350+ pounds Support for Men & Women

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  • alevans4
    alevans4 Posts: 37 Member
    pstimie79 wrote: »
    Good morning or evening to all . All my life ive been struggling with my weight, this morning i got the fright of my life, i am weighing more today than ive ever weighed in my life 249kg. Today i said , no more, my goal for this year is to shred 100kg by end of December.
    You can do it! I had the same experience in September last year; bought a scale that could weigh me and found I was 100 pounds more than my worst estimate. Since then I'm down 107 pounds. Just start :)
  • bmeadows380
    bmeadows380 Posts: 2,981 Member
    alevans4 wrote: »
    Dude I feel you. I'm in the same boat. For a while, when I was getting out of my car my stomach would push over the horn and beep it. Talk about embarrassing. I've also lost 100+ pounds before and gained it back. Really hoping to keep it off this time. My problem is I typically get to a place where I'm feeling so much better that I slack off a bit. Need to carry it through this time.

    Been there, too. Back in 2012, I lost 90 lbs. But fatigue set in, I plateaued, then came thyroid issues, and before I knew it, I was with 5 lbs of my highest weight all over again.

    That is what makes this round so anxiety-ridden, because I know its so easy to slip back into old patterns and habits! They say within a month you can establish a new habit, but I completely disagree with that. I've been eating this new way for a year now, and even now after a year, its so easy to slip out of the counting habit and back into the over-eating one!

    Last time, I plateaued heavily. This time around, I've slowed down, but its because I'm having such a hard time lately with fatigue, mental and physical. I'm finding it really hard to tell myself no when evening time comes around, and that's when I slip and end up eating over my calorie limit. So I try to hold as many calories as I can until evening, and try to skip or delay breakfast to compensate. And it works better some days than others. I"m at 1400 calories per day at the moment, and if I'm realistic and honest with myself, I know I'm not going to be able to go any lower than that, as I'm struggling now to eat that level. So I'm at the point where I really need to start regularly exercising - problem is, I hate exercise passionately! I had to remodel my house, so I've compensated for that with all the hard work, but that's finally tapered off.

    there's another thread on here related to diet breaks and they make a lot of sense (though I can't follow all the deep sciencey part of it all lol) It makes a lot of sense to take a break for a while, practice eating at maintenance and prepare for the day when I achieve goal weight and enter the life-long maintaining phase, but at the same time, the idea of giving myself permission to maintain for a while is very hard! I see how much more I have to lose makes it feel like giving up, and its scary because I gained it all back before and I'm terrified that if I go into maintenance for a while, that I won't be able to start up again.

    Calorie counting worked for me in 2012, but then life set in and I let my weight creep back. I tried going back to calorie counting so many times in the last 5 years, but it never clicked - will power and desire never seemed to line up, and each time I tried, I fell off the wagon quickly. I don't know what was different last January, but I tried again and it finally stuck, and now I'm a year into. So my fear is that while mentally, I'm fatigued and I know in my head that a period at maintenance would be good for me, In my heart, I'm terrified of the idea!

    Another issue I deal with is knowing in my head that the less I have to lose, the slower it will be, and that its healthier to lose less at lower weights, meaning that while being 100+ lbs overweight means that its quite realistic to lose 2 lbs per week, as the weight goes down, so too should my expectations, and I may be nearing the point where I need to adjust down to 1.5 lbs per week. But like the idea of maintenance, the idea of allowing myself permission to slow down the weight loss is also terrifying.


  • lmcclatchie
    lmcclatchie Posts: 14 Member
    An interesting and, hopefully, inspirational story I just came across:

    https://www.popsugar.com/fitness/150-Pound-Weight-Loss-44447751
  • abbyjcpc
    abbyjcpc Posts: 13 Member
    Hello!
    I’m 35, 3 kids, and highest weight was 348. I’m 326 now after 4 weeks of strict control (so hard!).

