Apparently Pet Names Are Offensive

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  • BamaMomma
    BamaMomma Posts: 53
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    Thank you, Bob. You always have my back. :)

    That means so much to me, thanks again!
  • JsGirl93
    JsGirl93 Posts: 1,156
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    From the South, I completely understand, sweetie! ;)
  • SmartFunGorgeous
    SmartFunGorgeous Posts: 699 Member
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    I use pet names all the time, sweetie! I AM from Oklahoma, so it may be a cultural thing, 'cause I'm usually unaware of it (at least in speech).
  • MiniMichelle
    MiniMichelle Posts: 807 Member
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    :flowerforyou: I love pet names :) From honey, to dollface, to darling, to lover and lovercakes... I just love them all.
  • lil_missfit
    lil_missfit Posts: 565 Member
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    I grew up in florida and now live in wisconsin. IMHO pet names are okay girlfriend to girlfreind but here or on facebook or really any other place it just isnt looked at as appropriate. You never know what kind of relationship the person has with their significant other and why put out there any doubt. While i agree it is not your problem what their relationship may be, it is kind to be considerate and refrain -especially if someone lets you know that it doesnt work for them. i dont think it was meant to be a personal attack on you- it just didnt work for him. Forgive, move on, and try to be more open to other peoples feelings on it in the future.

    This makes total sense to me. He was just trying to tell you that it didn't work for him. He may have been deleting your comments so his SO (if there was one) wouldn't take it the wrong way (perhaps they were like that). You never know what ppl are going through at home on here.

    I don't mind the pet names but I try and keep in mind that everyone is different and it doesn't mean they are a jerk just because we may see things differently. In the end---I'm sure you still have tons of support on here so just keep pushing on:)) Good luck on your weight loss journey.
  • kristydi
    kristydi Posts: 781 Member
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    This reminded me of a funny story.

    At work we got a new co-worker who had just moved here (metro-Atlanta) from Boston. I was in the copy room with the new guy and another guy. I said something to the other guy and called him "sweetie" I thought the new guy had given himself whiplash he turned to look at me so fast. I gave him a weird look and asked "what?" He explained the whole "people where I'm from don't use pet names for anyone one other than spouses or children" thing. It became something we laughed about.

    Honestly OP, I think your response to him was over the top. He told you that something you were doing made him uncomfortable for a good reason, you called him names. In his world, your pet names were inappropriately intimate. Would it have been so hard to say, "Oh sorry, I didn't realize." and try not to use them with him anymore?
  • dimond1610
    dimond1610 Posts: 46
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    i live in cali and i even call people like honey or boo!
  • sweetsarahj
    sweetsarahj Posts: 701 Member
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    This reminded me of a funny story.

    At work we got a new co-worker who had just moved here (metro-Atlanta) from Boston. I was in the copy room with the new guy and another guy. I said something to the other guy and called him "sweetie" I thought the new guy had given himself whiplash he turned to look at me so fast. I gave him a weird look and asked "what?" He explained the whole "people where I'm from don't use pet names for anyone one other than spouses or children" thing. It became something we laughed about.

    Honestly OP, I think your response to him was over the top. He told you that something you were doing made him uncomfortable for a good reason, you called him names. In his world, your pet names were inappropriately intimate. Would it have been so hard to say, "Oh sorry, I didn't realize." and try not to use them with him anymore?

    This!!!!
  • sgv0918
    sgv0918 Posts: 851 Member
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    Wisconsin girl here - it comes and goes but i use pet names. As long as its not obnoxious who cares. He prob had a crazy jealous spouse. Screw it
  • 1debralou
    1debralou Posts: 2 Member
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    You sound judgemental. Do you think you can truley " rule the world" too? Why not accept other people's feelings and maybe by saying you are "just being yourself", can behave in a more friendly way toward us that are not southerners and find your "pet names" out of place with "friendly name calling". Note that your once friends only deleted your messages, they didn't tell you to take a hike as you did to them. tisk-tisk. So now "missy", get off your soapbox...(no offense intended for people with the name "Missy",just trying to make a point of "offensive" pet names.

    Good luck and I still enjoy Southern Hospitality.
  • boomboom011
    boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
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    i am from the south and it drives me crazy. i dont mind when its someone that knows me. But its so oogie when i go to a convenient store and someone behind the counter calls me hun or sweetie.

    I am not offended its just oogie. however not everyone feels that way and i wont ever tell someone not to call me that unless it becomes condescending or in the middle of an argument.

    i dont think you were wrong in calling him honey but i think the shallow comment was uncool. you should have just said "bless your heart" cause as we all know in the south what that really means. lol
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    Wisconsin girl here - it comes and goes but i use pet names. As long as its not obnoxious who cares. He prob had a crazy jealous spouse. Screw it

    I was raised on a 192k acre cattle ranch. EVERYONE female was 'hun' clear up until 6.5yrs ago, at which point I met my ex, and was informed that was no longer allowed. When we split, one of the first habits that came back was that (my family here in rural Nevada still talk that way). It's hilarious, because I even call her that...which recently got me a Facebook message from her 'new' boyfriend lol. I didn't bother to inform him that I'd probably call his mother the same thing. I figure, let him stew in it, you know lol?

