program look like?

    At the moment I do this after 30 mins on the rowing machine

    Bench press 5kg x2 10 x 3
    Bicep curl 5kg (plus bar) 10 x 3
    Tricep ext 2.5kg 12 x 3
    Calf raises 6 x 3

    Rows 7.5kg 10 x 3 (each arm)
    Tricep dips 6 x 3
    lateral raise 2.5kg x2 8 x 3

    Shoulder press 10kg 8 x 3
    Chest press 10kg 8 x 3
    lat pull down 15kg 12 x 3

    leg press 50kg 6 x 3
    leg curl 15kg 10 x 3
    leg extention 15kg 10 x 3


    Then I do about 10 or 15 mins pilates type stuff planks and stretching.

    Hope that makes sense I don't really know what I'm doing but I've been enjoying it.
  • EsmeMary101
    EsmeMary101 Posts: 154 Member
    Coleteo wrote: »
    I guess I'm disappointed that I don't look fantastic.

    i like you sight unseen, just for making this remark. you're absolutely not on your own with that one.

    lifting is a good thing. i've heard nrol is a terrific resource though i don't have the kind of patience for what the format of it sounds like to me. i went with compound lifting and used the stronglifts 5x5 format in combination with mark rippetoe's starting strength book for the details about how and why. but i don't think the pathway matters, as long as it's one that works well for you.

    i've been lifting since 2014, which was around when i had that 'wait, this doesn't look like what i expected' moment. i'm just going to say, for wahtever it's worth: i love lifting and have got addicted to strength . . . but i can't say after three years at it that lifting made my body line up with the picture i had in my mind either.

    fact is, when i decided i had to lose weight, i ahd this naive idea that those 25 pounds were the only thing standing between me and my 25-year-old self. since then i've got smarter and come to terms with the fact that it doesn't matter whether i lift or don't lift, or just lose the fat . . . there's also 27 years between me and that long-ago self, and there's no way to peel those years off.

    i like how i look now with all my new muscle mass, don't get me wrong. but when i was 25 and weighed 125, i didn't have muscles at all. so this current 125-pound version of me is just plain-and-simply a different look.

    I really relate to this. I think it might be abit of that going on with me too. I have to accept I won't look like a 20 year old version of myself now that I'm in my 40s!
  • psuLemon
    psuLemon Posts: 38,428 MFP Moderator
    Coleteo wrote: »
    psuLemon wrote: »
    Coleteo wrote: »
    I guess I'm disappointed that I don't look fantastic. I thought I'd look brilliant if I weighed this much but my skin is saggy on my belly and my arms have no definition. I don't really look skinny.


    I suspect, based on what I have seen with a lot of women who are at a lower weight range, that this is probably because you are pretty low calorie, fairly low protein (definitely not enough for muscle sustainment during weight loss) and potentially have an inadequate training program that would have supported muscle development.

    I suspect that you probably lost some muscle which you may have to rebuild to help "fill in" your skin.

    What does your lifting program look like?

    At the moment I do this after 30 mins on the rowing machine

    Bench press 5kg x2 10 x 3
    Bicep curl 5kg (plus bar) 10 x 3
    Tricep ext 2.5kg 12 x 3
    Calf raises 6 x 3

    Rows 7.5kg 10 x 3 (each arm)
    Tricep dips 6 x 3
    lateral raise 2.5kg x2 8 x 3

    Shoulder press 10kg 8 x 3
    Chest press 10kg 8 x 3
    lat pull down 15kg 12 x 3

    leg press 50kg 6 x 3
    leg curl 15kg 10 x 3
    leg extention 15kg 10 x 3


    Then I do about 10 or 15 mins pilates type stuff planks and stretching.

    Hope that makes sense I don't really know what I'm doing but I've been enjoying it.

