Grumpy Hubby makes me want to eat....
MrsPike07
Posts: 160
I love my husband, don't get me wrong. I just dislike his mood swings and constant bad attitude. I have tried several times to try and get to the bottom of what is wrong but he puts a wall up. He is quite rude to me and down right mean at times which makes me want to sit down with a huge cake and eat the entire thing. I know this constant fighting is unhealthy for us and I may not be the easiest person to get along with because I too have mood swings. But, seriously? How can one person be so angry all the time?
He just told me at the dinner table that I am constantly f-ing him over. (I know he resent me staying home with our 15 month old because of money issues.) Other then that I have no idea what he is talking about....but I am having a hard time staying on track because of him. No excuses....seriously. I do just perfect when he is treating me well! Any suggestions?? I am at wits end here.
He just told me at the dinner table that I am constantly f-ing him over. (I know he resent me staying home with our 15 month old because of money issues.) Other then that I have no idea what he is talking about....but I am having a hard time staying on track because of him. No excuses....seriously. I do just perfect when he is treating me well! Any suggestions?? I am at wits end here.
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Is it possible you guys could do counseling, via church (if you are attenders or members) or through therapy?0
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I am sorry hun... That does not sound like the most positive environment.
Sit down and get to the bottom of whatever is bothering him. Is it related to your weight loss? Or is it something else all together?
You could stay home and raise your baby or you could get a job and pay someone big bucks to raise your baby? I think you are making the right choice staying home.
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Hmmmmm
I think that the support you get on here will be needed to get you through those yucky days when hubby is not in the best of moods
I too am a stay at home Mum, so I can understand the money issues, I hope it works out for you0 -
I'm kinda in the same boat at times. Doesn't really make anything better. Very sorry. But I can relate all too well. =/0
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girl i know exactly how you feel its not fair though .... some guys are selfish and do not care about how you feel and what were going through .... i to am also i stay at home mom and my hubby is always complaining and he never helps with the baby but
when he is in a good mood it is the best so just stick it out because no one is perfect lol0 -
I am sorry hun... That does not sound like the most positive environment.
Sit down and get to the bottom of whatever is bothering him. Is it related to your weight loss? Or is it something else all together?
You could stay home and raise your baby or you could get a job and pay someone big bucks to raise your baby? I think you are making the right choice staying home.
Exactly. The amount of money I'd be making right now would only pay for daycare. So no thanks.0 -
If he treated me that way, I'd be like... eff him! I don't and won't put up with a man treating me like *kitten* just because he's going through some issues. I've walked away from that before...
NO man needs to treat their wife that way.
If he's always been that way, I'd walk out...I highly recommend it if you have the means...but if it's something just recent, then there is underlying issues that he has that he's not talking to you about...If you're wanting to work it out, and he's willing, counseling would be the thing....0 -
I agree that perhaps bringing in a "qualified" third-party to help you two work through the root of your issues may be needed. In the meantime, you have to take care of you, and maybe go for a walk, or listen to music with headphones on. When I get stressed, or frustrated with my hub, or kids, or mom, etc.. I turn on meditation music to refocus me on something positive and spiritual.0
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Wow Thats a situation ! it sucks when our men are having a hard time nd rther then looking to their women they take it out on them !!! I hope you don't let this drag you down !!!!! although its hard look at it as another goal !! I hope for the best for you as well as your home situation but unfortunatly sometimes men will do that We just have to learn how to not let them !
All The Best !!!0 -
money tends to make men aggervated. most woman can kinda go without, keep the faith and keep it movin0
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I would suggest marriage counseling. If he doesnt want to go, you should go anyway. Seek professional help. Obviously he has his own problems he is dealing with. Dont let his bad moods defeat your personal goals for weight loss. You will be on your way to using food to deal with bad situations. I personally believe in the power of prayer, not only for myself but for my spouse. I pray for him to be a success and for strength on the job and away from the job. Take the Love Dare challenge and do something special for him everyday for 40 days. Maybe he is having problems at work that you dont know about and need your support.0
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I really think he just resents me not working. He is constantly throwing it in my face and it's getting old. I have applied at the local hospital for a per diem position as a CNA but the position I want hasn't opened up yet. I don't want to work full time because that means I have to put both my girls in daycare which would cost me around 200 a week! Thats absurd as far as I am concerned and I love being home with them! I cherish this time and am very thankful but he doesnt see it I guess. I am at the point where I just want to cry all the time or move to my parents. I am feeling defeated....but I want and need to lose this weight and it is going to happen no matter what!!!! I thank all of you for your support,, it means a great deal to me!
