want to go to gym but can't afford/have baby
cheeri0z
Posts: 8 Member
I'm 24 y.o and go to school part time. I have a psw certificate but haven't worked yet. I also have a 6 month old who I take care of from 7am-3pm and pretty much all day and night when his dad comes home from work at 3pm.
I really wanna join the gym . it would be $40 a month for a month to month membership and there's also a joining fee. i can't decide if I should take the plunge because my child's father is always complaning about having to look after our son and just wants to come home and relax. I feel bad but I'm still overweight a bit and have to lost about 15lbs to be my pre pregnancy weight. I don't want to join and then waste my money.
I don't know if I should save my money and just go to the workout room in my apartment
building which has an elliptical, treadmill, dumbells and rowing machine.
I haven't been motivated to go there and he is always putting me down about my weight and how I can't achieve anything.
I really wanna join the gym . it would be $40 a month for a month to month membership and there's also a joining fee. i can't decide if I should take the plunge because my child's father is always complaning about having to look after our son and just wants to come home and relax. I feel bad but I'm still overweight a bit and have to lost about 15lbs to be my pre pregnancy weight. I don't want to join and then waste my money.
I don't know if I should save my money and just go to the workout room in my apartment
building which has an elliptical, treadmill, dumbells and rowing machine.
I haven't been motivated to go there and he is always putting me down about my weight and how I can't achieve anything.
2
Replies
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I'm not going to comment on your relationship issues...
Does the gym you are considering have childcare? Is there another similarly priced gym that does?
Do you have any mom friends who you could trade childcare with to get some time to work out?
You don't have to join a gym to exercise--look on YouTube for workouts you can do at home while your baby is sleeping. Or bundle him into a stroller or baby carrier and go for a walk or run.
Exercise isn't necessary for weight loss--start by eating at a deficit.18 -
You could take baby for walks instead? gyms arent a necessity.
If you want to lose weight its all about how much - taking in less calories than you burn leads to weight loss.
I'm sorry your guy puts you down, I know perhaps its easy for me to say but just tell him to stop being a *kitten* (insert whatever suitable word there!). You are your own person, lose weight for you, not for anyone else.7 -
It sounds like you need to take a serious talk. Your boyfriend should be kind to you, and you both have an equal obligation to your child. Maybe you have to tell him how what he says, makes you feel, and that you think he isn't pulling his weight. (I did notice that you don't call him your boyfriend.)
If you want to join the gym, weigh what it costs (money and time and conflict) against what you get, how much more than the gym in your building - not just the equipment, but the social aspect, maybe you most of all want a timeout from being a caregiver or being at home?
To lose weight, you just have to eat less.7 -
What mitch16 said. Also, what's wrong with the workout room in your apartment? Is safety an issue? Because if not, half the battle of working out at a gym is getting to the gym. Maybe more than half. Best of luck.7
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You have a lot going on! And a baby puts stress on a relationship! I say forgo the gym and concentrate on eating well first. I lost 25 lbs through diet alone, and then added in walking. If you can do videos/YouTube at home, that's better. While gyms are nice, you also have to factor in the time to get there and get home. With your time crunch, may be easier to do stuff at home when the baby is asleep....or early morning, after he's had breakfast, and can just hang out in a bouncy seat while you get 20 mins of exercise. Hang in there...it does get easier!4
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It sounds like there are multiple issues here. Let's address each separately.
If losing weight is the only issue, remember: Weight loss is done in the kitchen. Take in less calories than you're using each day.
As for joining the gym, it sounds like the apartment building workout room has all you need to tone up.
But it also sounds like you need to get out of the house, away from the baby, and be around other adults for a while each day to keep your sanity. If that's the case, join the gym and tell 'daddy' to suck-it-up and watch HIS kid for a while each day.8 -
Don't get a membership and not use it. Keep doing what you are doing to stay the course with your food intake and your calorie deficit, this will be your main way to lose fat.
That said, as others stated, go on walks with your little guy, and there are plenty of at home things you can do. YouTube; Fitness Blender; body weight routines like the ones below
- You are your own gym
- Convict Conditioning
- Nerd fitness beginner body weight routine
- StrongCurves Booty-Ful
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I'm 24 y.o and go to school part time. I have a psw certificate but haven't worked yet. I also have a 6 month old who I take care of from 7am-3pm and pretty much all day and night when his dad comes home from work at 3pm.
I really wanna join the gym . it would be $40 a month for a month to month membership and there's also a joining fee. i can't decide if I should take the plunge because my child's father is always complaning about having to look after our son and just wants to come home and relax. I feel bad but I'm still overweight a bit and have to lost about 15lbs to be my pre pregnancy weight. I don't want to join and then waste my money.
I don't know if I should save my money and just go to the workout room in my apartment
building which has an elliptical, treadmill, dumbells and rowing machine.
I haven't been motivated to go there and he is always putting me down about my weight and how I can't achieve anything.
