Is it okay to like a distant cousin?

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2

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  • Mr_Healthy_Habits
    Mr_Healthy_Habits Posts: 12,588 Member
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    It depends what state you live in really
  • Mandygring
    Mandygring Posts: 704 Member
    edited January 2018
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    I have cousins that married (they weren't blood related but grew up together as first cousins)....the family was very upset. It was weird when ppl try to ask which cousin you're related to...you have to say both.
  • rdevol
    rdevol Posts: 278 Member
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    I used to work with someone who was dating her stepbrother...
  • eccomi_qui
    eccomi_qui Posts: 1,831 Member
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    TeacupsAndToning wrote: »
    So I just looked it up and apparently these are the states that allow you to marry your cousin...?:

    Alabama: First cousins, yes.
    Alaska: First cousins, yes.
    Arizona: First cousins, yes, only if they are over a certain age or cannot bear children. Half cousins, yes.
    California: First cousins, yes.
    Colorado: First cousins, yes.
    Connecticut: First cousins, yes.
    District of Columbia: First cousins, yes.
    Florida: First cousins, yes.
    Georgia: First cousins, yes.
    Hawaii: First cousins, yes.
    Illinois: First cousins, yes, only if they are over a certain age or cannot bear children.
    Indiana: First cousins once removed, yes, only if they are over a certain age or cannot bear children.
    Kansas: Half cousins, yes.
    Louisiana: Marriage between first cousins is not allowed.
    Maine: First cousins, yes, only if they are over a certain age or cannot bear children, or if they get genetic counseling.
    Maryland: First cousins, yes.
    Massachusetts: First cousins, yes.
    Minnesota: No, unless the aboriginal culture of the couple permits cousin marriages.
    Mississippi: Adopted cousins, yes.
    Montana: Half cousins, yes.
    Nebraska: Half cousins, yes.
    Nevada: Half cousins, yes.
    New Jersey: First cousins, yes.
    New Mexico: First cousins, yes.
    New York: First cousins, yes.
    North Carolina: First cousins, yes. Double first cousins are not allowed to get married.
    Oklahoma: Half cousins, yes.
    Oregon: Adopted cousins, yes.
    Rhode Island: First cousins, yes.
    South Carolina: First cousins, yes.
    Tennessee: First cousins, yes.
    Utah: First cousins, yes, only if they are over a certain age or cannot bear children.
    Vermont: First cousins, yes.
    Virginia: First cousins, yes.
    West Virginia: Adopted cousins, yes.
    Wisconsin: First cousins once removed, yes, only if they are over a certain age or cannot bear children.

    Can you please provide Canadian information?
  • Find_Me_Again
    Find_Me_Again Posts: 299 Member
    edited January 2018
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    TeacupsAndToning wrote: »
    So I just looked it up and apparently these are the states that allow you to marry your cousin...?:

    Alabama: First cousins, yes.
    Alaska: First cousins, yes.
    Arizona: First cousins, yes, only if they are over a certain age or cannot bear children. Half cousins, yes.
    California: First cousins, yes.
    Colorado: First cousins, yes.
    Connecticut: First cousins, yes.
    District of Columbia: First cousins, yes.
    Florida: First cousins, yes.
    Georgia: First cousins, yes.
    Hawaii: First cousins, yes.
    Illinois: First cousins, yes, only if they are over a certain age or cannot bear children.
    Indiana: First cousins once removed, yes, only if they are over a certain age or cannot bear children.
    Kansas: Half cousins, yes.
    Louisiana: Marriage between first cousins is not allowed.
    Maine: First cousins, yes, only if they are over a certain age or cannot bear children, or if they get genetic counseling.
    Maryland: First cousins, yes.
    Massachusetts: First cousins, yes.
    Minnesota: No, unless the aboriginal culture of the couple permits cousin marriages.
    Mississippi: Adopted cousins, yes.
    Montana: Half cousins, yes.
    Nebraska: Half cousins, yes.
    Nevada: Half cousins, yes.
    New Jersey: First cousins, yes.
    New Mexico: First cousins, yes.
    New York: First cousins, yes.
    North Carolina: First cousins, yes. Double first cousins are not allowed to get married.
    Oklahoma: Half cousins, yes.
    Oregon: Adopted cousins, yes.
    Rhode Island: First cousins, yes.
    South Carolina: First cousins, yes.
    Tennessee: First cousins, yes.
    Utah: First cousins, yes, only if they are over a certain age or cannot bear children.
    Vermont: First cousins, yes.
    Virginia: First cousins, yes.
    West Virginia: Adopted cousins, yes.
    Wisconsin: First cousins once removed, yes, only if they are over a certain age or cannot bear children.

