Apparently Pet Names Are Offensive

24

Replies

  • TNAJackson
    TNAJackson Posts: 686 Member
    I'm personally not fond of pet names. I don't mind it at all if it's toward someone of the same sex, but when you are talking about a woman to a man or a man to a woman, I don't really think it's acceptable. My husband wouldn't want another man, cyber friend or not, calling me honey or darlin' and I wouldn't want another woman calling my husband any of those names either. But that's just my personal opinion...
  • foodfight247
    foodfight247 Posts: 767 Member
    I love pet names, but generally keep them for people I care about.

    The only one I hate.....with such loathing....is in a conversation when someone puts "love" at the end.......ughhh...really gets my back up....but thats because there's a personal reason behind it......my ex had a close female friend (who is still his friend to this day -uggh)....yeah, you can imagine...TWICE......anyhow.different story...she used the word love all the time with my ex and it drove me round the bend.....especially when i had a disagreement with my ex one day and he used the word love....grrr....lets just say I.nearly put him through the wall!!!!

    Otherwise, any others such as Babes, sweetheart, sweetpea, hun, honey......etc.....I love hearing and using those.
  • dragonbait0126
    dragonbait0126 Posts: 568 Member
    I'm only offended because your from Bama (GO REBELS!). haha. j/k.

    I'm from Mississippi and call everyone sweetie. My best friend's kids are "my loves" (as in "hello, my loves").

    It's a term of endearment and shows that we care about that person whether they are someone we know well or a customer at our place of work (especially if you work in the food industry). Just because I don't know someone on a personal level doesn't mean I don't care about them as a person. If someone can't handle being cared for as a person by someone who doesn't know them personally, that's on them.

    For those who are freaked out or offended..it is not meant as such and is only meant out of love for our fellow humans. :heart:
  • Sj20fame
    Sj20fame Posts: 205 Member
    Hmmm, I've met some people that do take it offensive, and some people that love it and run with it, lol one of my words is "Thanks, Love!" lol some people are okay with it, some people do this expression :embarassed: and I obviously realize that it makes them uncomfortable, hee hee, Hey at least HE deleted you because of silly words, I had a guy delete a couple days ago, because I called him out on the inapropriet message he sent me! It was a message that My husband would definitly not approve! So that's an *kitten* FOR YA! :grumble:
  • dipsl19
    dipsl19 Posts: 317 Member
    i think its just weird cause youre a girl and he's a guy.....
  • thanks for that, honey!
  • BattyMama
    BattyMama Posts: 136 Member
    My sweet Im from just out side of Chicago have lived here ALL my life and I use pet names. Its not a south thing dont let it get yay down
  • thordisintho
    thordisintho Posts: 48 Member
    Don't worry about it, obviously he just didn't share your opinion and/or appreciate your supportive comments.
    I'm Icelandic, just to add perspective from another country and language, and I don't see anything wrong with using pet names for MFP's, friends or family.
    Although, it CAN be inappropriate and offensive, e.g. when customers at work call me "elskan" (sort of (my) love in Icelandic). Most of the time it's just people who are just nice to everybody, but once in a while it's some alpha-player-dude or a creepy old man/woman... and that really pushes my buttons!

    You are not inappropriate! Keep at it hun! ;)
  • writtenINthestars
    writtenINthestars Posts: 1,933 Member
    I grew up in florida and now live in wisconsin. IMHO pet names are okay girlfriend to girlfreind but here or on facebook or really any other place it just isnt looked at as appropriate. You never know what kind of relationship the person has with their significant other and why put out there any doubt. While i agree it is not your problem what their relationship may be, it is kind to be considerate and refrain -especially if someone lets you know that it doesnt work for them. i dont think it was meant to be a personal attack on you- it just didnt work for him. Forgive, move on, and try to be more open to other peoples feelings on it in the future.

    THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • tncmom
    tncmom Posts: 79
    That's just how we do it here. We are personal and polite. I used to work with a lady from up north who would get mad at me when I called her ma'am. I'm sorry, where I am from that is a form of respect. I don't care if you are older than me or younger. You are ma'am or sir. My momma raised me right ;-)

    ma'am is one thing, but honey, darlin', sweetpea, etc. are another. I have a name, use it. Use my screen name, but please don't call me honey, darlin' or sweet pea.

    I don't think I would unfriend you over it but it would bother me. Maybe it comes from working in a male dominated field, I know what the heck I am talking about and I don't need some old guy calling me darlin' because he thinks I don't.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    I think it's fine, Sweetheart.
  • lizdavis07
    lizdavis07 Posts: 766 Member
    i dont mind most pet names but DONT NOT call me "baby" if i dont really know you. Hell, even if i know you i dont wanna be called baby unless you're my boyfriend. I dont know why, but that word always urks me
  • Sj20fame
    Sj20fame Posts: 205 Member
    That's just how we do it here. We are personal and polite. I used to work with a lady from up north who would get mad at me when I called her ma'am. I'm sorry, where I am from that is a form of respect. I don't care if you are older than me or younger. You are ma'am or sir. My momma raised me right ;-)

    ma'am is one thing, but honey, darlin', sweetpea, etc. are another. I have a name, use it. Use my screen name, but please don't call me honey, darlin' or sweet pea.

    I don't think I would unfriend you over it but it would bother me. Maybe it comes from working in a male dominated field, I know what the heck I am talking about and I don't need some old guy calling me darlin' because he thinks I don't.

    It's true, some words can be creepy, some words are okay, If it's women to women, I don't mind it, but if it's man to women, I just think about what my husband would say.....and go from handeling it there....
  • vdavis_89
    vdavis_89 Posts: 334
    Oh man I just had a blonde moment :( I thought this was about actual pet names.... like cats and dogs.... dogs name is Jack Daniels ... my fish all have names along the bar/drink line also.... my bad :)
    On another note..... pet names are soooo normal these days! I'm in the apartment/real estate business and i get called Sweety, honey, darlin, dear.... on a daily basis :) It makes me feel good :) like they think im a nice person its great... I mean I would call a total dousche bag sweetheart.... well maybe outta sarcasm i guess :)
  • orleansmith
    orleansmith Posts: 60 Member
    I, too, grew up in the south and I call people hun, sugar, dear, etc - men and women - without giving it a second thought. Most people don't mind but there are a few who aren't comfortable and I try to watch what I say. Working in accounting (and also in a hotel) it's a little more conservative, especially dealing with people from all over. If I strike up a rapport with someone, I will become more casual in how I address them, but I also try to respect their wishes. It might not seem intimate to me (or you) but someone else may feel that way. Of course, if they don't address the actual issue (ie: just deleting your comments in lieu of asking if you would try to refrain from the terms of endearment) then it just leads to bad feelings on both sides. I curb what I say here because it's difficult to gauge how someone will respond.
  • scubacat
    scubacat Posts: 346 Member
    Southern born and raised here so I totally understand. I think it was a bit uptight to delete you as a friend, etc. A private message saying it was uncomfortable would have been sufficient and then left at that.
  • wriglucy
    wriglucy Posts: 1,064 Member
    Whoa...I'm from WI..and I think it's different, but sweet when people say that! I don't take it as anything bad or mean....
    Now that I live in the south, I hear it ALLLL the time plus being called "mam" at 29...I'm getting used to. In the north (WI) to be called mam when you were young was seen as more offensive.

    Funny how cultures within it's own country have different mannerisms. (or however you spell it ) :)
  • liftingbro
    liftingbro Posts: 2,029 Member
    I was born and bred in MN.

    I don't think most people here would be offended, though the further North you go in the state the more stoic we get. It's not part of daily life here from most people so it would probably signal you're not from around here. There are exceptions of course, but having been in the South and having relatives that live in Mississippi I would say it is a lot less common here.

