Underhanded NSV!!!

Saksgirl1
Saksgirl1 Posts: 248
edited September 30 in Success Stories
I should start off by saying that my boyfriend is a total *kitten*, but he's a sexy *kitten*! He's totally into body building and has NOT been happy at the 20lbs that I gained last year! Needless to say, the compliments have NOT been rolling in from him lately!

Well, that was until this morning!!!

I told him that we should take a road trip tomorrow and go to IKEA (Yes, IKEA days happen when you live in a city that doesn't have one!) He said, "Maybe!" Since I really wanted to go, I decided to pounce on him until he said yes!! His reaction was totally unexpected! He started laughing, looked at me and said, "You're not that heavy anymore!"

Needless to say, tomorrow will be an IKEA day and I couldn't be happier because that was just the compliment I needed to put me in the best mood this morning!!!
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Replies

  • AudgePaudge
    AudgePaudge Posts: 537 Member
    Good for you!!
  • savethecat
    savethecat Posts: 290 Member
    Wow! Like you said, he kinda sounds like a jerk, but everyone needs love. Thank goodness he has you!

    Have a blast at IKEA and congratulations on your NSV!
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    umm, OK. Sounds like a keeper!
  • Oishii
    Oishii Posts: 2,675 Member
    Cute :happy:
  • otr12
    otr12 Posts: 632 Member
    Smart girl.
  • traceywaugh
    traceywaugh Posts: 144
    happpy day enjoy ikea
  • Saksgirl1
    Saksgirl1 Posts: 248
    Wow... Let me just say that last summer when I was in awesome shape, he was the PERFECT guy! He always complimented me, always showed me off to his friends, etc etc etc.

    Honestly, I wouldn't be 100% happy if he gained 20lbs of fat either...
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    Wow... Let me just say that last summer when I was in awesome shape, he was the PERFECT guy! He always complimented me, always showed me off to his friends, etc etc etc.

    Honestly, I wouldn't be 100% happy if he gained 20lbs of fat either...
    So he's perfect when you're perfect? How perfect! Let's hope you always stay perfect.
  • Saksgirl1
    Saksgirl1 Posts: 248
    Wow... Let me just say that last summer when I was in awesome shape, he was the PERFECT guy! He always complimented me, always showed me off to his friends, etc etc etc.

    Honestly, I wouldn't be 100% happy if he gained 20lbs of fat either...
    So he's perfect when you're perfect? How perfect! Let's hope you always stay perfect.

    It's not about being "perfect." He cares about the way he looks and his body... why shouldn't he want to be with someone who also cares about the way she looks....

    Even if I was single and wanted to meet a guy, I would rather have a guy who would go work out with me than someone who is going to eat pizza, drink beer and watch tv all day?

    Living a healthy lifestyle has become important to me again, why shouldn't it be important to the man I'm with? and vice versa?
  • otr12
    otr12 Posts: 632 Member
    It's not about being "perfect." He cares about the way he looks and his body... why shouldn't he want to be with someone who also cares about the way she looks....

    Even if I was single and wanted to meet a guy, I would rather have a guy who would go work out with me than someone who is going to eat pizza, drink beer and watch tv all day?

    Living a healthy lifestyle has become important to me again, why shouldn't it be important to the man I'm with? and vice versa?

    I like the way you think! It's so refreshing after reading women complaining about their men, followed by a gaggle of women saying "You need to leave him". You know that to be treated the way you want, you have to make yourself worthy of that treatment.
  • LoveMy3Boys
    LoveMy3Boys Posts: 562 Member
    I'm going to skip over the boyfriend part and move onto my love for Ikea; oh how I miss having one nearby. Enjoy your Ikea trip!
  • cat3nv
    cat3nv Posts: 389 Member
    While I understand it is not about being perfect, it should be about respect. He should not be an *kitten* to you if you are a little over weight. Encouragement is good, but harassing is not.

    Love is great ans we can not help who we love, and I would never tell you to leave him. THAT is none of my business, but you do need to ask yourself is he treating you the way you need to be treated. If not tell him how you need him to make you feel. You should be beautiful to him no matter what. The words he says to you, would you allow someone else to say those things to you??

    Good luck on your journey to a more healthy you
  • Saksgirl1
    Saksgirl1 Posts: 248
    It's not about being "perfect." He cares about the way he looks and his body... why shouldn't he want to be with someone who also cares about the way she looks....

    Even if I was single and wanted to meet a guy, I would rather have a guy who would go work out with me than someone who is going to eat pizza, drink beer and watch tv all day?

    Living a healthy lifestyle has become important to me again, why shouldn't it be important to the man I'm with? and vice versa?

    I like the way you think! It's so refreshing after reading women complaining about their men, followed by a gaggle of women saying "You need to leave him". You know that to be treated the way you want, you have to make yourself worthy of that treatment.

