Less alcohol- January 2018- one day at a time
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Will_Run_for_Food wrote: »About 10 years ago I had my first anxiety attack. Not knowing what it was at the time, it scared the YNW out of me. It would subside, and then hit me again. It didn't take long to realise there was a pattern: I had anxiety attacks the day after a night of heavy drinking. That was enough for me to cut down. For example, if I have a big presentation at work, I won't drink the days leading up to it because I know it will make an already stressful situation even worse.
That said, I still can't give it up altogether. Stress surprisingly isn't my weakness. It's boredom. Or at least that's what I tell myself. There are still days when I drink too much and wake up the next day in a panic that something bad is going to happen. If, for example, a loved one got into an accident (or worse), or something happened with the house or car, I know I wouldn't be able to deal with it while nursing a hangover. I've also missed baby showers and other social gatherings because I just couldn't say no to one more drink the night before. And I feel like such an *kitten*. Too much alcohol turns me into a weak, anxious mess - a different person. I know that without alcohol I am a happy, capable person - the real me.
I am really grateful to have forums like this for support. I had one drink on New Year's Day but nothing yesterday. Woke up feeling pretty darn good. It's just a matter of holding on to that feeling during the witching hour.
I never got anxiety hangovers until after college. But they are REAL and they SUCK. Most of my hangovers these days are filled with anxiety. I hate them.1 -
crazykatlady820 wrote: »I was using alcohol to self-medicate anxiety and depression as well. That's what made the first several weeks of quitting drinking pretty rough. But I have an excellent support system in place through some family members and friends and that's how I got through each day.
As soon as I quit drinking some events happened that were very hard to deal with. My husband got in a car accident that made him miss a week of work. He's our sole source of income. Our budget is already tight and everything that followed (car rental, deductible,
Christmas) made for a rough few months. We're still getting back on our feet from it. Then, my dad is hospitalized and still fighting for his life in ICU. It was/is hard to face all that without alcohol. But I did.
Anyway, it's been almost 3 months and that anxiety that I was using alcohol for is completely manageable without it. In fact, it's more manageable without it. I wasn't expecting that.
What makes me successful in facing my anxiety and depression while giving up alcohol is my support system which includes my doctor. It also includes you guys and being able to share here. And I use the blog feature on here (set to private) to help me sort through feelings. Although my blog isn't working at the moment.
If anyone is trying to manage anxiety and/or depression while trying to cut back or quit drinking my first suggestion is to talk with your doctor and get them involved in your plan. And then find someone you can confide in and talk to if you need it.
Wow, this is great. Thank you @crazykatlady.
I may talk to my doctor Friday about this. Thing is, I have an Ativan prescription, that I rely on too heavily. Meaning I turn to it too often to help my anxiety. So, in turn, I run out and need a refill too often. So I'm at that point right now where I'm putting off asking for a refill because it's too soon. So I have no pharmaceutical relief to turn to, which is why I'm turning even more to alcohol. Ugh. I hate it. Last night I completely lost my *kitten* and finally just had to go to bed to end it.
Anyway, I've always steered away from really talking to my doc about it because I don't want to appear like I'm "drug-seeking". But I obviously need more help than I'm getting with my anxiety. My husband, god love him, just doesn't get it.
I don't feel like I have many other people I can turn to without judgement. 4 -
Drying this January (from yesterday-- I drank wine on New Year's Day). Over the past year or so, I have managed to drink a lot less, a few times going a couple of weeks without, and congratulating myself for each night I abstain, marking on my calendar. I do not like how alcohol affects my sleep patterns; I sleep easily after wine, and wake up early (that has often been a good thing, though). My sleep without is deeper and more restorative. I too, also feel a kind of panic when the afternoon transitions into the night, but often, when I'm over that, it's okay. I also notice craving wine when I see people drinking out of wine glasses on tv. Another (major) reason for abstaining is that it takes up too much "mental real estate" .... that is, planning, thinking about, budgeting for, etc. There used to be a commercial saying, "alcohol makes my world smaller" and the truth of that rings for me.
