Help. Bingeing daily.
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ChibiTrine wrote: »I'm sorry to hear you are struggling right now. What an awful lot you are going through with the break up, surgery, holidays.
I struggle with binging as well. For me, it's a circle of bad habits recurring when I'm stressed, shame, binging as a distraction from boredom or grief.
My way of working through it is through accepting my feelings - feeling what I am feeling, and noticing it - and practising self compassion. For example, before I lost weight I would never let myself buy new clothes, because I could just "pull myself together and lose weight so I can fit my old clothes". It was a form of punishment. When I finally thought to myself that I deserved new clothes that I could actually fit, it was a sign of a changing mindset of self care and self compassion. I could only fit those clothes for a few months, because that was when I started to lose weight. But self compassion is a skill and it takes practise.
That was just a few words of what it has been like for me, it might be very different for you. But maybe it resonates a bit?
Based on my experience, my advice for you would be to show yourself the kindness you need and deserve right now - what would you tell a friend who told you this, and how is that different from what you say to yourself? What tiny step can you take today to show yourself kindness?
Also, I hide my eating from people, and just want to acknowledge how brave it is for you to tell us what you have eaten. Sooo effing awesome and thank you for that.
I just realised I wrote a novel here and I sound like a counselor. I'll stop now
Thank you for sharing your experience with binging as well. I can relate with not having anything to wear while waiting to fit into old clothes from better days. I’m glad you were able to find a way that helps you. I will definitely try that. I’m seeing a pattern in the responses on this thread, other than a ton of compassion that I was not expecting and that I’m very grateful for, and it’s basically centering around giving ourselves a break, more self care, and little to do with food, more with the underlying issues..
I love that you wrote a novel as you call it I enjoyed reading it and it was very helpful. Thank you! 1 -
walkswithfire4598 wrote: »Hi Lady.....life isn't easy...And when it isn't easy human nature often chooses to make it harder.
Punishing ourselves for the occurrences or events that have found their way into our path.
Food....well often it's easier to hide behind this game of control than it is to face what is truly occurring.
You feel unworthy....and believe that you don't deserve to be happy and that it is you who in some part is responsible for the events that have taken place. It's a lot harder to face this fact....that we don't think we are meant to be happy...or we are not worthy enough....that we and others simply don't love ourselves enough....
So we hide behind another trigger. In your case and many of us....food.
Not easy to hear....but you have a choice.
See what you are doing and be honest with yourself as to why you are doing it.....
That maybe even at your best....your version of your physical best...you weren't good enough to be successful in love. And so....your foundation has been rocked.
You don't actually want to be at your physical best...for all it did resulted in hurt anyway...
Hence no true to desire to alter your binging.
Choice...see what you are doing and why...and if you are happy with that...be kind to you and allow it a while.
If your not happy....choose to alter it. Hour by hour. If you manage 24hrs...you'll be well on your way to breaking your cycle.
Trust me....my life is at the very depths I could ever have imagined. I see what I am doing and why....and now I too will make choices.
Love to you xxx
Hey.. your message made me cry, because it felt so true. You’re very insightful. I hope that you are making some great choices for yourself now too. You’re right, hour by hour. Today had been good, and I’m determined to keep it that way. Reading through all these helpful comments from amazingly compassionate people including yourself is keeping me on track, giving me lots to think about.
Thank you thank you, and lots of love back.1 -
Hi Jess,Gosh my heart breaks for you. Cause I’ve been a binge eater since I was about 13 (now 31). The first step is to seek support from others and be honest with yourself which you have both done. I’d gladly be a friend as I have binge struggles as well. It’s very frustrating after you’ve lost all that weight. I have a few videos I’ve watched on YouTube that have some great advice and are very motivating. And seem to have helped me personally over the last two months. I’ll drop the link below for one of them. I went to the dr a year and a half ago for my symptoms of binge eating, insomnia, and dread in my heart (aka depression). She prescribed me zoloft. It helped at first, but then I was way worse off. Contemplated suicide and cried/binged daily. I went off of zoloft 6 months ago. Although I’m not as emotional, I have gained 30 lbs this year. I’m now seeing a holistic dr to get my weight off, trying natural oils, hormone therapy, etc. it’s not a control of your brain in binge eating as most people think. It’s chemical/ hormonal. You can tell yourself a million times you shouldn’t eat this or that but for me my brain literally shuts my pleading down and I eat everything in sight. No amount of mind control can help that. I feel outside of my body when this happens. Before you go down the road of getting medicated with antidepressants please do your research and see if you’d be able to handle the side effects. I had them all and am the 11% of the population that experiences all of them. A lot of our issues as females are hormonal, which is why binge eating is more common among women vs men. Maybe get your hormone levels looked at by a holistic dr instead of a regular dr? Add me as a friend or message me I’d love to be your support!