    Thank you!!!! I couldn't agree more... if you know what you want, you have to work to have the body to obtain what you want!
  • Ocarina
    Ocarina Posts: 1,550 Member
    Congratulations to you on your weight loss! You sound a lot more happier. It's not bad that your boyfriend wants you to look good but he sure doesn't say it in the healthiest way! Just sayin!
  • bigfatbino
    bigfatbino Posts: 136 Member
    Proof that chicks dig *kitten* ;)
  • babylemonade
    babylemonade Posts: 250 Member
    It certainly wasn't the worst thing a guy could say, calm down guys.

    However, my boyfriend never was dissatisfied with the way I looked. He wanted to start working out and I couldn't think of a reason not to do it as well. He finds me just as beautiful as before, compliments me just as much as before. The only change is, the sex is way better.
  • summerbert
    summerbert Posts: 292 Member
    20lbs is no biggie :) you will get back down there. I would just wonder about your future together if both of you are that way what happens when you can no longer control what happens with your body and you are not longer in peak form?
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Wow... Let me just say that last summer when I was in awesome shape, he was the PERFECT guy! He always complimented me, always showed me off to his friends, etc etc etc.

    Honestly, I wouldn't be 100% happy if he gained 20lbs of fat either...

    my boyfriend, now fiance, loved me 20 pounds heavier and still loves me 20 pounds lighter, i guess i am just with the wrong man...
  • Dawn1084
    Dawn1084 Posts: 17
    I actually wish my husband would have harped on me more about my weight as after having two kids it has gotten out of control. I mean I don't want him to be mean, call me names and make me cry but maybe offering something healthy for dinner when I was pregnant vs offering to go get take out! I also understand what you are saying about you not being happy if he were 20 lbs heavier and not just for appearance reasons. Right now I have been busting my butt in the gym and eating clean (most of the time) and my energy levels are through the roof, I feel better than I have felt in years! But my husband does not exercise nor eat healthy and he is always tired and sleepy and never wants to go do anything fun with me and the kids cause he wears out too quick. I want a husband who has the energy to play with our very active boys and someone who can help me with things around the house. So I wish he would exercise and eat better and lose maybe 20lbs....... the hot factor would just be a bonus to me!
  • mrmanmeat
    mrmanmeat Posts: 1,968 Member
    Proof that chicks dig *kitten* ;)

    lol seriously.
  • candb
    candb Posts: 238
    I actually wish my husband would have harped on me more about my weight as after having two kids it has gotten out of control. I mean I don't want him to be mean, call me names and make me cry but maybe offering something healthy for dinner when I was pregnant vs offering to go get take out! I also understand what you are saying about you not being happy if he were 20 lbs heavier and not just for appearance reasons. Right now I have been busting my butt in the gym and eating clean (most of the time) and my energy levels are through the roof, I feel better than I have felt in years! But my husband does not exercise nor eat healthy and he is always tired and sleepy and never wants to go do anything fun with me and the kids cause he wears out too quick. I want a husband who has the energy to play with our very active boys and someone who can help me with things around the house. So I wish he would exercise and eat better and lose maybe 20lbs....... the hot factor would just be a bonus to me!

    I tend to agree. I'm very fortunate that my husband loves me (and says he finds me as sexy) when I was over 200 pounds when we married, and when I got down to 140 before I got pregnant with my first. I'm under my wedding weight right now, but am quite a bit heavier than my lowest in our marriage. I love that he doesn't harp on me and accepts me for me BUT, I do wish he'd help push me a bit. He shows me some encouragement, but if I really want a day off or to cave on eating, he just wants me to "do what I want to do". That doesn't always help. But on the flip side, his lack of pushing has caused me to search within myself to find inner motivation.
  • Dawn1084
    Dawn1084 Posts: 17
    I actually wish my husband would have harped on me more about my weight as after having two kids it has gotten out of control. I mean I don't want him to be mean, call me names and make me cry but maybe offering something healthy for dinner when I was pregnant vs offering to go get take out! I also understand what you are saying about you not being happy if he were 20 lbs heavier and not just for appearance reasons. Right now I have been busting my butt in the gym and eating clean (most of the time) and my energy levels are through the roof, I feel better than I have felt in years! But my husband does not exercise nor eat healthy and he is always tired and sleepy and never wants to go do anything fun with me and the kids cause he wears out too quick. I want a husband who has the energy to play with our very active boys and someone who can help me with things around the house. So I wish he would exercise and eat better and lose maybe 20lbs....... the hot factor would just be a bonus to me!

    I tend to agree. I'm very fortunate that my husband loves me (and says he finds me as sexy) when I was over 200 pounds when we married, and when I got down to 140 before I got pregnant with my first. I'm under my wedding weight right now, but am quite a bit heavier than my lowest in our marriage. I love that he doesn't harp on me and accepts me for me BUT, I do wish he'd help push me a bit. He shows me some encouragement, but if I really want a day off or to cave on eating, he just wants me to "do what I want to do". That doesn't always help. But on the flip side, his lack of pushing has caused me to search within myself to find inner motivation.



