Help. Bingeing daily.
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veggiesnyoga
Posts: 19 Member
Hi. I’ve been on this website for a while. I lost a lot of weight a couple of years ago, went from being in the 170s to low 110s. Then gained about 10 and hovered in the low 120s for a while. I got motivated to start losing weight when I started dating my ex. We got engaged, were supposed to get married this year. We broke up 3 months ago. I had surgery 3 weeks ago and haven’t been able to exercise. And had to take time off work. And didn’t go out of town for the holidays so basically alone. My family is in a different country. I’ve been bingeing every night. I’m 129 today and feel much heavier. And I know that I’m on the way to old patterns and the old body that I hate. I try throwing away trigger foods but then I end up buying others again that become trigger foods. If I don’t buy snacks I feel deprived and binge on anything else. If I buy even the 100 cal ones I will eat them all in one sitting. An example of just now. I ate a good, filling dinner, then ate all this: 4 muffins stuffed with sunflower seed butter and chocolate (bar), then 100 calorie pack of cashews, then 100 calorie pack crackers, then a big box of crackers (5 servings), with a whole box of crumbled feta, then the whole box of the shortbread chocolate cookies. I feel disgusted with myself. I know everything that I need to do : count calories, walk,..I know it’s a mind thing. I’m relatively smart. I’ve done this before I know how it works. Yet I feel helpless. And horrible. I bought puzzles and adult coloring books (don’t laugh) because they keep my hands occupied. I can’t workout for another 3 weeks because of the surgery). And it’s pretty cold and snowing where I live now. Anyone out there struggling like me and has any advice? Thank you.
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Replies
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At tough times, sometimes the best thing you can do is be kind to yourself. Adult colouring books are great, I have several and love each of them. If your binging is in your mind (and it sounds like it is) distraction is a good tool. It also wouldn't hurt to talk to a counselor or a similar professional to help you navigate yourself through this tough time, perhaps pinpoint what exactly is the root of the issue and going from there. You could also perhaps focus on eating at your maintenance calories for awhile, maybe about a month, and then gradually cut calories. I would also try getting out even in the cold. Whip up a cup of tea or coffee, go for a stroll even if it's only a few minutes. Works for me, especially at this time of year because I love looking at Christmas lights.8
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Thank you Michelle for reading my long post and for your advice. Very helpful tips and I will follow starting with a walk tomorrow5
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Breaking off an engagement is a shattering experience and a tough thing to get through. It's common to experience post-surgery depression, especially when recuperating keeps you from activities you enjoy. To top it all off, you are completely isolated and don't even have daily interaction with coworkers. And then there's the Holiday Blues. I'm so sorry you are going through all this!! Make an appointment with your doctor and see if it's recommended you try an antidepressant. And call a counselor so you have at least one person you can talk to.
I broke off an engagement and was still grieving the loss of that relationship when I suffered a back injury. Couldn't work for a couple weeks, family all out of town. Found I couldn't stop crying and stayed in the house all day. I stopped eating. My doctor prescribed antidepressants and referred me to a counselor. Totally helped me get through an overwhelming and terrible time. Best of luck to you!!7 -
Thank you for your advice and kind words Deb. I’m sorry you went through a broken engagement and health issues at around the same time too... Thank you for sharing your experience. I tried counseling when I was going through the breakup but the therapist and I weren’t a good fit. I should try again. How is everything with you now?3
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I too have struggled with binge eating.
I would highly recommend the book ‘Brain over Binge’ by Kathryn Hansen. She writes about her own personal experiences but gives insight into the cognitive aspects of binging.
Feel free to message me. Almost 200 days binge free x9 -
Thank you! And congrats on almost 200 days binge free! I read the book but it didn’t stick. I should probably read it again.0
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I have never had a binging problem but, I am pretty sure my mom does. I do notice a lot of shame when people binge. Whenever, I over eat I am a little bummed and disappointed that it will take so much effort to expend the energy to bring me back down to maintenance. But, I never say-- I'm totally disgusted with myself. I don't know- something about that sort of self denigration seems to make the situation worse. So I would start with being proud that you came on this site and admitted what you ate and how you are feeling; you are reaching out for help. That is an awesome accomplishment in itself. I agree getting in some sort of movement is imperative - if you have any malls near by - walk around in them. Or get super bundled up and move it fast. I hope you are feeling better soon- everything passes with time....8
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Another tool that can help a lot when I am feeling down is renting some comedies.2
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Well done for your successful weight loss in the past! So sorry about your bingeing, relationship breakdown, your surgery depression and your holiday isolation!
Totally understandable in your situation to be feeling like crap and taking comfort in food and feeling out of control.
I definitely recommend seeing a doctor/psychologist for antidepressants and counselling. Keep trying with both till you find ones that help, because they do help!
Also what helps is challenging your thoughts, and positive self-talk.
You can start by congratulating yourself on not going out of control with your spending, or not drinking yourself into a stupor, or harassing your ex on Facebook.
