Does anyone else find it hard to meet a partner that shares your passion of maintenance
Replies
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collectingblues wrote: »psychod787 wrote: »How about the 'try hard to eat healthy and exercise but unfortunately loves cookies' type? lol
I am ok with that. In fact, i will bake you some cookies. Lol I mean, I am not looking for miss universe. Looks take a back seat to personality and passion. I was once that guy who would try to ruin weight loss and being healthish. Lol maybe it's just pay back. I am just looking for a person who instead of going to dominos if we want pizza, we instead grab a lidus wrap, put on some fresh tomato sauce, some part skin mozzarella, some turkey pepperoni, and lots of fresh veggies and make our own pizza. Or instead of five guy, we make it from lean ground beef, a whole wheat bun, and some baked sweet potato fries. I can cook. Lol instead of just sitting in front of Netflix, we go out for a walk, I live in florida, so I can do that nearly year round, and then enjoy Netflix. Does not get mad at me for going to the gym 4 days a week. It that asking too much? Lol
That idea of "pizza" sounds miserable -- and this coming from the woman with a restrictive eating disorder.
And pretty much sums up why I actively avoid profiles who are all "I'm fit! I go to the gym!"
I like Netflix. I like real pizza. I periodically give into a Five Guys craving.
I also run half marathons, workout 6/7 days of the week, and have a mostly balanced life, where I typically stay under 1530 calories a day.
The two concepts are not mutually exclusive. But, you and many others who wrap themselves up in fitness seem to think that it's all or nothing.
Good luck finding your perfect woman.
You find a lot of people like that here?I run in the fitness crowd here and see far more restrictions coming from the diet only posters than the people I see in the fitness forums.
I eat pizza and McDonald's on a regular basis and I stay fit so I can enjoy those things.
I think you are making a lot of assumptions and might want to make friends with more fitness oriented people. You'll find a lot of very supportive and easy going people.2 -
Wheelhouse15 wrote: »collectingblues wrote: »psychod787 wrote: »How about the 'try hard to eat healthy and exercise but unfortunately loves cookies' type? lol
I am ok with that. In fact, i will bake you some cookies. Lol I mean, I am not looking for miss universe. Looks take a back seat to personality and passion. I was once that guy who would try to ruin weight loss and being healthish. Lol maybe it's just pay back. I am just looking for a person who instead of going to dominos if we want pizza, we instead grab a lidus wrap, put on some fresh tomato sauce, some part skin mozzarella, some turkey pepperoni, and lots of fresh veggies and make our own pizza. Or instead of five guy, we make it from lean ground beef, a whole wheat bun, and some baked sweet potato fries. I can cook. Lol instead of just sitting in front of Netflix, we go out for a walk, I live in florida, so I can do that nearly year round, and then enjoy Netflix. Does not get mad at me for going to the gym 4 days a week. It that asking too much? Lol
That idea of "pizza" sounds miserable -- and this coming from the woman with a restrictive eating disorder.
And pretty much sums up why I actively avoid profiles who are all "I'm fit! I go to the gym!"
I like Netflix. I like real pizza. I periodically give into a Five Guys craving.
I also run half marathons, workout 6/7 days of the week, and have a mostly balanced life, where I typically stay under 1530 calories a day.
The two concepts are not mutually exclusive. But, you and many others who wrap themselves up in fitness seem to think that it's all or nothing.
Good luck finding your perfect woman.
You find a lot of people like that here?I run in the fitness crowd here and see far more restrictions coming from the diet only posters than the people I see in the fitness forums.
I eat pizza and McDonald's on a regular basis and I stay fit so I can enjoy those things.
I think you are making a lot of assumptions and might want to make friends with more fitness oriented people. You'll find a lot of very supportive and easy going people.
My experiences here and in real life have been that those people who go on and on about how they need someone to be as fit as they are, and to not sabotage them, and how they are so fit and work out, etc., tend to adopt black and white thinking like the OP has demonstrated and become fairly insufferable.
