HELP!

gracefullyme789
gracefullyme789 Posts: 3 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I have been struggling for years to lose weight. I bought a FitBit in 2015 and it has been off an on since then. At this moment I am bigger than I was in 2015. I did WW for 6 months and it took me 5 months to lose 10 lbs and gained it all back in 2 months. I am horrible at staying strong with what I eat and working out.

When it comes to eating--I have always been an emotional eater and a bored eater. I recently have got better about not eating a night. My husband works 3rd and I work 1st so most of the time it is just me and it is really hard to take accountability by myself. I have friends who are trying to lose weight but they are able to do it in a way that I just am unable to keep up on my own. If I am watching what I eat and trying to keep up with calories I get frustrated because I feel like I can't eat what I want. That frustration over time just builds up and I binge. I feel like I am being judged when I eat something by friends and my husband which then throws me into being upset. Then I go back to emotional eating. There are also times where I honestly don't realize what I have chose to eat until after I have pretty much finished it. Then the guilt. Me and my husband don't eat great. We have an extremely tight budget and get paid every 2 weeks. Fruit and veggies don't last 2 weeks! And I have to get stuff that will satisfy him, make sure he is full and it will go farther (usually some types of bread, pasta) We don't sit down at a table and eat due to not having enough room for a table where we are at and his schedule. He would rather eat fast food most the time than anything else and has a limited number of things he really likes. Of course all of them are bad for us. I go to work at 7 get home at 5, make dinner, get him up, we spend just a little bit of time together before he has to leave and then I am tired and ready for bed.

When it comes to working out--I work 9 hours a day, 5 days a week. I clean, cook, take care of the animals and make sure my husband has everything he needs. We don't get much time together so when we have a chance we take it. Where we live at the moment, the room my treadmill is in is either super cold or hot. Very rarely is it comfortable. And even when I use the treadmill I struggle to be on it for 10 minutes before I am out of breath.

I feel like my husband isn't as attracted to me anymore. I feel like I see it when I eat around him (which causes me to try to hide my eating), when I try to put on jeans that don't fit anymore, when I go a day a don't work out. I feel so defeated.

I know I make excuses for myself but when I come home cook, clean and do other things for an hour or two after work plus do bills then spend time with my husband I am tired and ready to relax. When I was working out daily I literally was doing something from the time my feet hit the floor to the time I went to bed.

Other than hiring someone to follow me around and make me aware and help me be accountable :smile: what are some tips that you guys use to stay on track? I don't want to spend anymore money on trying to lose weight. I have to do it.

I need some help! So tired of being miserable on or off a diet!

PS. I needed to rant...I keep it all in which helps with the vicious cycle!

Replies

  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    Stop using food to handle emotions. Instead, plan, and aim, to feed yourself regularly and reliably, enjoy your food, and find other ways to deal with emotions. You can eat what you want, just eat less. Ask your husband what he wants to eat, and let him do some cooking too. You don't have to buy food the day you get money. I shop twice per week. You can buy frozen vegetables, dry things like pasta and rice keep forever, and low-perishables like potatoes and carrots keep a couple of weeks. If you just use the treadmill to walk on; can't you walk outside?
  • Unknown
    Unknown
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  • ugofatcat
    ugofatcat Posts: 385 Member
    You need to figure out what is going on with the emotional eating. If you can't afford/don't have time for a therapist, look into journaling and meditation, or finding an online support group.

    If you are counting calories you don't have to eliminate anything. For the next 3 weeks, log everything you eat, using a food scale. Then take an average of what you are eating and cut back. For example, if you are averaging 3,000 calories a day, cut down to 2,500.

    Don't worry about exercise for now, just focus on getting the eating under control. However, exercise can be therapeutic and a way to cope of stress. Instead of going on the treadmill to you are out of breath, set it to a low pace (2.5-3.0) and watch TV or listen to music or a podcast.
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,575 Member
    You need to find another method of stress relief and stop looking for something outside yourself to solve the problem. A Fitbit is just a method of obtaining data. It doesn't do any of the work for you.

    If you want to lose weight you must stop overeating. That's a fact that can't be ignored. Work on that. Don't look for the perfect diet or the perfect workout. Just stop eating too much.

    When you are stressed or depressed, try something other than food to soothe yourself. Yoga, breathing techniques (something SO easy and effective), call a friend, pray, sing, dance, use that treadmill, whatever works best for you.

