Ladies, Have You Ever Had a Bad Experience With a Male Personal Trainer?

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I joined a gym in November with the intention of trying to get back in shape after a couple of years of too much overtime at work and grad school.

I had received a couple of phone calls from the gym stating that an initial "assessment" with a personal trainer was included in my membership. I thought it would be good to take advantage of that, have someone go through the machines/exercies with me so I could set up a program and hit the ground running once I'm medically cleared to work out (I'm still recovering from flu complications which included badly swollen and painful lymph nodes above my collar bone) I figured it would be a good idea to do this before the New Year when everyone would be in there.

First, he did not listen to me, particularly about my goals and what a healthy weight for me is (I've been a lifelong athlete, including triathlon, marathon, outdoor activities and dance and know my body – I know exactly at what weight I look and feel the best and perform my best in triathlons) I'm getting older and just need to add some strength training to regain some muscle mass that we all lose as we age.

He immediately tried to push hard core body building, a lower body fat percentage than may be healthy for me, and completely poo-pooed any cardio, which is also important, especially for a multi sport athlete. He showed me photos of women's bodies on his phone, none of which had my body type.

He also repeatedly tried to press me into working out right then and there, when I had told him more than once that I was not yet medically cleared to do so, and was just looking for exercise program recommendations for when I am able to start.

There are several Facebook reviews for this gym which name him and his inappropriate commentary with women. I'm pretty laid back and while several things he said to me were borderline inappropriate, I'm sure other women would have found them completely inappropriate.

He most definitely engaged in inappropriate/unwanted touching. I had to ask him THREE TIMES NOT to grab the area between my neck and shoulder due to pain I was experiencing from the lymph nodes (I had to physically take his hands off of me)

The really creepy thing was he kept touching my HAIR. DO NOT TOUCH WOMENS' HAIR!!! That is an extremely intimate gesture and it's CREEPY when done uninvited.

After all was said and done, I did not come out of there with what I wanted, a list of exercises to do to build my strength, but did receive a relentless, extremely high pressure sales pitch for personal training. (even if I had the time, money or inclination, it sure as hell wouldn't be with him)

I gave him a hard "No" at least ten times. I told him in no uncertain terms that my financial situation would not allow and that I owed him no explanation for that. He kept pressing and pressuring.

This was several days ago and I'm still creeped out."

I waited a day and sent a complaint to their corporate headquarters (this was right before the holiday so I expect a form letter in a day or two) There is no single manager at this club; there is a sales manager, a membership manager and a PT manager, which he is, so no one there I can go to.

On an amusing note, my boyfriend joined as well and he's got an appointment set with the same trainer. I'm waiting to compare notes and see how he was treated versus how I was treated… I'm pretty sure there are things that won't be said to him and that he won't be asked to do multiple times. (and that his hair won't be touched)
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Replies

  • canadianlbs
    canadianlbs Posts: 5,199 Member
    edited January 2018
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    never dealt with this personally - 'my' own trainer Would Never. and never seen it, as my other lifting location is the civic rec-centre complex and you bet your *kitten* complaints made to them get taken care of. they are just too public, and too publicly accountable to people who are accountable to the public, not to be.

    your experience was massively inappropriate. i can't speak for your local laws etc, but i think that around here you could run something like that by the human rights/sexual harassment-assault people, and probably find that it does meet some kidn of test. inappropriate touching is inappropriate touching. and touching after you have said a clear no sounds like assault to me.

    so idk how loaded for bear you feel, but i'd probably open-cc the human rights people with any communication i made to the place's management about it. especially if the guy is such an endemic problem that it's a kind of open secret how he behaves.

    if it can be shown his employers were aware of it and did nothing bout him, then afaik it's just like any other workplace harassment/assault thing. they would be on the hook too around here.
  • jsminer827
    jsminer827 Posts: 62 Member
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    I'm sorry that happened to you! I think it's terrible and this trainer should face disciplinary action. I don't know what club it is or where, but there is a tremendous difference among clubs even in the same franchise. Do you like the gym otherwise or is there a pervasive sense of unease for you?

    I enjoy the environment at my gym and I do have a male personal trainer. He's never been inappropriate with me or with other clients as far as I can tell. I don't think your experience is representative of the industry, but there is definitely something unacceptable going on at your gym... I hope you get more than a form letter back and some meaningful action is taken.
  • wildcelticrose
    wildcelticrose Posts: 40 Member
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    my boyfriend just got back from his session with the same trainer.

    The trainer was more respectful to him and backed off when asked (in his case it was number of reps and the hard core sales pitch) I had to tell him to get his hands off the area between my neck and shoulder THREE times, and it was about ten times for me to get him to stop the hardcore sales pitch.

    Trainer did not have him turn sideways so he could "check out his posture and physique" and then comment on his butt (he had me do it more than once)

    Trainer did not have him walk back and forth (away from and towards him (he had me do it more than once)

    Trainer did not have him bounce up and down on an exercise ball (makes sense, he doesn't have boobs to watch bounce up and down)

    Trainer did not touch his hair which I didn't expect to happen because it's not long, red and curly...
  • Dootzy1
    Dootzy1 Posts: 2,211 Member
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    You were encouraged to exercise even though you were not medically cleared. Couldn't that be a legal liability for this gym? He sounds like a chauvinistic sort, and you had every right to feel creeped out. I wish you would have given him a piece of your mind....but if you're like me, it takes awhile for letting it "sink in" and actually believing what happened. I always have a good "comeback" when I process it after the fact!