Jess
https://youtu.be/PwGXhJAYdDQ
Thank you for your response, and for sharing your experience. Some physicians here are quick to prescribe antidepressants. When I saw a counselor briefly when I was struggling with my breakup, she told me that I seem unbalanced emotionally and that I should be on medication, and referred me to a psychiatrist. I called him but he wasn’t taking new patients for another couple months at least and his office was bad with follow-up so it never happened. But I agree, medication is not necessarily the solution for everyone. It helps others a lot though, so it’s a case by case...
I watched the video you shared, it was as very inspiring. I will definitely look for more videos/podcasts that are motivating/inspiring.
I am sending you a friend request, and would love to hear more about your experience with the holistic approach so far.
Sally
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I’m so happy to hear!! I’m glad to hear things are working so much better for you. It also gives me hope. Thank you for sharingDebLaBounty wrote: »@veggiesnyoga I guess I should have told you how things turned out! The first antidepressant worked okay for a while, but then the doctor listened to my feedback and switched me to a second one which really did the trick. I went to one counselor for about two months. I discussed my old relationship, eating issues, stress at work, feeling stuck. I felt like I managed to feel like myself again with the therapy and medication support. (And as an aside, trying natural remedies like St. John's wort and lavender oil or whatever didn't even begin to help, so my advice is to give medical doctors a try first.). My long term result: stress is less stressful, I feel more in charge of my own life, I eventually fell in love again, I'm married and a mom. I've lost 30 pounds using MFP this year.
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veggiesnyoga wrote: »Hi. I’ve been on this website for a while. I lost a lot of weight a couple of years ago, went from being in the 170s to low 110s. Then gained about 10 and hovered in the low 120s for a while. I got motivated to start losing weight when I started dating my ex. We got engaged, were supposed to get married this year. We broke up 3 months ago. I had surgery 3 weeks ago and haven’t been able to exercise. And had to take time off work. And didn’t go out of town for the holidays so basically alone. My family is in a different country. I’ve been bingeing every night. I’m 129 today and feel much heavier. And I know that I’m on the way to old patterns and the old body that I hate. I try throwing away trigger foods but then I end up buying others again that become trigger foods. If I don’t buy snacks I feel deprived and binge on anything else. If I buy even the 100 cal ones I will eat them all in one sitting. An example of just now. I ate a good, filling dinner, then ate all this: 4 muffins stuffed with sunflower seed butter and chocolate (bar), then 100 calorie pack of cashews, then 100 calorie pack crackers, then a big box of crackers (5 servings), with a whole box of crumbled feta, then the whole box of the shortbread chocolate cookies. I feel disgusted with myself. I know everything that I need to do : count calories, walk,..I know it’s a mind thing. I’m relatively smart. I’ve done this before I know how it works. Yet I feel helpless. And horrible. I bought puzzles and adult coloring books (don’t laugh) because they keep my hands occupied. I can’t workout for another 3 weeks because of the surgery). And it’s pretty cold and snowing where I live now. Anyone out there struggling like me and has any advice? Thank you.
I have sobbed my way through this thread. You have been through so much and you are still standing, so that is a testament to your strength and endurance. Keep reminding yourself of your great value. Remember that this, too, shall pass. Put on some upbeat music that you love and dance. Do you have a hobby that you haven't worked on lately? Something like knitting, scrapbooking, coin collecting, reading or whatever? Don't put pressure on yourself about your eating.