    Sometimes being to nice can be a bad thing, my husband says he loves me no matter what, says if finds me attractive the way I am but that can sometimes make it ok to send your health on a downward spiral.
  • Tangerine302
    Tangerine302 Posts: 1,509 Member
    I'm glad you are doing this for you as well. It's good he is your motivation. At the same time, when you are young it is easy to bit fit and perfect. Later down the road your body changes, you still have to have the unconditional love there regardless if the perfect shape doesn't remain or it usually doesn't last. You can control weight, but some things you can't.
    Congratulations on the weight loss! Good for you! :)
  • Trig0r
    Trig0r Posts: 47
    Hey at least you know that he wasnt happy, would you rather that you didnt know and carried on gaining weight and not knowing he wasn't happy about it to then be dumped 100Lb down the line thinking that all was well until the point he dumped you?

    Men can be *kitten* as much as women can be b!tches but sometimes its good to be honest reagardless..
  • treehugginpam
    treehugginpam Posts: 1,129 Member
    I dated a guy who would say things in a totally blunt way just like that....if we were still dating, I could definitely see him saying the same thing. That personality grated on me, and after 2 years of dating I dumped him and am now dating a nice guy who makes me much happier. :) Still, even though he was blunt and often tactless, he did love me fully at a time when I was at my highest weight, so that says something. Would your boyfriend still love you if you gained 50 pounds? What if you got in a horrible car accident and weren't able to exercise or take care of yourself like you do now? How about when you start getting older and having saggy skin and wrinkles? Would you love HIM if any of those things happened to him? Just something to think about....if the love and affection isn't there in the worst of times, it's going to be a looooong, bumpy road.

    However, if you're just with him for fun and don't plan on the long term, who cares? *kitten* can be fun in the short term. ;)

    Congrats on your weight loss, and enjoy IKEA day! I find it hard to stay away from the Daim candy when I go there...yum!
  • Saksgirl1
    Saksgirl1 Posts: 248
    I almost feel like I'm being faulted for wanting a guy who is going to be honest with me????

    Let me just say this... I was married to a guy for 2 years who loved me at 240lbs and told me I was sexy on a daily basis. Within that 2 year period I was diagosed with the onset of type 2 diabetes - OBVIOUSLY I WAS NOT HEALTHY!

    Is this long-term - probably not. But after losing a TON of weight, it feels damn good to have the "hot guy" for the time being!

    Geeeez... I was just bragging about how good my NSV felt :(
  • Tangerine302
    Tangerine302 Posts: 1,509 Member
    The way I read it was that he had the fault. You know him more than any of us and called him an a. Just what you said about him not really supporting you made me want to give you the support. Sorry if it came across as you being faulted.
    Sometimes when we are living in the moment a lot of other things get overlooked. It's good to see things in a different sort of view from someone else's perspective.
    Anyway, congratulations to you! Just know that all of us care about you and don't want anyone to make you feel any less no matter what your weight is! :)
    You deserve to be treated the best!
  • Trig0r
    Trig0r Posts: 47
    Geeeez... I was just bragging about how good my NSV felt :(

    I have no idea what NSV means but I thought you were having a man rant, sorry lol..
  • treehugginpam
    treehugginpam Posts: 1,129 Member
    You SHOULD feel good about your NSV! I don't think anyone was disputing that.

    I guess in the end whether or not you're with a guy who gets upset when you gain weight or one who loves you at 240 and unhealthy doesn't really matter as far as your heath goes, because when it comes down to it YOU are the one who needs to motivate you. You could be with a guy who nags or gives you a disapproving stare when you gain or you could be with a nice guy who loves you no matter what you weigh, but neither of those guys makes a bit of a difference when it comes to taking care of yourself. You lost weight because YOU want to be healthy, not because some guy told you that you should.

    The person you wind up with in life should be warm, supportive, and loving no matter what you look like, but there's nothing at all wrong with enjoying "the hot guy" for the short term. :) Really, whatever guy you date has nothing to do with your weight loss goals anyway because ultimately you have to be your own motivation or it won't work. You obviously know this because you've made great progress so far though, so just keep it up!
  • alslau02
    alslau02 Posts: 64
    Proof that chicks dig *kitten* ;)

    lol seriously.

    I'm astounded. Now that I'm thinner, I have this crazy notion that I wished my husband would have said something. In reality, I probably would have felt hurt if he would have mentioned the extra pork. People need their own wake up calls, not warnings from the SO.

    In this particular case, if both people want to say mean things to each other about a bit of weight gain--good for them.
    For me-- Yay! for non-*kitten*.
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