All fitness people? No. I didn't say all. I didn't even say "a lot". I said "many".2 -
psychod787 wrote: »I will not apologize for looking for certain character qualities in a partner.
what i'm getting from this conversation is a slight sense of mismatch. would it be fair to say that you slightly fear people who seem less committed than you?
not going to argue with you if it is; it's your life and your call, and you know more than anyone else what your own vulnerabilities are and what it will take to keep yourself on the track that you want to stay on. just saying that the impression i do get is one of fear, and it seems to be fear you're projecting a bit.
in most ways it isn't my business if you see me scarfing pizza while writing this post and instantly think 'that woman is going to sabotage me!'. just as well we avoid one another, really, since i wouldn't enjoy a dynamic like that myself.
but there really is a difference between understanding your own achilles heels, and planning for them . . . and pre-emptively blaming others for a thing you just see in your private mind's eye. it still isn't my business to second-guess what you know you want in your life, but since you started this topic of 'why is it hard to find people', i figure i'll leave that thought here. it may be that your pool is extremely restricted right now, because you're still extra-protective of all the ground that you've gained.3 -
collectingblues wrote: »Wheelhouse15 wrote: »collectingblues wrote: »psychod787 wrote: »How about the 'try hard to eat healthy and exercise but unfortunately loves cookies' type? lol
I am ok with that. In fact, i will bake you some cookies. Lol I mean, I am not looking for miss universe. Looks take a back seat to personality and passion. I was once that guy who would try to ruin weight loss and being healthish. Lol maybe it's just pay back. I am just looking for a person who instead of going to dominos if we want pizza, we instead grab a lidus wrap, put on some fresh tomato sauce, some part skin mozzarella, some turkey pepperoni, and lots of fresh veggies and make our own pizza. Or instead of five guy, we make it from lean ground beef, a whole wheat bun, and some baked sweet potato fries. I can cook. Lol instead of just sitting in front of Netflix, we go out for a walk, I live in florida, so I can do that nearly year round, and then enjoy Netflix. Does not get mad at me for going to the gym 4 days a week. It that asking too much? Lol
That idea of "pizza" sounds miserable -- and this coming from the woman with a restrictive eating disorder.
And pretty much sums up why I actively avoid profiles who are all "I'm fit! I go to the gym!"
I like Netflix. I like real pizza. I periodically give into a Five Guys craving.
I also run half marathons, workout 6/7 days of the week, and have a mostly balanced life, where I typically stay under 1530 calories a day.
The two concepts are not mutually exclusive. But, you and many others who wrap themselves up in fitness seem to think that it's all or nothing.
Good luck finding your perfect woman.
You find a lot of people like that here?I run in the fitness crowd here and see far more restrictions coming from the diet only posters than the people I see in the fitness forums.
I eat pizza and McDonald's on a regular basis and I stay fit so I can enjoy those things.
I think you are making a lot of assumptions and might want to make friends with more fitness oriented people. You'll find a lot of very supportive and easy going people.
My experiences here and in real life have been that those people who go on and on about how they need someone to be as fit as they are, and to not sabotage them, and how they are so fit and work out, etc., tend to adopt black and white thinking like the OP has demonstrated and become fairly insufferable.
All fitness people? No. I didn't say all. I didn't even say "a lot". I said "many".
There are certainly those people in all walks of life and we tend to call them a word that begins with A -- no I mean the more clinical term.
I really don't deal with people that are that rigid in their thinking because unless you are making money on doing this is just a component of your life and life is much bigger than your BF%, bench press, or running time.3 -
canadianlbs wrote: »psychod787 wrote: »I will not apologize for looking for certain character qualities in a partner.
what i'm getting from this conversation is a slight sense of mismatch. would it be fair to say that you slightly fear people who seem less committed than you?
not going to argue with you if it is; it's your life and your call, and you know more than anyone else what your own vulnerabilities are and what it will take to keep yourself on the track that you want to stay on. just saying that the impression i do get is one of fear, and it seems to be fear you're projecting a bit.
in most ways it isn't my business if you see me scarfing pizza while writing this post and instantly think 'that woman is going to sabotage me!'. just as well we avoid one another, really, since i wouldn't enjoy a dynamic like that myself.
but there really is a difference between understanding your own achilles heels, and planning for them . . . and pre-emptively blaming others for a thing you just see in your private mind's eye. it still isn't my business to second-guess what you know you want in your life, but since you started this topic of 'why is it hard to find people', i figure i'll leave that thought here. it may be that your pool is extremely restricted right now, because you're still extra-protective of all the ground that you've gained.
Thanks for the response. You are right, I am scared. I also am looking at a small pool for now. I do not blame others for my mistakes. I try to be mindful. I am taking the advice of some of the people here and have joined meetup.com. thanks for all of the good ideas. I am considering this thread closed at this point.7 -
psychod787 wrote: »Lol... the paradox..how not to be the creepy guy at the gym!
My vote is for online dating. I met my wife through the dating site, it works. Put some time and effort into it, and see if it leads to anything. Or you can even look for like minded friends this way, good luck!1 -
psychod787 wrote: »Maybe I am odd, I actually am LOL, but I have had real trouble meeting women that share my passion of nutrition and weightlifting. I do live on a small town, so that might not help, but most of the women I meet just want to eat crap food and watch tv.