    I’m looking for some more support buddies here. I am preparing for bariatric surgery this spring and I realize the importance of getting my head and nutrition right before I do it. I’ve lost 150lbs by myself and gained/relost it several times. The yo yo has to stop for me.
  • lmcclatchie
    lmcclatchie Posts: 14 Member
    Welcome abbyjcpc - what a fantastic start! The thought of bariatric surgery (any surgery, for that matter!) is scary to me, so I'm curious how/why you came to that choice.
  • GothicsDarkAngel
    GothicsDarkAngel Posts: 78 Member
    @abbyjcpc Please be aware that the yoyo can continue after WLS. You must realize that WLS doesn't fix our mental setup. Therapy is needed. I say that as a nurse who has years of experience with WLS patients, and as a friend who has seen both sides of the WLS coin.

    I wish you all of the best. Don't be afraid to ask any questions.
  • bmeadows380
    bmeadows380 Posts: 2,981 Member
    GothicsDarkAngel wrote: »
    @abbyjcpc Please be aware that the yoyo can continue after WLS. You must realize that WLS doesn't fix our mental setup. Therapy is needed. I say that as a nurse who has years of experience with WLS patients, and as a friend who has seen both sides of the WLS coin.

    I wish you all of the best. Don't be afraid to ask any questions.

    I agree. Please thoroughly research WLS before making the decision to have it, and don't always listen to the just the success stories touted by the office and the media. there are a lot of folks who regain the weight after WLS because in order for it to be successful, you still must change your lifestyle and eating habits. The surgery forces it on you for about the first year, but if you return to your old habits you will regain the weight.

    Just a friendly caution! I'm not completely against WLS and know that there are folks for whom it is truly the last and only viable option; I'm just saying realize that it's not by any means an easy way to lose weight, and the side effects can be horrible. I always recommend that anyone considering WLS talk to folks who've had it done and preferably done more than 5 years ago-and there are plenty of folks here at MFP who can help with that! Ask them to be dead honest on the ups and downs, the pros and cons, and give advice on how to make it successful, because WLS is not something you can reverse, or in some types, reverse easily.

    Both my brother and sister in law have had it done, and they both say that there were aspects of it that they were not prepared for before. Not that they still wouldn't have made that decision, but that the reality of life afterwards wasn't what they had been led to envision.
  • evilfairies
    evilfairies Posts: 98 Member
    I have had three different primary care doctors over the last 5 years (due to moving, not because I'm picky!) and each one of them right off the bat took one look at me and said I need weight loss surgery. My current doc told me there's no other alternative. I have low blood pressure, cholesterol, and no other health issues besides my weight, so for him to tell me there's no alternative was infuriating.

    I know several people who have had surgery with great success, but I also know a couple who fell into old habits and ended up gaining their weight back anyway. You get out of it what you put into it.
  • fatoldladyonamission
    fatoldladyonamission Posts: 581 Member
    I must admit I’ve done the conversation with my doctor about having WLS. I wanted it, he didn’t want to refer me. Even though my BMI was shocking before I started doing MFP again, and probably still is! I’m kinda glad he didn’t. There’s risks with surgery and I’m a wuss. That said a friend who was a little lighter than me had it done and swears it was the best thing she ever did. She’s less than 18 post surgery though.

    I figured if I can make this work then for me it’s a whole lot cheaper than WLS and possibly easier to maintain because I’m changing my lifestyle. That doesn’t mean it’s wrong for anyone else though, just that I’ve decided to give this a go. Whatever you decide I wish you well and I hope you’ll stick around and let us continue to support you.
  • gin_rummy
    gin_rummy Posts: 222 Member
    I only bothered talking to my doctor about weight loss once - about the first time that I hit my highest weight. I didn't go in demanding surgery, just wanted some support and to make sure I was doing things safely, you know? Exactly like we keep being told we should before we start any weight loss or exercise programme when we have so much to lose.

    Her response? You don't need medical help. Just go home and pray.

    No offence to anyone of any religion, but that is NOT the advice I go to a doctor for. When a patient waddles in saying they want help with such a major issue, that is NOT professional. I mean, I actually weighed more than their scales could measure (they topped out at 24 stone - 336lb. What the hell?

