Apparently Pet Names Are Offensive

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  • loriannmartin
    loriannmartin Posts: 209 Member
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    i am guilty of pet names... i am not from the south. i am from Pennsylvania, and if i would offend any they can delete me as well cause this is who i am :-)
  • Sgriffin2382
    Sgriffin2382 Posts: 360 Member
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    That's just how we do it here. We are personal and polite. I used to work with a lady from up north who would get mad at me when I called her ma'am. I'm sorry, where I am from that is a form of respect. I don't care if you are older than me or younger. You are ma'am or sir. My momma raised me right ;-)
  • sandy729
    sandy729 Posts: 232 Member
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    It may be this way for you. But I have a few MFP friends I plan on staying in touch with for a very long time.

    I personally wouldn't get offended if someone used pets names. This journey can be stressful and knowing someone genuinely cares goes a long way. Keep them coming hun :flowerforyou:



    Honestly I think you're being too sensitive about it. If you offend someone then they aren't really your friends. On here we don't really know most of the people we are "friends" with, they won't be our friends in 50 years either.

    I'm from Wisconsin and use pet names but only for people I REALLY know or care about, good friends and my spouse. Not strangers here.
  • chelekaz
    chelekaz Posts: 871 Member
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    It's okay sweetie, I use these names all of the time and I am from the Northeast. Oh, and honey, don't let anyone beat you down. Though I can understand some being hesitant by it merely because they may have a significant other who wouldn't appreciate it.

    Otherwise Sugar, just keep doing what you are doing...

    (Wonder if I annoy my MFP friends for using these names as well....)
  • Thomasm198
    Thomasm198 Posts: 3,189 Member
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    Sheesh, with my line of work I get called the complete opposite of nice names all the time.

    I have no problem with anyone calling me "sugar, pet, darling, sweetie" or anything else along those lines. It's much better than being called ******, *******, *****, *******, *******. :laugh:
  • TiffMax
    TiffMax Posts: 70
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    I grew up in florida and now live in wisconsin. IMHO pet names are okay girlfriend to girlfreind but here or on facebook or really any other place it just isnt looked at as appropriate. You never know what kind of relationship the person has with their significant other and why put out there any doubt. While i agree it is not your problem what their relationship may be, it is kind to be considerate and refrain -especially if someone lets you know that it doesnt work for them. i dont think it was meant to be a personal attack on you- it just didnt work for him. Forgive, move on, and try to be more open to other peoples feelings on it in the future.
  • TheMaidOfAstolat
    TheMaidOfAstolat Posts: 3,222 Member
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    I had something similar happen to me. The guy has a new gf and she got all wound up over the fact that I called him Hon. I'm a Georgia girl...we call everyone Hon, Darlin', Sug, Dear....ect. He went off on me and I finally had to delete him off my friends list on here, on FB, and e-mail, and phone. We had been friends long before this woman came into his life and he chose to cut me out even though we were only friends...some people just can't handle it.
  • 1smemae94
    1smemae94 Posts: 365 Member
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    I'm from the north and i have no problem with it. Honestly all my friends think it's kinda funny that i call then sweetie, darlin', hunny, etc. I have no problems with it, and noone i know does either.
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
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    Since I really don't know anyone on here at a personal level, I wouldn't use pet names or what I refer to them as terms of endearment. I guess I'm reserved in that manner. That being said though - I think it's very charming when I hear someone with a southern accent say honey or darling....sounds so lilting and comforting:)))
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    Pet names are fine if and only if the recipients are okay with it. I'm a southerner, too. I get the hospitality thing. But just like it's rude to call someone by his first name if he prefers to be called Mr. So-and-so, it's rude to call someone "honey" or "sweetie" or "darling" if they aren't comfortable with it.

    He made it clear he wasn't cool with it, and the best way to handle that was probably to say "Sorry, it won't happen again." That's what I do if I call some woman "ma'am" and she gets pissy about it (in the south, it's a show of respect, not a way to point out how old someone is, as it seems to be in the northern states).
  • TNAJackson
    TNAJackson Posts: 686 Member
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    I'm personally not fond of pet names. I don't mind it at all if it's toward someone of the same sex, but when you are talking about a woman to a man or a man to a woman, I don't really think it's acceptable. My husband wouldn't want another man, cyber friend or not, calling me honey or darlin' and I wouldn't want another woman calling my husband any of those names either. But that's just my personal opinion...
  • foodfight247
    foodfight247 Posts: 767 Member
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    I love pet names, but generally keep them for people I care about.

