Please help. I am getting obsessed and depressed.

First, sending you hugs.

Second, it sounds like you should talk to someone, perhaps a counselor at school if that's available. You seem to know this isn't good for you, but sometimes it's hard to get past that and keep yourself healthy on your own. Depression is serious, and talking it out with someone trained/licensed can be so incredibly helpful.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, and I hope you're able to take care of yourself and get yourself on track to a healthy life. You are worth it!

Body dysmorphia is a real thing. A lot of people who lose a lot of weight (including myself) experience it. I lost, from the very beginning to now, 125 lbs. And do you know what, at times I still think I am fat. I still look down at my body and see a girl pushing 300. I still walk into plus size clothing stores because that is what I see, but it is getting better for me. But the first thing you need to do is take a time out. When I get like this, I pull up an old picture of myself and set it next to a current picture. That usually puts it back into perspective for me. When I can visually see the difference. Then you need to congratulate yourself on your successes. Now I know that you had a period of time that you re-gained. That is just part of life. I know because I’m on journey #3. So you forget yesterday because that doesn’t matter and you can’t change what has already taken place. You can only focus on today. THE HEALTHY way. You did not gain weight overnight and you cannot lose it overnight. I have been in your exact shoes. I was depressed, I tried every fad diet to lose weight as fast as possible. (One that only allowed me to eat every 3 days and that was only watermelon). DON’T DO THAT! I lost weight quickly and then I gained it back twice as fast and then the depression began again which was a vicious cycle because my depression leads to binge eating which farther lead to depression and so on. So what you need to do is decide that you’re in it for the long haul. Do a healthy lifestyle, do a healthy lifestyle that works for you, and get your body moving. Weigh in one a week max. Make mini goals and celebrate them (with no food related rewards). Like I am I huge book person and I would buy a new book at each 10 pound drop. Take a photo every month and build a collage of success! You may not see it day to day, but over a month period, you will see that difference and its crazy seeing day 1 and month 6. And then agree that this is a lifestyle change not a diet and it will need to be something you can live with for the long haul. Don’t compare yourself to supermodels, dang they don’t even look like that in real life. We’d all look 100 times better if we had stylist and tanners, and Photoshop and hairstylists, but especially photoshop. Make your goals about your health and your happiness. Allow yourself to know you are beautiful. One additional thing, and I know it’s corny, but I swear it actually works. On this journey, stand in front of your mirror and tell yourself these things every morning (and say it like you mean it – even if you have to fake it til you make it). #1. I am beautiful. #2. I am worth it. #3. I can do this. #4.I love you. At first, it will be weird, but over time if you tell yourself enough, you start to believe it and get to a better mental place. It also wouldn’t hurt to seek out a body dysmorphia support group. It helps to know that this is very common thing that happens and it is only your own perception, not how everyone else sees you. You can do this!