These things take self-control, so you know you have it.
What surgery did you have? Are there are other forms of workouts you can do besides what you were doing? Exercise is so helpful to me with my anxiety, and a major inspiration for my creativity.
Best wishes, and congratulations on posting here and voicing your worries. Very wise of you. I love this helpful community. Great advice above.2 -
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I can offer that finding a therapist that “fits” is key to the experience. I am going through a similar backslide into bad habits, realizing that’s what’s happening is a good thing, I think.
I’m also using a daily meditation app and that really seems to be helping me.
That must be very tough to be so isolated during this time of year and to have gone through a relationship ending at the same time. The other posts here are all great advice, add some friends and let them be there for you.
Good luck!0 -
runningforthetrain wrote: »I have never had a binging problem but, I am pretty sure my mom does. I do notice a lot of shame when people binge. Whenever, I over eat I am a little bummed and disappointed that it will take so much effort to expend the energy to bring me back down to maintenance. But, I never say-- I'm totally disgusted with myself. I don't know- something about that sort of self denigration seems to make the situation worse. So I would start with being proud that you came on this site and admitted what you ate and how you are feeling; you are reaching out for help. That is an awesome accomplishment in itself. I agree getting in some sort of movement is imperative - if you have any malls near by - walk around in them. Or get super bundled up and move it fast. I hope you are feeling better soon- everything passes with time....
Thank you for your kind words and advice. It’s very helpful and appreciated.x0 -
Well done for your successful weight loss in the past! So sorry about your bingeing, relationship breakdown, your surgery depression and your holiday isolation!
Totally understandable in your situation to be feeling like crap and taking comfort in food and feeling out of control.
I definitely recommend seeing a doctor/psychologist for antidepressants and counselling. Keep trying with both till you find ones that help, because they do help!
Also what helps is challenging your thoughts, and positive self-talk.
You can start by congratulating yourself on not going out of control with your spending, or not drinking yourself into a stupor, or harassing your ex on Facebook.
These things take self-control, so you know you have it.
What surgery did you have? Are there are other forms of workouts you can do besides what you were doing? Exercise is so helpful to me with my anxiety, and a major inspiration for my creativity.
Best wishes, and congratulations on posting here and voicing your worries. Very wise of you. I love this helpful community. Great advice above.
Thank you so much! I will definitely look for help. I can do lower body low impact workout (no cardio or lifting). Basically walk walk and walk some more. Which is always good.
Thanks for all the good advice and positive words
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Thank you for the encouragement! I hope that you’re able to avoid getting into old habits as well.. what is the mediation app? I listened to some uplifting/motivating videos on YouTube yesterday (random ones), and they seemed to help.. Thank you for adding mekjablinskey wrote: »I can offer that finding a therapist that “fits” is key to the experience. I am going through a similar backslide into bad habits, realizing that’s what’s happening is a good thing, I think.
I’m also using a daily meditation app and that really seems to be helping me.
That must be very tough to be so isolated during this time of year and to have gone through a relationship ending at the same time. The other posts here are all great advice, add some friends and let them be there for you.
Good luck!
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I'm sorry to hear you are struggling right now. What an awful lot you are going through with the break up, surgery, holidays.
I struggle with binging as well. For me, it's a circle of bad habits recurring when I'm stressed, shame, binging as a distraction from boredom or grief.
My way of working through it is through accepting my feelings - feeling what I am feeling, and noticing it - and practising self compassion. For example, before I lost weight I would never let myself buy new clothes, because I could just "pull myself together and lose weight so I can fit my old clothes". It was a form of punishment. When I finally thought to myself that I deserved new clothes that I could actually fit, it was a sign of a changing mindset of self care and self compassion. I could only fit those clothes for a few months, because that was when I started to lose weight. But self compassion is a skill and it takes practise.
That was just a few words of what it has been like for me, it might be very different for you. But maybe it resonates a bit?
Based on my experience, my advice for you would be to show yourself the kindness you need and deserve right now - what would you tell a friend who told you this, and how is that different from what you say to yourself? What tiny step can you take today to show yourself kindness?
Also, I hide my eating from people, and just want to acknowledge how brave it is for you to tell us what you have eaten. Sooo effing awesome and thank you for that.
I just realised I wrote a novel here and I sound like a counselor. I'll stop now 7 -
Hi Lady.....life isn't easy...And when it isn't easy human nature often chooses to make it harder.
Punishing ourselves for the occurrences or events that have found their way into our path.
Food....well often it's easier to hide behind this game of control than it is to face what is truly occurring.
You feel unworthy....and believe that you don't deserve to be happy and that it is you who in some part is responsible for the events that have taken place. It's a lot harder to face this fact....that we don't think we are meant to be happy...or we are not worthy enough....that we and others simply don't love ourselves enough....
So we hide behind another trigger. In your case and many of us....food.
Not easy to hear....but you have a choice.
