How to turn down food?
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Nobody offers me anything anymore, as I always refuse, politely of course. The most I'm ever offered is a cup of tea or some water, thank god. You just have to be firm.1
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I think use your upset stomach as an excuse - I can’t eat X because of heartburn, or, my doctor told me to avoid X for my heath. The only problem is you have to shift around the food X for every plate. Unless you commit to a food group or ingredients you want to avoid- I can’t eat added fat right now because my doctor advised me not to, or because of whatever.
Sometimes I do eat a small amount, after repeated pushing attempts, if it’s not a trigger food and I have calories for it.0 -
The worst thing about saying you’re on a diet - even if you don’t get unsolicited advice - is “oh we have cantaloupe and broccoli for you!” ...and having to decide if you wanna be the weirdo who explains it’s not weighed out and you don’t particularly like those things, so they’re not even worth the minimal calories they contain. Like I’m sick of people gleefully informing me there’s a fruit tray. Like suckas, that’s not even good fruit.4
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My co workers always order out lunch, like big stuff- chinese, jimmy johns, chick fil a, cheeseburgers, mexican, they ask everyone if they want something but me. They know I will say no I assume but it does suck that they dont even ask me. Most of the time I have to work through lunch working my butt off. It makes me mad that they think i wouldnt want any food so they just over look me. I just feel like if i was ordering out food i would ask everyone if they wanted something- but thats me- Im not a rude person.1
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HappyCampr1 wrote: »Even Miss Manners and the Emily Post guide say that no explanations are ever necessary. It gives people a chance to judge whether they think your excuse is valid or “important” enough.
This so much is why I dislike the white lie or whatever isn't a polite "no." I have no interest in opening up a dialog about my choices in such situations. If "because I don't want to" isn't accepted, the other person is being rude imo. And that goes for a lot of areas in life.3 -
I was recently at a family birthday where we ate out at a restaurant and then the host brought out an expensive bakery cake and precut everyone slices. I asked if I could get a box to take it home since I was still full and I wanted to enjoy it. Surprisingly, half the group followed suit and asked for boxes too lol. I fit it into calories the next day.4
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I had to learn that it's okay to say no and that it's my choice on what I eat. Not the other way around.
With a genuine smile I say no thank you. No excuses needed.
If they keep asking, I keep repeating myself.3 -
Since others have answered how to reply so well, I'll address the other part of the Q. OP said he ate 900 cal. unconsciously and felt self loathing after. Been there. Consider addressing the unconscious part. Once you take control and own what you do (like recognizing you have accepted cake into your hands now you will either lay it aside, eat it and enjoy it or eat a nite and toss it) then I think the self loathing will diminish. If you think you cannot do that just yet and don't trust yourself and your will, fill a plate with healthy food and carry it or fill it with dessert that you dislike. There will be no wolfing down of dessert you don't like. Once the food time has passed, into the garbage it goes. Don't feel guilty. It was a useful prop and eventually it will end up in the garbage anyway : )3
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Sorry, I'm not hungry.
No, thank you I just ate..
I'm changing my food habits and this isn't on it..
Thanks, but no thanks
I'm surrounded by food pushers here too and I have to really get FIRM sometimes!...
But it's my body I'm trying to change and it got this way from taking ALL THE FOOD.. so.. time to change that.
Good luck!
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[quote Sometimes I will say I have other plans, but I never tell them what those are. If they ask about my plans, a look of incredulity and a raised eyebrow stare (look of Excuse me?!) is generally enough as I repeat the thank you and that I can’t make it. Just because people want to know something doesn’t give them a right to the answer.
People have a hard time accepting boundaries sometimes.
[/quote]
I couldn't agree more!
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I will say “Oh, no, thank you” or, if I feel they went out of their way to make something especially for me or because they knew I always enjoy ______, I’ll say “Just a small bit, please”. And then I’ll eat my few bites without guilt.
I think this is a time of year where people equate food with love - wanting to bake/cook for those they care about. I never want someone to feel like I don’t appreciate them thinking of me (with food!), so I do try to fit a bite or two in if I can!0 -
Haven't had a problem accepting whatever and when backs are turned throw it out!
Easy peasy!0 -
Someone once told me long ago......better wasted in trash can than in me!2
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I just tell them: sorry. That particular food gives me really bad gas. Always works
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moosmum1972 wrote: »Always walk round with a plate with food on if it's a buffet then you can say you still have some. If a no offends ask for it to be wrapped for later as you would like to enjoy it later. Then save for later or bin it.