Presently, one of the biggest stumbling blocks (fears, discomforts) is my bff. That is because we have socialized usually around a bottle of wine (or more!) but I have now told her I am abstaining at least for January, and suggested we resume visiting the gym together. We haven't yet had our "Holiday Party" as she was sick during that time. I am contemplating, rehearsing, hanging out with her and drinking water or green tea while she sips wine, but it may be tempting temptation. I am grateful for any comments and suggestions people may have for dealing with this?
Happy January, everyone!3 -
I am in. Starting today. Aiming for reduced alcohol rather than no alcohol though for January so only drinking Friday to Sunday if I feel like some of course.
Day one for me3 -
jonnyman41 wrote: »I am in. Starting today. Aiming for reduced alcohol rather than no alcohol though for January so only drinking Friday to Sunday if I feel like some of course.
Day one for me
Me too.2 -
Drying this January (from yesterday-- I drank wine on New Year's Day). Over the past year or so, I have managed to drink a lot less, a few times going a couple of weeks without, and congratulating myself for each night I abstain, marking on my calendar. I do not like how alcohol affects my sleep patterns; I sleep easily after wine, and wake up early (that has often been a good thing, though). My sleep without is deeper and more restorative. I too, also feel a kind of panic when the afternoon transitions into the night, but often, when I'm over that, it's okay. I also notice craving wine when I see people drinking out of wine glasses on tv. Another (major) reason for abstaining is that it takes up too much "mental real estate" .... that is, planning, thinking about, budgeting for, etc. There used to be a commercial saying, "alcohol makes my world smaller" and the truth of that rings for me.
Presently, one of the biggest stumbling blocks (fears, discomforts) is my bff. That is because we have socialized usually around a bottle of wine (or more!) but I have now told her I am abstaining at least for January, and suggested we resume visiting the gym together. We haven't yet had our "Holiday Party" as she was sick during that time. I am contemplating, rehearsing, hanging out with her and drinking water or green tea while she sips wine, but it may be tempting temptation. I am grateful for any comments and suggestions people may have for dealing with this?
Happy January, everyone!
Could you suggest an alternative ‘Holiday Party’? A spa morning or similar? You’d both enjoy but no temptation on drink.4 -
What if you sent her an email touching upon some of what you told us?
Like: I really value our friendship, looking forward to our holiday party. [etc., Bla bla] Thanks for your support for my upcoming plans to abstain from drinking for a while. After thinking more about it, I realized that what would really help me best is if we kept our party totally alcohol free. Seeing others drink would just be too tempting for me right now. Would that be ok with you?4 -
Be prepared that making this request could cause some tension, especially if you suspect that she is alcohol-dependent. Asking her to go alcohol free for your event might be threatening to her. 2
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I tried to do “No Beer November.” I went 12 days.
I am a freelance writer, and I’ve found a niche writing about beer and spirits. It’s great because it’s something I am passionate about, but it’s bad because it’s something I am passionate about. I’m working on a whiskey cover story for my city’s lifestyle magazine. It’s not something I can give up completely; I’m financially tied to alcohol.
With that being said, I need to do something. I drink beer too regularly, and too much when I do. It’s never just one – it’s always three or four; sometimes more.
I see myself in a lot of these posts. The social aspect, the anxiety. A lot of times, I’m just curious about someone’s take on a style and I use that as an excuse to overindulge. It’s a lie I tell myself constantly.
Thanks to Julie and all who have posted. I hope to do better, too. I need to do that. Good luck, everyone. Here’s to being better.
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I had what turned out to be a great experience last night. For the first time, I made Julia Child's French Onion Soup. Watched her make it on YouTube and did it. It was great! But you know what goes really well with French Onion soup? Red wine! Julia herself says so. So, I poured myself a glass, sat down to eat the soup with my husband, raised the glass to my mouth, . . . said, "What am I doing. I don't really want this," and poured it in the sink. Whoa. That would NEVER have happened before reading This Naked Mind. I promise I'll shut up about this book now; you'd think I'm getting royalties. But I truly knew that I myself (the real me) did NOT want to drink. But my unconscious mind sure thought it sounded awesome. For the first time, I saw the difference.
Like others, I tend toward anxiety and depression. But I'm convinced alcohol increases both despite the temporary relief I get from drinking. Ms. Grace claims that it's a lie that drinking makes us feel good. In fact, drinking simply gives us relief from the discomfort IT (alcohol) created in the first place. If I'd never had a drink in my life, that discomfort at throwing the wine down the sink wouldn't have existed.
