Trying again

megankaayy
megankaayy Posts: 1 Member
edited November 23 in Getting Started
I have tried and tried to lose weight and become healthier. Every time I feel like I give up. I want this time to be different! I want to stay motivated! If anyone wants to stay motivated and have a friend to do this with, let me know! I want someone to talk to when it gets hard. I am here to help you as long as you are going to help me!

Replies

  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    I think what sets you up to fail, is relying on motivation, on other people, and to try, instead of just do.

    Losing weight is so simple - just eat less. Healthy eating is also simple - enough of everything you need every day, and not too much of anything over time. Moderate exercise is good for you as well. It should be easy to stick to. No plan will work if you don't stick to it.

    But weight loss is also slow, and results don't show up immediately and consistently in accordance with what you do from day to day - you need reliable data from regular weigh-ins over a long time to see a trend, so you have to have lots of patience and trust in the process, after you've ascertained that you really are eating less. There are so many ways to delude ourselves into eating more than we need, so it's well worth it to investigate if you aren't losing as expected.

    Then there's your expectations - a weekly average loss of 1% of your bodyweight is a good, healthy loss if you're overweight, and it has to be less than that if you just have some "vanity pounds". Think of it as preparation for maintenence - the same effort just to keep your weight stable. This means that anything you can't see yourself doing now, for a few months, will be completely impossible to stick to for the years and years to come - and then it's useless for the weightloss period, too. Find a strategy that makes you feel good, not virtuous.
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  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
    kommodevaran wrote: »
    I think what sets you up to fail, is relying on motivation, on other people, and to try, instead of just do.

    Losing weight is so simple - just eat less. Healthy eating is also simple - enough of everything you need every day, and not too much of anything over time. Moderate exercise is good for you as well. It should be easy to stick to. No plan will work if you don't stick to it.

    But weight loss is also slow, and results don't show up immediately and consistently in accordance with what you do from day to day - you need reliable data from regular weigh-ins over a long time to see a trend, so you have to have lots of patience and trust in the process, after you've ascertained that you really are eating less. There are so many ways to delude ourselves into eating more than we need, so it's well worth it to investigate if you aren't losing as expected.

    Then there's your expectations - a weekly average loss of 1% of your bodyweight is a good, healthy loss if you're overweight, and it has to be less than that if you just have some "vanity pounds". Think of it as preparation for maintenence - the same effort just to keep your weight stable. This means that anything you can't see yourself doing now, for a few months, will be completely impossible to stick to for the years and years to come - and then it's useless for the weightloss period, too. Find a strategy that makes you feel good, not virtuous.

    so much all of this!!!!!!

    good luck with your journey!

  • Muscleflex79
    Muscleflex79 Posts: 1,917 Member
    kommodevaran wrote: »
    I think what sets you up to fail, is relying on motivation, on other people, and to try, instead of just do.

    Losing weight is so simple - just eat less. Healthy eating is also simple - enough of everything you need every day, and not too much of anything over time. Moderate exercise is good for you as well. It should be easy to stick to. No plan will work if you don't stick to it.

    But weight loss is also slow, and results don't show up immediately and consistently in accordance with what you do from day to day - you need reliable data from regular weigh-ins over a long time to see a trend, so you have to have lots of patience and trust in the process, after you've ascertained that you really are eating less. There are so many ways to delude ourselves into eating more than we need, so it's well worth it to investigate if you aren't losing as expected.

    Then there's your expectations - a weekly average loss of 1% of your bodyweight is a good, healthy loss if you're overweight, and it has to be less than that if you just have some "vanity pounds". Think of it as preparation for maintenence - the same effort just to keep your weight stable. This means that anything you can't see yourself doing now, for a few months, will be completely impossible to stick to for the years and years to come - and then it's useless for the weightloss period, too. Find a strategy that makes you feel good, not virtuous.

    this is wonderful! remember - do or do not, there is no try!

    also, I've heard in the past the analogy to brushing your teeth in the morning - are you particularly motivated to brush your teeth? probably not - but do you do it? hopefully yes! it is important to set up routines and choices that you make out of habit whether that motivation is there or not.
  • Dakhar1
    Dakhar1 Posts: 27 Member
    I agree with the above statements. First time I tried to loose weight I had a gym buddy so it made it easier to go and stick to it. But if she couldn’t go for some reason then I didn’t. Then she ended up moving and I told myself I would still go to the gym and I did maybe twice and then stopped altogether. A few years later I’m trying to loose weight again and 3 weeks in, so far I’m doing great. This time I’m just relying on myself and staying motivated by tracking calories eating and calories burned on my Fitbit and reading the forums.
  • ladyhusker39
    ladyhusker39 Posts: 1,406 Member
    edited December 2017
    If it's been as hard as you say then frankly you've doing it wrong.

    The good news is, if you learn a few things about sensible and sustainable weight loss, it will be much easier. I can honestly say that losing 35 lbs was never hard. Not one single day. Nor has maintaining since then been hard.

    What you need is commitment to a plan. Disciple is needed to succeed over time. Motivation is not. It will abandon you at some point, so don't rely on it.

    Follow the advice given above, learn how to lose sustainably reading lots of posts on here (particularly the stickies), and set reasonable goals. Also, eat what you like and make any dietary changes slowly and wisely.
  • kentuckykay96
    kentuckykay96 Posts: 30 Member
    You can add me!
  • sjezip
    sjezip Posts: 31 Member
    I understand the frustration and emotional let down that can happen. I am on another journey too. This time I’m looking at from a relationship instead of numbers and schedules. I need to have time for myself to better myself. Sure, sometimes it’s hard but aren’t the things we work for hard at times or downright exhausting? Now that’s not to say that the numbers and schedules don’t matter - because they do - but that’s not my focus. The numbers and schedules naturally happened as a result. Now it’s not a thing at all to look at the results and feel good. EVEN IF I HAVE AN OFF DAY. It’s easy to miss a day due to LIFE and feel like it’s all over. It’s not, it just means it’s time to dig a little deeper the next day. How do you eat a whale??? One bite at a time. I’d be happy to be there for you and invite you to do the same for me. We all struggle at times.
  • WSOX37
    WSOX37 Posts: 1,614 Member
    Add
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