How did you know.....

we both put a lot of damn effort in...i wasn't about to think i was wasting my time. Plus he loves the hell out of me. He also told me that if I said no (way before he proposed) than the relationship was over so I had better be prepared to love him for life. He has a son that we have full custody of, and OUR son has brain damage, so yeah, I do put a lot of effort in...but so does he. we've been together for 4 years, engaged for 1. we're getting married in 2014.

I woke up next to him one day and I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. It's not peaches and cream, but we have a lot of fun together and we both love each other very much.

Well you don't get right away married if he proposes to you. It's a promise. A promise which you can also break in the engagement-time. *oh so unromantic I know *

I'm not married ... nor engaged .... however I've always felt if I question the idea of being with that one person for the rest of my life and I couldn't see it or tell myself yes I can then it was time to re-evaluate the situation. I did come close to taking the first step and I couldn't see myself with him. Forever. Loved him but it wasn't right.

Marriage isn't for everyone ... and take the time to talk it through. Doesn't mean you love each other less, just means you're not ready to take that step.

Easier said then done, but talk about your feelings .... if you don't think talking would be successful with just you two, invite a third-mutual party (ie counselor/minister) and help address the thoughts and get sight of your goals.

usually it's the women talking about marriage the man saying "whoa, slow down" LOL
but I knew I wanted to marry my husband after the first year of dating... even though he waited 6 years to ask me.

You have to be able to see yourself with him in the LONG future... when you're both retired and old sitting in the kitchen haivng your morning coffee or whatever and still feel like you can look accross the table and think "I still love this man" ♥

It's not a perfect relationship (that's unheard of!) but we love each other & support each other. We love to spend time together.

You just know... don't know how to describe it, but we knew after three or four dates. We've been married for 22 years this month:-)

I didn't get married until I was 37. So, basically, I had 20 years of dating *kitten* under my belt. When I met my husband, I KNEW. I couldn't imagine life without him.

My advice to my step-daughters has always been this (I have 3 ranging in age from 30 - 37):

1. If you have to ask, it's not him.

2. You can't meet Mr. Right if you are with Mr. Right Now.

I think it's normal in a long term relationship for some people to have that "is this all there is" moment.....but you have to figure out why you're having that in the first place. Relationships are hard and they take lots of work. The trick, in my opinion, is finding that person you're willing to work hard with, and more importantly, work hard for. I was happily, independently single when my fiance' came around. I had known him for many many years before as just a friend. But after about two weeks of one on one dating, I, the girl who thought I'd be happier single, realized that he was a man I didn't want to live without.

That's not to say it's easy. As I'm sure you know. You have to figure out what makes you happy, and know that only you can make yourself happy.

A lot of people think the grass is greener on the other side.....I think that it's all grass and it all has to be mowed...I just know I want to mow my grass with my fiance'... :laugh: because plainly: life would pretty much suck without him...

Agreed. Marriage isn't for everyone, even when you think the person you're with is for you. And there is absolutely no need to rush into it. I think a lot of people base those decisions on "timing". Like "we've been together for X years. It's TIME, isn't it?" You are 23. Trust me, there is plenty of time.

I have been with my boyfriend for 6 1/2 years. We are not married. I love him, and it's likely we'll spend the rest of our lives together, but I'm still not thinking about marriage. I haven't decided if it's for me yet.

For me I asked myself a few questions:

#1- How would her leaving or dying affect my life? I wouldn't know how to live it without her.
#2- Would she be there for me if I were on my death bed and take care of me if I can't do it myself? Check.
#3- Are our goals in life similar (kids, things in common...ect)? Check.
#4- is there passion and love there? Check.
#5- Does she seem like she'd make a good wife/mom? Check.
#6- Am I ready to put aside ME and become US. In marriage two become one, am I ready for that? Yes.

23 is awfully young to get married. If you question whether it is right or not, then you are probably just not ready to get married. I've been married for 21 years and I don't recall ever questioning it. We were in love and didn't want it to end. Best wishes to you. This would be a good thing to pray about for guidance! :flowerforyou:

I just knew a few days after we met that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. 17 years later, I sometimes joke "what was I thinking?"

If you are feeling any kind of hesitation, you really need to think about what you want in life.

Life is too short to spend it un happy, or second guessing yourself!!!

Best Wishes~Rhonda

if it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. just my $0.02

I second that!

Ditto! If you can't say YES You're the guy I want to spend every day and night with.. then he's not "the ONE". (personal opinion)

Oh jeez. How I wish I would have posted this question on a website like this four years ago when I was going through it. I was dating a guy who was sweet, and gentle, and loved me. And he proposed to me. And I asked myself, is this what it is supposed to be like? And I didn't have much self-esteem at that time, so I said well.. he loves me. I really care about him too. Let's do this thing.

We were engaged for a year and a half, during which time we bought a house. Everything was fine.... Just, fine. Not perfect. Not exciting and magical. Just fine.

We got married and our wedding was beautiful. But I was terrified walking down the aisle. TERRIFIED.

Anyway, I ended up leaving him after about a year. I had lost 100 pounds during the year we were married because I used working out as a way to escape spending time with him. It wasn't that he was horrible, it was just that I was sick of him.

He is a really nice guy. But he wasn't the guy for me.

After getting divorced I met my current boyfriend who I've been with for a year and a half now. He's amazing... It's just... different. I just know that it was right, leaving my ex husband. So he can find someone who will make him happy.

Anyway, everyone's situation is different. You just reminded me of the way I was.... unsure of whether or not it was supposed to feel different.

I think I knew pretty fast with other guys I had dated I could always picture myself with someone else.... with my fiance I dont wan tto picture myself with anyone else lol and I cant He's everything I need and want in a husband and a friend. I cant imagine being with anyone else. We know eachother better than our best friends know us lol