For me, it's a big motivator to know that I do not want to drink during January. Otherwise I wouldn't be in this group. So I refuse to let ingrained, unconscious thoughts about how lovely drinking is make me do what I have clearly said I don't want to do.
Sleeping without alcohol is awesome for me. GETTING to sleep is another story. I hope that gets better. Have a great Day 3, everybody!9 -
So I live in the northeast and a major snow storm is headed my way tonight. Usually, I am leaving work and hitting the liquor store in anticipation of a snow day tomorrow. Nothing sounds better than a hearty glass (or more) of red wine, sitting on the couch in my flannel pj's in front of a fire, knowing I will not have work tomorrow.
BUT... this time, I am substituting that red wine with my "calming" decaf tea. (the rest of the plan with the pj's, couch, and fire will remain the same!)
Trust me when I say this is a first. I do have my wine in the house. It will take willpower to not open it. I credit this post to give me strength and inspiration.
One of my goals in 2018 is to work my anxiety and stress through on the treadmill, not the bottle. I will seek comfort in relaxation, not the bottle. I will think about those mornings where my head feels cloudy and I have no energy. I will choose to live from now on.
Bring on the snow! My hot tea is waiting!!!12 -
What the heck.. I'm in for this month... Goal is to reduce to 2 beers total between Friday and Saturday.3
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Yep, alcohol reduction and/or elimination will make you feel better and help you lose weight. I echo other posters' thoughts that consumption negatively affects one's sleep pattern. I try to limit my intake to 2 beers or drinks per day when I do drink and take pleasure in having days where I consume no alcohol whatsoever. My body seems to be able to take care of 2 drinks but gets overloaded with more. When I drink 4 or more it is hangover time the next day. I really hate feeling like that and despise wasting an entire additional day hungover. One more thing: I lose control of my eating when I drink to excess.1
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Have had a read through the posts today and see so much of myself in these. So I’m effectively on evening 4. Slightly tempted but ok today but know that could all change tomorrow. I’ve been thinking I should write down my reasons for not drinking and my reasons why I should. After reading your posts, they are fresh in my mind, so I’m going to put them here..because it’s private (you know what I mean!) and I can refer back to it when needed..so
Reasons why I shouldn’t:
It makes my anxiety so much worse
It is not good for my health
I struggle to limit it to ‘just one / two glasses’ so makes me miserable trying to.
It’s expensive, and have better things to spend that money on
I need to lose weight - there’s no way I can with that sabotage
I can’t keep functioning on a hangover
Probably loads of other reasons that will come to me!
Reasons I should:
...?
I know this isn’t everyone’s aim (alcohol free) so this post won’t appeal to everyone, as we’re all different in our aims..but I just wanted to make myself extra accountable and maybe it appeals to someone else.
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Day 2 for me. Feels like I’ve got through when I’d be most likely to have a glass when cooking dinner. I usually do Mon-thurs clear & then have wine Fri-Sun. My aim this month is to be dry apart from Fri & Sat & then keep to just a couple. I’ll read naked mind too, it sounds v interesting.1
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Day 3 nearly done. Although I only joined this challenge yesterday I started on the 1st. As someone else said - going to bed early helps avoid temptation!
Hope everyone is doing well x5 -
I’m curious about people’s thoughts on the Naked Mind. I read it yesterday on a 7 hour drive. I skimmed a lot of it because it was very repetitive - these are my thoughts.
- I liked her focus on everything you Gain by not drinking. So much of abstinence is about the “battle” instead of it being something joyful or good. its easier to think about what we’re losing instead of gaining. I will take that to heart.
- The discussion around alcohol as progressively addictive is also insightful. I’ve seen the slow progression in my own life. She writes about getting to a point where you are no longer able to be a light drinker because of brain chemistry changes. It made me wonder about myself and where I’m at.
- Lots of discussion about alcohol being poison, terrible for your body.
Overall I thought it was good, it made me think and it made me excited and think super positive about Dry January as a fun reset instead of a drag and horrible deprivation. Just for that alone I think it was worth the read.5 -
SanDiegofitmom wrote: »I’m curious about people’s thoughts on the Naked Mind. I read it yesterday on a 7 hour drive. I skimmed a lot of it because it was very repetitive - these are my thoughts.
