**PLEASE READ** MOTIVATION NEEDED AND SUPPORT NEEDED!!

slifter16
slifter16 Posts: 53 Member
edited November 24 in Motivation and Support
Just a bit about my background history so everyone can know a little about me. I have ALWAYS been a bigger girl, from my size and even my height! (I was taller than everyone in elementary, even some of my teachers) I was always the bigger girl. I’ve never been the regular size. I always looked older than my age and that’s what made some men look at me as if I were older. (I was 9 and started puberty early) You always hear, “OH YOUR BEAUTIFUL THE WAY YOU ARE!” “REAL MEN WANT CURVES, NOT STICKS” “IF A MAN CANT ACCEPT YOU FOR WHO YOU ATE THEN HE DOESNT DESERVE” and so on and so on. I’ve been told all my life to be presentable for a man’s preference and not my own, even though I was to young to know about that type of stuff. So I began to “love” myself and kept eating and eating and eating and eating. I have in the past tried to exercise and stay on a healthy diet MULTIPLE times but it only ends in failure. I’ll stick to it for about 3 days then give up .. money wasted on gym and everything. I am 20 years old now, and I weigh about 365. It’s not fun. It’s not healthy. I’m tired of people telling me “I look good how I look”. I’m not a FETISH, I’m a human being who has a weight problem and can’t control my eating right along with depression and stress. This past week I was supposed to be on a diet and have eaten whole pizzas, fast food, candy, chips, cookies and I’m just giving up on myself and it hurts. It’s hard trying to stay motivated nowadays with these plus size models and everything trying to justify being over weight now. I just want to be happy. Be the “me” that I’ve never seen a day in my life. If there is anyone who would consider adding me or even messaging me, please do so! I’m in need of support and motivation.

Replies

  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    Try to relax. To make it easier to relax: Don't go on a diet - your diet is just what you eat! And remember that you are unique, just like everybody else ;)
  • slifter16
    slifter16 Posts: 53 Member
    kommodevaran wrote: »
    Try to relax. To make it easier to relax: Don't go on a diet - your diet is just what you eat! And remember that you are unique, just like everybody else ;)
    thank you so much for the kind words!

  • lucerorojo
    lucerorojo Posts: 790 Member
    Have you put your stats in mfp? Start there and take it one meal at a time.
  • Ming1951
    Ming1951 Posts: 433 Member
    Yes many of us have been where you are and many still are. So welcome aboard.
    I have found you have to do this for you, for your health and for your well being.I find when I lose weight I feel better, I can do more of the things I want to do. I enjoy walking now, I put some headphones on take an hour for me and just walk. I drink a lot of water now. At first I hated water now when I first wake up I drink down 2 -8oz glasses before I have my coffee. I use to load my coffee with 2 diet sugars and coffee creamer, now I drink it black. That took me awhile but slowly I cut back. I actually like it this way now, I don't like sweet in the mornings anymore. Though I still like them, lol. Before I eat a meal or a snack I drink 8 oz of water. Its amazing how water curbs my appetite most times. I eat less. The unfortunate part is there better be a bathroom nearby anywhere I go. You can do it. Do it for you, be who you want to be. Start slowly, get rid of the fast food, Make yourself sit at a table in a chair to eat, no eating in car or in front of tv. Find something to occupy your hands or mind so you don't eat mindlessly. I eat mindlessly and now will walk or get this I bought a round loom and have been knitting hats for hospitals and places like st jude. I've never been good at this sort of thing but a loom really makes it easy. Find something you like to do.
    Remember you can do it. We all want to be healthy,. You will feel so much better and your stress will get better and if your depressed it to will be better too. As I lost my 60 lbs I never felt so good in my life.
  • estherdragonbat
    estherdragonbat Posts: 5,283 Member
    Sent you a friend request.
  • sharono2018
    sharono2018 Posts: 6 Member
    I think it is amazing that at such a young age ( I'm 60. Where did the time go???) You are setting out on a journey to make changes in your life. It's wonderful!!!! I have only been doing this a little while, but so far so good. There are certain foods I have been addicted to - soda mainly - and for some reason, I have been successfully cutting back. For me , writing down everything I eat has been so helpful. Some days I go over the recommended caloric intake, but many times I am surprised that I am hitting the mark. Trying not to get obsessed with weighing myself, but looking at each new day as an opportunity to make better choices and become healthier. I wish you success as you begin your journey!!! I don't know how to friend request on MFP, but please feel free to friend request me. I will try to figure it out !!!
  • HalaMadrid94
    HalaMadrid94 Posts: 30 Member
    Feel completely free to add/message me. I can relate to much of this , I don't know a thinner version of myself , not since I was like six anyway! I'm also a serial starter. I'm 23 years old and I've got about 140 lbs to lose to get to where I ought to be.
  • currenteventsb1
    currenteventsb1 Posts: 14 Member
    I definitely relate. I have also sabotaged myself every time I think "i'm going on a diet". As others have said, it's a lifestyle change. Don't think of it as a diet. Think of it as making a better choice for you. If you have a pizza and eat the whole thing but skip the pop that is STILL doing better. For real. Every time you make a choice that's healthier for you that's better. Even if the whole meal isn't healthy. You can do this, the first step is to believe in yourself. No matter the plan it'll fail if you don't believe you can do it. You're worth the effort! Add me if you want. I'm starting my journey again too.
  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,539 Member
    Start tracking. You can use the diary on MFP, or just use pen and paper. Just start making a list of everything you eat or drink. Don’t worry about counting calories. Just track.

