Ladies, Have You Ever Had a Bad Experience With a Male Personal Trainer?
wildcelticrose
Posts: 40 Member
I joined a gym in November with the intention of trying to get back in shape after a couple of years of too much overtime at work and grad school.
I had received a couple of phone calls from the gym stating that an initial "assessment" with a personal trainer was included in my membership. I thought it would be good to take advantage of that, have someone go through the machines/exercies with me so I could set up a program and hit the ground running once I'm medically cleared to work out (I'm still recovering from flu complications which included badly swollen and painful lymph nodes above my collar bone) I figured it would be a good idea to do this before the New Year when everyone would be in there.
First, he did not listen to me, particularly about my goals and what a healthy weight for me is (I've been a lifelong athlete, including triathlon, marathon, outdoor activities and dance and know my body – I know exactly at what weight I look and feel the best and perform my best in triathlons) I'm getting older and just need to add some strength training to regain some muscle mass that we all lose as we age.
He immediately tried to push hard core body building, a lower body fat percentage than may be healthy for me, and completely poo-pooed any cardio, which is also important, especially for a multi sport athlete. He showed me photos of women's bodies on his phone, none of which had my body type.
He also repeatedly tried to press me into working out right then and there, when I had told him more than once that I was not yet medically cleared to do so, and was just looking for exercise program recommendations for when I am able to start.
There are several Facebook reviews for this gym which name him and his inappropriate commentary with women. I'm pretty laid back and while several things he said to me were borderline inappropriate, I'm sure other women would have found them completely inappropriate.
He most definitely engaged in inappropriate/unwanted touching. I had to ask him THREE TIMES NOT to grab the area between my neck and shoulder due to pain I was experiencing from the lymph nodes (I had to physically take his hands off of me)
The really creepy thing was he kept touching my HAIR. DO NOT TOUCH WOMENS' HAIR!!! That is an extremely intimate gesture and it's CREEPY when done uninvited.
After all was said and done, I did not come out of there with what I wanted, a list of exercises to do to build my strength, but did receive a relentless, extremely high pressure sales pitch for personal training. (even if I had the time, money or inclination, it sure as hell wouldn't be with him)
I gave him a hard "No" at least ten times. I told him in no uncertain terms that my financial situation would not allow and that I owed him no explanation for that. He kept pressing and pressuring.
This was several days ago and I'm still creeped out."
I waited a day and sent a complaint to their corporate headquarters (this was right before the holiday so I expect a form letter in a day or two) There is no single manager at this club; there is a sales manager, a membership manager and a PT manager, which he is, so no one there I can go to.
On an amusing note, my boyfriend joined as well and he's got an appointment set with the same trainer. I'm waiting to compare notes and see how he was treated versus how I was treated… I'm pretty sure there are things that won't be said to him and that he won't be asked to do multiple times. (and that his hair won't be touched)
I had received a couple of phone calls from the gym stating that an initial "assessment" with a personal trainer was included in my membership. I thought it would be good to take advantage of that, have someone go through the machines/exercies with me so I could set up a program and hit the ground running once I'm medically cleared to work out (I'm still recovering from flu complications which included badly swollen and painful lymph nodes above my collar bone) I figured it would be a good idea to do this before the New Year when everyone would be in there.
First, he did not listen to me, particularly about my goals and what a healthy weight for me is (I've been a lifelong athlete, including triathlon, marathon, outdoor activities and dance and know my body – I know exactly at what weight I look and feel the best and perform my best in triathlons) I'm getting older and just need to add some strength training to regain some muscle mass that we all lose as we age.
He immediately tried to push hard core body building, a lower body fat percentage than may be healthy for me, and completely poo-pooed any cardio, which is also important, especially for a multi sport athlete. He showed me photos of women's bodies on his phone, none of which had my body type.
He also repeatedly tried to press me into working out right then and there, when I had told him more than once that I was not yet medically cleared to do so, and was just looking for exercise program recommendations for when I am able to start.