    Do you do all these moves on the same day? Do you increase weights each session?
  • hoppgeorge
    hoppgeorge Posts: 368 Member
    It was recommended to me to do cardio after lifting. It was a big help. I wish you the best! You are beautiful no matter what!
  • liveedges
    liveedges Posts: 1 Member
    I LIKE YOUR BODY. IS IT JUST ME? NO.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    liveedges wrote: »
    I LIKE YOUR BODY. IS IT JUST ME? NO.

    I hope you're OPs husband, otherwise creepy AF...
  • EsmeMary101
    EsmeMary101 Posts: 154 Member
    psuLemon wrote: »
    Coleteo wrote: »
    psuLemon wrote: »
    Coleteo wrote: »
    I guess I'm disappointed that I don't look fantastic. I thought I'd look brilliant if I weighed this much but my skin is saggy on my belly and my arms have no definition. I don't really look skinny.


    I suspect, based on what I have seen with a lot of women who are at a lower weight range, that this is probably because you are pretty low calorie, fairly low protein (definitely not enough for muscle sustainment during weight loss) and potentially have an inadequate training program that would have supported muscle development.

    I suspect that you probably lost some muscle which you may have to rebuild to help "fill in" your skin.

    What does your lifting program look like?

    At the moment I do this after 30 mins on the rowing machine

    Bench press 5kg x2 10 x 3
    Bicep curl 5kg (plus bar) 10 x 3
    Tricep ext 2.5kg 12 x 3
    Calf raises 6 x 3

    Rows 7.5kg 10 x 3 (each arm)
    Tricep dips 6 x 3
    lateral raise 2.5kg x2 8 x 3

    Shoulder press 10kg 8 x 3
    Chest press 10kg 8 x 3
    lat pull down 15kg 12 x 3

    leg press 50kg 6 x 3
    leg curl 15kg 10 x 3
    leg extention 15kg 10 x 3


    Then I do about 10 or 15 mins pilates type stuff planks and stretching.

    Hope that makes sense I don't really know what I'm doing but I've been enjoying it.

    Do you do all these moves on the same day? Do you increase weights each session?

    Yes I do exactly this Mondays, Tues Thursday and Friday (occasionally I miss a day). I've worked my way up to this number of reps and weights.
  • EsmeMary101
    EsmeMary101 Posts: 154 Member
    hoppgeorge wrote: »
    It was recommended to me to do cardio after lifting. It was a big help. I wish you the best! You are beautiful no matter what!

    Thank u. I'll do my cardio at the end this week and see if I can do heavier weights beforehand.
  • psuLemon
    psuLemon Posts: 38,428 MFP Moderator
    Coleteo wrote: »
    psuLemon wrote: »
    Coleteo wrote: »
    psuLemon wrote: »
    Coleteo wrote: »
    I guess I'm disappointed that I don't look fantastic. I thought I'd look brilliant if I weighed this much but my skin is saggy on my belly and my arms have no definition. I don't really look skinny.


    I suspect, based on what I have seen with a lot of women who are at a lower weight range, that this is probably because you are pretty low calorie, fairly low protein (definitely not enough for muscle sustainment during weight loss) and potentially have an inadequate training program that would have supported muscle development.

    I suspect that you probably lost some muscle which you may have to rebuild to help "fill in" your skin.

    What does your lifting program look like?

    At the moment I do this after 30 mins on the rowing machine

    Bench press 5kg x2 10 x 3
    Bicep curl 5kg (plus bar) 10 x 3
    Tricep ext 2.5kg 12 x 3
    Calf raises 6 x 3

    Rows 7.5kg 10 x 3 (each arm)
    Tricep dips 6 x 3
    lateral raise 2.5kg x2 8 x 3

    Shoulder press 10kg 8 x 3
    Chest press 10kg 8 x 3
    lat pull down 15kg 12 x 3

    leg press 50kg 6 x 3
    leg curl 15kg 10 x 3
    leg extention 15kg 10 x 3


    Then I do about 10 or 15 mins pilates type stuff planks and stretching.

