Need a new way of looking at this.
CourtneyUT
Posts: 48 Member
I started my journey in Oct 2017 with 50 lbs to lose. I have lost 11 but have been completely derailed since Christmas. My problem is that I'm telling myself that counting calories is no way to live and that it's not normal or mentally healthy to be that obsessed with food. So I try to just eat well and eat intuitively but I don't succeed there either because I feel like I need some concrete evidence that I am getting healthier. I will be 40 this year and type 2 diabetes runs in my family and I am scared to death of it. Logically I know that I just need to count calories and stop over thinking things. Obviously, if I could just "eat well and eat intuitively" then I wouldn't have a weight problem. How do I convince myself that intuitive eating doesn't work for me and I need to count calories even though it makes me obsess over food? I get going counting calories and then those thoughts creep back in. Has anyone dealt with this? Anyone have advice?
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Replies
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This is why I don't have a food scale, it can get obsessive. I look at it like a game, weigh twice a week and take measurements. You don't have to do this for the rest of your life.6
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Do your balance your finances to make sure you pay your bills and stay within your budget, rather than spend intuitively? It's just good sense to use the available tools to stay on track rather than to flounder for no good reason.
Calorie counting is just body care like brushing my teeth or washing my hair. If I have to be obsessive to stay in the normal BMI range, then that's a positive, useful obsession.10 -
If intuitive eating worked for you, you wouldn't need to lose 39 lbs. That's the bottom line. You can "guess" at how much you need to eat or you can track and have a more accurate idea.4
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Has what you have been doing working? No. I think it's Dr Phil who always says "How is that working for you?"
"If it doesn't challenge you it won't change you." - Fred Devito
Perhaps read some of the success stories and see why counting calories works.
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I totally understand where you are coming from - I have recovered from bulimia and am still VERY VERY tentative about counting calories. People here can be a bit militant about weighing every last gram, and while that method will probably lend the most success, you have to be gentle with yourself and consider your mental health, too. The best diet is one you can stick to.
I wonder if it would help you to set some additional dietary and exercise goals, which would harmonise with calorie counting? Build the habit of eating lots of vegetables/fibre, eating a diet rich in whatever macro makes you feel the most full (for me, it's protein), and exercising frequently or simply being more active. Those things will help you to stay within your goals and some may even help health-wise (e.g. exercise, and fibre is sometimes recommended to help manage diabetes).
If you 'fall off the rails' again with calorie counting, at least those positive habits will be there to cushion your fall, will do some damage control vs. eating lots of high-calorie foods. Hopefully, they will help you move towards more sustainable change. If you're already doing those things, feel free to ignore me. I just personally found the idea of 'positive habits' easier to swallow (pardon the pun) than calorie counting back when I was still not far enough along in recovery to risk counting.7 -
Try eating intuitively AND logging all of that food for a week. That will show you where your calories are coming from and perhaps give you some idea on where your intuitive eating is falling down. Then you can adjust things to fit your calorie goal. This might make you more mindful when you are eating intuitively. Or it might make you decide that you actually need to count calories.
Either way I hope you can find a way that works for you.
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I haven't had exactly those thoughts - I actually enjoyed logging my food - but I do recognize the mindset of self-sabotage. Do you think that your longing to "eat intuitively" is in fact just an excuse to eat mindlessly, and that you're justifying it by telling yourself that calorie counting is "obsessive"? Permanent weight management can only happen if you are fed up with overeating - being overweight, and even the threat of disease, isn't enough to permanently change daily behaviors that you find pleasant and easy and comforting - you need an alternative set of behaviors that also are pleasant and easy and comforting, but not making you gain weight.
The words you use, are also important, in my opinion. "Obsessed" is a negative word. Can you replace it with "awareness" and "passion"? Food is good, you can and should enjoy it, but responsibly. You can't do that while being afraid - just to try to bring this essay together.4 -
Well done for your weight loss this far. Are you possibly trying to jump to "maintenance" before you've got to where you want to be? Christmas and other celebrations can be derailing for as long as you let them.