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When you begin to LOVE yourself; you will no longer tolerate it. It's that simple! And another thing your child, really doesn't need to hear these negative remarks coming from there father, because eventually they will pick it up and think it's OK to treat a woman this way.0
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I would suggest marriage counseling. If he doesnt want to go, you should go anyway. Seek professional help. Obviously he has his own problems he is dealing with. Dont let his bad moods defeat your personal goals for weight loss. You will be on your way to using food to deal with bad situations. I personally believe in the power of prayer, not only for myself but for my spouse. I pray for him to be a success and for strength on the job and away from the job. Take the Love Dare challenge and do something special for him everyday for 40 days. Maybe he is having problems at work that you dont know about and need your support.
Thats a fantastic idea, thank you! i will try that!0 -
Sorry for your situtation....I would first seek therapy for you and him, if he won't go then go for yourself. Your child doesn't deserve her mother being treated that way. His words are not only hurtful to you, but do you really want your child to pick up his language?? There has to be more to his problems than you staying home....BTW we have 3 kids 4 and under, if I had gone back to my job we'd be giving the daycare my ENTIRE paycheck for the MONTH PLUS another 300.00....yal, Ill stay home and raise our kids!!0
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When I was going through marriage issues (1st hubby) I would go to the gym when pissed off at him.... Exercise can really help eliminate the stress. I also ended up in the best shape of my life
Since then I put on weight do to some injuries that kept me out of the gym for 2.5 years. But now I am back....0 -
When you begin to LOVE yourself; you will no longer tolerate it. It's that simple! And another thing your child, really doesn't need to hear these negative remarks coming from there father, because eventually they will pick it up and think it's OK to treat a woman this way.
I couldnt agree more which is why part of me wants to get out now but I am trying as hard as I possibly can to stick it out and see if we can make it work.0 -
Could you stay home with your child and see if anyone in your neighborhood needs someone would pay you to watch there child that way you are staying home with your child but also helping with money.0
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my fiance can be the same way. he has days like that, then like last night he brought my home a red rose, for no reason. and i too just wanna eat like three pounds of chocolate. i usually just ignore him and when he stops talking ask him if he's done yet. and i won't talk to him until he tells me he's done. and it was really bad when i first quit my job but now he's seeing the brighter side of life. the only advise i can give you is to avoid situations that irritate him and when he is just in a mood give him some space.0
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Hi ,
I have the same problem. I have gotten better with handling it though. But it is hard. Some people are just very unhappy people. I think we are a mirror to their ugly spirit and that shows them who they are. But keep being sweet, and stay happy. Follow your food plan and try to get to where you are looking your best everyday. Do it for yourself.
When you feel like eating, pray about it to God. And hopefully, the desire for food will pass. You are just trying to comfort the pain. Let's keep in touch.0 -
I am sorry hun... That does not sound like the most positive environment.
Sit down and get to the bottom of whatever is bothering him. Is it related to your weight loss? Or is it something else all together?
You could stay home and raise your baby or you could get a job and pay someone big bucks to raise your baby? I think you are making the right choice staying home.
Exactly. The amount of money I'd be making right now would only pay for daycare. So no thanks.