There are several Facebook reviews for this gym which name him and his inappropriate commentary with women. I'm pretty laid back and while several things he said to me were borderline inappropriate, I'm sure other women would have found them completely inappropriate.
He most definitely engaged in inappropriate/unwanted touching. I had to ask him THREE TIMES NOT to grab the area between my neck and shoulder due to pain I was experiencing from the lymph nodes (I had to physically take his hands off of me)
The really creepy thing was he kept touching my HAIR. DO NOT TOUCH WOMENS' HAIR!!! That is an extremely intimate gesture and it's CREEPY when done uninvited.
After all was said and done, I did not come out of there with what I wanted, a list of exercises to do to build my strength, but did receive a relentless, extremely high pressure sales pitch for personal training. (even if I had the time, money or inclination, it sure as hell wouldn't be with him)
I gave him a hard "No" at least ten times. I told him in no uncertain terms that my financial situation would not allow and that I owed him no explanation for that. He kept pressing and pressuring.
This was several days ago and I'm still creeped out."
I waited a day and sent a complaint to their corporate headquarters (this was right before the holiday so I expect a form letter in a day or two) There is no single manager at this club; there is a sales manager, a membership manager and a PT manager, which he is, so no one there I can go to.
On an amusing note, my boyfriend joined as well and he's got an appointment set with the same trainer. I'm waiting to compare notes and see how he was treated versus how I was treated… I'm pretty sure there are things that won't be said to him and that he won't be asked to do multiple times. (and that his hair won't be touched)
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Replies
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I would definitely push the issue to someone in charge until you get the response you want. That's completely unacceptable and not needed in the fitness industry.5
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never dealt with this personally - 'my' own trainer Would Never. and never seen it, as my other lifting location is the civic rec-centre complex and you bet your *kitten* complaints made to them get taken care of. they are just too public, and too publicly accountable to people who are accountable to the public, not to be.
your experience was massively inappropriate. i can't speak for your local laws etc, but i think that around here you could run something like that by the human rights/sexual harassment-assault people, and probably find that it does meet some kidn of test. inappropriate touching is inappropriate touching. and touching after you have said a clear no sounds like assault to me.
so idk how loaded for bear you feel, but i'd probably open-cc the human rights people with any communication i made to the place's management about it. especially if the guy is such an endemic problem that it's a kind of open secret how he behaves.
if it can be shown his employers were aware of it and did nothing bout him, then afaik it's just like any other workplace harassment/assault thing. they would be on the hook too around here.1 -
I'm sorry that happened to you! I think it's terrible and this trainer should face disciplinary action. I don't know what club it is or where, but there is a tremendous difference among clubs even in the same franchise. Do you like the gym otherwise or is there a pervasive sense of unease for you?
I enjoy the environment at my gym and I do have a male personal trainer. He's never been inappropriate with me or with other clients as far as I can tell. I don't think your experience is representative of the industry, but there is definitely something unacceptable going on at your gym... I hope you get more than a form letter back and some meaningful action is taken.4 -
my boyfriend just got back from his session with the same trainer.
The trainer was more respectful to him and backed off when asked (in his case it was number of reps and the hard core sales pitch) I had to tell him to get his hands off the area between my neck and shoulder THREE times, and it was about ten times for me to get him to stop the hardcore sales pitch.
Trainer did not have him turn sideways so he could "check out his posture and physique" and then comment on his butt (he had me do it more than once)
Trainer did not have him walk back and forth (away from and towards him (he had me do it more than once)
Trainer did not have him bounce up and down on an exercise ball (makes sense, he doesn't have boobs to watch bounce up and down)
Trainer did not touch his hair which I didn't expect to happen because it's not long, red and curly...4 -
You were encouraged to exercise even though you were not medically cleared. Couldn't that be a legal liability for this gym? He sounds like a chauvinistic sort, and you had every right to feel creeped out. I wish you would have given him a piece of your mind....but if you're like me, it takes awhile for letting it "sink in" and actually believing what happened. I always have a good "comeback" when I process it after the fact!