To lose weight you need a calorie deficit. You can get that by consuming fewer calories, burning more calories through exercise or a combination. You don't have to join a gym to lose weight.
Enter your information into MFP and choose a goal no more than 1 lb a week. .Losing 5 lb a week might be more reasonable. Log what you currently eat and drink as accurately as you can. Make small changes over time.
Protein, fats and fiber can help you feel more satisfied.
You can exercise by walking, running, biking, exercise videos, dancing, swimming, roller skating, etc. There are tons of free workout videos on you tube.
If you already have access to a workout room and no extra money or time it makes sense to use that for now. Put your money toward child care or savings to get a better living situation for yourself.
You do have significant issues with your child's father putting you down and not sharing in child care. I'd think about the value of that relationship long term.
Look for mom groups in your area. Check out programs at local churches or libraries.
See if a friend of family member could help you out sometimes.2 -
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so much wrong here:
1. He shouldn't be putting you down about your weight because that is rude, inconsiderate and shows he doesn't really care about you. If he was concerned about your weight, he wouldn't be ridiculing you for it, he would be supporting you.
2. Most studies show that weight loss is based on diet, not working out, so start there. That being said, there are like a million an done health benefits to physical activity, a drop in your weight is just not one of them.
3. Do workouts that include the baby, go out walking or jogging with the baby in a stroller. Join a mom's walking club or something. Perhaps even more than just the calorie burn you can get some support.
And if the baby daddy is still a jerk, leave him. You don't need that.5 -
Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred or Jillian Michaels Ripped in 30. Half an hour in the comfort of your own home and they probably cost about $10 each. I've lost over 80 pounds with those DVDs and of course watching my food. A local library might even have them.1
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Many gyms, the YMCA for example have discounts for people who cannot afford the regular gym price and they also have child care while you are working out. Call your local gyms and ask them if they have discounts for students or for people who can't afford the full cost.
And the baby's father.....it's his kid, too. Sorry, but the guy is an immature jerk.3 -
Additionally, to make a huge difference at a gym you need to REALLY know what you're doing. How often do you see people lazily pedaling a stationary bike while reading or spending an hour on an elliptical and not breaking a sweat? If you get one of the DVDs I mentioned (or any DVD) all you do is follow along and they tell you exactly what to do. Very simple and there's no travel time/bad weather to deal with so you're more likely to do it.2
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Does the school you're attending have a fitness center and/or childcare/childshare options2
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I’m with mitch16 and LZminor....I also won’t comment on your relationship...you will figure that part out on your own. As for your apartment gym...I live in an apartment. A few months ago I visited about 4 gyms because I was thinking about joining. One of them has childcare. I decided on none of them because I have a workout facility where I live and I utilize it frequently. I have 3 small children and I have them all day by myself so I narrowed down my workout option times:
1. Before they get up 5am-7am
2. After they go to bed - after 7/8pm
3. While they nap - between 10-11 am or 2-3pm
4. While they are running around. Lol! (This isn’t fun but it’s doable)
The last two options are in the apartment so some days I just have to do Pinterest, YouTube or use my creativity.
I wanted a strict schedule and to workout at the same time everyday because that’s what I used to do. I FINALLY accepted that’s impossible for me and my situation so it fluctuates from day to day and the important thing is just that I get it done.
It does get easier my dear. Know your options and go with one. Hang in there.
Oh and I forgot to mention I do often, when the weather permits, push them around in the complex in their stroller. They like it and I love the leg work. Winner!3 -
I've been both the stay at home mom and the only one who works. While I can completely understand your partner needing to come home and unwind for a bit, he needs to respect that you need a break too. And YOU need to verbalize that you need this. For your health, physically AND mentally, it'll make you a better mom and a better partner. If we aren't taking care of ourselves, we just can't take as good of care of our families.
That being said, set your activity to sedentary, buy a food scale, log accurately, and re-evaluate your weight in 6 weeks to see if you're losing as expected. At 6 months old, my nugget LOVED "baby squats" and "baby lunges". Its a twofer. Workout for you, bonding for you and babes.
Feel free to add me if you want a friend who has been there, done that, and overcome it6 -
You have a lot going on! And a baby puts stress on a relationship! I say forgo the gym and concentrate on eating well first. I lost 25 lbs through diet alone, and then added in walking. If you can do videos/YouTube at home, that's better. While gyms are nice, you also have to factor in the time to get there and get home. With your time crunch, may be easier to do stuff at home when the baby is asleep....or early morning, after he's had breakfast, and can just hang out in a bouncy seat while you get 20 mins of exercise. Hang in there...it does get easier!