    Looking back I absolutely should have filed a complaint about it, but I was in a very dark place at the time and couldn't do it. But suffice to say I have not looked for support from a doctor since!
  • fatoldladyonamission
    fatoldladyonamission Posts: 581 Member
    @gin_rummy that’s shocking! What a dreadful thing to say to you. I’m glad you found your way here! Nobody needs a doctor like that! Well done for fighting your way past it.
  • rabidhamster87
    rabidhamster87 Posts: 74 Member
    Can I just say how stoked I am that this board is becoming to popular!? Welcome to all the new folks!! I'm so glad you're here.

    Also, @lmcclatchie thanks for sharing that article! I love reading people's success stories. Especially when they include pictures! It's really inspirational for me.
  • leeonmcdaniel
    leeonmcdaniel Posts: 11 Member
    pstimie79 wrote: »
    leeonmcdaniel wrote: »
    I've noticed not a lot of guys have commented on this thread and that kinda makes me hesitant to disclose my particular weight. However I'm young at 23 going on 24 as of end of March. My whole life I've always been bigger. In High school it was fine because I played football and it didn't seem like my weight was a issue due to always running and weight lifting in gym for conditioning. however I've been out of school since 2012 and just never kept up the strict diet and weightlifting routine I had back in the day. at this current point in my life I'm over the 350 threshold and my goal is to be down to 275. It is a lot of weight to lose but that was my weight as a senior on the offensive line and I want to get back into shape. My fiancé has started something called the military diet and she has lost 5 pounds already and I plan to stick to this diet strictly along with some excising, such as walking my dogs and such. I'm hoping that this will be a good community to be apart of and not feel so judged.

    keep us in the loop my man, as this is a huge journey, its good to have all the support of youre fiancé. if indeed possible, where can we have a look at this military diet, im very curious.
    pstimie79 wrote: »
    leeonmcdaniel wrote: »
    I've noticed not a lot of guys have commented on this thread and that kinda makes me hesitant to disclose my particular weight. However I'm young at 23 going on 24 as of end of March. My whole life I've always been bigger. In High school it was fine because I played football and it didn't seem like my weight was a issue due to always running and weight lifting in gym for conditioning. however I've been out of school since 2012 and just never kept up the strict diet and weightlifting routine I had back in the day. at this current point in my life I'm over the 350 threshold and my goal is to be down to 275. It is a lot of weight to lose but that was my weight as a senior on the offensive line and I want to get back into shape. My fiancé has started something called the military diet and she has lost 5 pounds already and I plan to stick to this diet strictly along with some excising, such as walking my dogs and such. I'm hoping that this will be a good community to be apart of and not feel so judged.

    keep us in the loop my man, as this is a huge journey, its good to have all the support of youre fiancé. if indeed possible, where can we have a look at this military diet, im very curious.

    she was able to find it here http://themilitarydiet.com/military-diet-plan/. we are on our second week on our 2nd day ( gonna be eating dinner as soon as I get off) but she's lost as of this morning 14 pounds on this diet and that was with us cheating Sunday night for a birthday party at a hibachi restaurant. I can say when on the 3 days when your restricted to what you eat it can be really hard especially in the beginning
  • cassie9393
    cassie9393 Posts: 30 Member
    bmeadows380 wrote: »

    Another issue I deal with is knowing in my head that the less I have to lose, the slower it will be, and that its healthier to lose less at lower weights, meaning that while being 100+ lbs overweight means that its quite realistic to lose 2 lbs per week, as the weight goes down, so too should my expectations, and I may be nearing the point where I need to adjust down to 1.5 lbs per week. But like the idea of maintenance, the idea of allowing myself permission to slow down the weight loss is also terrifying.


    First off, from an outside perspective, you've done what my goal is which is 100 lbs in a year, and that's pretty amazing! My plan at that time will be to go into maintenance for a while, maybe 3 months (I'm sure I'll read into it to help decide), mainly because I've lost to around there before and gone into a plateau which led to eventually quitting my focus. I firmly believe you shouldn't punish yourself for choosing to maintain or decrease your weight loss per week goal when you're doing it in order to be successful in the long term! You say you're exhausted mentally, so perhaps it's time to change it up? I'd recommend, though I'm sure you know this, to only be sure to have a set date to come off maintenance if that's what you choose to do. And never quit tracking!

