Apparently Pet Names Are Offensive

Options
1356

Replies

  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Options
    I think it's fine, Sweetheart.
  • lizdavis07
    lizdavis07 Posts: 766 Member
    Options
    i dont mind most pet names but DONT NOT call me "baby" if i dont really know you. Hell, even if i know you i dont wanna be called baby unless you're my boyfriend. I dont know why, but that word always urks me
  • Sj20fame
    Sj20fame Posts: 205 Member
    Options
    That's just how we do it here. We are personal and polite. I used to work with a lady from up north who would get mad at me when I called her ma'am. I'm sorry, where I am from that is a form of respect. I don't care if you are older than me or younger. You are ma'am or sir. My momma raised me right ;-)

    ma'am is one thing, but honey, darlin', sweetpea, etc. are another. I have a name, use it. Use my screen name, but please don't call me honey, darlin' or sweet pea.

    I don't think I would unfriend you over it but it would bother me. Maybe it comes from working in a male dominated field, I know what the heck I am talking about and I don't need some old guy calling me darlin' because he thinks I don't.

    It's true, some words can be creepy, some words are okay, If it's women to women, I don't mind it, but if it's man to women, I just think about what my husband would say.....and go from handeling it there....
  • vdavis_89
    vdavis_89 Posts: 334
    Options
    Oh man I just had a blonde moment :( I thought this was about actual pet names.... like cats and dogs.... dogs name is Jack Daniels ... my fish all have names along the bar/drink line also.... my bad :)
    On another note..... pet names are soooo normal these days! I'm in the apartment/real estate business and i get called Sweety, honey, darlin, dear.... on a daily basis :) It makes me feel good :) like they think im a nice person its great... I mean I would call a total dousche bag sweetheart.... well maybe outta sarcasm i guess :)
  • daniface
    daniface Posts: 338 Member
    Options
    just watch this

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWVfG2mA8Rc&feature=youtube_gdata_player
  • orleansmith
    orleansmith Posts: 61 Member
    Options
    I, too, grew up in the south and I call people hun, sugar, dear, etc - men and women - without giving it a second thought. Most people don't mind but there are a few who aren't comfortable and I try to watch what I say. Working in accounting (and also in a hotel) it's a little more conservative, especially dealing with people from all over. If I strike up a rapport with someone, I will become more casual in how I address them, but I also try to respect their wishes. It might not seem intimate to me (or you) but someone else may feel that way. Of course, if they don't address the actual issue (ie: just deleting your comments in lieu of asking if you would try to refrain from the terms of endearment) then it just leads to bad feelings on both sides. I curb what I say here because it's difficult to gauge how someone will respond.
  • scubacat
    scubacat Posts: 346 Member
    Options
    Southern born and raised here so I totally understand. I think it was a bit uptight to delete you as a friend, etc. A private message saying it was uncomfortable would have been sufficient and then left at that.
  • wriglucy
    wriglucy Posts: 1,064 Member
    Options
    Whoa...I'm from WI..and I think it's different, but sweet when people say that! I don't take it as anything bad or mean....
    Now that I live in the south, I hear it ALLLL the time plus being called "mam" at 29...I'm getting used to. In the north (WI) to be called mam when you were young was seen as more offensive.

    Funny how cultures within it's own country have different mannerisms. (or however you spell it ) :)
  • liftingbro
    liftingbro Posts: 2,029 Member
    Options
    I was born and bred in MN.

    I don't think most people here would be offended, though the further North you go in the state the more stoic we get. It's not part of daily life here from most people so it would probably signal you're not from around here. There are exceptions of course, but having been in the South and having relatives that live in Mississippi I would say it is a lot less common here.

    As others have said, I think that it depends on how you know each other. I think if I knew you were a Southerner or someone I knew personally I wouldn't think anything of it. However, a woman I don't know anything about might make me think she has other intentions if she's calling me darling and honey all of the time.