    Why? It’s a thing to do, as opposed to most diet things which are things to not do. Tracking is proactive. Even if you lose control, the situation is not hopeless. You can still track. In fact, tracking the things you’d rather not think about is the important part. Everyone wants to track their good days, but you need to track every day. The sooner you start the better.

    After your habit of tracking is firmly in place you can start crunching numbers. But tracking now will help you get control. When you track, you are driving the process. Research has shown it’s the #1 weight loss tool. You can do this.
  • TWRUNNER32
    TWRUNNER32 Posts: 62 Member
    You can add me!
  • aylerz
    aylerz Posts: 27 Member
    I'm in the same boat. It has taken me many "diets" and "weight loss goals" to realize that I like what I like. Sometimes I want to eat chicken nuggets. That's okay for me, as long as I'm not doing it every single day. It also took me a long time to realize that when I get too neurotic about my planning/dieting that I fall off the wagon and crash really hard, because I've overwhelmed myself. That sounds like what you're going through - you might just be overwhelmed!

    I'm by no means a success story yet (but I want to be), so I don't know how qualified I am to give advice, but what works for me so far, diet wise, is to:
    1. Have reasonable goals. I totally go by 5 pound goals. For me, a 25 pound goal is just too much at one time.
    2. Only weigh myself once a week. It's tough, but it's totally worth it to hold out to stop myself from becoming too obsessed and overwhelmed.
    3. Cut out or add little things at a time. I started by adding more veggies, through soups. I make big pots of vegetable soups and eat them as an appetizer to my main meal. It helps to fill me up, but I don't feel like I'm depriving myself. Now, I eat less every meal. My most recent win in this department was only having 2 sliders at a party, and filling up on hummus and veggies instead. I still had the sliders, but I ended up having 2 instead of 5.
    4. Tracking the bad stuff as well as the good. I force myself to track the 5 cookies that I'm ashamed of, even if I don't want to.
    5. I'm not ashamed of the days I eat chicken nuggets or pizza, because I know that I still have more days ahead to reach my 5 pound goal. It's only 5 pounds, right? I tell myself that one day won't sabotage my entire goal, and so far it hasn't!

    Feel free to add me!
  • fatoldladyonamission
    fatoldladyonamission Posts: 581 Member
    Hi, I felt the same way you do but finally got a kick in the backside from overhearing friends talking about me and my weight. It gave me a total shock and from that here I am. It was like a bucket of cold water knowing what they really thought. Anyway that was about three weeks ago and I’m doing a 5:2 fasting diet where I’ll fast two days and only have 500 calories from shakes, the other five days I stick to my MFP calories of 1350. I must have been going way over the top before I started because I’ve lost 27lbs in that three weeks taking me from 325lbs to under 300. I haven’t been there in a very long time. What I’m trying to say is that it is possible and sometimes you just need a switch flipped in your head and you can do it, though I hope your flip isn’t as painful as mine, I’m sure you’ll find it.

