weight loss journey making me obsessive

echastee92
echastee92 Posts: 48 Member
in Motivation and Support
It's like I am painfully aware of my desire to lose weight all the time. I know tracking my calories is good for my journey, but I feel so obsessive. Every weigh-in, every food tracked, every hour of everyday, I am painfully aware of how far I have to go. I want to lose about 80 more pounds and it's not going to be easy. I just wish I could do it without constantly reminding myself how disgusting I feel.

Replies

  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    Try to shift focus to "today", sometihng like this: Today, just today, I'm going to follow my plan, and I have planned enough, but not too much food, food I like and want to eat.

    Exercise may make you more aware of your body, and that can be painful, mentally, if you don't feel comfortable in your own skin. Reframe that too: Think about how your body does exactly what it's supposed to do, that it serves you patiently, tells you if something is wrong, but also what it needs to feel good, and that it's your responsibility and privilege to take care of it in any way you want.
  • braveshine
    braveshine Posts: 6 Member
    This is my mentality all the time and I hate it. I try to find ways to distract myself, but my mind always wanders back to it. I find myself poking at my sides when I sit or frequently running to the mirror to shift and turn in different positions. Emotionally, it's exhausting. You're not alone though. We all go through it at some point. Voicing your discomfort out loud can sometimes make all the difference.
  • echastee92
    echastee92 Posts: 48 Member
    kommodevaran wrote: »
    Try to shift focus to "today", sometihng like this: Today, just today, I'm going to follow my plan, and I have planned enough, but not too much food, food I like and want to eat.

    Exercise may make you more aware of your body, and that can be painful, mentally, if you don't feel comfortable in your own skin. Reframe that too: Think about how your body does exactly what it's supposed to do, that it serves you patiently, tells you if something is wrong, but also what it needs to feel good, and that it's your responsibility and privilege to take care of it in any way you want.
    I like that. I used to say that instead of hating your body for how it looks, love your body for what it does. If you have all your limbs and you can walk, then you are very fortunate for just that alone nevermind all the other wonderful things our bodies enable us to do. But still, sometimes, it gets lost on me.
    braveshine wrote: »
    This is my mentality all the time and I hate it. I try to find ways to distract myself, but my mind always wanders back to it. I find myself poking at my sides when I sit or frequently running to the mirror to shift and turn in different positions. Emotionally, it's exhausting. You're not alone though. We all go through it at some point. Voicing your discomfort out loud can sometimes make all the difference.
    Thanks. I can't even look in the mirror anymore below the chest. I won't do it. I don't have a full body mirror and I don't want one. I'd like to have one just to see the changes happening as I lose weight but I think it would just make me feel worse honestly. It's very emotionally exhausting, you are right. I can't even be intimate with anyone new because of it honestly. I don't even want to see myself naked much less let anyone else. I know everyone has their body issues regardless of their size, and I always have. But when I hit my highest weight of my life, it really got worse for me. I feel like a POS all the time.

  • Adc7225
    Adc7225 Posts: 1,318 Member
    I will second the suggestion for exercise. Now I am not necessarily talking about an all out workout plan with equipment. etc.., But something as simple as Arm Circles or Wall Push Ups. Let me share, I initially started the gym with a trainer and told him I would not do anything that required me to get on the floor ;) I would do cardio and some body-weight things but standing or sitting. At some point someone challenged me to do some bicycle crunches - not one to pass up a challenge. I started and worked up my numbers and I was freaking surprised that not only could my body do them but I could see results from doing them - of course I was also on the floor :o When you get your body to respond you will feel better.

    While I did, as you are - obsessing over food, it got better - it got easier. Not sure when and how but one day it just sort of clicked. I also understand the body stuff because one day I looked in the mirror and broke out in tears - the sagging skin was . . . but even at that point I knew there was no turning back, was I going to gain the weight back - NO! I kept going and while I do have some skin and not the body I wish. I have one that is amazing and can do so many things with time and training and me cheering it on! Losing weight is hard, no if's and's or but's, but one of the greatest things that you can do that is all about you.

    You are in the right place, you have a group of people to support you and know that you can do this.
  • abitofbliss
    abitofbliss Posts: 198 Member
    It's easy to doubt yourself, get obsessive about seeing results faster or experience self-incriminating thoughts. I am very familiar with all of this myself. I agree with other members to focus on today, distract yourself, etc but some days are a lot harder then others. I think no matter what stage you are in your journey you will have these days.

    Here are a few of my personal tips I hope can help -
    *It's OK to obsess a little bit* Remember your 7P's (Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance) Give yourself an allotted time (daily/weekly) to obsess about your goals but make some goals short-term/attainable. Think about what you want to accomplish this week or this month instead of overall which is OVERWHELMING! Take some time to think about a grocery list that adheres to your dietary goals, meals, snacks etc. Log your meals ahead of time, if you can, so you can see where your day is lacking. A 7+ day streak in MFP and getting excited about your meal planning instead of feeling like it's a chore is an accomplishment in itself. The obsession eventually just becomes your life and it's nothing to apologize for...There are people just like you who are obsessed with bettering themselves :)

    *You're not a POS if you're overweight* I haven't stepped on the scale for over 2 months (It is VERY hard) but my goals are based on being healthy more then anything. I rode over 1000 miles on my bike in the last 60 days in addition to overhauling my eating and I'm still poking at my chubs wishing it was gone - It's a long process and some days still really sucks but every day is a new day and you can make it better!
  • ortiz0714
    ortiz0714 Posts: 3 Member
    I feel the same way you do. Its tough for me because its a mental thing. When I am in the OFF mode I go into self destructive mode and eat whatever I want. Im going to take this journey as one day at a time. NOTHING worked for me but CICO. Good thoughts your way!

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