Loved ones are tired of hearing about my progress and process.

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Replies

  • BrookeLynn18
    BrookeLynn18 Posts: 22 Member
    CONGRATULATIONS! That is amazing! Keep going. I believe in you. I'm sure going shopping for clothes is more fun and comfortable (and more expensive as time goes on haha!) The day you hit your goal will be an amazing day. I'm sorry that your inner circle is tired of hearing about your success :( It does make it hard when nobody around you is trying to do the same thing (boat I'm in), but doing it for yourself is the goal. There's no reason you can't celebrate! This is a good place to come. It sucks that not everyone understood that you needed support, not advice. Keep logging!
  • PDXShannon
    PDXShannon Posts: 20 Member
    Thank you to those of you who encourage me and have added me as friends! That’s just what I asked for and needed.

    I adore my loved ones. They each have their reasons for how they interact with me. Bacon wavers think they’re funny. The article sender just loves me and has anxiety and worries about everything. Some are worried I’ll leave them behind. Some are feeling bad about the things they want to do but haven’t quite found the motivation to do yet. I understand everyone is on their own journey.

    My situation is unique because I have a very isolated life due to my schedule, the nature of my career, and my location. I only see and talk to my loved ones occasionally...maybe every few months if I’m lucky. So, even though my changes are gradual, they seem drastic to them (sort of like when you don’t see a child for a long time but you’re still surprised that they’re bigger), and it can cause some intense reactions.

    Lol so, all the advice about my talking too much for three years doesn’t really apply here. Thank you though...I’m sure it applies to someone.

    I’m not expecting them to change on my terms, and I’m certainly not going to stop my progress to keep them comfortable.

    I’m just happy to be here with people experiencing the same things so we can be happy for each other!

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for friending me and/or supporting me!!

  • gymprincess1234
    gymprincess1234 Posts: 493 Member
    Haha I feel ya! At the end of the day you have to be your own biggest cheerleader. And when noone close will listen anymore, there's always MFP :D
  • 81Katz
    81Katz Posts: 7,074 Member
    I don't think that too many people in my life really care about what I'm doing health/fitness wise and that kinda stinks at times. It'd be nice to have a couple 'cheerleaders' but it is what it is I guess.
  • jenmarrs429
    jenmarrs429 Posts: 45 Member
    First rule of diet club: Do not talk about diet club!

    People are jealous, insecure, and ashamed of their choices. Talking about diet, weight, and exercise is always rough territory.
    I think too that diet success makes everyone a little bit pompous. I got that way the first time I got thin, and saw friends do it too when they lost weight. It’s natural and you try not to let it seep into your conversations with loved ones but it does. Add to that their jealousy and shame and it is a recipe for disaster!

    Been through it, and am not talking this time!
  • Dazzler21
    Dazzler21 Posts: 1,249 Member
    Change how you tell them - Don't constantly seek approval - Earn it.
  • PDXShannon
    PDXShannon Posts: 20 Member
    81Katz wrote: »
    I don't think that too many people in my life really care about what I'm doing health/fitness wise and that kinda stinks at times. It'd be nice to have a couple 'cheerleaders' but it is what it is I guess.

    I will cheer you!!!
  • PDXShannon
    PDXShannon Posts: 20 Member
    edited November 2017
    Dazzler21 wrote: »
    Change how you tell them - Don't constantly seek approval - Earn it.

    I think seeking approval is quite a different thing from wanting to share my joy with someone. Women like to do that. That’s why I’m here. To find other excited people on the same journey.

    I never once asked for advice about my loved ones or anything else. I just asked for mfp friends.

    Where’s the app for folks who cant help giving unsolicited advice based on assumptions? (This goes to all the advisors, not just you, dazzler21).

    Thank you to those who have offered your support, personal experiences, and understanding!

  • PDXShannon
    PDXShannon Posts: 20 Member
    jenmarrs429 wrote: »
    First rule of diet club: Do not talk about diet club!

    People are jealous, insecure, and ashamed of their choices. Talking about diet, weight, and exercise is always rough territory.
    I think too that diet success makes everyone a little bit pompous. I got that way the first time I got thin, and saw friends do it too when they lost weight. It’s natural and you try not to let it seep into your conversations with loved ones but it does. Add to that their jealousy and shame and it is a recipe for disaster!

    Been through it, and am not talking this time!

    That is very insightful. Thank you so much. I will try to watch myself in the future and make sure I’m doing all I can to not seem pompous! I don’t feel that way...but maybe my sense of accomplishment and all the things I’ve learned about nutrition can make me seem that way. I love how I hold my head high now (even though I’m a long way from skinny) and how I feel comfortable in my skin, so I’m not going to stop that!

    However, I will try hard to watch my words to not hurt sensitive souls. Lol it has become clear that people don’t always want the truth even if they ask a question. I’ll just try to be more vague and supportive and encouraging when they ask how I combatted my fatigue or my chronic pain or why I look so good. Telling them I went organic then eventually vegan or that I took up jogging and hiking just causes problems! They explain why they could never do that...and things are weird from there.

    Maybe when people ask what I’m doing, I’ll just pretend nothing has changed at all and I don’t know what they mean, then ask about their new recliner or rug or whatever.
  • jenmarrs429
    jenmarrs429 Posts: 45 Member
    Just remember, you deserve to be proud of what you have accomplished. But tiptoeing around fragile egos is part of getting along in relationships.

    Be proud. I think you’re doing great.
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