See what you are doing and be honest with yourself as to why you are doing it.....
That maybe even at your best....your version of your physical best...you weren't good enough to be successful in love. And so....your foundation has been rocked.
You don't actually want to be at your physical best...for all it did resulted in hurt anyway...
Hence no true to desire to alter your binging.
Choice...see what you are doing and why...and if you are happy with that...be kind to you and allow it a while.
If your not happy....choose to alter it. Hour by hour. If you manage 24hrs...you'll be well on your way to breaking your cycle.
Trust me....my life is at the very depths I could ever have imagined. I see what I am doing and why....and now I too will make choices.
Love to you xxx5 -
Gosh my heart breaks for you. Cause I’ve been a binge eater since I was about 13 (now 31). The first step is to seek support from others and be honest with yourself which you have both done. I’d gladly be a friend as I have binge struggles as well. It’s very frustrating after you’ve lost all that weight. I have a few videos I’ve watched on YouTube that have some great advice and are very motivating. And seem to have helped me personally over the last two months. I’ll drop the link below for one of them. I went to the dr a year and a half ago for my symptoms of binge eating, insomnia, and dread in my heart (aka depression). She prescribed me zoloft. It helped at first, but then I was way worse off. Contemplated suicide and cried/binged daily. I went off of zoloft 6 months ago. Although I’m not as emotional, I have gained 30 lbs this year. I’m now seeing a holistic dr to get my weight off, trying natural oils, hormone therapy, etc. it’s not a control of your brain in binge eating as most people think. It’s chemical/ hormonal. You can tell yourself a million times you shouldn’t eat this or that but for me my brain literally shuts my pleading down and I eat everything in sight. No amount of mind control can help that. I feel outside of my body when this happens. Before you go down the road of getting medicated with antidepressants please do your research and see if you’d be able to handle the side effects. I had them all and am the 11% of the population that experiences all of them. A lot of our issues as females are hormonal, which is why binge eating is more common among women vs men. Maybe get your hormone levels looked at by a holistic dr instead of a regular dr? Add me as a friend or message me I’d love to be your support!
Jess
https://youtu.be/PwGXhJAYdDQ
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@veggiesnyoga I guess I should have told you how things turned out! The first antidepressant worked okay for a while, but then the doctor listened to my feedback and switched me to a second one which really did the trick. I went to one counselor for about two months. I discussed my old relationship, eating issues, stress at work, feeling stuck. I felt like I managed to feel like myself again with the therapy and medication support. (And as an aside, trying natural remedies like St. John's wort and lavender oil or whatever didn't even begin to help, so my advice is to give medical doctors a try first.). My long term result: stress is less stressful, I feel more in charge of my own life, I eventually fell in love again, I'm married and a mom. I've lost 30 pounds using MFP this year.5
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veggiesnyoga wrote: »Hi. I’ve been on this website for a while. I lost a lot of weight a couple of years ago, went from being in the 170s to low 110s. Then gained about 10 and hovered in the low 120s for a while. I got motivated to start losing weight when I started dating my ex. We got engaged, were supposed to get married this year. We broke up 3 months ago. I had surgery 3 weeks ago and haven’t been able to exercise. And had to take time off work. And didn’t go out of town for the holidays so basically alone. My family is in a different country. I’ve been bingeing every night. I’m 129 today and feel much heavier. And I know that I’m on the way to old patterns and the old body that I hate. I try throwing away trigger foods but then I end up buying others again that become trigger foods. If I don’t buy snacks I feel deprived and binge on anything else. If I buy even the 100 cal ones I will eat them all in one sitting. An example of just now. I ate a good, filling dinner, then ate all this: 4 muffins stuffed with sunflower seed butter and chocolate (bar), then 100 calorie pack of cashews, then 100 calorie pack crackers, then a big box of crackers (5 servings), with a whole box of crumbled feta, then the whole box of the shortbread chocolate cookies. I feel disgusted with myself. I know everything that I need to do : count calories, walk,..I know it’s a mind thing. I’m relatively smart. I’ve done this before I know how it works. Yet I feel helpless. And horrible. I bought puzzles and adult coloring books (don’t laugh) because they keep my hands occupied. I can’t workout for another 3 weeks because of the surgery). And it’s pretty cold and snowing where I live now. Anyone out there struggling like me and has any advice? Thank you.
I have sobbed my way through this thread. You have been through so much and you are still standing, so that is a testament to your strength and endurance. Keep reminding yourself of your great value. Remember that this, too, shall pass. Put on some upbeat music that you love and dance. Do you have a hobby that you haven't worked on lately? Something like knitting, scrapbooking, coin collecting, reading or whatever? Don't put pressure on yourself about your eating.
I find that if I can resist taking that first bite, soon the urge to eat goes away. Sometimes I set the timer for 10 minutes and tell myself that if I still want "that food" when the dinger goes off, I can have it. Usually by the time it rings, I'm back in control Wishing you all the best. Take care
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