    The only one I hate.....with such loathing....is in a conversation when someone puts "love" at the end.......ughhh...really gets my back up....but thats because there's a personal reason behind it......my ex had a close female friend (who is still his friend to this day -uggh)....yeah, you can imagine...TWICE......anyhow.different story...she used the word love all the time with my ex and it drove me round the bend.....especially when i had a disagreement with my ex one day and he used the word love....grrr....lets just say I.nearly put him through the wall!!!!

    Otherwise, any others such as Babes, sweetheart, sweetpea, hun, honey......etc.....I love hearing and using those.
  • dragonbait0126
    dragonbait0126 Posts: 568 Member
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    I'm only offended because your from Bama (GO REBELS!). haha. j/k.

    I'm from Mississippi and call everyone sweetie. My best friend's kids are "my loves" (as in "hello, my loves").

    It's a term of endearment and shows that we care about that person whether they are someone we know well or a customer at our place of work (especially if you work in the food industry). Just because I don't know someone on a personal level doesn't mean I don't care about them as a person. If someone can't handle being cared for as a person by someone who doesn't know them personally, that's on them.

    For those who are freaked out or offended..it is not meant as such and is only meant out of love for our fellow humans. :heart:
  • Sj20fame
    Sj20fame Posts: 205 Member
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    Hmmm, I've met some people that do take it offensive, and some people that love it and run with it, lol one of my words is "Thanks, Love!" lol some people are okay with it, some people do this expression :embarassed: and I obviously realize that it makes them uncomfortable, hee hee, Hey at least HE deleted you because of silly words, I had a guy delete a couple days ago, because I called him out on the inapropriet message he sent me! It was a message that My husband would definitly not approve! So that's an *kitten* FOR YA! :grumble:
  • dipsl19
    dipsl19 Posts: 317 Member
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    i think its just weird cause youre a girl and he's a guy.....
  • BamaMomma
    BamaMomma Posts: 53
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    thanks for that, honey!
  • BattyMama
    BattyMama Posts: 136 Member
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    My sweet Im from just out side of Chicago have lived here ALL my life and I use pet names. Its not a south thing dont let it get yay down
  • thordisintho
    thordisintho Posts: 48 Member
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    Don't worry about it, obviously he just didn't share your opinion and/or appreciate your supportive comments.
    I'm Icelandic, just to add perspective from another country and language, and I don't see anything wrong with using pet names for MFP's, friends or family.
    Although, it CAN be inappropriate and offensive, e.g. when customers at work call me "elskan" (sort of (my) love in Icelandic). Most of the time it's just people who are just nice to everybody, but once in a while it's some alpha-player-dude or a creepy old man/woman... and that really pushes my buttons!

    You are not inappropriate! Keep at it hun! ;)
  • writtenINthestars
    writtenINthestars Posts: 1,933 Member
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    I grew up in florida and now live in wisconsin. IMHO pet names are okay girlfriend to girlfreind but here or on facebook or really any other place it just isnt looked at as appropriate. You never know what kind of relationship the person has with their significant other and why put out there any doubt. While i agree it is not your problem what their relationship may be, it is kind to be considerate and refrain -especially if someone lets you know that it doesnt work for them. i dont think it was meant to be a personal attack on you- it just didnt work for him. Forgive, move on, and try to be more open to other peoples feelings on it in the future.

    THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • tncmom
    tncmom Posts: 79
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    That's just how we do it here. We are personal and polite. I used to work with a lady from up north who would get mad at me when I called her ma'am. I'm sorry, where I am from that is a form of respect. I don't care if you are older than me or younger. You are ma'am or sir. My momma raised me right ;-)

    ma'am is one thing, but honey, darlin', sweetpea, etc. are another. I have a name, use it. Use my screen name, but please don't call me honey, darlin' or sweet pea.

    I don't think I would unfriend you over it but it would bother me. Maybe it comes from working in a male dominated field, I know what the heck I am talking about and I don't need some old guy calling me darlin' because he thinks I don't.

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