    Hope that makes sense I don't really know what I'm doing but I've been enjoying it.

    Do you do all these moves on the same day? Do you increase weights each session?

    Yes I do exactly this Mondays, Tues Thursday and Friday (occasionally I miss a day). I've worked my way up to this number of reps and weights.

    I'd consider switching to a more structure program as yours is missing some good back moves, but it's also a bit unbalanced. There are some great beginner programs that can help you build up a more solid foundation (it does include New Rules of Lifting for Woman).

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10332083/which-lifting-program-is-the-best-for-you/p1

    I guess my question comes down to this. What are you willing to do to get the body you really want. At the very least, you should probably eat around maintenance and continue to lift (this will drive some recomposition - cycles of muscle building and fat loss essentially). Alternatively, you'd need to consider bulking/cutting to build some muscle that you might have lost during your weight loss. Both are valid approaches, just depends on what you can dedicate yourself to and what you are willing to endure.
  • rheddmobile
    rheddmobile Posts: 6,840 Member
    Don't be afraid to lift heavy. Do read New Rules of Lifting for Women. Choose compound movements which work multiple muscles over machines which work one. In particular doing leg curls and so on instead of squats and deadlifts is neglecting your stabilizing muscles in your core.

    I would also note that recent studies have found that static stretching on the same day as lifting slows down muscle recovery.
  • brendanwhite84
    brendanwhite84 Posts: 219 Member
    Don't be afraid to lift heavy. Do read New Rules of Lifting for Women. Choose compound movements which work multiple muscles over machines which work one. In particular doing leg curls and so on instead of squats and deadlifts is neglecting your stabilizing muscles in your core.

    I would also note that recent studies have found that static stretching on the same day as lifting slows down muscle recovery.

    +1 for compound heavy lifts. Women should not worry about getting bulky (if any women here have ever worried about that). I'm a tall guy with a lean frame and obviously higher testosterone than any of you and I have busted my *kitten* on heavy free weights to achieve a decent toned look that I couldn't even remotely describe as bulky.
  • psuLemon
    psuLemon Posts: 38,428 MFP Moderator
    Don't be afraid to lift heavy. Do read New Rules of Lifting for Women. Choose compound movements which work multiple muscles over machines which work one. In particular doing leg curls and so on instead of squats and deadlifts is neglecting your stabilizing muscles in your core.

    I would also note that recent studies have found that static stretching on the same day as lifting slows down muscle recovery.

    Excessive static stretching before a workout can hurt performance. People are better off doing it after a work if anything. Below is a pretty good write up on stretching/warming up.

    http://www.lookgreatnaked.com/blog/warming-up-prior-to-resistance-training-an-excerpt-from-strong-sculpted/
  • EsmeMary101
    EsmeMary101 Posts: 154 Member
    Thank you. I appreciate the replies. I really am a bit clueless. I don't fully understand alot of it. I've just been piecing it together as I go along. I've read the links and I've ordered the book. Is it naive to think I can do it myself or should I get help? I really don't want to be wasting my time or worse, injure myself. I'm happy to put in the time and effort as long as I'm going in the right direction.
  • brendanwhite84
    brendanwhite84 Posts: 219 Member
    edited November 2017
    Coleteo wrote: »
    Thank you. I appreciate the replies. I really am a bit clueless. I don't fully understand alot of it. I've just been piecing it together as I go along. I've read the links and I've ordered the book. Is it naive to think I can do it myself or should I get help? I really don't want to be wasting my time or worse, injure myself. I'm happy to put in the time and effort as long as I'm going in the right direction.

    I started strength training completely by myself by buying some home gym equipment and using an app. The good thing about that particular app (Stronglifts 5x5, which I don't use anymore because I hate squats and it overdoes them IMO, haha) is that its creator provides pretty decent form advice on the app / his website.

    Edit: There are also good form videos on YouTube for the big compound lifts.