- I liked her focus on everything you Gain by not drinking. So much of abstinence is about the “battle” instead of it being something joyful or good. its easier to think about what we’re losing instead of gaining. I will take that to heart.
- The discussion around alcohol as progressively addictive is also insightful. I’ve seen the slow progression in my own life. She writes about getting to a point where you are no longer able to be a light drinker because of brain chemistry changes. It made me wonder about myself and where I’m at.
- Lots of discussion about alcohol being poison, terrible for your body.
Overall I thought it was good, it made me think and it made me excited and think super positive about Dry January as a fun reset instead of a drag and horrible deprivation. Just for that alone I think it was worth the read.
Thanks. I think I will order this and read also.1 -
MichelleRenee_76 wrote: »SanDiegofitmom wrote: »I’m curious about people’s thoughts on the Naked Mind. I read it yesterday on a 7 hour drive. I skimmed a lot of it because it was very repetitive - these are my thoughts.
- I liked her focus on everything you Gain by not drinking. So much of abstinence is about the “battle” instead of it being something joyful or good. its easier to think about what we’re losing instead of gaining. I will take that to heart.
- The discussion around alcohol as progressively addictive is also insightful. I’ve seen the slow progression in my own life. She writes about getting to a point where you are no longer able to be a light drinker because of brain chemistry changes. It made me wonder about myself and where I’m at.
- Lots of discussion about alcohol being poison, terrible for your body.
Overall I thought it was good, it made me think and it made me excited and think super positive about Dry January as a fun reset instead of a drag and horrible deprivation. Just for that alone I think it was worth the read.
Thanks. I think I will order this and read also.
Michelle, can you just sum it up for me... I hate to read
Thank you in advance. LOL1 -
SanDiegofitmom wrote: »I’m curious about people’s thoughts on the Naked Mind. I read it yesterday on a 7 hour drive. I skimmed a lot of it because it was very repetitive - these are my thoughts.
- I liked her focus on everything you Gain by not drinking. So much of abstinence is about the “battle” instead of it being something joyful or good. its easier to think about what we’re losing instead of gaining. I will take that to heart.
- The discussion around alcohol as progressively addictive is also insightful. I’ve seen the slow progression in my own life. She writes about getting to a point where you are no longer able to be a light drinker because of brain chemistry changes. It made me wonder about myself and where I’m at.
- Lots of discussion about alcohol being poison, terrible for your body.
Overall I thought it was good, it made me think and it made me excited and think super positive about Dry January as a fun reset instead of a drag and horrible deprivation. Just for that alone I think it was worth the read.
I downloaded this from Audible this morning. I am only on Chapter 5 but her positive mind set is already established and that is making me so hopeful! I kind of wish I had just bought the Kindle version, as I do like to read, but now I can listen as I try to make dinner...and avoid my usual glass(es) of wine.
I am very grateful for this thread!
2 -
I had what turned out to be a great experience last night. For the first time, I made Julia Child's French Onion Soup. Watched her make it on YouTube and did it. It was great! But you know what goes really well with French Onion soup? Red wine! Julia herself says so. So, I poured myself a glass, sat down to eat the soup with my husband, raised the glass to my mouth, . . . said, "What am I doing. I don't really want this," and poured it in the sink. Whoa. That would NEVER have happened before reading This Naked Mind. I promise I'll shut up about this book now; you'd think I'm getting royalties. But I truly knew that I myself (the real me) did NOT want to drink. But my unconscious mind sure thought it sounded awesome. For the first time, I saw the difference.
Like others, I tend toward anxiety and depression. But I'm convinced alcohol increases both despite the temporary relief I get from drinking. Ms. Grace claims that it's a lie that drinking makes us feel good. In fact, drinking simply gives us relief from the discomfort IT (alcohol) created in the first place. If I'd never had a drink in my life, that discomfort at throwing the wine down the sink wouldn't have existed.
For me, it's a big motivator to know that I do not want to drink during January. Otherwise I wouldn't be in this group. So I refuse to let ingrained, unconscious thoughts about how lovely drinking is make me do what I have clearly said I don't want to do.
