Fell off the wagon horribly and am back on but man. It hurt going back to the gym today

Losingthedamnweight · December 2017

So today is my first day back on the wagon after a whopping 6 months off of it and it just feels plain weird. I was depressed and full of anxiety for the better part (or worse) of a year and I’m just now getting my focus back, but I’m 40 lbs heavier, very self conscious and this morning I went back to the gym at 5am and tried to do a workout and I was SO tired I felt like I was dying.

I could barely keep up on the exercise bike, but then I got on the treadmill and gave it a decent incline and speed and my legs started cramping up and I don’t know why it upset me so much. It was like this realization of “this is what I did to myself. I’m fat and out of shape and I can barely walk on a treadmill without feeling like crap”. I remember early in 2017 being fit and excited to go to the gym everyday. Challenging myself with every workout. Looking forward to getting a good sweat going. Today it was almost like the second I walked in the gym I already felt defeated. I’m trying to not think so negatively, but it’s hard

I’m off work today, so I was actually thinking about going back to the gym this afternoon and tackling it again. Seeing if I get stronger every time I go back. I just kinda wanted to tell someone how my day was going and see if anybody else had the same feelings going back to the gym after being away for so long

WhereIsPJSoles · December 2017

My gym has this big reflective window when I walk in and every time I pass it I look at it to see how my butt looks. If I look in it and think I look fat, I always have the worst workout. Cardio feels like extended torture, my muscles get tired of lifting the same amount as they did the day before without a problem. I usually shortcut those days. If I think I look good in the reflective window and like I belong there I do well.

All that’s to say, so so so much of it is in your head. Yeah, your body hurts, but feeling defeated before you start is like the only part of it you can change. Just make the decision that you’re gonna go and you’re getting better and whatever you do, don’t look at your butt in the mirror on the way in.

katste44 · December 2017

I feel your pain 100%. I'm just getting back on the wagon myself after about 6 months of depression and stress where I ate (and didn't exercise) myself to an extra 20 lbs (and I was already 30 lbs overweight, but I was working on that before). I tried to do a workout video last night and I felt like crap - I was out of breath and could barely do the easiest of exercises. I felt really bad about myself. So, I know exactly what you're saying.

But, we've done it before and we can do it again - one day at a time right? Take it easier when you go back - don't try to start where you left off six months ago and tell yourself that your better for doing this now. It will get easier, you will get stronger, and we can do this!

Mike1804 · December 2017

You aren't alone - Been there. If you are anything like me, overtraining will be what you need to keep on your radar. More isn't always better. Naturally, we want to get back to where we were and we will do anything to get there. I almost take pleasure in punishing myself during my workouts to reach my goals. I'm finding out, it's the wrong approach as my results have stalled... I love working out so much that I think I may be overtraining...

A couple years ago I was working with a personal trainer and ended up losing about 30 lbs over the course of 4 months. About 2 months later I ended up breaking my leg in a dirtbike crash, requiring knee surgery and was laid up for 12 weeks non-weight bearing. It took me a good 2 years to get back to the gym. I gained all that weight back, and MAN DID IT HURT COMING BACK! 18 months ago, here I am, 49 years old walking into an Orange Theory studio with all these over-the-top younger, FIT people. But, I suffered through the pain, stayed consistent, and 18 months later I'm back fitness-wise where I was. 2-3 years ago

Welcome back to the GRIND!! This pain you're feeling is a great motivator to stay with it, isn't it?

Maxxitt · December 2017

Struggling with depression and anxiety means dealing with the accompanying inner voice that is so critical, and it's a hard rut to get out of. And "think happy thoughts" is such bs

But I would encourage you to talk back to that critic and also to adjust the intensity of your exercise these next two weeks as you work back into a routine. A "decent pace and incline" on the treadmill after being fairly sedentary for 6 months is much more moderate than when you were more regularly active and fit. Just showing up at the gym is a "win."

tumblyweed · December 2017

Friend me for support

lorrpb · December 2017

Consider easing back into a routine. Youre not gonna restart where you left off 6 months ago. Set yourself up for success rather than failure or frustration..

DmaMfz · December 2017

I felt the same way. I was so uncomfortable with how I felt at the gym it actually caused more problems than solutions. Some people can train through it. I couldn’t. I knew I didn’t need to workout to lose weight, so I focused on just getting enough of the lbs off where I felt comfortable in my skin again. Then hit up the gym. It was just the method that worked for me.

Then I had a crazy year as well, and gained 20ish lbs, and I’m a tiny person so that’s quite a lot on my body. But, I feel comforted in knowing what to do and how to do it. Now it’s just a matter of time. Just be patient with yourself. Don’t break yourself mentally over this. If you need to just focus on CICO for a bit to get motivated, no harm in that. You’ll know when you’re ready.

elisa123gal · December 2017

There must be something in the air today... maybe it is some of us getting to new years resolutions today instead of waiting. Without going into to it... i understand.
it is a downer when you realize you've lost ground. We all do it..and it is okay to beat yourself up for a day about it.. then you have to move on.

it is unrealistic to think you can jump right back in at the gym and work out like you did when you were fit. Start slow and give it time... take the advice you'd give to a dear friend who was out of shape and headed to the gym.