  • GemstoneofHeart
    GemstoneofHeart Posts: 865 Member
    edited January 2018
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    I’ve never had a personal trainer but A guy I work with had a side gig at a gym as one. He got fired because he wasn’t listening to his clients but the tipping point/complaint for the gym was a pregnant lady. She kept telling him he was pushing her too hard and that she needed to buck up and try harder, so she complained. She was like 7 months pregnant....
    Crazy
  • Fflpnari
    Fflpnari Posts: 975 Member
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    Just reading this gives me a creeping feeling
  • rheddmobile
    rheddmobile Posts: 6,840 Member
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    Sorry this happened to you. Please let us know what you hear back in response to your letter!
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,996 Member
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    my boyfriend just got back from his session with the same trainer.

    The trainer was more respectful to him and backed off when asked (in his case it was number of reps and the hard core sales pitch) I had to tell him to get his hands off the area between my neck and shoulder THREE times, and it was about ten times for me to get him to stop the hardcore sales pitch.

    Trainer did not have him turn sideways so he could "check out his posture and physique" and then comment on his butt (he had me do it more than once)

    Trainer did not have him walk back and forth (away from and towards him (he had me do it more than once)

    Trainer did not have him bounce up and down on an exercise ball (makes sense, he doesn't have boobs to watch bounce up and down)

    Trainer did not touch his hair which I didn't expect to happen because it's not long, red and curly...

    In your position, I would still want a personal training session to get my questions answered, and would give this info to the gym to explain why the session you received was not satisfactory and ask for another with a different trainer.

    You could ask for a female trainer, up to you.

    I've had a few unprofessional male massage therapists, but don't rule males out completely because of this. However, I've never had this happen with females.
  • julie_broadhead
    julie_broadhead Posts: 347 Member
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    Firstly, I'm so sorry this happened to you. I hope that there is some justice pending this investigation.

    All the male trainers I've had were very knowledgeable and professional. They never touched me except to give me a high five.
  • Azdak
    Azdak Posts: 8,281 Member
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    This is borderline beyond just inappropriate trainer behavior and into legal sexual harassment.

    This guy is a lawsuit waiting to happen.
  • canadianlbs
    canadianlbs Posts: 5,199 Member
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    I just got a response from the first email

    nice! go you.


    seriously. i appreciate every woman who speaks up, because #obviousreasons.

  • apullum
    apullum Posts: 4,838 Member
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    I hope that this email isn't the only resolution you receive. If you don't hear anything else from them, I'd follow up with management until the issue is actually resolved.
  • SonyaCele
    SonyaCele Posts: 2,841 Member
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    if you think he's a bad trainer and creepy and weren't happy with your free training session, why would your boyfriend go to him? Find another trainer that you connect better with and move on from this one. Yeah i'd be miffed if anyone touched me, but i'm not surprised about the high pressure sales tactic, thats how he makes his living by selling his services. And i'm not surprised that he was trying to sell you something you may not have wanted. All trainers specialize in different things and push what they do. Find a trainer you like better, there are a billion out there to choose from. I dont understand why your boyfriend is going to him if you find him so creepy
  • SonyaCele
    SonyaCele Posts: 2,841 Member
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    kshama2001 wrote: »
    SonyaCele wrote: »
    if you think he's a bad trainer and creepy and weren't happy with your free training session, why would your boyfriend go to him? Find another trainer that you connect better with and move on from this one. Yeah i'd be miffed if anyone touched me, but i'm not surprised about the high pressure sales tactic, thats how he makes his living by selling his services. And i'm not surprised that he was trying to sell you something you may not have wanted. All trainers specialize in different things and push what they do. Find a trainer you like better, there are a billion out there to choose from. I dont understand why your boyfriend is going to him if you find him so creepy

    Her BF went to that trainer for his one free session. Given how the trainer treated his male client very differently, she can make a clear case with management for sexual harassment.

    a case for sexual harassment should be able to stand alone, she had a case without her boyfriend needing to go. But best of luck with her case regardless.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,692 Member
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    my boyfriend just got back from his session with the same trainer.

    The trainer was more respectful to him and backed off when asked (in his case it was number of reps and the hard core sales pitch) I had to tell him to get his hands off the area between my neck and shoulder THREE times, and it was about ten times for me to get him to stop the hardcore sales pitch.

    Trainer did not have him turn sideways so he could "check out his posture and physique" and then comment on his butt (he had me do it more than once)

    Trainer did not have him walk back and forth (away from and towards him (he had me do it more than once)

    Trainer did not have him bounce up and down on an exercise ball (makes sense, he doesn't have boobs to watch bounce up and down)

    Trainer did not touch his hair which I didn't expect to happen because it's not long, red and curly...
    Just to be fair, checking posture is an important thing. Slouching shoulders leads to neck issues and posture is a great way to assess that right off the bat.
    Walking gaits are another assessment to see if you turn your toes in or out and if knees buckle in or not.
    But bouncing on a ball? Lol, I've never had to do that.
    Anyway, it just sounds like your experience was bad and he didn't seem to pick up on that. He may have clientele that love him, so I would advise you to maybe look at selecting another trainer.



    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

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  • Fitnessmom82
    Fitnessmom82 Posts: 376 Member
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    Does not sound like a typical experience! Good for you for voicing your concerns. I've had two male trainers who were both nothing but professional. One asked me before even starting if I was comfortable with him placing his hands on me to guide me through exercises, stretch ect...and it was never inappropriate touching. The other trainer would ask before touching or say "I'm going to place my hand on your back..." Both gentlemen only ever touched me when necessary to point out a muscle, feel if something was moving right ect...
    They both asked me to walk and run to assess my gait. No one ever asked me to bounce!!
    I hope you get some resolution this! And hopefully keep in mind that not all male trainers are bad! There's always a bad apple in every bunch.