I don’t want anything for Xmas because I’m fat.

Sounds like you might just have enough pain there to ignite some big changes in your life,

I think it's sad that you want to deprive yourself because of how you feel. Your husband obviously still loves you and wants to treat you. Maybe you should seek some help in regards to your self esteem as you lose weight, because weight loss probably won't make you feel any better.

KeepingUpWithKarina wrote: »

@malibu227

I was on depression medication like 3 years ago and it was not helpful. I’m no longer on any medication for it. I’m hoping to find another way to cope with these issues like exercise, for example. However, if I don’t feel like anything is helping, I will seek therapy. I have noticed that I have issues with food. Food anxiety, and feeling guilty when I eat. But I am aware of myself and that I may need to ask for help. Meanwhile, I’m not going to stop with my weight loss journey cause I do need to lose weight and get out of risk for diseases like diabetes but I know that losing weight isn’t going to fix what’s in my mind and how I view myself.

Its easier said thn done and i assure you iv been there done that and continue to struggle with it daily, As you seem inspired by people who have been there, I lost 110 pounds now. But id like you to try one thing. Just TRY to enter exercise and your eating from a mindset of self love. I know its hard. But think "this food will nourish my body more and ill feel great after eating it" vs "this food is crap and im awful for eating it". Try not to think of food as good or bad, Its all nourishing just to different degrees. It can be a touchy thing to hit the wall of self hate and have that fuel your weight loss. Youll be much happier in the meantime focusing on small things that really do help your mindset. Its just another skill unfortunately that needs to be practiced, Even if its faked at first.

Talking in past tense has helped me alot. I USED to be a binge eater. I USED to have no control. (Still dont when i have sweets around but i have the control in my hands to not buy them) I USED to be an unhealthy fat lump in a bed, But i CHOOSE to now be fit healthy and happy. I deserve it. so do you. Taking those little controls and flexing that self love muscle adds up

Change your inner narrative, Its just like willpower you may have to fake it at first but eventually it strengthens and if you tell yourself stuff enough eventually youll believe it and it gets easier.

Get up and fight back. Save your life. We only live once. Is this how you want your life to go? It doesn’t have to be like this. But you have to change this, nobody can do it for you.

I’m another person in the ranks of the 100lb losers. I’ve been at goal 11 years. Like you, as I got bigger, my life got smaller. I could see here and there people who could turn their lives around. It was doable. But was it doable for me? That was a different question.

I’m not going to suggest that you love yourself like you are. It would help if you could. But it isn’t necessary. But I want to convince you of two things.

First, a calorie deficit monitored with a food diary will result in weight loss. It works. Really. In fact, unless you have an undiagnosed medical problem, it can’t fail. Weight loss is just a set of things to do. Problem solving. Habits. Accepting some limits. An attitude of experimentation. Determination.

But here’s a catch. All you get is the number on the scale. There are huge benefits to a good number on the scale. But it won’t change the nature of the universe. Your character is not at stake here. It’s just the scale.

Second. If you decide to get involved in weight loss, you deserve to achieve your goals. Every person alive deserves to realize their goals to the extent those goals are within their control. You’re no different from anyone else in this regard. It’s basic. That’s why self love isn’t necessary. It’s just a matter of respecting your own decision regarding this one thing in your life.

Add me as friend if you think it would help you. But be aware that I will argue these points relentlessly;WL is basically just problem solving, and you deserve to get this if you want it. Good luck.