Exactly!!!! It's not worth my kids sitting in front of the tv all day at the daycare providers....thanks but no thanks. I have seen many providers that have too many kids and cant handle it!0 -
You're hubby should seek some help cuz it sounds like he's suffering from depression. My man gets the same way. We argue a lot. 2 ppl living with depression in the same household means arguing. I don't let it get to me anymore. I've found out that anger really helps with working out. I've got all this adrenaline rushing through me and exercising is the best way to work it off. Also if you let him get to you then you're not gonna feel good about yourself. Did this start after you started wanting to feel better about yourself? If so then he's scared he'll lose you. Men are weird creatures. My advice is that if he continues you tell him to seek help. Feel free to add me if you need some motivation when you're feeling low.0
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You obviously like to work with people (CNA). Try looking into being an aide at a day care center. They usually offer lower if not free day care for the workers children. You get to be with your kids and work at the same time. I did it with my daughter until she got old enough for school then I went back to school myself. It is also possible he is resenting your new body. Maybe his anger is a defense mechanism for his jealousy and that you might find someone better than him.0
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Well I do understand...I've only been married 3 years so I may not have the best advice...but I agree that if you're in church discuss this with your pastor and let him/her help you guys through this rough patch. Talking to a professional I know can be helpful, in or out of the church.
I'm sure that anyone that has been or is married knows what it's like to hit a 'ROUGH PATCH" and sometimes those patches can last a long while.
I am thankful that my husband and I have a WONDERFUL PASTOR and 1st Lady that we both talk to during times of troubles...but we always take it to God and let him do the rest...
There have been times that we both wanted OUT...but God's word has helped us to "work it out"...
Hope this helps...
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My thoughts exactly! He has been worse in the last couple years. Our friends dont come over anymore because he is constantly degrading me in front of them. Its sickening.0
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You're hubby should seek some help cuz it sounds like he's suffering from depression. My man gets the same way. We argue a lot. 2 ppl living with depression in the same household means arguing. I don't let it get to me anymore. I've found out that anger really helps with working out. I've got all this adrenaline rushing through me and exercising is the best way to work it off. Also if you let him get to you then you're not gonna feel good about yourself. Did this start after you started wanting to feel better about yourself? If so then he's scared he'll lose you. Men are weird creatures. My advice is that if he continues you tell him to seek help. Feel free to add me if you need some motivation when you're feeling low.
That is very true. He could very well be depressed....just wondering if he would ever want to get help. Maybe if he sees what it is doing to me he will!0 -
Could you stay home with your child and see if anyone in your neighborhood needs someone would pay you to watch there child that way you are staying home with your child but also helping with money.
I have a friend that is having a baby in March but thats a pretty long time from now....he wants me to get a job NOW. Even if it means I work nights and never see him. Kinda stings ya know? 0 -
Seek counseling soon! If he refuses to do couples the go for yourself. You do not deserve to be treated that way by anyone. Don't be accepting of his behavior, don't give him permission to talk to you like that, it just isn't nice. Let him know he doesn't have your permission to treat you like that. I have found that we are treated exactly how we "allow" others to treat us! You are so deserving & worthy of being treated kindly!! I've been there. Won't go there again. Good luck with this. We are here if you need us! Hugs0
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If he treated me that way, I'd be like... eff him! I don't and won't put up with a man treating me like *kitten* just because he's going through some issues. I've walked away from that before...
NO man needs to treat their wife that way.
If he's always been that way, I'd walk out...I highly recommend it if you have the means...but if it's something just recent, then there is underlying issues that he has that he's not talking to you about...If you're wanting to work it out, and he's willing, counseling would be the thing....
I have put up with so much already and I feel like I am a failure if I give up now. I mean we have a beautiful baby girl together that adores he Daddy. How do I take her away from this house? He will fight tooth and nail for her but I would never go without my babies! 0 -
My thoughts exactly! He has been worse in the last couple years. Our friends dont come over anymore because he is constantly degrading me in front of them. Its sickening.
I just have to put this out there....I was with/married to an emotionally abusive, functional alcoholic for 13 years. I stayed in hopes of it getting better, of him changing, maybe a little "for the kids" (not a good idea); nothing changed for years. I went through counseling (he wouldn't). Things have changed. I have changed, I have forgiven him & myself. I am no longer a bitter person. I have no regrets.
I pray that things work out favorably and you two can work through this trying time in your marriage. I still believe in the union of marriage and til death do you part (my parents & many others did it), you just BOTH have to work on it constantly! God Bless0
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