    Best of luck to you.
  • ugofatcat
    ugofatcat Posts: 385 Member
    Also if you are stressed about your fruits and veggies, frozen is just a good as fresh (as long as there are no additives). You could also do canned fruits/veggies. Try to get fruit in it's own juices and low sodium vegetables. You can also rinse veggies in a strainer in the sink until water runs clear to cut back on the sodium.
  • vhepp5
    vhepp5 Posts: 55 Member
    I understand I'm an emotional eater!! I can stay on track all day and then come evening I'm upset about something and I eat eat eat. It's a very tough road
  • ccruz985
    ccruz985 Posts: 646 Member
    Why can't you each be responsible for your own food?
  • toxikon
    toxikon Posts: 2,383 Member
    edited December 2017
    Sorry to hear about your situation.

    It honestly sounds like you and your husband could use some couples counselling, it doesn't sound like you're happy in your relationship, weight problems aside.

    Here's some advice.

    Tight budget: Fast food is really not worth it, it's expensive and low in nutrients. Look into meal-prepping. Pick out 2 or 3 freezer-friendly recipes each week (casseroles, soups, stews, pulled pork, chili, curries, pasta dishes, quiche, breakfast sandwiches, wraps, roasted veggies with a protein) and write down the ingredients you need to make big batches of them. Once a week on your day off, buy your ingredients, cook up all your meals, log them as Recipes in MFP, and divide them into single servings. Put some in the fridge, some in the freezer. You'll have convenient, cheap meals available any time you want them, and you'll know the calorie count of each serving AND you only have to cook once a week! Cheap plastic tupperware is available on Amazon.

    For recipe ideas: budgetbytes.com, skinnytaste.com, allrecipes.com

    Working out: Not necessary for weight loss, especially if your lifestyle is already quite active. If you do want to work out, you could go for walks (nice way to destress), do bodyweight exercises at home, etc.

    Late-night eating: Intermittent fasting works great for me in this regard. I know that I enjoy having a big dinner and some late night snacks, so I eat lighter earlier in the day. I skip breakfast, eat a 300-400 calorie lunch, then reserve most of my calories for the evening.
  • sijomial
    sijomial Posts: 19,809 Member
    You are looking in the wrong place to successfully lose weight - exercise is very much the minor player compared to how much you eat.

    If you are busy and moving you are burning calories, a good thing not a negative.

    If you have time to prepare and eat too much food (gaining weight) you certainly have enough time to prepare and eat less food. That really kills the too busy to lose weight arguments doesn't it?

    You have a tight food budget - eating less is going to help not hinder.

    Look at exercise as something you do for health and fitness, not for weight loss.

    You can eat what you want to eat, just less of it. (But of course you need to keep in mind your overall nutritional needs.) There's no reason you can't eat bread and pasta and lose weight, portion control is key.

    I made excuses for 20 years and stayed overweight until I decided to take responsibility for how much I ate - it's not easy but you and you alone are responsible for every mouthful and that needs to be a conscious thing until the habit is established. Start with whatever motivates you but then back it up with commitment.


  • janejellyroll
    janejellyroll Posts: 25,763 Member
    I decided that being in my goal weight range was more important to me than the things that were preventing me from being there. It's something that I had to want for myself and until I truly wanted it and was willing to make the changes that required, I don't think I could have gotten there.
  • ipmac22
    ipmac22 Posts: 74 Member
    First, it's awesome that you are being open now. We all have to start somewhere (sometimes we have to start a few times). I know fresh fruit doesn't last well, but frozen veggies can be super cheap and great to use. My biggest suggestion is planning your meals in advance. Some tips for you that may help you or at least give you some ideas.

    -Use your lunch break to walk so that you can sneak in activity during the day.
    -Meal prep or plan to make the best of saving time and money and make smarter food choices.
    -Make sure you track your food so even if you are still eating foods that you feel guilty for eating, you are more mindful of how much you are eating. Aim to eat smaller amounts so that it will still fit into your calories for the day.
    -Come up with things to do/have instead of eating or a list of go-to guilt-free snacks. I can't tell you how many times I felt snacky but knew I wasn't hungry, so I painted my nails, or made a cup of tea instead. If I know I'm not actually hungry, I have go-to activities (reading, finding new shows, at-home yoga, walk with dog, painting nails, calling a friend, etc) to take my mind off of it and rarely still even care by the time I'm done.
    -Drink lots of water. You might find if you are filling yourself with enough water, you may not be as inclined to eat out of boredom.