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I’ve never had a personal trainer but A guy I work with had a side gig at a gym as one. He got fired because he wasn’t listening to his clients but the tipping point/complaint for the gym was a pregnant lady. She kept telling him he was pushing her too hard and that she needed to buck up and try harder, so she complained. She was like 7 months pregnant....
Crazy1 -
Just reading this gives me a creeping feeling2
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Sorry this happened to you. Please let us know what you hear back in response to your letter!0
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wildcelticrose wrote: »my boyfriend just got back from his session with the same trainer.
The trainer was more respectful to him and backed off when asked (in his case it was number of reps and the hard core sales pitch) I had to tell him to get his hands off the area between my neck and shoulder THREE times, and it was about ten times for me to get him to stop the hardcore sales pitch.
Trainer did not have him turn sideways so he could "check out his posture and physique" and then comment on his butt (he had me do it more than once)
Trainer did not have him walk back and forth (away from and towards him (he had me do it more than once)
Trainer did not have him bounce up and down on an exercise ball (makes sense, he doesn't have boobs to watch bounce up and down)
Trainer did not touch his hair which I didn't expect to happen because it's not long, red and curly...
In your position, I would still want a personal training session to get my questions answered, and would give this info to the gym to explain why the session you received was not satisfactory and ask for another with a different trainer.
You could ask for a female trainer, up to you.
I've had a few unprofessional male massage therapists, but don't rule males out completely because of this. However, I've never had this happen with females.1 -
I just got a response from the first email (I sent an update after my boyfriend got back from there about an hour ago)
"Dear Lisa,
I understand why you are upset. This is not the experience we want anyone to have. I have contacted the VP about this matter for immediate investigation.
Sincerely,
Christina"6 -
Firstly, I'm so sorry this happened to you. I hope that there is some justice pending this investigation.
All the male trainers I've had were very knowledgeable and professional. They never touched me except to give me a high five.1 -
This is borderline beyond just inappropriate trainer behavior and into legal sexual harassment.
This guy is a lawsuit waiting to happen.2 -
wildcelticrose wrote: »I just got a response from the first email
nice! go you.
seriously. i appreciate every woman who speaks up, because #obviousreasons.
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I hope that this email isn't the only resolution you receive. If you don't hear anything else from them, I'd follow up with management until the issue is actually resolved.2
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if you think he's a bad trainer and creepy and weren't happy with your free training session, why would your boyfriend go to him? Find another trainer that you connect better with and move on from this one. Yeah i'd be miffed if anyone touched me, but i'm not surprised about the high pressure sales tactic, thats how he makes his living by selling his services. And i'm not surprised that he was trying to sell you something you may not have wanted. All trainers specialize in different things and push what they do. Find a trainer you like better, there are a billion out there to choose from. I dont understand why your boyfriend is going to him if you find him so creepy2
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if you think he's a bad trainer and creepy and weren't happy with your free training session, why would your boyfriend go to him? Find another trainer that you connect better with and move on from this one. Yeah i'd be miffed if anyone touched me, but i'm not surprised about the high pressure sales tactic, thats how he makes his living by selling his services. And i'm not surprised that he was trying to sell you something you may not have wanted. All trainers specialize in different things and push what they do. Find a trainer you like better, there are a billion out there to choose from. I dont understand why your boyfriend is going to him if you find him so creepy
Her BF went to that trainer for his one free session. Given how the trainer treated his male client very differently, she can make a clear case with management for sexual harassment.5 -
kshama2001 wrote: »if you think he's a bad trainer and creepy and weren't happy with your free training session, why would your boyfriend go to him? Find another trainer that you connect better with and move on from this one. Yeah i'd be miffed if anyone touched me, but i'm not surprised about the high pressure sales tactic, thats how he makes his living by selling his services. And i'm not surprised that he was trying to sell you something you may not have wanted. All trainers specialize in different things and push what they do. Find a trainer you like better, there are a billion out there to choose from. I dont understand why your boyfriend is going to him if you find him so creepy
Her BF went to that trainer for his one free session. Given how the trainer treated his male client very differently, she can make a clear case with management for sexual harassment.
a case for sexual harassment should be able to stand alone, she had a case without her boyfriend needing to go. But best of luck with her case regardless.2 -
wildcelticrose wrote: »my boyfriend just got back from his session with the same trainer.
