Grumpy Hubby makes me want to eat....

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MrsPike07
MrsPike07 Posts: 160
in Motivation and Support
I love my husband, don't get me wrong. I just dislike his mood swings and constant bad attitude. I have tried several times to try and get to the bottom of what is wrong but he puts a wall up. He is quite rude to me and down right mean at times which makes me want to sit down with a huge cake and eat the entire thing. I know this constant fighting is unhealthy for us and I may not be the easiest person to get along with because I too have mood swings. But, seriously? How can one person be so angry all the time?
He just told me at the dinner table that I am constantly f-ing him over. (I know he resent me staying home with our 15 month old because of money issues.) Other then that I have no idea what he is talking about....but I am having a hard time staying on track because of him. No excuses....seriously. I do just perfect when he is treating me well! Any suggestions?? I am at wits end here. :(
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Replies

  • asilmegan34
    asilmegan34 Posts: 256 Member
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    Is it possible you guys could do counseling, via church (if you are attenders or members) or through therapy?
  • k8edge
    k8edge Posts: 380
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    I am sorry hun... That does not sound like the most positive environment.

    Sit down and get to the bottom of whatever is bothering him. Is it related to your weight loss? Or is it something else all together?

    You could stay home and raise your baby or you could get a job and pay someone big bucks to raise your baby? I think you are making the right choice staying home. :)
  • pmmarshall
    pmmarshall Posts: 9
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    Hmmmmm
    I think that the support you get on here will be needed to get you through those yucky days when hubby is not in the best of moods :)

    I too am a stay at home Mum, so I can understand the money issues, I hope it works out for you
  • ohwhataday
    ohwhataday Posts: 1,398 Member
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    I'm kinda in the same boat at times. Doesn't really make anything better. Very sorry. But I can relate all too well. =/
  • big_beautiful
    big_beautiful Posts: 158
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    girl i know exactly how you feel its not fair though .... some guys are selfish and do not care about how you feel and what were going through .... i to am also i stay at home mom and my hubby is always complaining and he never helps with the baby but
    when he is in a good mood it is the best so just stick it out because no one is perfect lol
  • ohwhataday
    ohwhataday Posts: 1,398 Member
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    I am sorry hun... That does not sound like the most positive environment.

    Sit down and get to the bottom of whatever is bothering him. Is it related to your weight loss? Or is it something else all together?

    You could stay home and raise your baby or you could get a job and pay someone big bucks to raise your baby? I think you are making the right choice staying home. :)

    Exactly. The amount of money I'd be making right now would only pay for daycare. So no thanks.
  • muitobem
    muitobem Posts: 436 Member
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    If he treated me that way, I'd be like... eff him! I don't and won't put up with a man treating me like *kitten* just because he's going through some issues. I've walked away from that before...
    NO man needs to treat their wife that way.

    If he's always been that way, I'd walk out...I highly recommend it if you have the means...but if it's something just recent, then there is underlying issues that he has that he's not talking to you about...If you're wanting to work it out, and he's willing, counseling would be the thing....
  • CoCoMa
    CoCoMa Posts: 906 Member
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    I agree that perhaps bringing in a "qualified" third-party to help you two work through the root of your issues may be needed. In the meantime, you have to take care of you, and maybe go for a walk, or listen to music with headphones on. When I get stressed, or frustrated with my hub, or kids, or mom, etc.. I turn on meditation music to refocus me on something positive and spiritual.
  • MisszObrien
    MisszObrien Posts: 31
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    Wow Thats a situation ! it sucks when our men are having a hard time nd rther then looking to their women they take it out on them !!! I hope you don't let this drag you down !!!!! although its hard look at it as another goal !! I hope for the best for you as well as your home situation but unfortunatly sometimes men will do that We just have to learn how to not let them ! ;)