I find that if I can resist taking that first bite, soon the urge to eat goes away. Sometimes I set the timer for 10 minutes and tell myself that if I still want "that food" when the dinger goes off, I can have it. Usually by the time it rings, I'm back in control Wishing you all the best. Take care
Thank you so much for your kind words dancing always helps!! I like the timer idea, I will try it next time the urge hits wishing you the best too 1 -
DebLaBounty wrote: »@veggiesnyoga I guess I should have told you how things turned out! The first antidepressant worked okay for a while, but then the doctor listened to my feedback and switched me to a second one which really did the trick. I went to one counselor for about two months. I discussed my old relationship, eating issues, stress at work, feeling stuck. I felt like I managed to feel like myself again with the therapy and medication support. (And as an aside, trying natural remedies like St. John's wort and lavender oil or whatever didn't even begin to help, so my advice is to give medical doctors a try first.). My long term result: stress is less stressful, I feel more in charge of my own life, I eventually fell in love again, I'm married and a mom. I've lost 30 pounds using MFP this year.
Awesome story! Thanks for sharing that.
I do worry when people want to try the alternative medicine route.
To quote Tim Minchin: Alternative medicine has either not been proved to work or been proved not to work. What do you call alternative medicine that works? Medicine.2 -
veggiesnyoga wrote: »walkswithfire4598 wrote: »Hi Lady.....life isn't easy...And when it isn't easy human nature often chooses to make it harder.
Punishing ourselves for the occurrences or events that have found their way into our path.
Food....well often it's easier to hide behind this game of control than it is to face what is truly occurring.
You feel unworthy....and believe that you don't deserve to be happy and that it is you who in some part is responsible for the events that have taken place. It's a lot harder to face this fact....that we don't think we are meant to be happy...or we are not worthy enough....that we and others simply don't love ourselves enough....
So we hide behind another trigger. In your case and many of us....food.
Not easy to hear....but you have a choice.
See what you are doing and be honest with yourself as to why you are doing it.....
That maybe even at your best....your version of your physical best...you weren't good enough to be successful in love. And so....your foundation has been rocked.
You don't actually want to be at your physical best...for all it did resulted in hurt anyway...
Hence no true to desire to alter your binging.
Choice...see what you are doing and why...and if you are happy with that...be kind to you and allow it a while.
If your not happy....choose to alter it. Hour by hour. If you manage 24hrs...you'll be well on your way to breaking your cycle.
Trust me....my life is at the very depths I could ever have imagined. I see what I am doing and why....and now I too will make choices.
Love to you xxx
Hey.. your message made me cry, because it felt so true. You’re very insightful. I hope that you are making some great choices for yourself now too. You’re right, hour by hour. Today had been good, and I’m determined to keep it that way. Reading through all these helpful comments from amazingly compassionate people including yourself is keeping me on track, giving me lots to think about.
Thank you thank you, and lots of love back.
I agree...I am loving reading all of your experiences. I have found sometimes just saying...'just do the next right thing next...minute by minute'.
@veggiesnyoga - thank you for your courageous self coming forward! It is a vulnerable place to have written your experience.
Life will get better...when you've hit your rock bottom...there is no place to go except 'up'...keep the faith:))
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DebLaBounty wrote: »@veggiesnyoga I guess I should have told you how things turned out! The first antidepressant worked okay for a while, but then the doctor listened to my feedback and switched me to a second one which really did the trick. I went to one counselor for about two months. I discussed my old relationship, eating issues, stress at work, feeling stuck. I felt like I managed to feel like myself again with the therapy and medication support. (And as an aside, trying natural remedies like St. John's wort and lavender oil or whatever didn't even begin to help, so my advice is to give medical doctors a try first.). My long term result: stress is less stressful, I feel more in charge of my own life, I eventually fell in love again, I'm married and a mom. I've lost 30 pounds using MFP this year.
Awesome story! Thanks for sharing that.
I do worry when people want to try the alternative medicine route.
To quote Tim Minchin: Alternative medicine has either not been proved to work or been proved not to work. What do you call alternative medicine that works? Medicine.
I just want to say how much I absolutely agree with this. I was on antidepressants for some years, and it took me a long time to agree to it. But with the medication I got enough energy so I could finally start working with a therapist (or even get up in the mornings).