Do they bring you down and cause you to get off track? Are you turned off by that type? If not and you like the person then date them anyway is what I would say. Maybe you will rub off on them eventually. First thing for me when I meet someone is whether we mesh or not and then go from there. Keep doing what you do for yourself and your own body and love them for how they are.
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I was lucky & found my bf who was already passionate about the gym and lifting, he actually motivates me to get my own butt to the gym everyday and work hard. It doesn't help though that he is trying to gain muscle and weight and eats all kinds of crap like ice cream and pizza, while I'm sitting there eating brussel sprouts and chicken breast for the millionth time, trying to lose more weight. But oh well, it works for us 1
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collectingblues wrote: »Wheelhouse15 wrote: »collectingblues wrote: »psychod787 wrote: »How about the 'try hard to eat healthy and exercise but unfortunately loves cookies' type? lol
I am ok with that. In fact, i will bake you some cookies. Lol I mean, I am not looking for miss universe. Looks take a back seat to personality and passion. I was once that guy who would try to ruin weight loss and being healthish. Lol maybe it's just pay back. I am just looking for a person who instead of going to dominos if we want pizza, we instead grab a lidus wrap, put on some fresh tomato sauce, some part skin mozzarella, some turkey pepperoni, and lots of fresh veggies and make our own pizza. Or instead of five guy, we make it from lean ground beef, a whole wheat bun, and some baked sweet potato fries. I can cook. Lol instead of just sitting in front of Netflix, we go out for a walk, I live in florida, so I can do that nearly year round, and then enjoy Netflix. Does not get mad at me for going to the gym 4 days a week. It that asking too much? Lol
That idea of "pizza" sounds miserable -- and this coming from the woman with a restrictive eating disorder.
And pretty much sums up why I actively avoid profiles who are all "I'm fit! I go to the gym!"
I like Netflix. I like real pizza. I periodically give into a Five Guys craving.
I also run half marathons, workout 6/7 days of the week, and have a mostly balanced life, where I typically stay under 1530 calories a day.
The two concepts are not mutually exclusive. But, you and many others who wrap themselves up in fitness seem to think that it's all or nothing.
Good luck finding your perfect woman.
You find a lot of people like that here?I run in the fitness crowd here and see far more restrictions coming from the diet only posters than the people I see in the fitness forums.
I eat pizza and McDonald's on a regular basis and I stay fit so I can enjoy those things.
I think you are making a lot of assumptions and might want to make friends with more fitness oriented people. You'll find a lot of very supportive and easy going people.
My experiences here and in real life have been that those people who go on and on about how they need someone to be as fit as they are, and to not sabotage them, and how they are so fit and work out, etc., tend to adopt black and white thinking like the OP has demonstrated and become fairly insufferable.
All fitness people? No. I didn't say all. I didn't even say "a lot". I said "many".
I've met those types too! 'you are what you eat' and all that stuff... yeah. Honestly though most of them can't be 'sabotaged' because they are so dead set in their way and probably really find pizza and donuts disgusting.
Thankfully there are probably more people who are in the middle ground. Although it's probably actually easier to live with someone who loves making fresh veggies 10 different ways and avoid desserts and fried food if you're trying not to gain weight back (especially if they like cooking!).2 -
I think it's important to find someone who at least has a similar outlook on life as you do. If I'm spending 2 hours a day at the gym, and am not willing to eat out or grab fast food except on rare occasions, dating someone who is just the opposite isn't going to work very well.
I notice the same thing with the bikes in my life - it's such a HUGE part of my day to day, finances, and everything else, that unless someone else is really flexible in what they are willing to do/go and/or are okay with being just as busy as I am, it doesn't work out too often.
Being passionate about just about anything can drive a lot of people away. It's okay to want someone who shares your goals and passions and is willing to accept that it's a part of who you are.1 -
jaxsmama123 wrote: »I was lucky & found my bf who was already passionate about the gym and lifting, he actually motivates me to get my own butt to the gym everyday and work hard. It doesn't help though that he is trying to gain muscle and weight and eats all kinds of crap like ice cream and pizza, while I'm sitting there eating brussel sprouts and chicken breast for the millionth time, trying to lose more weight. But oh well, it works for us
DUUVAALL! Lol0 -
I like to eat junk now and then...plus I watch all the Netflix. On the other hand I also enjoy eating well and fitness. Sometimes its not all black and white. You will find the right person and you guys will grow together and find things that you guys can share and ways to have fitness be apart of your lives. Just keep doing what you are doing and try the whole dating site thing. They need to make one called GYM Junkies only lol.... for all you the fitness fanatics out there.3
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