    As others have said, I think that it depends on how you know each other. I think if I knew you were a Southerner or someone I knew personally I wouldn't think anything of it. However, a woman I don't know anything about might make me think she has other intentions if she's calling me darling and honey all of the time.

    The people I know here in MN that use pet names a lot generally reserve it for people who they are very close with, like family, spouses and close friends.
  • Some people...pet names are fine and while I didn't get to read every single reply, I just have to say. The majority of MFP'ers don't use their real name for their screen name, most of use a nickname or petname...just sayin.
  • JulieF11
    JulieF11 Posts: 387 Member
    Sometimes I have to remind myself that by allowing someone else to upset me, only gives that other person power in my life. Don't let people hurt your feelings when you are obviously simply offering support and encouragement. One of the beauties of MFP is that you can befriend supportive folks and de-friend the others. I've enjoyed your encouraging comments on my message board and I'm sure many others have too.
  • jujubean1992
    jujubean1992 Posts: 462 Member
    i call everyone!!! hun, sweetie, or boo. and i'm from OHIO! it's just how i am... oh and i forgot doll. :smile: i wouldn't be offended he can f off! lol
  • Riebop
    Riebop Posts: 275
    Honestly, I don't care what anyone calls me. When I worked at Home Depot, I had a co-worker that called me sweetie all the time. He obviously didn't know me well cause well... I'm not that sweet. :P Anyway... A perfect stranger could call me hun, babe, sugar and I wouldn't mind it. It's better than some of the other things that could be said to me.
  • happybunnysbabe57
    happybunnysbabe57 Posts: 191 Member
    i am from Ohio. i kno a bunch of people from here, Pennsylvanian and West Virginia that use those kind of pet names. they use them to anyone they r being nice to or friends with, not just their spouses. so it is alright to use them
  • sweetsarahj
    sweetsarahj Posts: 701 Member
    Meh. I don't like people using pet names for me unless they have earned them.

    But this is the internet, it's not real life. Honestly i wouldn't care if someone on here called me honey, because I'm not likely to meet them ever anyway.

    But when I first start dating someone, if they jump into sweetie-honey-baby territory too soon, that's a big strike against.
  • He writes this back, something along the lines of "I forgot you were Southern. Up here we reserve pet names for our spouse. It freaked me out. I asked my buddies and apparently the use of pet names is more common in the South." RIGHT. I wrote him back and told him, basically, you're mean and shallow and we don't need to be friends."

    lol you think he is mean and shallow but it just seems like you are overly sensitive and uncaring about other people's cultures/backgrounds. You want other people to respect your words and reasoning but you won't respect their's. smh
    That's like a Mexican getting mad at a Texan because they speak tex-mex and use words differently
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    My first wife had a pet name for me. @sshole

    I had one for her too. B!tch.
  • Painten
    Painten Posts: 499 Member
    I'm in the UK here and am as reserved as any other brit and i call people hun all the time. One here, real-life anywhere. Male or female. to be honest i couldn't be bothered messaging everyone who's on my friends list and asking them if it's okay if i occasionally slip a hun on here or there. I just type whatever i want and don't get offended if people unfriend me.
  • Letty_c
    Letty_c Posts: 278 Member
    I live in the north west and most people only use pet names for their spouse or significant other. and maybe your closet friends. I have only three friends that I would consider giving a pet name and wouldn't consider calling a guy friend by a pet name. My husbands has friends that are girls that are from Scotland and they are constantly calling him honey and darling and it took me the longest time for it not to annoy me. At first it was really weird to me, but then I realized they call every one darling.
  • GabriellaMaria
    GabriellaMaria Posts: 150 Member
    omg, i use pet name sall the time...hney, hun honey bunny, bear, sweetie, sweetiepie, chica, ....blah blah blah!!
    i just love using sweet names for people, especially if they seem down, as it always cheers me up-if people are so anal, that it offends them..their loss, not yours!!
    so, sweetiepie honey pops, sugar darlin...u keep on..oh, and add me too if ya want to!!!
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