Loved ones are tired of hearing about my progress and process.

PDXShannon

Hi there. I’ve lost 74 pounds in a slow, healthy way over 3 years. I have 31 more to go until I’m no longer considered medically overweight. My friends and loved ones seem pretty tired of hearing about my accomplishments and my fitness and nutrition. I just want someone to be happy for me or encourage me, but they seem to think I’m lecturing or judging them. They often try to discourage or sabotage me. It’s very frustrating. Life is not like The Oprah Show or The Biggest Loser, is it? There’s no standing ovation or confetti, it seems. Thank goodness for my increasing health and energy as my prizes! If you have the same struggles, or if you’re just getting started and would like some support, please add me as a friend. I would love to trade support, encouragement, frustrations, and tips with you. Let’s be happy for each other and keep going!

-S

pogiguy05

Well for one I assume you are doing this for you right. then be happy and keep it to yourself. No one around me really needs to lose weight and there is no way i can ever eliminate all the junks foods. So it is up to me and only me. I dont need anyone to tell me cause I already can feel it myself and I am who matters the most.

PDXShannon

Lol keep it to myself? Thanks for the support, pal.

pogiguy05

OK then you just go ahead and keep asking them and I am sure they will understand and love and support you. That is why you posted this here right.

SLLeask

Congratulations on your accomplishment, that's the way to do it, slow and steady and keep it off. As for family and friends, as I don't know you it's hard to judge, so please don't take this personally, but maybe you are going on about your successes a bit too much? Not everyone is interested in exercise or nutrition and maybe they are really happy for you but find it hard to be as enthusiastic as you all the time. As you say, life isn't Oprah, no confetti I'm afraid. Just have a think about how many times you have brought it up and put yourself in their shoes, if it was a different topic, would you be a tiny bit bored and a bit "Okay, okay already, yes you've done a great job, we've told you a million times, can we just talk about something else for once...?!!". Just something to think about. Even if you think you don't bring it up that often, maybe they do.

You are on this journey for yourself, you are right to expect the odd (even if insincere) pat on the back from close friends and family when they see you need one, but if you are expecting them to constantly be your confetti throwing cheerleaders after three years, then you are expecting too much from friendship.

PDXShannon

Hey folks. I get that they’re tired of it. Thank you for addressing it. I’m just here for the support they aren’t able to give. I’m not the one who brings it up. When someone asks about my day or asks why I’m looking so good, I just answer. I don’t want to go on about it to them.

I’m just here looking for people on the same journey. I’m not complaining or trying to change my loved ones. I have just realized I need the support of those with the same goals.

SLLeask

wabuss wrote: »

Hey folks. I get that they’re tired of it. Thank you for addressing it. I’m just here for the support they aren’t able to give. I’m not the one who brings it up. When someone asks about my day or asks why I’m looking so good, I just answer. I don’t want to go on about it to them.

I’m just here looking for people on the same journey. I’m not complaining or trying to change my loved ones. I have just realized I need the support of those with the same goals.

But, but, if they are asking you about it, then how are they not supporting you?? And I'm afraid to say, your first post definitely came across at complaining your family and friends were not supportive enough. If you are simply answering questions about your day, I am not sure why they would think you are lecturing or judging them. Maybe when they ask, just give shorter answers that cannot be misconstrued.

PDXShannon

Sigh. Most of the people I know are overweight and unhealthy. I have changed a lot physically and in the amount I can accomplish, and it makes them ask me a lot questions. When I tell them how I’m doing it, they begin defending their own lifestyle choices even though I’m not judging them at all. I’m just answering their questions about what I’ve changed.

Again...not looking to change them or be cheered every moment. I am just looking for support from people with similar goals who feel happy and encouraged when talking about health and fitness.

I’m very sorry my “complaining” annoyed you. I thought that’s what a fitness support room was for.