Not the best advice. Why waste food?? Be honest, why does this need to be made into a big deal? I hate lying, especially over trivial things because then it becomes a habit. People should accept that you don't want to eat. Unless they are physically forcing it down your mouth, there really isn't a problem. Just refuse!1 -
No is a complete answer.0
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Honestly, and don't hate me, you should really take a break from counting calories. I used to be like you years ago, but counting too much and getting too neurotic actually makes it more likely to overeat eventually in more circumstances - in my experience. Because basically you're in a restricted mindset, it's easier to give in (even to bleh food), when I took a break I actually listened to my body and my hunger signals WAY more and more wisely from the knowledge I had gained from counting calories.
I've learnt it's good to take semi regular breaks when you find yourself 'feeling guilty' etc. It's food god damnit! You need it to survive! you should NEVER feel guilty for eating! And when you do, it's sign you need to relax man!
Just my 2c 8 -
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I understand the "throw it out" comment. As a teacher, I get offered a lot of food from other staff and students! I found it too difficult to turn down a child's offer, so now I accept the food and tell them I will enjoy it later. It feeds the trash can at the end of the day unless it is something that I truly want to fit into my plan.0
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Dont be on or near your period.2
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"No thank you" always worked for me. I will repeat that if I have to (stressing the No part more) and if the giver keeps insisting it will become a case of "which part of NO is not working for you, the N-part or the O-part"
Only once did the giver follow up with; "No need to become rude", with a reply from me "I find it very rude to insist that people accept your offer despite their polite decline". Which finally made them back off and they now know not to ignore a "No thank you"1 -
I have a hard time turning down food that's handed to me, especially if the giver is trying to be extra nice and I am in their home. I tend to eat it even if I don't want it, am full, and it doesn't even taste very good. I felt like I beat this issue recently, but in reality, it hasn't come up all that much. I was handed food last night that I didn't really want. I tried turning it down and even suggested a lighter alternative. Then I absentmindedly ate it anyway. 900 calories later, I got a stomach ache, had to take an antacid, and had to lay down until I digested. I got angry, I mean, really angry; full of self-loathing. I had a lot to do that didn't get done because of my self-induced pains. I felt gross. I wanted to blame the giver, but I know only I can take responsibility for what goes in my body. Today, I don't feel so sick, but I don't trust myself to handle these next couple of weeks very well. Surely this situation is going to come up again and again with holiday events, and I am only going to have so much "rejection" energy in me. Struggling to turn down food is not new, but this newly following self-loathing isn't productive or helpful. It seems I've made the problem worse. I am not sure how to prepare myself for these next couple of weeks
I had an unintentional 900 calorie meal last week...I made focaccia from scratch and made the mistake of figuring out how many calories were in it AFTER I ate
I should have known from all the olive oil...maybe I DID know and that's why I didn't put it in the recipe builder until after dinner, lol.
My mom is kind of a food pusher. She'll offer me everything in the house, lol. But she's just doing it to be hospitable and has no problem with my "No, this is plenty."1 -
Shift your focus away from deprival and eating to please --it *is* a really yuckky place to be.
First, it is perfectly OK to simply realize that the holiday season just totally works against trying to lose, and while for some people they can do it, you may not be in that place. Maybe you can just go on maintenance for a week or two... a week or even two is really a blip in the whole process.
Next, go in with a better plan. I try to go into a family food gathering, and scope out what really looks good. And I eat it. But only ONE small serving, and keep it to one medium-sized dinner plate. I focus on what I feel will really make me happy.
Drink a lot of water or no-cal beverages, to keep your mouth busy. It also helps keep people from constantly trying to freshen your drink.
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moosmum1972 wrote: »Tygirl2016 wrote: »I understand the "throw it out" comment. As a teacher, I get offered a lot of food from other staff and students! I found it too difficult to turn down a child's offer, so now I accept the food and tell them I will enjoy it later. It feeds the trash can at the end of the day unless it is something that I truly want to fit into my plan.
My teacher friends donate sealed packets to charities and rest homes.
Yes! Heck, even a neighbor, church, homeless shelter, how about your mailperson or favorite lady at the post office. Spread the Love!0
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