    I'm disgusted with my state now. Not that I wasn't already...fricken taxes.

    Eta. Wtf if a double first cousin??
  • sdereski
    sdereski Posts: 3,406 Member
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    http://davidnewland.com/2010/07/can-do-in-canada.html
  • Mr_Healthy_Habits
    Mr_Healthy_Habits Posts: 12,588 Member
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    TeacupsAndToning wrote: »
    So I just looked it up and apparently these are the states that allow you to marry your cousin...?:

    Alabama: First cousins, yes.
    Alaska: First cousins, yes.
    Arizona: First cousins, yes, only if they are over a certain age or cannot bear children. Half cousins, yes.
    California: First cousins, yes.
    Colorado: First cousins, yes.
    Connecticut: First cousins, yes.
    District of Columbia: First cousins, yes.
    Florida: First cousins, yes.
    Georgia: First cousins, yes.
    Hawaii: First cousins, yes.
    Illinois: First cousins, yes, only if they are over a certain age or cannot bear children.
    Indiana: First cousins once removed, yes, only if they are over a certain age or cannot bear children.
    Kansas: Half cousins, yes.
    Louisiana: Marriage between first cousins is not allowed.
    Maine: First cousins, yes, only if they are over a certain age or cannot bear children, or if they get genetic counseling.
    Maryland: First cousins, yes.
    Massachusetts: First cousins, yes.
    Minnesota: No, unless the aboriginal culture of the couple permits cousin marriages.
    Mississippi: Adopted cousins, yes.
    Montana: Half cousins, yes.
    Nebraska: Half cousins, yes.
    Nevada: Half cousins, yes.
    New Jersey: First cousins, yes.
    New Mexico: First cousins, yes.
    New York: First cousins, yes.
    North Carolina: First cousins, yes. Double first cousins are not allowed to get married.
    Oklahoma: Half cousins, yes.
    Oregon: Adopted cousins, yes.
    Rhode Island: First cousins, yes.
    South Carolina: First cousins, yes.
    Tennessee: First cousins, yes.
    Utah: First cousins, yes, only if they are over a certain age or cannot bear children.
    Vermont: First cousins, yes.
    Virginia: First cousins, yes.
    West Virginia: Adopted cousins, yes.
    Wisconsin: First cousins once removed, yes, only if they are over a certain age or cannot bear children.

    Told you :smirk:
    But California... Smh
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
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    My Aunt and Uncle are first cousins. When they decided to marry, it caused a huge problem and division among family members. However, I have to say that they just celebrated their 65th anniversary together and I have never seen a happier couple.
  • Mr_Healthy_Habits
    Mr_Healthy_Habits Posts: 12,588 Member
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    I guess what was meant to be, will inevitably be...
  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
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    TeacupsAndToning wrote: »
    TheRoadDog wrote: »
    My Aunt and Uncle are first cousins. When they decided to marry, it caused a huge problem and division among family members. However, I have to say that they just celebrated their 65th anniversary together and I have never seen a happier couple.

    Well it makes it easier because they don't have to split time between families during the holidays...

    Oh, well, when you put it that way...
  • Espressocycle
    Espressocycle Posts: 2,245 Member
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    The answer is yes. It's fine.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
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    TeacupsAndToning wrote: »
    TheRoadDog wrote: »
    My Aunt and Uncle are first cousins. When they decided to marry, it caused a huge problem and division among family members. However, I have to say that they just celebrated their 65th anniversary together and I have never seen a happier couple.

    Well it makes it easier because they don't have to split time between families during the holidays...