Calorie counting is a good way to discover your portion control/size. You would like to loose another 30 odd lb, ish? You lost approximately 11lb in as many weeks so by this October by calorie counting doing much the same as you did, all being well finding your self discipline, you will be where you want to be. (Taking and keeping track of your measurements should get you past any weeks without any recognisable losses, they happen.)
From achieving your goal it becomes much more interesting, discovering how much food you can add in on a regular basis while still keeping within 7 or as many lbs as you choose of where you want to be without regularly going overboard again. Some add in so many calories a day, or a week others find their own way, the choice is yours.
No one wants to keep yo-yo dieting. The best way to avoid this is to discover what is right for you this time and enjoy the meals you have without letting them enjoy you, eating for the sake of it. Things may change with time 10/15 years or so, with will and an understanding of yourself you can do it for your life time. All the very best for your future, may it be the one you want.4 -
Do your balance your finances to make sure you pay your bills and stay within your budget, rather than spend intuitively? It's just good sense to use the available tools to stay on track rather than to flounder for no good reason.
Calorie counting is just body care like brushing my teeth or washing my hair. If I have to be obsessive to stay in the normal BMI range, then that's a positive, useful obsession.
Thank you for this. That's a perfect example.0 -
kommodevaran wrote: »I haven't had exactly those thoughts - I actually enjoyed logging my food - but I do recognize the mindset of self-sabotage. Do you think that your longing to "eat intuitively" is in fact just an excuse to eat mindlessly, and that you're justifying it by telling yourself that calorie counting is "obsessive"? Permanent weight management can only happen if you are fed up with overeating - being overweight, and even the threat of disease, isn't enough to permanently change daily behaviors that you find pleasant and easy and comforting - you need an alternative set of behaviors that also are pleasant and easy and comforting, but not making you gain weight.
The words you use, are also important, in my opinion. "Obsessed" is a negative word. Can you replace it with "awareness" and "passion"? Food is good, you can and should enjoy it, but responsibly. You can't do that while being afraid - just to try to bring this essay together.
I think you hit the nail on the head. My longing to just eat intuitively very well may be an excuse to eat mindlessly. In fact I just told my husband last night how nice it is to just go to a restaurant, and order and eat what sounds good without having to think about it. I need to tell myself that's always an option, but obesity and diabetes will be the consequence.
I appreciate you pointing out my negative word "obsessed" and suggesting positive replacements. Thank you so much - your comment was very helpful!5 -
You can make intuitive eating a goal, but use calorie counting a tool to get there, use the data you gain to learn what you can eat and what a portion size is etc. Just remember it can take time and a few months isn't long enough. The other thing is if you get diabetes, in order to.keep your blood sugar under control you will need to track carbohydrates anyway4
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It's possible for some people to lose weight without counting calories. One example - the No "S" Diet. What that is - no sweets, no snacks, no seconds, except sometimes on days that begin with "S" - Saturdays, Sundays, Special days. Some people can make this work.
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I’ve got to admit that calorie counting is the best and easiest way for me. It’s made me realise, especially with weighing everything, how much I was overeating!! Guessing for me didn’t work, I was having literally double and triple the amount what I should have all because I guessed everything.
I know how thing can easily become obsessive though. My obsession in the past was always the scales, getting weighed 20 times a day, getting upset because I’d put .2 pound on then I’d eat and drink less and less. A Very unhealthy mentality. so this time I’ve sworn to weigh once a week and it’s very tempting but I’m doing it the right way this time without stressing myself out.