    The people I know here in MN that use pet names a lot generally reserve it for people who they are very close with, like family, spouses and close friends.
  • KnottyRae
    KnottyRae Posts: 33
    Options
    Some people...pet names are fine and while I didn't get to read every single reply, I just have to say. The majority of MFP'ers don't use their real name for their screen name, most of use a nickname or petname...just sayin.
  • JulieF11
    JulieF11 Posts: 387 Member
    Options
    Sometimes I have to remind myself that by allowing someone else to upset me, only gives that other person power in my life. Don't let people hurt your feelings when you are obviously simply offering support and encouragement. One of the beauties of MFP is that you can befriend supportive folks and de-friend the others. I've enjoyed your encouraging comments on my message board and I'm sure many others have too.
  • jujubean1992
    jujubean1992 Posts: 462 Member
    Options
    i call everyone!!! hun, sweetie, or boo. and i'm from OHIO! it's just how i am... oh and i forgot doll. :smile: i wouldn't be offended he can f off! lol
  • Riebop
    Riebop Posts: 275
    Options
    Honestly, I don't care what anyone calls me. When I worked at Home Depot, I had a co-worker that called me sweetie all the time. He obviously didn't know me well cause well... I'm not that sweet. :P Anyway... A perfect stranger could call me hun, babe, sugar and I wouldn't mind it. It's better than some of the other things that could be said to me.
  • happybunnysbabe57
    happybunnysbabe57 Posts: 191 Member
    Options
    i am from Ohio. i kno a bunch of people from here, Pennsylvanian and West Virginia that use those kind of pet names. they use them to anyone they r being nice to or friends with, not just their spouses. so it is alright to use them
  • sweetsarahj
    sweetsarahj Posts: 701 Member
    Options
    Meh. I don't like people using pet names for me unless they have earned them.

    But this is the internet, it's not real life. Honestly i wouldn't care if someone on here called me honey, because I'm not likely to meet them ever anyway.

    But when I first start dating someone, if they jump into sweetie-honey-baby territory too soon, that's a big strike against.
  • B_L_A_Z_I_A_N
    B_L_A_Z_I_A_N Posts: 151
    Options
    He writes this back, something along the lines of "I forgot you were Southern. Up here we reserve pet names for our spouse. It freaked me out. I asked my buddies and apparently the use of pet names is more common in the South." RIGHT. I wrote him back and told him, basically, you're mean and shallow and we don't need to be friends."

    lol you think he is mean and shallow but it just seems like you are overly sensitive and uncaring about other people's cultures/backgrounds. You want other people to respect your words and reasoning but you won't respect their's. smh
    That's like a Mexican getting mad at a Texan because they speak tex-mex and use words differently
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Options
    My first wife had a pet name for me. @sshole

    I had one for her too. B!tch.
  • Painten
    Painten Posts: 499 Member
    Options
    I'm in the UK here and am as reserved as any other brit and i call people hun all the time. One here, real-life anywhere. Male or female. to be honest i couldn't be bothered messaging everyone who's on my friends list and asking them if it's okay if i occasionally slip a hun on here or there. I just type whatever i want and don't get offended if people unfriend me.
  • Letty_c
    Letty_c Posts: 278 Member
    Options
    I live in the north west and most people only use pet names for their spouse or significant other. and maybe your closet friends. I have only three friends that I would consider giving a pet name and wouldn't consider calling a guy friend by a pet name. My husbands has friends that are girls that are from Scotland and they are constantly calling him honey and darling and it took me the longest time for it not to annoy me. At first it was really weird to me, but then I realized they call every one darling.
  • GabriellaMaria
    GabriellaMaria Posts: 150 Member
    Options
    omg, i use pet name sall the time...hney, hun honey bunny, bear, sweetie, sweetiepie, chica, ....blah blah blah!!
    i just love using sweet names for people, especially if they seem down, as it always cheers me up-if people are so anal, that it offends them..their loss, not yours!!
    so, sweetiepie honey pops, sugar darlin...u keep on..oh, and add me too if ya want to!!!

Categories