Robbiexie · December 2017

Hello! So I joined MFP about a week ago. So this is my first comment on anyone's post! *cue applause* Yay! Anyways, I'm 25, I played high school football and was in the best shape of my life at that time. I lost my grandma on my graduation day and things got rough, weight gain, anxiety, and so on. Years later, in October 2014 I was in a car accident. I haven't worked since then, and i have received anterior neck and back surgery, both fusions. I lost 10% range in my neck and more so in my lower back. Every day I fight the pain in my back, even after surgeries. I stopped taking my pain medication and muscle relaxers because it ultimately affects the kidneys and liver. I'm going to school to become a police officer in Detroit or Metro Detroit and to even qualify for MCOLES, I need to get in shape. I need to pass the physical exam before I can be eligible for the police academy at school. I'm trying to make it to the summer academy. My point to all of this is to give weight to what I'm about to say(pun not intended). I completely understand where you're coming from. It's been forever for me to workout as well but taking that initial step is difficult and you have already done that once more. I kept putting off working out because I had no motivation, I seemed to have the winter blues but year round, and it was difficult. It's easy to say and think about working out, but you have taken that step to actually do it. I ultimately cut soda out of my diet, I also am in a caloric deficit to lose weight and to be honest, it's not as difficult as I thought. If I can go through all of this and then some, you got this in the bag! No you're not the only one buddy! I used to be able to run a mile with little to no problem in high school. I can't imagine doing that now, but I have to work myself up to it again. Don't feel defeated and don't let it get to you! You have made the first step in the right direction. You just didn't think it, you did it! Once you have gone for a little while it'll feel like home again:) I'm right there with you! Everything you described, it mind as well have been my post haha. You got this!:)

Take care,

Robert

itsaboutthattimeagain · December 2017

I feel you or should I say, I did feel you almost two months ago. Fell off and finally started exercising again and realized it was harder than before. Energy was low and I couldn't believe how tired I was after a short time. Was so darn frustrated. Good news is after exercising consistently for almost two months, my stamina and strength is improving. So hang in there, it will get better. Just what happens when we fall off. I will say that I thought it would never return, lol, it just seemed so much harder than before. lol...but good news, the more you exercise, the more your stamina and energy will return and improve. Just hang in there and weather the storm, brighter days are ahead.

cenafan · December 2017

I was losing steady (but not in a healthy way). Doctor made me take a break. I've decided it's time to get back on track. I've out back on 8 of the 50 I had lost in 2 months. Very stressed about that. Time to get back to losing healthy! You can do it! I can do it. Let's go!

twopaulines · December 2017

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I went to the gym yesterday and nearly had a panic attack. I was alone in a weight room full of people. DIdn't feel comfortable at all. I did the best I could and reminded myself this was all mental. Because there are days I go and feel I own the place. Yesterday, I felt like a pesky step sister.

You did it once, you'll do it again. Keep up the good work!

greaseswabber · December 2017

I'm in the same boat. It's been a slow, steady increase. Every time i hit some new high, I thought 'this time I'll get back to MFP. This time I'll fix it.' 35 lbs later I'm actually back to logging and mostly achieving my calorie goals. No gym yet, but maybe this week.

jennifer_417 · December 2017

I'm in the same boat. Gained back most of the weight I've lost. It was a difficult year, and it's hard not to beat myself up over it. But I'm hoping to take everything I learned last time and apply it this time.

LAWoman72 · December 2017

Six months is a way long time. You're basically starting from scratch. But think: one month from now you will be so glad you started a month ago. Two months from now you will be so happy you started two months ago. We all need to start some time and today is as good a day as any.

girlwithcurls2 · December 2017

LAWoman72 wrote: »

Six months is a way long time. You're basically starting from scratch. But think: one month from now you will be so glad you started a month ago. Two months from now you will be so happy you started two months ago. We all need to start some time and today is as good a day as any.

This. QFT/

mlsh1969 · December 2017

Keep going, hang in there, u will succeed

peaceout_aly · December 2017

You may have not felt great about it, but hey, you got in there and you did it! That is what matters. The first week or two will probably suck getting back into it. Maybe even a month. But stick with it. I recently took four full weeks off post-surgery and even with that short amount of time, getting back into it was tough. It took me about two weeks to really feel in the swing of things and be confident with my lifts again. That being said, it will probably be another month or two until I'm squatting and dead lifting what I was prior to my surgery. It takes time. What matters most is that you are getting your work out in and making an attempt. Try and blast your music, get out of your head. Maybe get some new sneakers, treat yourself to a coffee or tea post-work out and try to make it your *therapy* again.

twoboysnmygirl · December 2017

Typed up a huge reply and lost it, ugh!

I came in here looking for this exact type of thread. Just know you aren't alone and many of us are getting back to it and starting again! Lifelong process to stay healthy, we keep on keeping on or we slide back into bad habits. today I choose to keep going, even if it's frustrating to see how far I've backslid.

halhix · December 2017

I know exactly where you are. I lost 150 lbs through exercise and logging activity through MFP back in 2012. For the better part of five years, I've battled depression (several family members passed away and my wife has been battling breast cancer for the past 3 years). I just gave in and gained back almost 90 lbs.

Two months ago I started again just like you. I was miserable for the first few days of exercising. You need to look at this like training for a marathon. You need to build yourself into it (not only physically but mentally as well). I'm doing elliptical exercises now to ease myself back into an exercise routine (started 30 min, built up to 45 min, now I'm doing 60 min a day). I'm about to add in HIIT sometime this next week. I've dropped 20 lbs and feel a little bit better about myself. Like you, I need to stop beating myself up and do something about it as the depression won't let go until you finally forgive yourself.

Fell off the wagon horribly and am back on but man. It hurt going back to the gym today

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