Just be healthy with it. Log all you food you want through the day in the morning then forget about it until tomorrow. That way your only thinking about it once a day. Hope this helps3 -
You can make intuitive eating a goal, but use calorie counting a tool to get there, use the data you gain to learn what you can eat and what a portion size is etc. Just remember it can take time and a few months isn't long enough. The other thing is if you get diabetes, in order to.keep your blood sugar under control you will need to track carbohydrates anyway
You're right - so really, it's track now or be lazy now and get diabetes and have to track anyway. Thank you for your perspective.0 -
I’ve got to admit that calorie counting is the best and easiest way for me. It’s made me realise, especially with weighing everything, how much I was overeating!! Guessing for me didn’t work, I was having literally double and triple the amount what I should have all because I guessed everything.
I know how thing can easily become obsessive though. My obsession in the past was always the scales, getting weighed 20 times a day, getting upset because I’d put .2 pound on then I’d eat and drink less and less. A Very unhealthy mentality. so this time I’ve sworn to weigh once a week and it’s very tempting but I’m doing it the right way this time without stressing myself out.
Just be healthy with it. Log all you food you want through the day in the morning then forget about it until tomorrow. That way your only thinking about it once a day. Hope this helps
That is good advice. Thank you!0 -
To avoid the tediousness of counting every calorie everyday, I decided to pre-count some set breakfasts and lunches and save those in MFP as meals. Now I only need to count my dinner everyday, but only having to do it once a day has made my life easier.4
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Would you rather test your blood several times a day and take pills or insulin shots to manage potential diabetes for the rest of your life or would you rather count calories for awhile? You might not need to count forever, perhaps you can use it as a tool to create new habits and new judgments. Even if you have to count calories forever, you might decide its better than counting glucose , Insulin, sodium, pills, or whatever else you might need to do to manage a disease.
I don't mean this in a judgemental way, just a reality check that many of us have had to face.4 -
What has really started to work for me after years of going up and down, is making me and my happiness a priority. You need to start working at your happiness for life, you know you wouldn't be happy with diabetes so count those calories because in the big picture that's what is going to make you happy your health. I just really dug deep and realized without our health we can't be truly happy. I count my calories feeling good that I am important and my happiness is important and I'm not going to dread doing things that will heal my body and making me happy. Stay with it you can do it !!!!!!7
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I found that finding the right foods to eat can help, and I’d say that snacking on those foods and drinking a glass of water without sitting down to a meal is a good habit.
Think frozen, microwaveable meats, and fruits and vegetables. Make quick, pack quick, and eat quick. Don’t forget water helps with food digestion, so drink plenty of it0 -
So I think it was Eric Helms that changed this thought process for me. Instead of eating "intuitively" how about "eating habitually". My intuition is to eat more than I need to maintain or lose. Period.
BUT I am good at building habits. And calorie counting helps create those habits.
I'd say count calories, get the job done. You obviously understand this is important for your health. Learn the habits of maintaining a healthy weight. It doesn't mean you can't stop counting one day.6 -
Hm, this is the exact opposite of what is usually considered healthy habits and mindset - make food a priority, work up an appetite, cook at home, eat regular meals, sit down to eat, enjoy your food, no foods are in themselves "right" or "wrong" (just dosage and frequency).pedrozamatt wrote: »I found that finding the right foods to eat can help, and I’d say that snacking on those foods and drinking a glass of water without sitting down to a meal is a good habit.
Think frozen, microwaveable meats, and fruits and vegetables. Make quick, pack quick, and eat quick. Don’t forget water helps with food digestion, so drink plenty of it1 -
Iwantahealthierme30 wrote: »This is why I don't have a food scale, it can get obsessive. I look at it like a game, weigh twice a week and take measurements. You don't have to do this for the rest of your life.
My advice would be the exact opposite of this.
1) get and use a food scale
2) weigh daily
3) you DO have to do this the rest of your life
I’ve lost 85# and kept it off for over a year by following the above.5 -
Iwantahealthierme30 wrote: »This is why I don't have a food scale, it can get obsessive. I look at it like a game, weigh twice a week and take measurements. You don't have to do this for the rest of your life.
My advice would be the exact opposite of this.