    Hope this helps! You can make small steps to. Just make sure you are making positive changes and you'll start to feel better.
  • RLBansonNoond1990
    RLBansonNoond1990 Posts: 29 Member
    If you want someone on the app you can talk to - feel free to add me :smile:

    I'm an emotional/bored eater, and with my husband working nights, and me days - I don't see him much, and when we do get time off together we're usually too tired to cook/eat sensibly and end up going for a take away.

    But I'm trying to make a positive change, and hopefully it will get easier - because right now I just want to eat everything!

    Stay strong!
  • maybe1pe
    maybe1pe Posts: 529 Member
    I agree with other and would say try focusing on your eating. I lost the first 80 lbs without ever exercising.

    Like @ugofatcat says track how you currently eat and make a cut back from there.

    For me I choose to focus on getting my eating under control before I ever even considered adding exercise because making one change at a time helps me with adherence.

    Also, try to still eat the things you like just eat less of them. This was probably the MOST IMPORTANT thing I did on my journey. I still would have a cookie, just 1 instead of 10. I still eat ice cream, just a serving instead of 2 or 3. My personal take on it is that if it fits in my calories I can have it. It's helped me make smarter choices. Sometimes I want it and it just doesn't work in my calories for that day so I choose not to eat it right that second.

    I used to be an emotional eater and something that helped me was stopping myself and asking "am I truly hungry or am I bored or upset?" and if the answer wasn't true hunger or if I wasn't sure, I forced myself to walk away... it was hard at first but got easier and was beneficial in the long run.

    Good luck!
  • kgirlhart
    kgirlhart Posts: 5,162 Member
    Stop worrying so much about what you eat, and concentrate more on how much you are eating. You don't have to suddenly start eating different foods in order to lose weight. You can eat the same foods you have been eating, you just have to make those foods fit into your calorie goal. There is nothing wrong with eating breads and pasta or even fast foods. Although if you are on a tight budget then fast food is probably not the best idea. I don't do intermittent fasting, but it might be something to look into. I do use about half of my daily goal for breakfast and lunch and save the other half for dinner and a snack or dessert. I like to eat more in the evening so I make sure I have plenty of calories available. For the boredom eating I would recommend you pre-log an item before you eat it. Sometimes seeing how many calories something has will make me change my mind about eating it if I'm not really hungry and if I am really hungry I still might decide that I don't want to spend that many calories on it and I might chose something else. Logging what I eat on mfp has really helped me with accountability. I used to do a lot of "secret" eating and now I don't. I log everything I eat so I cannot hide what I have eaten and pretend it didn't happen. You might also come up with a hobby that keeps your hands busy so you cannot eat while you are doing it. I know several people who knit. As for the emotional eating it might be good to get some counseling for that.
  • H_Ock12
    H_Ock12 Posts: 1,152 Member
    You're on a tight budget...if you purchase less food, there will be less food to eat. Plan your meals (meat, frozen veggies, etc...) based on what is on sale when you get paid and go to the grocery. Then cook and portion that out into containers that you can easily pull out of the fridge/freezer, pop in the microwave to heat and eat. If you are mindful about what you buy, you will be more mindful about what you're eating. Purchase and cook enough that if your husband chooses to eat it, there's plenty. If he chooses not to eat it, let him stop on his way to work and get his own fast food. If he doesn't eat it...the meals will stretch farther for you!

    Find a hobby you can do when it's not mealtime and you feel bored/emotional eating approaching...go for a walk, go to bed, anything to occupy yourself so you don't reach for food...remembering that you purchased a limited amount.

    You can also think of it this way...purchasing less food leaves more money for a hobby you enjoy, new clothes, a savings account, etc...

    Set up your bills to automatic draft and make a cleaning schedule that includes your husband doing some of the work during the day when he's home. That will free up more time and you may feel less stressed.
  • maybe1pe
    maybe1pe Posts: 529 Member
    On the hobby note. I like cross stitching and knitting, I find them not only relaxing after a long day, but I can't eat while doing them.
  • gracefullyme789
    gracefullyme789 Posts: 3 Member
    Thank you all for your help and support! I am going to start again but try to go about it with a different mind frame. :)

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