PDXShannon

Let me explain what brought this on...I’m happy tonight because I’m on day 10 of a 28-day planking challenge, and it has already taken 2 inches off my waist. This is a huge accomplishment, not because of the 2 inches, but because I can plank a whole 60 seconds after undergoing 2 open abdominal surgeries this year. I’m combatting 20 years of chronic pain and fatigue. It’s pretty exciting. I want to talk excitedly with someone about that. But I totally understand that my nears and dears are over it by now. So, I came here to be excited with other people who are overcoming things and happy about it...and maybe to get a little understanding from those who are confused by their loved ones sometimes. That’s all. I’m sorry I can’t seem to make my intentions clear. Peace and love, folks. I want to be happy for you too. No need to fuss and fight.

SLLeask

wabuss wrote: »

Sigh. Most of the people I know are overweight and unhealthy. I have changed a lot physically and in the amount I can accomplish, and it makes them ask me a lot questions. When I tell them how I’m doing it, they begin defending their own lifestyle choices even though I’m not judging them at all. I’m just answering their questions about what I’ve changed.

Again...not looking to change them or be cheered every moment. I am just looking for support from people with similar goals who feel happy and encouraged when talking about health and fitness.

I’m very sorry my “complaining” annoyed you. I thought that’s what a fitness support room was for.

I didn't say it annoyed me, because it really didn't, Why would it? I am just looking at what you posted with an outsiders viewpoint and I was actually trying to be supportive by pointing out something you may not have realised you were doing. Sometimes it's hard to accept that what you are saying might be worded a bit "This is what I'm doing and so should you be". You may not think you are being that way in the slightest, but maybe the other person feels that it is. Sorry for trying to offer you a neutral eye! "Sigh!"

cherys

Isn't this why we're all here? Come on here and shout it out. Everyone here will give virtual standing ovations and throw virtual (less messy) confetti!

RuNaRoUnDaFiEld

There's a monthly plank challenge group on the challenge board.
You should join it.

Congratulations on your weight loss

PDXShannon

Haha awesome cherys. I will totally throw confetti back at you! This stuff is hard work!

PDXShannon

RuNaRoUnDaFiEld wrote: »

There's a monthly plank challenge group on the challenge board.
You should join it.

Congratulations on your weight loss

Thank you sooo much!

RuNaRoUnDaFiEld

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10611664/60-minutes-per-month-plank-challenge-november-2017#latest

Here's the link.

PDXShannon

RuNaRoUnDaFiEld wrote: »

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10611664/60-minutes-per-month-plank-challenge-november-2017#latest

Here's the link.

Thanks again! I went and checked it out. There’s so much to aspire to there!

Vonny198334

Congrats, that's a great achievement!

Totally understand your point of view, even though my circumstances are different. I only talk to my husband about my progress/goals & one co-worker as they are the only folk I know who are trying to improve their physical shape & are delighted to have discussions about it all.

I've only been at this since 28th July this year, but for the first maybe.. 6 weeks? All I was doing was researching weightloss, putting it into action & then doing the same for fitness. I felt like I had nothing interesting to say to anyone else because I'd been down this rabbit hole! Slowly emerging out now & like you, I answer only if I'm asked. But I made some fab pals on here & it's nice to chat about these things together

Sounds like your planking is a huge success! You should definitely be proud of yourself, especially as your abdomen has been through such a lot with operations.

PDXShannon

Vonny198334 wrote: »

Congrats, that's a great achievement!

Totally understand your point of view, even though my circumstances are different. I only talk to my husband about my progress/goals & one co-worker as they are the only folk I know who are trying to improve their physical shape & are delighted to have discussions about it all.

I've only been at this since 28th July this year, but for the first maybe.. 6 weeks? All I was doing was researching weightloss, putting it into action & then doing the same for fitness. I felt like I had nothing interesting to say to anyone else because I'd been down this rabbit hole! Slowly emerging out now & like you, I answer only if I'm asked. But I made some fab pals on here & it's nice to chat about these things together

Sounds like your planking is a huge success! You should definitely be proud of yourself, especially as your abdomen has been through such a lot with operations.