    Unfortunately, it split the family for about 45 years.
  • JillianRumrill
    JillianRumrill Posts: 335 Member
    edited January 2018
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    rdevol wrote: »
    I used to work with someone who was dating her stepbrother...
    That reminds me of a conversation I had with an uncle of mine, he worked once in a prison helping inmates get their GED and one of them said "I just wanna go home and marry my sister" ಠ_ಠ this was in a rural part of Upstate NY.
  • toned_thugs_n_harmony
    toned_thugs_n_harmony Posts: 1,001 Member
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    TeacupsAndToning wrote: »
    So I just looked it up and apparently these are the states that allow you to marry your cousin...?:

    Alabama: First cousins, yes.
    Alaska: First cousins, yes.
    Arizona: First cousins, yes, only if they are over a certain age or cannot bear children. Half cousins, yes.
    California: First cousins, yes.
    Colorado: First cousins, yes.
    Connecticut: First cousins, yes.
    District of Columbia: First cousins, yes.
    Florida: First cousins, yes.
    Georgia: First cousins, yes.
    Hawaii: First cousins, yes.
    Illinois: First cousins, yes, only if they are over a certain age or cannot bear children.
    Indiana: First cousins once removed, yes, only if they are over a certain age or cannot bear children.
    Kansas: Half cousins, yes.
    Louisiana: Marriage between first cousins is not allowed.
    Maine: First cousins, yes, only if they are over a certain age or cannot bear children, or if they get genetic counseling.
    Maryland: First cousins, yes.
    Massachusetts: First cousins, yes.
    Minnesota: No, unless the aboriginal culture of the couple permits cousin marriages.
    Mississippi: Adopted cousins, yes.
    Montana: Half cousins, yes.
    Nebraska: Half cousins, yes.
    Nevada: Half cousins, yes.
    New Jersey: First cousins, yes.
    New Mexico: First cousins, yes.
    New York: First cousins, yes.
    North Carolina: First cousins, yes. Double first cousins are not allowed to get married.
    Oklahoma: Half cousins, yes.
    Oregon: Adopted cousins, yes.
    Rhode Island: First cousins, yes.
    South Carolina: First cousins, yes.
    Tennessee: First cousins, yes.
    Utah: First cousins, yes, only if they are over a certain age or cannot bear children.
    Vermont: First cousins, yes.
    Virginia: First cousins, yes.
    West Virginia: Adopted cousins, yes.
    Wisconsin: First cousins once removed, yes, only if they are over a certain age or cannot bear children.

    Minnesota and Louisiana are the only two to basically just say no? Wow.
  • chubby_checkers
    chubby_checkers Posts: 2,353 Member
    edited January 2018
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    Find_Me_Again wrote: »
    TeacupsAndToning wrote: »
    So I just looked it up and apparently these are the states that allow you to marry your cousin...?:

    I'm disgusted with my state now. Not that I wasn't already...fricken taxes.

    Eta. Wtf if a double first cousin??

    Double first cousins are when two siblings of one family have babies with two siblings of another family. Their offspring are related to each other through both of their parents.
  • Merkavar
    Merkavar Posts: 3,082 Member
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    Workout4Health wrote: »
    happimess1 wrote: »
    whether distant or clingy, he/she is still family. You have to like them or atleast act like you do.


    But how some people were on here saying if it ain't a grandma, uncle, cousin, or aunt, they might as well just be called a friend? I wonder what they have to say about this.

    So I think my comment about any one outside of grandparent, uncle, cousin, aunt, nephew, niece is essentially a friend/not related is backed up by other peoples posts here.

    Looks like legally most states allow even first cousins to marry. But if first cousins are illegal mariages, they tend to make no mention of second cousins. Hence my comment about anyone outside of cousins, ie 2nd or 3rd cousins are essentially friends or unrelated people.

    Your asking about 2nd and 3rd cousins, so legally your all ok, right?

    Morally that’s more up to you. Same for religiously,.

    All marriages have the possibility of family drama, so dating a 2nd cousin or 3rd could to, but that’s just a risk you have to take. Like in some states dating someone from a different race/religion could cause drama.

    I guess just make sure the 3rd cousin is tallish so it is worth the drama.

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