Need help with the basics!

ok, you have a lot going on hunny.

take things slow. the slower you take it, the more successful you will be. if you try to change EVERYTHING at once, you are more likely to fail and to gain even more weight and smoke more due to stress. it can be a vicious cycle.

somewhere on one of these boards is my whole story, but ill give the cliffs notes version. over a period of YEARS I (1) quit smoking and ditched the dr pepper (probably a 6 pack a day). increased water. that was step and period one

then .... probably the next 6 months to a YEAR .... started monitoring what i ate, and trying to make more conscious decisions. I cut out fast food except for rare occasions. i didnt log or weigh food, or at least not often, but i did try to be overall healthier in my choices.

THEN... started walking. every other day, every 3 days. whatever. just to get in the habit. the more i did it, the more i WANTED to do it. And then I joined a gym.

FINALLY .... i stated COUNTING calories. weighing food. combined with the gym.

all of this, while caring for dying grandparents, a disabled husband (later ex), 2 houses, 2 kids, and a foster kid oh and owning and running a business.

it took a period of 5 years for all this, I've lost 100 pounds. I've mostly maintained the last year, and am now working on losing the last 50 I have to lose.

I FIRMLY believe the ONLY reason I have been successful is because I built my habits SLOWLY. It wasnt a race. there was no 'date' that i felt i had to lose any amount by. Every pound lost, was a pound healthier. I have good days and bad. I eat normal foods. nothing special. I use the recipe builder for almost everything. i dont eat out often, and rarely eat fast food (when I FIRST began, it was a near daily thing). I dont even LIKE it now.

slow and steady wins the race.