220 pounds and struggling to stay motivated :(
Icandothis1415
Posts: 7 Member
I started at 219 pounds (5 foot 5), today I am 216.8 pounds. I'm really starting to lose motivation. The diet Itself isn't hard- it's just staying motivated! I just can't stop thinking about how far away my goal Weight is (150 pounds). It seems like I'm never going to get there and then I just give up. And then I start thinking If I'd started a year ago, I'd be at my goal Weight by now! I never usually get past 1-2 days of a diet, so I just feel I'm never going to get there. Sorry to write such a pessimistic post I'm just really struggling. I'm 18 and I feel like I really need to do this, not only for looks, but for my future health!
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Replies
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Just take it one day at a time.2
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Not to be harsh, but you need to forget about the idea of motivation. It's clearly not going to get you there.
You need to develop a clear and specific plan and follow it. Focus on small changes and give yourself a chance to get used to one or two before you add on something else.
I'm guessing you go all out crazy with your "diet" that's not even remotely realistic. Step back, get some perspective, make a reasonable plan you can stick with because it's not too restrictive and get to work.
And like the posted above said, take it one day at a time.
I truly wish you all the best.8 -
Also, if you like some specific advice on a sensible eating plan to help you get to your goal, there's a ton of very helpful information right here in the forums. The pinned posts (stickies) at the top of the pages are a great place to start.4
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Motivation is fleeting and is tied to your emotions. You need to make a logical decision.
Do you get up and go to work every day? Do you require motivation? You get up and do it even though you don't want to some days, even though you'd rather stay in bed, because the end of the story is - if you don't go to work, you lose your job and you can't pay your bills.
This is the same thing. You need to want to see that story ending (of being at goal weight) more than you want just give up and eat too many calories.
I've been struggling for years and years with this - 15 years in fact since I first became aware - or rather, first accepted the fact - that I am obese. I've been obese for 15 or more of the last 20 years!!! And I was so motivated, then not motivated, then motivated - I truly let my emotions make my decisions.
Until you see weight loss as a necessary thing you have to do for your health, rather than something to do because you "feel motivated to do it" - you will fail - as I have since 2003.
This time I am looking at it like I do any other thing that I HAVE to do - that I MUST do. I have responsibilities and I can't do them if I wait till I "FEEL" like it.
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ladyhusker39 wrote: »Not to be harsh, but you need to forget about the idea of motivation. It's clearly not going to get you there.
You need to develop a clear and specific plan and follow it. Focus on small changes and give yourself a chance to get used to one or two before you add on something else.
I'm guessing you go all out crazy with your "diet" that's not even remotely realistic. Step back, get some perspective, make a reasonable plan you can stick with because it's not too restrictive and get to work.
And like the posted above said, take it one day at a time.
I truly wish you all the best.
Thankyou, I think you are right. I've been trying to do 1200 calories and lots of exercise. I'm going to keep looking on this forum for some ideas to create a plan.
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For the record, if you’re doing the minimum of 1,200 calories (and for any goal that MFP gives you) you are supposed to eat back what you exercise off. So don’t be pushing yourself so hard and starving doing it when you could be eating more and still losing ^^Icandothis1415 wrote: »ladyhusker39 wrote: »Not to be harsh, but you need to forget about the idea of motivation. It's clearly not going to get you there.
You need to develop a clear and specific plan and follow it. Focus on small changes and give yourself a chance to get used to one or two before you add on something else.
I'm guessing you go all out crazy with your "diet" that's not even remotely realistic. Step back, get some perspective, make a reasonable plan you can stick with because it's not too restrictive and get to work.
And like the posted above said, take it one day at a time.
I truly wish you all the best.
Thankyou, I think you are right. I've been trying to do 1200 calories and lots of exercise. I'm going to keep looking on this forum for some ideas to create a plan.
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Icandothis1415 wrote: »ladyhusker39 wrote: »Not to be harsh, but you need to forget about the idea of motivation. It's clearly not going to get you there.
You need to develop a clear and specific plan and follow it. Focus on small changes and give yourself a chance to get used to one or two before you add on something else.
I'm guessing you go all out crazy with your "diet" that's not even remotely realistic. Step back, get some perspective, make a reasonable plan you can stick with because it's not too restrictive and get to work.
And like the posted above said, take it one day at a time.