Having a baby with someone who takes no responsibility for said child puts a lot of stress on a relationship...5 -
As a stay-at-home mom, who works full time from home I understand the difficulty finding time to workout. But, there are things that you can do. The YMCA offers child care. So, if you have one of those around you, and you really want to join a gym, that may be a better option than the one you are considering. You could invest the money you would spend on a gym in a jogging stroller -- this is what I did. I bought a used stroller from craigslist. It was still expensive, but has been worth every penny. You could invest in a BeachBodyOnDemand membership. That gives you a lot of workouts to choose from and you do them right in front of your computer. You can workout while the baby naps. If I had the option of a free gym, that's what I would use. I'd put the baby in a baby carrier or bouncer and bring the baby to the gym with me while he naps.
You have to figure out what will work best for you and then just stick with it. More important than working out is making sure your diet is right. Working out is good for your heart and important for your health, but doesn't make a huge difference with weight loss.2 -
I had a baby last year it was hard to get motivated and I'm sure even harder if no one supported me. I found it hard to get to the gym too with the baby so I worked out at home. I do Fitness Blender workouts on YouTube and go on walks. Track your calories too. Some days I wouldn't finish a workout because the baby needed me but I kept doing it as much as I could. Just do what you can each day and if it doesn't go perfect then tomorrow is a new day. As for your boyfriend he seems to have expected you would go back to what you looked like before the baby maybe. Tell him that is only possible for celebrities because they are rich and can afford chefs and trainers and nannies. If he wants you to be healthy and lose weight tell he needs to watch the baby or you you'll have to pay for a sitter. Dads don't babysit they should parent their kids. Good luck.3
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What is it you want to do in the gym? If it's use equipment similar to that in the workout room, I'd see if you can use the workout room consistently before spending the money to join the gym. I'd also check on options at your school, as others said -- the schools I went to had great workout facilities and they were free for students.
The other benefit of the workout room is that it's going to be less time-consuming. The relationship issues, as others said, are for you to figure out, but your child has two parents, you don't have to be the only one taking responsibility for child care.
For weight loss, there are lots of things you can do while at home (especially if no one but the baby is around) or with the baby (walks and so on).1 -
Weight loss is 80% diet, 20% exercise. You don't need a gym to lose weight. You can sit in a chair 24/7 and still lose weight almost as fast as someone who exercises regularly. Just correctly count your calories with a "sedentary" lifestyle goal, and the weight will come off.I don't know if I should save my money and just go to the workout room in my apartment
building which has an elliptical, treadmill, dumbells and rowing machine.
If you have access to these things why do you need a gym? Honestly I think you might be making excuses. I did the same thing, so try not to take offense. 15 pounds can be lost in only 1-3 months with just dieting and no exercising.I haven't been motivated to go there and he is always putting me down about my weight and how I can't achieve anything.
The guy sounds like a complete jerk to be honest. He should be motivating you to lose it, and offer to exercise/diet with you to help. I agree with the other person that losing the pregnancy weight really isn't the biggest problem. You should lose it for YOU, but not for him. If you're husband treats you bad just because you gained a mere 15 pounds after child birth, then he's the biggest problem. Not you.
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I take my little one on a 3 to 5 mile walk/jog everyday, I do it around her nap time that way she falls asleep and I don’t have to worry about her getting fussy and it gives us both fresh air. Although my husband doesn’t mine watching her when he gets home from work i feel guilty about leaving because i know he’s tired so I feel ya!1
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I take my little one on a 3 to 5 mile walk/jog everyday, I do it around her nap time that way she falls asleep and I don’t have to worry about her getting fussy and it gives us both fresh air. Although my husband doesn’t mine watching her when he gets home from work i feel guilty about leaving because i know he’s tired so I feel ya!
^^^THIS! When my girls were younger (6-12 months old) this worked like a charm.1 -
I'm sorry to hear you are being treated as anything less than awesome. The fact that you are pondering all these things after just having a baby shows that you are strong & ready to make a change. I started by joining my local park & rec department. It's cheaper than a gym & I've made soo many friends. After my divorce I felt like crap & showed up to class sad often. However, I've now taken the additional step to join a small gym & spurge on the trainer, since I've tried in my living room for years.
I got a bonus at work & pu a hold on my extra money going to other expenses so I can pay for 6 months of training & classes. F45 classes & training. Ive made more progress in 3 months than on my own.
But if I were you, I'd start building my esteem & strength back/meeting new people in the more cost effective way of fun park & rec classes. I really enjoy Werq & Zumba.
I was in a slump & looking for motivation today & came across your post.
Thank you for reminding me of why I started this path. Good luck to you!! You WILL do this!4 -
Babies don’t stay six months old. In a few months or a year you will be in a better position to commit to a club membership.
For accomplishing goals, I suggest setting small (private) weekly goals and track your progress.
Considering this guys track record it’s your call if you choose to share your successes with him.1 -
I've found gym equipment to be one of those things that you can easily buy 2nd hand for a song. A bit like camping gear, people get all excited about fitness and it fizzles out quickly for many of them. So I've managed to put together a perfectly good home gym setup of near new equipment for peanuts. And I'm not even talking hard bargaining or rude offers.. Just people who got over it when they realized it would take a bit of work and now they just want the space back in their appartment. lol.0
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