    I really think you'll find you can do it yourself. Feel free to PM/add me if you want some advice from a habitual loner who's made some good progress in weightlifting without using a personal trainer or setting foot in a commercial gym.
  • canadianlbs
    canadianlbs Posts: 5,199 Member
    Coleteo wrote: »
    Is it naive to think I can do it myself or should I get help? I really don't want to be wasting my time or worse, injure myself. I'm happy to put in the time and effort as long as I'm going in the right direction.

    you don't sound like the kind of person for whom such a thought is naive. could be judging you by myself, i guess.

    i was heading for 49 the first time i touched a barbell. started doing stronglifts after a few months of flailing around, and i did it 'alone' [except for good ol' mark rippetoe and a whole ton of google/youtube] for a little bit more than a year after that. at that point i realised i was never going to figure out my squat problem alone, and went looking for a trainer. [he hasn't been able to figure it out either, three years in, btw].

    i don't mean to sound cavalier about the risks of lifting, but to be honest my own experience was: there's a fair bit you can safely learn by pure trial and error - IF you are conscious, prepared to pay attention to your body and able to learn from whatever it's telling you. any reputable programme is progressive, which means you don't just wander in and rip your own body weight off the floor on the very first day. most people get time to study how it's affecting them and make adjustments as they go along.

    i guess the tl;dr is: there isn't really an 'it' with lifting. it's not like getting to the top of mount everest where you either did or you didn't. or maybe it is. there's still a fair way you can go towards getting there, just by yourself.
  • misnomer1
    misnomer1 Posts: 646 Member
    edited November 2017
    Compound exercises. Program like starting strength or stronglifts5x5. Eat at maintenance or slightly above. Decent protein intake. 1 year to see some results.

    Lifting 3x a week. Better to do cardio, yoga or pilates on the other 4 days. If doing a strength program, my suggestion is to keep cardio at low intensity.
  • EsmeMary101
    EsmeMary101 Posts: 154 Member
    Coleteo wrote: »
    Is it naive to think I can do it myself or should I get help? I really don't want to be wasting my time or worse, injure myself. I'm happy to put in the time and effort as long as I'm going in the right direction.

    you don't sound like the kind of person for whom such a thought is naive. could be judging you by myself, i guess.

    i was heading for 49 the first time i touched a barbell. started doing stronglifts after a few months of flailing around, and i did it 'alone' [except for good ol' mark rippetoe and a whole ton of google/youtube] for a little bit more than a year after that. at that point i realised i was never going to figure out my squat problem alone, and went looking for a trainer. [he hasn't been able to figure it out either, three years in, btw].

    i don't mean to sound cavalier about the risks of lifting, but to be honest my own experience was: there's a fair bit you can safely learn by pure trial and error - IF you are conscious, prepared to pay attention to your body and able to learn from whatever it's telling you. any reputable programme is progressive, which means you don't just wander in and rip your own body weight off the floor on the very first day. most people get time to study how it's affecting them and make adjustments as they go along.

    i guess the tl;dr is: there isn't really an 'it' with lifting. it's not like getting to the top of mount everest where you either did or you didn't. or maybe it is. there's still a fair way you can go towards getting there, just by yourself.

    Brilliant, thank you. I'm delighted to hear that. I would prefer to get on with it by myself.
  • EsmeMary101
    EsmeMary101 Posts: 154 Member
    misnomer1 wrote: »
    Compound exercises. Program like starting strength or stronglifts5x5. Eat at maintenance or slightly above. Decent protein intake. 1 year to see some results.

    Lifting 3x a week. Better to do cardio, yoga or pilates on the other 4 days. If doing a strength program, my suggestion is to keep cardio at low intensity.

    Thank you
  • EsmeMary101
    EsmeMary101 Posts: 154 Member
    Thank you all. I really appreciate the advice and insight. The more I read the more I look forward to getting started.
This discussion has been closed.