I truly wish you all the best.
Thankyou, I think you are right. I've been trying to do 1200 calories and lots of exercise. I'm going to keep looking on this forum for some ideas to create a plan.
I suspected something like that. For one thing I notice quite often that when someone is struggling like you are, they're almost always trying to go waaaaaay to low on calories. It's miserable. I couldn't, or more accurately I wouldn't, ever do it.
I was totally clueless about weight loss when I started here about a year ago. I had been overweight for about 15 years an had never tried to lose. I mean I knew nothing about any of it. But right out of the gate I committed to being smart with my plan and to make wise choices every step of the way because I never want to have to lose 60 lbs again. So it's just been really important for me to get it right.
I lost 35 lbs last year. I spent 4 months practicing maintenance while still overweight. Discovered that I still wasn't doing it right because I gained about 6 lbs in that 4 months. Now I'm back at it with more knowledge and understanding of what I personally need to succeed in the long run and I'm working on taking off the last 25 or so this year.
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Motivation is fleeting and is tied to your emotions. You need to make a logical decision.
Do you get up and go to work every day? Do you require motivation? You get up and do it even though you don't want to some days, even though you'd rather stay in bed, because the end of the story is - if you don't go to work, you lose your job and you can't pay your bills.
This is the same thing. You need to want to see that story ending (of being at goal weight) more than you want just give up and eat too many calories.
I've been struggling for years and years with this - 15 years in fact since I first became aware - or rather, first accepted the fact - that I am obese. I've been obese for 15 or more of the last 20 years!!! And I was so motivated, then not motivated, then motivated - I truly let my emotions make my decisions.
Until you see weight loss as a necessary thing you have to do for your health, rather than something to do because you "feel motivated to do it" - you will fail - as I have since 2003.
This time I am looking at it like I do any other thing that I HAVE to do - that I MUST do. I have responsibilities and I can't do them if I wait till I "FEEL" like it.
Thankyou for writing such a detailed post! I definitely need to stop tying my emotions to food. I need to realise why I NEED to do this- and I don't think I've done that yet. I'm going to try to think more logically about it!
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I find all of your posts very encouraging. I am going to be 60 years old this year. And, have been fighting my weight for almost 40 of those years. I have lost up to 90 lbs at one time. I just couldn't seem to keep it off. It seems that time has caught up to me. And like you, Icandothis1415, I felt the need to give up. My last attempt was with Weight Watchers. In 2 years, I managed to lose 11 lbs. Not very motivating. And a waste of money. So I quit. And cried a lot. I had tried every diet out there over my 40 years. My heart just wasn't in it anymore. Today, I still have over 60 lbs to lose. Very daunting if you ask me. There are days when I just can't do it anymore. Then I look in the mirror. I had an epiphany about 2 months ago. You know, that moment when you finally figure it out? Motivation, fight, willingness, need, want or even desire, wasn't doing for me. I figured out two things. I wasn't doing for myself and I was not holding myself accountable. I was blaming the food, the TV, My upbringing etc.. I couldn't do it because it was always something other than me preventing me from losing weight. WRONG! IT WAS ME! I needed to hold MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE. Just me. I'm not saying it is easy now. Oh my, not even close. But, everyday, I have to hold MYSELF accountable. By logging my food, My exercise, and my weight. I am new to this app. And, have found myself actually losing weight! It's like the one reply said. It's like going to work every day. You just do it. I have been doing this for 4 months now. Now it is part of my day. And have lost 20 lbs. Who knew!? I am not saying this will work for you. What I am saying is, you need to look to yourself. Find INSIDE of you that epiphany! I have been at this for almost 40 years, I WILL NOT GIVE UP. I WILL NEVER SURRENDER! I will be sexy at 60! (July). My heart is with you. My hope is with you. I know that in time, you will find your epiphany. Never give up, never surrender!6
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At 220 you should be eating more than 1200 calories. Set up myfitness pal to help you follow their calorie recommendations and then anything else you do is pure bonus! If you walk - guess what - bonus! if you get 11 glasses of water in - Bonus! If you pass by that treat - Bonus - or if you have extra calories you might get to eat more realistically for you.
No wonder your losing motivation its not sustainable. You can do this! I bet you can make it to 210 soon! then break that 200 - then onward!4 -
@rowenasdream I started at 220 with a goal of 150, exactly where you are. It took me two solid years to lose it (plus a bit more) and I’m successfully maintaining.
