Rest days?

I love the gym, but no matter what splits I try for weight training, there is always a day where I just need a day off because my muscles are demanding a break.

I am not exactly sure what you mean by 'self sabotage'. A little guilt is normal, but you really have to think of rest days as a necessary part of the training/recovery process.

Maybe on your 'off days', do yoga, stretching, or some simple steady state cardio that isn't too demanding on the muscles and still has benefits.

Ideally I will do something every day, it's just better for me that way. However, the intensity varies based on how I feel and I do not do the same type of exercise every day. If I really need a rest day I take it.

I lift 3 days a week. I follow a progressive plan set by my PT, which is pretty varied but also includes most of the standard big lifts.
It's all I can do without things starting to get worse rather than better over the medium term!

I also average over 12,000 steps a day, and do hike sometimes at the weekend as well - including a 4 hour epic in the Peak District on New Year's Eve!

It's hugely important for your body to get enough rest (although that's wildly different for different people), and also for you to have a plan that you can stick to consistently without self-sabotaging.
I'd be tempted to scale things back to find what is consistently manageable, do that for a few months and see what happens. If you feel like you can put another workout in, then go for it.