    Jealousy over pet names is silly. It's not like they're touching your significant other...and unless they're taking other liberties along with it (LIKE touching...which also can be a cultural thing)...who cares?
  • JsGirl93
    JsGirl93 Posts: 1,156
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    Wisconsin girl here - it comes and goes but i use pet names. As long as its not obnoxious who cares. He prob had a crazy jealous spouse. Screw it

    I was raised on a 192k acre cattle ranch. EVERYONE female was 'hun' clear up until 6.5yrs ago, at which point I met my ex, and was informed that was no longer allowed. When we split, one of the first habits that came back was that (my family here in rural Nevada still talk that way). It's hilarious, because I even call her that...which recently got me a Facebook message from her 'new' boyfriend lol. I didn't bother to inform him that I'd probably call his mother the same thing. I figure, let him stew in it, you know lol?

    Jealousy over pet names is silly. It's not like they're touching your significant other...and unless they're taking other liberties along with it (LIKE touching...which also can be a cultural thing)...who cares?
    Yes! down here touching is very much a cultural thing! EVERYONE gets a hug & a kiss, from the oldest to the youngest! Caught myself huggging one of my hubs friends I REALLY don't like out of habit, he hugged me I hugged him back. You know what he said? "How ya doing honey?" Haha!
  • calibri
    calibri Posts: 439 Member
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    I do not like pet names or strangers touching me. Repeatedly calling people you don't know by pet names when they've asked you to stop is just arrogant and unnecessary. Just because you're used to it doesn't mean everyone else is like you. There's nothing wrong with being sensitive to other's personalities rather than raging at them when they don't like over familiarity.
  • pumpkinmoccasin
    pumpkinmoccasin Posts: 316
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    Where I come from pet names like that are usually reserved for your spouse/significant other and if you use it out of that context it's generally perceived as patronizing. I wouldn't personally be offended if someone online said something like that to me (especially because people come from ALL OVER online, I mean really!) but if someone I know in real life that I'm not close to, like a university acquaintance, called me "honey" I probably would be creeped out or at least irritated.
  • ohwhataday
    ohwhataday Posts: 1,398 Member
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    If my husband ever calls me his boo.. it's over!
  • NotGoddess
    NotGoddess Posts: 1,198 Member
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    An Iowan here. Most people around here don't do it but it is not uncommon to hear 'sugar', 'honey', 'sweetie', or 'darlin'. I used to be bothered by it but as I worked on my social skills to be more outgoing I found myself popping out 'hon', sweetie' and 'sweets' when I was trying to be more casual and friendly. If someone asks me not to, then I do refrain. I also use y'all a lot. :) I do reserve 'baby' as a close-couples/flirting word tho.

    On the ma'am thing- I'm 39 and I -hate- being called ma'am as it makes me feel so old. BUT I realize I'm not a miss anymore, and people are just trying to be polite. I just grin and bear it, or in the right circumstances correct them and tell them to call me 'Sara', 'Mistress' :) or Pretty Pretty Princess.
  • ImNotThatBob
    ImNotThatBob Posts: 371 Member
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    If my husband ever calls me his boo.. it's over!

    If your husband says boo, he's probably getting you ready for a scary zombie date night movie. Fright Night anyone?
    (will the cheesy 80's franchise reboot revival never cease?) LOL

    I totally get what you meant by "calling me his boo". If he called me that it'd be over between us too and I don't even know your husband. (Sorry, I'm just in an I haven't eaten since yesterday and my mind is being affected by it state of extreme silliness. Please forgive. :noway: :ohwell: )
  • HollieDoodles
    HollieDoodles Posts: 678 Member
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    That's too bad.

    I use that stuff a bunch too. It comes out more when I'm talking, rather than writing. If I'm at a store and I talk to someone, anyone, I usually call them hun or sometimes honey. It's just normal for me. Sometimes I don't use it though. Like when I get my truck's oil changed. I don't say my normal, "Great. Thanks, hun. Have a good day."anymore because those guys take it seriously.... ex: I was walked to my truck and he opened the door for me with a goofy grin on his face. Friendly guy, but not was I was going for. LOL

    When it comes to someone I am in a relationship with, then I say other stuff.
  • ImNotThatBob
    ImNotThatBob Posts: 371 Member
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    ...Repeatedly calling people you don't know by pet names when they've asked you to stop is just arrogant and unnecessary....

    The point was he didn't ask her to stop, he just deleted her posts with out communicating with her the reason why. When she asked him why, he was offensive and deleted her friends status. She was just responding out of frustration to his definitely un-gentleman like treatment of her.

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