You can do it the hard way and white knuckle through month after dreadful month— OR, you can hunker in at a modest deficit and enjoy the ride. Your call.
Just remember the end game is to keep it off.7 -
I am 234 and I eat anywhere between 1200 and 1500 calories a day. Plus I eat back some of my exercise calories.0
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i was 216.8 today also! How active are you?? I am eating quite a bit more calories for you. Add me as a friend if you'd like!!!!
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First of all, good for you taking steps to improve your health at the age of 18. It took me until age 48 to get a clue!
One thing that helped me was realizing that it's not a matter of being on a diet for a long time. You are not on a diet, and there is no time limit. You are fixing your life by eating the way you need to eat, and you need to do this for the rest of your life! If you think of it as a diet, you will gain every pound back when you return to the way of eating which made you overweight in the first place. Once you realize that this is your life, and you need to live it right, everything starts to fall into place. You don't need to suffer now to be happy later. Start working on being happy now - find things you enjoy eating and doing which make you happy AND fit your goals.
Figure out why you were overeating in the first place and figure out ways to change your situation to make it easier to eat the right amount. Bored? Find something to do. Emotional eater? Find solutions to problems instead of eating to ignore them. Parents make fatty food? Figure out ways to improve the situation - maybe your mother would be interested in learning some healthier recipes, or maybe you can eat fewer meals with your family. Friends like to go out for junk food? find other places to go.1 -
OP, there's been some great advice given! Take a look at the posts under Getting Started http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10300331/most-helpful-posts-getting-started-must-reads#latest
Chock full of great information by people that have been exactly where you are now. Don't beat yourself up, keep the positivity about the good things you are doing for yourself.
I wish you the best of luck on your journey
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@Icandothis1415
A lot of good advice given here. The one thing I want to touch on with you... if you think that the amount you have to lose is overwhelming for you. I started at 254.6 and I'm currently at about 173 with 8/9 pounds left to go. I felt overwhelmed by the amount I needed to lose as well in the beginning. How I did it was to do it in 10 pound chunks. Get under 250, get under 240, get under 220, etc. This will make it much more doable for you and you won't feel as overwhelmed. You are young and you have your whole life ahead of you. Don't make the same mistake some of us older people have made. If you get it under control now and maintain it will be a habit and you will be healthy for the rest of you life.3 -
Melissa that is what I am doing this time around. Instead of looking at it as 100lbs... I am doing 25lbs at a time.1
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Don't give in! I'm 5'5'' 232 lbs. My goal is 135 lbs (that's the healthy weight for my height) but my ultimate goal is to get into the routine of good eating. I would always overeat and its what bit me and got me to my size I am but I recently started at 2000 calories a day and was like, "I can do better" so I bumped it down to 1,900 and started walking regularly (one day I did 6 miles in a day but my average is about 2 miles, just walking to the store and back) and then today, I decided to continue my exercises but bring my calories down to 1,500. Replenishing as I exercise. You can do, don't give up! Remember, a diet is temporary...you're changing your lifestyle0
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Since I have really started tracking my weight, I've lost about 5 lbs over 3 weeks or so, it's rough but can be done, it's nailing down a routine 0
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I'm the same height and weight as you. We got this :')0
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I've lost 37 lbs. Since July 2017. I started at 237 and am now 200. I have 63 lbs. To go. I started with losing 2lbs. Per week. I was fine with that for the first 25 lbs. Then my calorie allotment reached 1200. I did that for four days! Could not sustain that. I'm eating 1610 now plus exercise calories to lose 1 lb. per week.
Up your calories to lose 1-1.5 lb. per week. Your deficit is probably too agressive. It is better to lose .5 or 1 lb per week than to quit altogether trying to lose 2lbs.0 -
Try setting yourself little goals such as 200lb then 190 then 180. Then it’s not so far away. This is what helps me as I want to get to 150 too and currently 207. No pressure but I’ve sent you a friend request if you need someone to talk to when it get tough xx0
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Try setting yourself little goals such as 200lb then 190 then 180. Then it’s not so far away. This is what helps me as I want to get to 150 too and currently 207. No pressure but I’ve sent you a friend request if you need someone to talk to when it get tough xx
I've had so many really helpful replies! Thankyou, I've accepted your friend request, we can do this! xx
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Iladyhusker39 wrote: »Not to be harsh, but you need to forget about the idea of motivation. It's clearly not going to get you there.