1) get and use a food scale
2) weigh daily
3) you DO have to do this the rest of your life
I’ve lost 85# and kept it off for over a year by following the above.
So many people think they just have to count calories till they reach goal - no wonder so many people regain. That's part of why I'm waffling - I know I need to do this for the rest of my life and it feels like a big pill to swallow. But looking at it day by day makes it easier.
Thanks for your advice and congrats on the weight loss and especially the maintaining!1 -
I’ve lost 100+lbs and have been at goal over 11 years. I lost the last 40lbs by joining Weight Watchers. That’s where I learned to track. I made goal and kept tracking for 5 more years. It took 3 try’s before I could maintain without tracking.
I didn’t mind tracking. I looked at it as a hobby. I used pen and paper. There weren’t so many gadgets when I was doing it. I found tracking on the computer a needless complication. I never gave a thought to whether it was normal. I was thrilled that it worked. I worked to hit my number. If I ate too much, I tacked it. If I forgot to track, I went back and did my best to fill it in. I don’t think I missed a day except for vacations. I don’t look on what I did regarding tracking as obsessive. I was 100 lbs overweight. That was a real problem.
At one point I just assumed that I would track for the rest of my life. Then I started experimenting with not doing it. I think my current success at no tracking maintenance has nothing to do with intuition, it has everything to do with good habits. It took about 5 years for the habits to set.6 -
CourtneyUT wrote: »Iwantahealthierme30 wrote: »This is why I don't have a food scale, it can get obsessive. I look at it like a game, weigh twice a week and take measurements. You don't have to do this for the rest of your life.
My advice would be the exact opposite of this.
1) get and use a food scale
2) weigh daily
3) you DO have to do this the rest of your life
I’ve lost 85# and kept it off for over a year by following the above.
So many people think they just have to count calories till they reach goal - no wonder so many people regain. That's part of why I'm waffling - I know I need to do this for the rest of my life and it feels like a big pill to swallow. But looking at it day by day makes it easier.
Thanks for your advice and congrats on the weight loss and especially the maintaining!
1. I had a plateau for a bit but I am now losing weight again without a food scale so I don't have one.
2. Weighing daily could make you crazy with all the fluctuations
3. So you will die if this site ceases to exist?!? Come on now, no one said I will stop right when I get to goal but I know how many calories I'm supposed to eat and I've been doing this for 63 days, I figure once I'm doing it for a year or more, I will learn how much I need to eat to go forward. I am only cooking for myself. Yes, there's a challenge when you cook for other people and maybe the OP has that challenge as well but I won't.0 -
I don't know why weighing and measuring your food would be considered obsessive.
I mean, when you make a recipe, that's what you do right?
You measure quantities, and try to do so accurately, so that your food tastes how you want it to taste.
This is just measuring quantities, so that your body looks and feels how you want it to look and feel.
I mean, you track your spending right? Maybe not every penny, but you keep a general awareness of your spending habits, and change them when necessary, and measure the impact of them right? You spend less when you realize you are spending too much. You check your bank account to make sure there is enough in there. No one thinks that's obsessive, I don't know why people think this would be obsessive.
You're right, alot of people don't track their calories. Alot of people are also miserable and struggle to lose weight.
Track what you are comfortable tracking. Watch the results. Did you lose what you thought you would? Good! You have some "intuitive eating" in you! Did you not? Then tighten up the tracking.
Tracking my calories takes about 10 minutes of my day. I spend about as much time brushing and flossing my teeth a day. If that's worth 10 minutes a day, isn't my whole body?
Good luck and I hope you find a solution that works for you!
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Do your balance your finances to make sure you pay your bills and stay within your budget, rather than spend intuitively? It's just good sense to use the available tools to stay on track rather than to flounder for no good reason.
Calorie counting is just body care like brushing my teeth or washing my hair. If I have to be obsessive to stay in the normal BMI range, then that's a positive, useful obsession.
okay, weird, I just said all the same stuff, but in a very long winded way. I should have read your post first!1
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