Fighting B.E.D

Im Sabrina, and I have struggled with Binge Eating Disorder for as long as I can remember. I was too embarrassed to tell anyone, so I steuggled alone. A couple of years ago, my mom passed away at the age of 49, due to complications with diabetes. My grandfather passed away the same way when I was 16. I am 34 now, and terrified that I will suffer the same fate. I weigh 222 lbs. at 5 ft tall. I feel sick all the time. My immune system doesn't work as well as it used to. Finally, I told my doctor about the binge eating. He prescribed Vyvanse for it. I know it's a crutch. I have to learn to live better, and exercise my willpower. The medicine helps though. I've taken it for a month now, and I don't live to eat as much. It has helped me focus my efforts into losing weight and research a healthier lifestyle. I never knew what nutrition meant. I won't lie; I stil struggle daily. The vending machine, taunts me on my way to break. My family can't bring any snacks into the house without the threat of me eating all of them overnight. It's horrible, and still a bit lonely. However, I have lost 6 lbs in a month. I expect to lose more. I don't go into the store on certain days, mostly because I can't really trust myself. Hopefully, I won't fall off the wagon again because I really do not want to die like my mom did. It was traumatic. I want to live and be healthy. I want to see my boys grow up and have kids, or whatever they choose to do. I still need my mom, and I know they will still need me. I don't want to break my husbands heart the way my mom broke my dads heart. So for now I will talk to you guys and get it off my chest.