    So that's my unsolicited advice, for what it's worth. Good luck!
  • Philip_squish
    Philip_squish Posts: 30 Member
    .[/quote]

    she was able to find it here http://themilitarydiet.com/military-diet-plan/. we are on our second week on our 2nd day ( gonna be eating dinner as soon as I get off) but she's lost as of this morning 14 pounds on this diet and that was with us cheating Sunday night for a birthday party at a hibachi restaurant. I can say when on the 3 days when your restricted to what you eat it can be really hard especially in the beginning [/quote]

    O WOW ill have a look at it, i take it like this, every diet or life style change is a huge step, and very hard to get use to.. keep on losing those pounds
  • Philip_squish
    Philip_squish Posts: 30 Member
    JJKM02 wrote: »
    Hi there everyone! I have really enjoyed reading all of your posts. I am 44 years old, happily married, mom of two great kids, and a teacher. I actually just heard of this app on NYE and decided to check into it. I love it! Finding this thread is awesome too because at my very heaviest, I weighed it at 358lbs. I was very sick at the time and full of infection. I recovered after a major surgery and was down to 333. I vowed that I never wanted to feel that way again and began to make some changes.
    I began following dietdoctor.com and basically doing keto. I gave up bread, pop, pasta, sugar etc on January 1. I have also been swimming regularly since last May. I was losing inches, but the scale wasn't moving til I really started getting serious about what I was eating. I have lost 11.2 lbs since Jan 1 and now weigh 321.
    I look forward to joining this group full of support and encouragement. I am open to adding friends as well!
    Thanks!

    swimming is for like the best excersice there is, i love to swim..sorry to hear about the infection, glad u recovered
  • bmeadows380
    bmeadows380 Posts: 2,981 Member
    evilfairies wrote: »
    I have had three different primary care doctors over the last 5 years (due to moving, not because I'm picky!) and each one of them right off the bat took one look at me and said I need weight loss surgery. My current doc told me there's no other alternative. I have low blood pressure, cholesterol, and no other health issues besides my weight, so for him to tell me there's no alternative was infuriating.

    I know several people who have had surgery with great success, but I also know a couple who fell into old habits and ended up gaining their weight back anyway. You get out of it what you put into it.

    yep - this infuriates me as well. Some doctors just throw WLS out there as the end all be all method of weight loss and treat it like this vast panacea and the solution to the "obesity epidemic". The truth is, its not an easy solution, it is very expensive, not all medical plans cover it, and it has its own health risks. The best doctors know this and will evaluate their patients on a case by case basic to determine if WLS is an appropriate approach for that patient instead of just tossing it up to anyone. There are some folks for whom WLS was absolutely the best thing they could have ever done for their health and for whom it was a life saving intervention. But that's not true for everyone.

    thankfully, fairies, I only ever had 1 doctor tell me that and I quit seeing him because he was also one of those types of doctors who won't listen to a patient and blows them off. Those are the the kind of doctors who will take a cursory look at a patient and make a snap judgement that the complaint they are in for is because of their weight, assuming that all their health issues are due solely to their body mass, and could potentially miss something that turns out to be unrelated to the body size or at least only partly exasperated by it.

    I'm like you - I had no underlying health issues whatsoever. As far as health markers were concerned - blood pressure, cholesterol levels, blood sugar - I was healthy as a horse. I was just severely obese. What I think finally clicked and got my willpower and my desire to lose weight lined back up was knowing that as I aged, the risk factors for developing heart problems and diabetes - both which are in my family - increased dramatically and would be compounded drastically by my body weight. I don't want to be diabetic!

    fatoldladyonamission wrote: »
    I must admit I’ve done the conversation with my doctor about having WLS. I wanted it, he didn’t want to refer me. Even though my BMI was shocking before I started doing MFP again, and probably still is! I’m kinda glad he didn’t. There’s risks with surgery and I’m a wuss. That said a friend who was a little lighter than me had it done and swears it was the best thing she ever did. She’s less than 18 post surgery though.