The trainer was more respectful to him and backed off when asked (in his case it was number of reps and the hard core sales pitch) I had to tell him to get his hands off the area between my neck and shoulder THREE times, and it was about ten times for me to get him to stop the hardcore sales pitch.
Trainer did not have him turn sideways so he could "check out his posture and physique" and then comment on his butt (he had me do it more than once)
Trainer did not have him walk back and forth (away from and towards him (he had me do it more than once)
Trainer did not have him bounce up and down on an exercise ball (makes sense, he doesn't have boobs to watch bounce up and down)
Trainer did not touch his hair which I didn't expect to happen because it's not long, red and curly...
Walking gaits are another assessment to see if you turn your toes in or out and if knees buckle in or not.
But bouncing on a ball? Lol, I've never had to do that.
Anyway, it just sounds like your experience was bad and he didn't seem to pick up on that. He may have clientele that love him, so I would advise you to maybe look at selecting another trainer.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Does not sound like a typical experience! Good for you for voicing your concerns. I've had two male trainers who were both nothing but professional. One asked me before even starting if I was comfortable with him placing his hands on me to guide me through exercises, stretch ect...and it was never inappropriate touching. The other trainer would ask before touching or say "I'm going to place my hand on your back..." Both gentlemen only ever touched me when necessary to point out a muscle, feel if something was moving right ect...
They both asked me to walk and run to assess my gait. No one ever asked me to bounce!!
I hope you get some resolution this! And hopefully keep in mind that not all male trainers are bad! There's always a bad apple in every bunch.1 -
I'm not interested in working with, nor paying for a trainer (and if I was, I certainly wouldn't go to him) I went for my free session which I hoped would help me set up my own program to work on, go over the machines in that particular gym so I could use them safely, etc... I haven't used a gym in a long time because I really don't care for them, I'm more of a fitness through activity person, but I'm at the age where strength training is a must.
The BF went in for the same reason, it's a new gym to him. He had already been set up with this trainer before I went in and that that point we both wanted to see wanted to see if he was treated the same way I was, and he was not. He was listened to and when he told the guy to back off, he did.
I am well aware that posture and gait are important. I've coached runners, triathletes and have taught skiing.
Having me turn to the side (more than once and commenting on my butt) was not necessary nor appropriate and he did not do that to my boyfriend (guys' posture and gait don't matter?) He also didn't have my boyfriend bounce on the exercise ball (I guess his core strength didn't matter?) FWIW, I'm in way better shape than the BF as I've been actively running, cycling, kayaking, Samba and Bellydancing, so I would think it would be even more important to look at his gait, posture and core strength.
And yes, the fact that he behaved inappropriately with me does stand on it's own. With that said, being able to compare how he treats a man versus how he treats a woman is very good information to have. It's not just about being creepy/borderline sexual harassment, it's about not respecting and listening to a woman.
This gym also has several negative reviews (from women, big surprise) that involve this guy (I linked those reviews in my email to the company which should be monitoring that sort of thing)
He is a problem.
It's not just me.
If it were just me and I wanted/needed a trainer, I'd just find another one; but that's not the case here.
The company needs to deal with him. Maybe he just needs education, training and to be monitored to make certain that this behavior changes/doesn't continue.
Sadly, this is the only gym in town that I can take classes at which works with my crazy work schedule; I've researched all of the other gyms and they won't work.
Luckily, there is another location, which is on my way to work that I can use when I go in to do weights and I'll only have to go into the one where he is if I'm taking classes and will go straight to that room and stay far away from the weight floor.
Any other gym I've belonged to would have someone show you the machines, how to use them safely and to recommend some exercises. I didn't get that from him, so I've pulled up old workouts from previous gyms and have researched the machines they have there so I know how to properly adjust them and align my joints with the cams to prevent injury.