You need to develop a clear and specific plan and follow it. Focus on small changes and give yourself a chance to get used to one or two before you add on something else.
I agree. I was listening to the podcast "Tips of the Scale" recently, and they had a guest on who said something that really stuck with me. She said that she just had a goal and she Did What Was Required. It's something Ive repeated to myself a million times in the last couple of weeks when I Was trying to avoid cupcakes lol.
Do what is required for your health and your body.
I actually caved last night though. We got a ton of snow dumped on us, and I had to work nights, and when I went to get into my car, I couldn't get it off the street. I had to walk to the bus stop in calf high snow and I was wiped out by the time I Got there. So I bought some cookies.
By the time I got to work, my stomach was turning because I'd turned down all the "bad" food for the last couple of weeks. And I've started actually craving vegetables. Which is something I NEVER. THOUGHT. WOULD. HAPPEN.
Do what is required. It takes motivation and will power out to the equation and just moves you onto the next task.
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Lots of motivation here. It all starts with a decision.0
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Wow, I've just recently started back up, and am in the exact same spot, motivationally, as you are! I've lost 11 pounds so far, and have been taking it 5 pounds at a time - basically I do tiny 5 pound goals. All is well, my calories are good, and I'm not even struggling with the diet, but today after looking at a bunch of transformation pics I got really discouraged. My main issue is that I feel like my goal weight is just going to take so long to get to, and that I'm never going to SEE a change. While I know I lost 11 pounds, and that's great, I can't see it, or feel it in my clothes, which is the main bummer for me.
So far, for me, the best thing that I have done is read through advice from others. I also keep reminding myself that it's going to take 3 months before anyone really notices a change in my body (myself included! some people see their changes after 1 month, but that's never been my case), so I need to wait it out a little longer. Marking down days on the calendar also helps me. If I look at my goal in number of pounds it freaks me out, but if I look at it in terms of months, it's not so scary.
Good luck and keep it up!0 -
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/ShannonMpls/view/3-years-of-mfp-130-pounds-lost-what-i-ve-learned-669627
This! This post motivated more than anything I have read.0 -
Also think about the health gains. What made me start losing weight was that my stats were not good--my blood sugar was borderline, almost pre-diabetic, my cholesterol was high. I had been very active up until about 5 years ago and I was turning into a couch potato! I couldn't walk up or down stairs without my knees aching. It was NOT me. I wrote down what I could expect if I lost the weight (my goal is 100 lbs. and I've lost 37 so far). That included, normal blood sugar and cholesterol, more energy and able to be physically active again. At 20 lbs. lost I started to feel the difference in terms of my physical activity and now definitely. I just keep looking forward to what I'm going to be able to do.
Perhaps make a list for yourself of all the things you will be able to do that you cannot do now, or whatever is important for you to lose weight. I also added rewards at every 5-10 lbs. although I haven't really followed that. For me it has been enough reward just to see the fat come off and able to do more activities.1 -
So cool you’re doing this while you’re young!! You can develop some good discipline now and you’re way ahead of the game. I agree that it’s helpful to 1) set 5 or 10 pound loss mini-goals, and 2) load the Happy Scale app on your iPhone or Libra on Android. Input your weight (I weigh most mornings) and you’ll see a nice gradual graph of your progress. Check it out!1
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When I set up my goals on MFP, I set my weight loss per week goal at 2 pounds a week which gave me 1200 calories. Then I went back and changed it to 1 pound per week and my calorie allowance went up to 1580. I left it set on 1 per week and I look at my daily calories in terms of minimum of 1200 and maximum of 1580. Some days I’m closer to the bottom and some to the top. I eat very normal foods, the same things as everyone else at the table. I just make sure I know what portions I’m eating. I don’t feel deprived and I even eat out, have an occasional ice cream or chocolate bar if it fits below my daily maximum. My calorie range gives me some wiggle room.
I am 65 and not very active as I’ve had both hips replaced. The most exercise I get is walking. I have a Fitbit so I "try" to get 3,000 steps a day. I only hit that target twice last week. Since Jan 1st this year, I’ve lost 6.4 pounds.4
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