    I figured if I can make this work then for me it’s a whole lot cheaper than WLS and possibly easier to maintain because I’m changing my lifestyle. That doesn’t mean it’s wrong for anyone else though, just that I’ve decided to give this a go. Whatever you decide I wish you well and I hope you’ll stick around and let us continue to support you.

    I know folks who say the same thing, lady - that WLS was the best thing they ever did. I also know some folks who wish they hadn't done it. Like fairies said, it really is no different than any other diet approach in the long run - making it successful takes a lot of hard work!

    I'm with you - I want to try to lose my excess weight on my own. I feel that it will be a better way for me, in the long run, to develop the healthy eating habits I need to sustain it in for life, and that its much easier on my health. And its definitely easier on my wallet! (though my wallet it taking a pretty good hit in the wardrobe area as all my previous clothes are now way, way too big!)
  • bmeadows380
    bmeadows380 Posts: 2,981 Member
    edited January 2018
    cassie9393 wrote: »
    First off, from an outside perspective, you've done what my goal is which is 100 lbs in a year, and that's pretty amazing! My plan at that time will be to go into maintenance for a while, maybe 3 months (I'm sure I'll read into it to help decide), mainly because I've lost to around there before and gone into a plateau which led to eventually quitting my focus. I firmly believe you shouldn't punish yourself for choosing to maintain or decrease your weight loss per week goal when you're doing it in order to be successful in the long term! You say you're exhausted mentally, so perhaps it's time to change it up? I'd recommend, though I'm sure you know this, to only be sure to have a set date to come off maintenance if that's what you choose to do. And never quit tracking!

    So that's my unsolicited advice, for what it's worth. Good luck!

    Thank you! That is very sound, sensible advice :) I would really like to push through to my next milestone of 260 lbs at the least, which I hope I can reach by mid-March to April, depending on my loss rate and if I take another mini-diet break (2 weeks) somewhere in February to early March. After reaching 260, I may need to be firm with myself and take a month break. If I do, though, I'll definitely follow your advice in scheduling the set date to go back into deficit! Maybe even highlight the date in my calendar with bright highlighters to really call my attention to it *grins*

    pstimie79 wrote: »
    swimming is for like the best excersice there is, i love to swim..sorry to hear about the infection, glad u recovered

    I would really like to take up swimming, but unfortunately, there isn't a pool close by to me :(


    One thing I found last summer while on a camping trip is that I really enjoyed hiking. While its unfortunately not the kind of exercise I can do on a daily basis, I really want to take some trips to some local trails this summer. The only downside to that is that I'll have to go alone, and I'm not so sure of the sensibility of that!
  • drjudybrown
    drjudybrown Posts: 4 Member
    EvilFairies... I read these blogs to keep me on track, get me in a positive mood for the day & at the end of the day to keep my head & hands busy away from snacking . You are the 1st to prompt me to reply. My family is far, genuinely concerned, but don't quite "get it". Sleep wins. I'll put on my sneakers, head downstairs to feed the cats, then lay back down on the bed with sneakers on to sleep for another hour. People suggest a light walk, my knee hurts, I limp the whole way. I detest walking. Bingeing is a box, not a sleeve. I've started to get healthy at 335, the 3rd time in my life. It's possible but it SUCKS & it's hard and worse each time, age is not my friend. Down 2.5 lbs week 1. Can't look long term, weekly goals only. I am forcing myself to sit on the kitchen chair to eat. My butt hurts, my thighs fall asleep, makes me less likely to want to stay here to binge. Couch is a no-no zone. Im sharing MFP with my Mom to keep track of food. I say and hope exercise will be easier with less weight, no time or $ for gym. I've done this before.. yo-yo. Time to break the string on the down drop. I love music, so I crank it up & find I'll dance before I walk. Great videos. I have a bike... promising myself to stay motivated and try every day. One day I'll stay awake, get moving & sit in a chair without my feet falling asleep. Evil fairy.. add someone who does not judge to your friends on MFP. I GET IT, get you. My job is 24/7 365... love my job but fitting in fitness is not easy. Keep going... we can do this together.
  • lmcclatchie
    lmcclatchie Posts: 14 Member
    Hello all - it's great so many people are sharing here on this thread.