    MFP is great and the key really is in logging absolutely everything and not eating more than half you exercise calories back. I don’t even log any walking I do just yet because I know the temptation will be too much for me. Good luck on your journey and I’ll send you a friend request. There’s also a great thread for those over 350lbs running too, take a look. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
  • drea2011
    drea2011 Posts: 874 Member
    Hey!!!
    I want you to know I’ve been there I’ve literally water a whole large pizza, dessert and guzzled a 2 liter on my own! I’ve started over many times as well. This time it WILL be different. I started meal prepping on Sundays-and making 4-5 different dishes and packing them for the week. I started 1/1 eating healthier and 3rd week in and I feel so much better. I get my butt up and work out in the am on weekdays, weekends I’m lenient but I still have to work out! Fill the house up with things that won’t be bad if you over eat! Also, I’ve been putting of spending more time with the Lord. Mind body and spirit! If you need to talk to some one about emotional eating do it!! Take care of you! Good luck! We got this lets make 2018 the best year yet!
  • Momepro
    Momepro Posts: 1,509 Member
    Hey Hon, we KNOW how hard this *kitten* is. So first off, take a deep breath, relax and remind yourself that you are here BECAUSE you love your body, and you want what's best for it.
    Second make things simpler for yourself. Don't worey about changing what you eat quite yet. First get a kitchen scale, and start weighing and logging EVERYTHING you eat. As you do, also note how you feel before, during and an hour after each thing, as well as why youere eating. Is it breakfast time? Were you hungry, bored, watching TV? Are you still hungry, comfortable, bloated? At this point don't worry about changing things, you are just getting a solid baseline and eating pattern, and fetting used to logging and weighing food without judgment. After several days, (I generally suggest 1-2 weeks) you can really start seeing where you can make better choices, to lower how much you are consuming. Maybe start by eating one less of something at each neal, and ligging gow tbat makes you feel. Maybe eating only meat and cheese or even just meat from your Subway sandwiches. Maybe trading chips for popcorn, or snacking for crafting while watching tv? Take things slowly, and treat yourself nicely, and let the small sustainable changes become a habit, before moving to the next small change. Otherwise instead of creating a new, healthy lifestyle for yourself, you'll ebd up burning out, getting angry, feeling guilty, and torturing yourself all over again.
    It took you 20 years to fet where you are, give yourself 3 or 4 to get to where you want to be.
  • jahshadow
    jahshadow Posts: 4 Member
    Don’t overwhelm yourself, if you try to change every at once it will seem so much harder. I would give yourself a couple of weeks to simply journal on what you actually eat, which if judgement, and how you are feeling emotionally. Start making gradual changes and get the foods and supplies you need to be successful. You didn’t get there overnight and you will not reclaim your health and happiness overnight. Give yourself permission to do it your way
  • Kezzah183
    Kezzah183 Posts: 21 Member
    edited January 2018
    oolou wrote: »
    I think it can be hard to get started when you have always been overweight, because it's hard to imagine a time when you will be slim - and it seems impossible to get there. I understand, as I've always been overweight since a teenager and I have often sabotaged my efforts to slim down.

    First things first, head to the success forum and start to look at the pictures people have shared of their before and after. It really helps to see that those who were once obese are now at a healthy weight. And as you look at those photos, start to realise that those who are heavier than you have managed to lose their excess weight - and so can you. When you have some self-belief that you can do this, it will make it easier to start in a more committed fashion.

    Then I wouldn't try to diet at all for the first fortnight. Instead get into the habit of logging what you eat. Don't set any goals, just learn how to weigh and log your food in your food diary.

    After that, then you can start to think about what to cut out or back on. Don't try to go the whole hog initially. Just start to make a few changes. Making small steps at first that you can sustain will help you progress.

    Good luck!

    Exactly this it’s great advice!!
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