Sleeping without alcohol is awesome for me. GETTING to sleep is another story. I hope that gets better. Have a great Day 3, everybody!
Ok, I have to get this book!2 -
lporter229 wrote: »Am I the odd man out here in that I feel like alcohol helps me to sleep? I rarely wake up during the night when I have had a few glasses of wine, but I almost always do without it.
@lporter229 Alcohol helps me get to sleep faster, however, I find I wake up more during the night.
@lporter229 @SanDiegofitmom @crazykatlady_ I am glad I am not the only one that uses a few glasses of wine as a life bull*kitten* filter. My anxiety is very situational right now. I am currently trapped in this middle-age family caretaker role (on top of working 2 jobs). I have a daughter who is going through some hard times, my parents are needing more and more care, and a series of family tragedies that struck all at once this year. I feel like I spent 2017 constantly putting out fires and taking care of everyone in my immediate and extended family.
One of my 2018 goals is to find some more me-time and do a little more self-care.2 -
Just curious, does anyone here have any experience with AA?0
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lporter229 wrote: »Am I the odd man out here in that I feel like alcohol helps me to sleep? I rarely wake up during the night when I have had a few glasses of wine, but I almost always do without it.
I sleep really good when I drink but, I dont seem to sleep all through the night Im up thirsty, in the bathroom, or simply I just wake up after a while.
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MichelleRenee_76 wrote: »SanDiegofitmom wrote: »I’m curious about people’s thoughts on the Naked Mind. I read it yesterday on a 7 hour drive. I skimmed a lot of it because it was very repetitive - these are my thoughts.
- I liked her focus on everything you Gain by not drinking. So much of abstinence is about the “battle” instead of it being something joyful or good. its easier to think about what we’re losing instead of gaining. I will take that to heart.
- The discussion around alcohol as progressively addictive is also insightful. I’ve seen the slow progression in my own life. She writes about getting to a point where you are no longer able to be a light drinker because of brain chemistry changes. It made me wonder about myself and where I’m at.
- Lots of discussion about alcohol being poison, terrible for your body.
Overall I thought it was good, it made me think and it made me excited and think super positive about Dry January as a fun reset instead of a drag and horrible deprivation. Just for that alone I think it was worth the read.
Thanks. I think I will order this and read also.
Michelle, can you just sum it up for me... I hate to read
Thank you in advance. LOL
Lol, you got it Becky.
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Opps, I'm out1
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springsweet wrote: »Just curious, does anyone here have any experience with AA?
Me and my husband recently went to a meeting. However, we found it to be too focused on religion and we really weren't so excited about that. So, we haven't went back.1 -
MichelleRenee_76 wrote: »springsweet wrote: »Just curious, does anyone here have any experience with AA?
Me and my husband recently went to a meeting. However, we found it to be too focused on religion and we really weren't so excited about that. So, we haven't went back.
The religious aspect is what finally turned me off as well. Although I have a better understanding of it now. I still firmly believe it wasn't right for me, even though it's right for a lot of people.3 -
Goal — January under 7 drinks a week- for my health.....my mind.....my body....
1/1 =alcohol free
1/2 = 4 wine spritzers
1/3 =alcohol free
1/4 =
1/5 =
1/6 =
1/7 =
1/8 =
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1/10 =
1/11 =
1/12 =
1/13 =
1/14 =
1/15 =
1/16 =
1/17 =
1/18 =
1/19 =
1/20 =
1/21 =
1/22 =
1/23 =
1/24 =
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1/27 =
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1/30 =
1/31 =
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springsweet wrote: »MichelleRenee_76 wrote: »springsweet wrote: »Just curious, does anyone here have any experience with AA?
Me and my husband recently went to a meeting. However, we found it to be too focused on religion and we really weren't so excited about that. So, we haven't went back.
The religious aspect is what finally turned me off as well. Although I have a better understanding of it now. I still firmly believe it wasn't right for me, even though it's right for a lot of people.
I haven't been to a meeting, but I researched AA and the 12 steps and all of that. I can't wrap my head on the religious/higher power aspect of it. It seems to help so many people, but it's not for me. I think that because I have such a rock solid support system I am able to do this without meetings.2
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