Medications such as antidepressants get a bad rep, but they do save lives.4 -
veggiesnyoga wrote: »walkswithfire4598 wrote: »Hi Lady.....life isn't easy...And when it isn't easy human nature often chooses to make it harder.
Punishing ourselves for the occurrences or events that have found their way into our path.
Food....well often it's easier to hide behind this game of control than it is to face what is truly occurring.
You feel unworthy....and believe that you don't deserve to be happy and that it is you who in some part is responsible for the events that have taken place. It's a lot harder to face this fact....that we don't think we are meant to be happy...or we are not worthy enough....that we and others simply don't love ourselves enough....
So we hide behind another trigger. In your case and many of us....food.
Not easy to hear....but you have a choice.
See what you are doing and be honest with yourself as to why you are doing it.....
That maybe even at your best....your version of your physical best...you weren't good enough to be successful in love. And so....your foundation has been rocked.
You don't actually want to be at your physical best...for all it did resulted in hurt anyway...
Hence no true to desire to alter your binging.
Choice...see what you are doing and why...and if you are happy with that...be kind to you and allow it a while.
If your not happy....choose to alter it. Hour by hour. If you manage 24hrs...you'll be well on your way to breaking your cycle.
Trust me....my life is at the very depths I could ever have imagined. I see what I am doing and why....and now I too will make choices.
Love to you xxx
Hey.. your message made me cry, because it felt so true. You’re very insightful. I hope that you are making some great choices for yourself now too. You’re right, hour by hour. Today had been good, and I’m determined to keep it that way. Reading through all these helpful comments from amazingly compassionate people including yourself is keeping me on track, giving me lots to think about.
Thank you thank you, and lots of love back.
I agree...I am loving reading all of your experiences. I have found sometimes just saying...'just do the next right thing next...minute by minute'.
@veggiesnyoga - thank you for your courageous self coming forward! It is a vulnerable place to have written your experience.
Life will get better...when you've hit your rock bottom...there is no place to go except 'up'...keep the faith:))
Thank you for your kind words I’m glad that reading all the comments is helping other people too ❤️ 0 -
veggiesnyoga wrote: »Hi. I’ve been on this website for a while. I lost a lot of weight a couple of years ago, went from being in the 170s to low 110s. Then gained about 10 and hovered in the low 120s for a while. I got motivated to start losing weight when I started dating my ex. We got engaged, were supposed to get married this year. We broke up 3 months ago. I had surgery 3 weeks ago and haven’t been able to exercise. And had to take time off work. And didn’t go out of town for the holidays so basically alone. My family is in a different country. I’ve been bingeing every night. I’m 129 today and feel much heavier. And I know that I’m on the way to old patterns and the old body that I hate. I try throwing away trigger foods but then I end up buying others again that become trigger foods. If I don’t buy snacks I feel deprived and binge on anything else. If I buy even the 100 cal ones I will eat them all in one sitting. An example of just now. I ate a good, filling dinner, then ate all this: 4 muffins stuffed with sunflower seed butter and chocolate (bar), then 100 calorie pack of cashews, then 100 calorie pack crackers, then a big box of crackers (5 servings), with a whole box of crumbled feta, then the whole box of the shortbread chocolate cookies. I feel disgusted with myself. I know everything that I need to do : count calories, walk,..I know it’s a mind thing. I’m relatively smart. I’ve done this before I know how it works. Yet I feel helpless. And horrible. I bought puzzles and adult coloring books (don’t laugh) because they keep my hands occupied. I can’t workout for another 3 weeks because of the surgery). And it’s pretty cold and snowing where I live now. Anyone out there struggling like me and has any advice? Thank you.
This broke my heart. For several reason I won’t go into how much this hit home for me. I’m just so sorry to know someone is hurting this much. Especially at this time of year. And it makes me realize if I want that healing for you I should want that for myself and allow the future to unfold in a better way.
I did get on medication. And found something that has been immensely important in getting out of some distructive patterns. I got lucky and the first option was all I needed. I hope you find something that helps if you decide to go that route. I find a combination of medication, consistent logging, sleep, and self love goes a long way. Here for you anytime.
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oh gosh...good0
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