Thank you so much, Vonny! These have been exciting years in my life. I’m getting ready to move to a city to a neighborhood that is a hub of nutritious food and fitness. If that doesn’t take off the last 30 pounds, I don’t know what will! I’m hoping I’ll make some new friends with similar healthy interests to share my triumphs with, then maybe it’ll be easier to just focus on shared interests with old friends at their comfort level.

It’s encouraging that you’ve found balance in knowing who to share your journey with. For now, I’m excited for the support of good people like you on mfp.

I need to work on an answer to give people when they ask how I’m losing the weight that doesn’t upset them. Maybe I’ll just tell them I eat my spinach like Popeye.

Congrats to you on sticking with it since July!

ladyhusker39

I get what you're saying. You're proud and excited at what you've accomplished and you want to celebrate it with people you care about. That's completely natural. Your family however, doesn't see it that way and it's grating on your relationship.

I've never been able to talk about my weight loss with my sister. I have a college degree, a successful marriage and a happy home, but I've always struggled with my weight. She has an unhappy home life, but she's always been tall and thin.

Now that I've lost weight I somehow feel like I'm stepping on her toes and throwing off the balance in our relationship. It's weird. I just want help figuring out how to buy clothes in the regular sized section which is much different and 10 times larger than the "big girls" department. I just gave up trying and don't talk about it anymore.

This is a very supportive community. You might need to do some searching to find the little corner of it that meets your needs. There are tons of groups that can be great for that. The general forums are more helpful in identifying where you might be struggling and providing helpful answers to problems. When a post like this comes up people go into problem solving mode and sometimes it can come off the wrong way to newbies. But you're completely welcome here and will get tons of support and help.

We'll also give you a kick in *kitten* when/if you need it

Congratulations on your accomplishment!

88olds

I never discuss diet or fitness outside the club.

There's too much noise already.

PDXShannon

ladyhusker39 wrote: »

I get what you're saying. You're proud and excited at what you've accomplished and you want to celebrate it with people you care about. That's completely natural. Your family however, doesn't see it that way and it's grating on your relationship.

I've never been able to talk about my weight loss with my sister. I have a college degree, a successful marriage and a happy home, but I've always struggled with my weight. She has an unhappy home life, but she's always been tall and thin.

Now that I've lost weight I somehow feel like I'm stepping on her toes and throwing off the balance in our relationship. It's weird. I just want help figuring out how to buy clothes in the regular sized section which is much different and 10 times larger than the "big girls" department. I just gave up trying and don't talk about it anymore.

This is a very supportive community. You might need to do some searching to find the little corner of it that meets your needs. There are tons of groups that can be great for that. The general forums are more helpful in identifying where you might be struggling and providing helpful answers to problems. When a post like this comes up people go into problem solving mode and sometimes it can come off the wrong way to newbies. But you're completely welcome here and will get tons of support and help.

We'll also give you a kick in *kitten* when/if you need it

Congratulations on your accomplishment!

Thank you. Yes. I do feel like things have been thrown off balance in my relationships. I appreciate your understanding.

I also appreciate people trying to give advice here. I just think they misunderstood my metaphorical post and seemed really hung up on my literally wanting applause and confetti. I don’t. I just meant I’m surprised by how much negativity can come out of my positive actions for my health. Like...my best friends literally waving bacon under my nose or sending me articles about how I’ll starve to death if I eat a plant-based diet.

I’m just lookin for people to be happy with. Thought mfp might be a good resource for that. I’ve already been friended by tons of great people because of my post. That’s what I was looking for. I’m not worried about the ones who misunderstood me. Their wanting to help was still appreciated.

Congrats on your accomplishments too! And ugh...at 180 pounds, transitioning from the plus size section to the regular section is tough! I’m the size of regular girls, I guess, but it sure doesn’t feel like I’m quite the right shape yet! My plus-sized clothes fall off now though. Clothes shopping is awful. Thank goodness for shoes!