    My weigh-in this morning showed I was down 0.6 pounds (I weigh-in every other day) and I'm actually happy about this. In the past, if I wasn't losing more weight faster I'd give up. For me, just focusing on starting to feel better, move with less pain each day, is more important than the numbers on the scale. I am changing how I think, and it's not always easy! But instead of focusing on the negative (I've done all this hard work and no weight loss, I give up!) I am trying to focus on the positive and make myself happy about that.
  • lmcclatchie
    lmcclatchie Posts: 14 Member
    @rabidhamster87 I'm glad you liked it. I found it really inspiring as well.
  • CheezWhiz88
    CheezWhiz88 Posts: 116 Member
    lmcclatchie wrote: »
    An interesting and, hopefully, inspirational story I just came across:

    https://www.popsugar.com/fitness/150-Pound-Weight-Loss-44447751

    That was a great read, thanks for sharing!

  • Mellykay88
    Mellykay88 Posts: 307 Member
    Good morning (or evening or midday) to you all! And welcome to all the new people! @Tayykisses you are absolutely welcome here!

    I noticed there has been a lot of discussion on WLS over the last day or so and I wanted to throw my two cents into the bucket. My dad had his first WLS (lap band) back in 2005. He was about 600 lbs at the time. Over the next year he went from a size 64 pants to a size 44. It was phenomenal... but buy 2009 he started regaining weight. The lap band was giving him trouble, wouldn’t stay in place and he learned what foods he could eat more of. Unfortunately, those foods happen to be things like ice cream and potato chips because, while calorie dense, they don’t take up a lot of space. By 2010 he gained all of the the weight back. In 2015 he had a second surgery (gastric sleeve) he lost maybe 100 lbs but gained it all back. The problem is, he never learned how to eat right and the surgeries pretty much keep him from eating nutritious foods.

    I realize that there have been many success stories with WLS, but there have been many horror stories as well. I encourage everyone who is considering it to read both sides. Doctors sell it as a miracle cure, but it is far from that.
  • bmeadows380
    bmeadows380 Posts: 2,981 Member
    bigjonb4116 wrote: »
    My sister had a gastric bypass and lost 8st in a year, but she has put back on 3 st, mainly because she never suffered from the 'dumping' which meant she didn't curb her eating habits, however she has got her head around the eating properly and CICO, and is back on the right path now.
    I was going to have a bypass, but for one reason and another it didn't happen, and then i changed my mindset,and eating habits and started losing weight by CICO- as of todays weigh in i have lost exactly 12st in the last 23months.

    Congratulations to you and your sister! I'm glad that's she back on track for her own sake! :)

    My brother and my SIL both experienced the dreaded dumping, though it was much more severe for my SIL than my brother. My brother, on the otherhand, has been having a horrible time with kidney stones that the doctor says is a result of the things he's eating as part of his WLS program. For his sake, I'm really hoping they can get his diet adjusted - I wouldn't wish kidney stones on my worst enemy!
  • jules81
    jules81 Posts: 83 Member
    edited January 2018
    Over here with wls on the nhs You have to do tier 3 ( which I am on) it's a 6 or 12 month program IF you complete that and loose 5%plus of your weight it can then take up to a year for the op so up to 2 years loosing 5%and maintain that weight till surgery ( then you have to see a psychatrist ) i told them i binge eat. Before the end of tier 3 (this month is month 6 ) you see thr psychatrist and have therapy so my TRIP to wls maybe a very l9ng one due to my mh priblem they have sugeeseted i do a years worth of therapy too - leaning to control my binges - I have learnt if I eat more protein I feel fuller - it's a baby step BUT it's a step. I VERY much doubt I will actually be able to loose another stone and level that for 12 month so doubt I will get the WLS so I am hoping CICO will work for me ( i went from 18 stone to 10 stone unhealthy by eating under xxx cals AND that is a bad, I wish to NEVER go down that route again)

    Day 2 for me.... has been ok ;) kept under cals and drank 2 liters of water AND green tea Xxxx

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