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if you think he's a bad trainer and creepy and weren't happy with your free training session, why would your boyfriend go to him? Find another trainer that you connect better with and move on from this one. Yeah i'd be miffed if anyone touched me, but i'm not surprised about the high pressure sales tactic, thats how he makes his living by selling his services. And i'm not surprised that he was trying to sell you something you may not have wanted. All trainers specialize in different things and push what they do. Find a trainer you like better, there are a billion out there to choose from. I dont understand why your boyfriend is going to him if you find him so creepy
Because it's not all about me. He's making other women uncomfortable as well based on the reviews I've read and he needs to be dealt with.
Some of us actually think about people other than ourselves.4 -
I hope that this email isn't the only resolution you receive. If you don't hear anything else from them, I'd follow up with management until the issue is actually resolved.
Oh trust me, I will... the last line in my second email stated, "I expect a response from you; I expect you to deal with it. If not, I'm certain there are agencies I can contact."2 -
Clearly this guy was way out of line. Good for you for taking action. With the documentation you’ve provided, the company has an obligation to investigate. The very different experience with your boyfriend demonstrates a much different approach based on gender. That helps build a case of sexual harassment, not just bad style. Meaning he proved he knows better.
On a personal note, I’m a dad of two daughters. This type of thing really hits my “dad” button. I’m really proud of the way you handled yourself. Sounds like you are a strong and independent woman. Good for you. My only advise for next time, remember that strong kick technique your dad taught you? He deserves one3 -
wildcelticrose wrote: »I hope that this email isn't the only resolution you receive. If you don't hear anything else from them, I'd follow up with management until the issue is actually resolved.
Oh trust me, I will... the last line in my second email stated, "I expect a response from you; I expect you to deal with it. If not, I'm certain there are agencies I can contact."
Glad you included that last line! It should force them into a call to action, even though any decent person/business should not need to be forced into action after hearing a report of an experience such as yours.
Please keep us updated, from what you’ve been updating thus far, you’re kicking butt.0 -
wildcelticrose wrote: »my boyfriend just got back from his session with the same trainer.
The trainer was more respectful to him and backed off when asked (in his case it was number of reps and the hard core sales pitch) I had to tell him to get his hands off the area between my neck and shoulder THREE times, and it was about ten times for me to get him to stop the hardcore sales pitch.
Trainer did not have him turn sideways so he could "check out his posture and physique" and then comment on his butt (he had me do it more than once)
Trainer did not have him walk back and forth (away from and towards him (he had me do it more than once)
Trainer did not have him bounce up and down on an exercise ball (makes sense, he doesn't have boobs to watch bounce up and down)
Trainer did not touch his hair which I didn't expect to happen because it's not long, red and curly...
Walking gaits are another assessment to see if you turn your toes in or out and if knees buckle in or not.
But bouncing on a ball? Lol, I've never had to do that.
Anyway, it just sounds like your experience was bad and he didn't seem to pick up on that. He may have clientele that love him, so I would advise you to maybe look at selecting another trainer.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Sorry, but his behavior goes well beyond just a “bad fit, move along” IMO. That’s how creeps like this continue to behave the way they do.
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wildcelticrose wrote: »my boyfriend just got back from his session with the same trainer.
The trainer was more respectful to him and backed off when asked (in his case it was number of reps and the hard core sales pitch) I had to tell him to get his hands off the area between my neck and shoulder THREE times, and it was about ten times for me to get him to stop the hardcore sales pitch.
Trainer did not have him turn sideways so he could "check out his posture and physique" and then comment on his butt (he had me do it more than once)
Trainer did not have him walk back and forth (away from and towards him (he had me do it more than once)
Trainer did not have him bounce up and down on an exercise ball (makes sense, he doesn't have boobs to watch bounce up and down)
Trainer did not touch his hair which I didn't expect to happen because it's not long, red and curly...
Walking gaits are another assessment to see if you turn your toes in or out and if knees buckle in or not.
But bouncing on a ball? Lol, I've never had to do that.