    All The Best !!!
  • jsoaper01
    jsoaper01 Posts: 99 Member
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    money tends to make men aggervated. most woman can kinda go without, keep the faith and keep it movin
  • foresteratlarge
    foresteratlarge Posts: 3 Member
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    I would suggest marriage counseling. If he doesnt want to go, you should go anyway. Seek professional help. Obviously he has his own problems he is dealing with. Dont let his bad moods defeat your personal goals for weight loss. You will be on your way to using food to deal with bad situations. I personally believe in the power of prayer, not only for myself but for my spouse. I pray for him to be a success and for strength on the job and away from the job. Take the Love Dare challenge and do something special for him everyday for 40 days. Maybe he is having problems at work that you dont know about and need your support.
  • MrsPike07
    MrsPike07 Posts: 160
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    I really think he just resents me not working. He is constantly throwing it in my face and it's getting old. I have applied at the local hospital for a per diem position as a CNA but the position I want hasn't opened up yet. I don't want to work full time because that means I have to put both my girls in daycare which would cost me around 200 a week! Thats absurd as far as I am concerned and I love being home with them! I cherish this time and am very thankful but he doesnt see it I guess. I am at the point where I just want to cry all the time or move to my parents. I am feeling defeated....but I want and need to lose this weight and it is going to happen no matter what!!!! I thank all of you for your support,, it means a great deal to me! :heart:
  • mzjandiace
    mzjandiace Posts: 162
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    When you begin to LOVE yourself; you will no longer tolerate it. It's that simple! And another thing your child, really doesn't need to hear these negative remarks coming from there father, because eventually they will pick it up and think it's OK to treat a woman this way.
  • MrsPike07
    MrsPike07 Posts: 160
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    I would suggest marriage counseling. If he doesnt want to go, you should go anyway. Seek professional help. Obviously he has his own problems he is dealing with. Dont let his bad moods defeat your personal goals for weight loss. You will be on your way to using food to deal with bad situations. I personally believe in the power of prayer, not only for myself but for my spouse. I pray for him to be a success and for strength on the job and away from the job. Take the Love Dare challenge and do something special for him everyday for 40 days. Maybe he is having problems at work that you dont know about and need your support.

    Thats a fantastic idea, thank you! i will try that!
  • bethdris
    bethdris Posts: 1,090 Member
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    Sorry for your situtation....I would first seek therapy for you and him, if he won't go then go for yourself. Your child doesn't deserve her mother being treated that way. His words are not only hurtful to you, but do you really want your child to pick up his language?? There has to be more to his problems than you staying home....BTW we have 3 kids 4 and under, if I had gone back to my job we'd be giving the daycare my ENTIRE paycheck for the MONTH PLUS another 300.00....yal, Ill stay home and raise our kids!!
  • powerthree
    powerthree Posts: 28
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    When I was going through marriage issues (1st hubby) I would go to the gym when pissed off at him.... Exercise can really help eliminate the stress. I also ended up in the best shape of my life

    Since then I put on weight do to some injuries that kept me out of the gym for 2.5 years. But now I am back....
  • MrsPike07
    MrsPike07 Posts: 160
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    When you begin to LOVE yourself; you will no longer tolerate it. It's that simple! And another thing your child, really doesn't need to hear these negative remarks coming from there father, because eventually they will pick it up and think it's OK to treat a woman this way.

    I couldnt agree more which is why part of me wants to get out now but I am trying as hard as I possibly can to stick it out and see if we can make it work.
  • tritta01
    tritta01 Posts: 311
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    Could you stay home with your child and see if anyone in your neighborhood needs someone would pay you to watch there child that way you are staying home with your child but also helping with money.
  • jujubean1992
    jujubean1992 Posts: 462 Member
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    my fiance can be the same way. he has days like that, then like last night he brought my home a red rose, for no reason. and i too just wanna eat like three pounds of chocolate. i usually just ignore him and when he stops talking ask him if he's done yet. and i won't talk to him until he tells me he's done. and it was really bad when i first quit my job but now he's seeing the brighter side of life. the only advise i can give you is to avoid situations that irritate him and when he is just in a mood give him some space.
  • Lainey622
    Lainey622 Posts: 8 Member
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    Hi ,
    I have the same problem. I have gotten better with handling it though. But it is hard. Some people are just very unhappy people. I think we are a mirror to their ugly spirit and that shows them who they are. But keep being sweet, and stay happy. Follow your food plan and try to get to where you are looking your best everyday. Do it for yourself.
    When you feel like eating, pray about it to God. And hopefully, the desire for food will pass. You are just trying to comfort the pain. Let's keep in touch.

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