Anyway, it just sounds like your experience was bad and he didn't seem to pick up on that. He may have clientele that love him, so I would advise you to maybe look at selecting another trainer.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Sorry, but his behavior goes well beyond just a “bad fit, move along” IMO. That’s how creeps like this continue to behave the way they do.
100% agree with @Azdak
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wildcelticrose wrote: »I'm not interested in working with, nor paying for a trainer (and if I was, I certainly wouldn't go to him) I went for my free session which I hoped would help me set up my own program to work on, go over the machines in that particular gym so I could use them safely, etc... I haven't used a gym in a long time because I really don't care for them, I'm more of a fitness through activity person, but I'm at the age where strength training is a must.
The BF went in for the same reason, it's a new gym to him. He had already been set up with this trainer before I went in and that that point we both wanted to see wanted to see if he was treated the same way I was, and he was not. He was listened to and when he told the guy to back off, he did.
I am well aware that posture and gait are important. I've coached runners, triathletes and have taught skiing.
Having me turn to the side (more than once and commenting on my butt) was not necessary nor appropriate and he did not do that to my boyfriend (guys' posture and gait don't matter?) He also didn't have my boyfriend bounce on the exercise ball (I guess his core strength didn't matter?) FWIW, I'm in way better shape than the BF as I've been actively running, cycling, kayaking, Samba and Bellydancing, so I would think it would be even more important to look at his gait, posture and core strength.
And yes, the fact that he behaved inappropriately with me does stand on it's own. With that said, being able to compare how he treats a man versus how he treats a woman is very good information to have. It's not just about being creepy/borderline sexual harassment, it's about not respecting and listening to a woman.
This gym also has several negative reviews (from women, big surprise) that involve this guy (I linked those reviews in my email to the company which should be monitoring that sort of thing)
He is a problem.
It's not just me.
If it were just me and I wanted/needed a trainer, I'd just find another one; but that's not the case here.
The company needs to deal with him. Maybe he just needs education, training and to be monitored to make certain that this behavior changes/doesn't continue.
Sadly, this is the only gym in town that I can take classes at which works with my crazy work schedule; I've researched all of the other gyms and they won't work.
Luckily, there is another location, which is on my way to work that I can use when I go in to do weights and I'll only have to go into the one where he is if I'm taking classes and will go straight to that room and stay far away from the weight floor.
Any other gym I've belonged to would have someone show you the machines, how to use them safely and to recommend some exercises. I didn't get that from him, so I've pulled up old workouts from previous gyms and have researched the machines they have there so I know how to properly adjust them and align my joints with the cams to prevent injury.
You have definitely laid out a detailed case against this trainer. It’s helpful because it makes it more than a he said, she said kind of situation.
Those people who want to nitpick and rationalize this guy’s behavior are also part of the problem IMO.
There are enough good trainers out there that there is no need to tolerate guys like this, not even for a second. There are 8 male trainers at our center. They all work with females of all ages. Not once in 8 years have I ever seen anything that remotely resembles what you have described.
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Why do people believe they need these personal trainer parasites?
Working out is quite simple.
Go to exrx.net1 -
He was completely inappropriate and shouldn't be touching you in any way especially if you've told him not to several. I've had a male personal trainer before and the only time he ever touched me was to hold my hand to help me on and off equipment if my legs or sore/help me with a workout I was struggling with, but in no way did he ever comment on my butt or make me jump on an exercise ball when it was my induction session.
I'm glad that you reported it as he shouldn't be doing that at all. Seems like such a creep if he's doing it with most of the women that have gone to the gym and reviewed it with complaints about him. The gym itself should be keeping track of their reviews and take into account of what people are saying, especially if it's complaints against one of their members of staff and involves harassment.
I hope that this get sorted out soon.0 -
Touching is common and sometimes necessary. I've had plenty of coaching, training, massage and chiropractic work so I'm certainly not "touch phobic"
What creeped me out was the repeated touching of my hair and that fact that he was grabbing a part of my body that I told him hurt and had to tell him three times to get his hands off before he did.
There was a point where I thought I was going to have to hit him.
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