What is my responsibility?
duskyjewel
Posts: 286 Member
I have this coworker who lost a lot of weight on Weight Watchers in the last year. We've all congratulated her because the change is dramatic. However, now she started talking about fasting to get herself into ketosis so she can start eating keto. At first she said she was going to fast for a day, and then she felt like she did so well with it she extended the fast into a second day. That was last Friday and she apparently started eating keto over last weekend. During this week I saw her in the lunchroom a couple times and didn't think anything of it. Then today while I was talking about how myself and a couple other coworkers had made a Friday run to The Habit (amazing burger joint), she joked about getting a quadruple cheeseburger and eating it without the bun. And I was like, jeez a quadruple? And then she tells me she hasn't eaten anything since Wednesday. Later I saw her with a Wendy's bag so I guess she did go get her burger. It's the next part of the conversation the has me questioning what my obligations are to this woman and her health, because she stated that she wants to try for a longer fast, and that this month she's going to attempt an entire week. I asked, "Why would you want to do that?!" And she replied, "Because it's healthy!" I responded, "You're never going to convince me that not eating for an entire week is healthy." She walked away at that point. Now I know intermittent fasting is a thing, but isn't it usually like one day once or twice a week? This woman is not doing IF, she's descending into seriously eating-disordered behavior. I don't know her personally at all. But I feel like someone should be alerted to the fact that she's planning to try an entire week of fasting and spoke admiringly of people who achieved three week fasts! I thought of speaking to our mutual boss but I'm not sure......
What would you do?
What would you do?
17
Replies
-
She is not a child. She is an adult and so are you. Do not go speak to your boss, it won't go anywhere good.
Let her do what she wants, if she is breaking her fasts with quadruple cheeseburgers I can bet she won't make it to a week. You have no responsibility to this woman.44 -
Maybe ask if she has ever heard of the My Fitness Pal app/website and point her in this direction. Perhaps after she educates herself on the forums, she'll reconsider the health effects of what she is doing.
I agree about not going to the boss.5 -
Yeah, she's an adult and it's none of your business or her bosses. I totally understand how you feel, and if you think you can be diplomatic, maybe you could bring it up again and say it's because you're worried about her. Understand though you might just piss her off and make working with her awkward.
Hopefully she has other people in her life who are also expressing their concerns and eventually she'll take it to heart. But some people have to learn the hard way and just won't listen. It sucks
13 -
Hopefully your honest reaction will stick with her, and maybe it will nudge her away from her current course. Other than that...yeah, she’s an adult. You can’t tell her how to eat. I know it’s hard to watch people making bad choices, but if they don’t ask for help or advice they wouldn’t take it anyway.8
-
Yeah, she's an adult and it's none of your business
Except she made it my business by telling me.
I didn't ask, she volunteered it.Understand though you might just piss her off and make working with her awkward.
Which is why I hesitated about the boss. We just don't have anyone else in common.Hopefully she has other people in her life who are also expressing their concerns and eventually she'll take it to heart. But some people have to learn the hard way and just won't listen. It sucks
Yeah, hopefully someone who cares about her will speak up. If she brings it up again in front of me, I'll express concern again. I guess if she collapses at work I'll have relevant information for the paramedics.
13 -
As an adult the best thing you can do is tell her that you are concerned about her health (which you already did), and leave it at that. Telling your boss about this would be a childish move, it's not their problem and a workplace can't enforce eating habits.
I would just ignore it, she's not your friend or your concern. Trying to tell a work partner or stranger that they are wrong is just going to cause drama, especially when she already made it clear she won't listen to you. If she keeps down the path, she'll likely end up in a hospital and she'll only have herself to blame. She's an adult and her choices are hers to make.7 -
Chances are it won't take her very long to figure out how unpleasant fasting can be, especially if she tries to do it for a week. A lot of people start a plan, see results, go overboard, then bounce back, sometimes all the way back to where they started. That's most likely how it will go for your coworker. A week fast won't kill her, but if she does it a lot over a long period of time, she'll start seeing consequences she won't like. Chances are, though, she won't make it that far.7
-
I would say that given you aren't say, her therapist, a family member, or her medical doctor, you have no responsibilities. Additionally it doesn't seem like it would be appropriate to continue this discussion with her in a work situation. Yes she made it your business, but that doesn't mean that you have to or should engage.11
-
Personally, I eat low carb, not keto and fast for 4 days at a time on occasion. If someone questioned me or spoke to my boss about it, I'd report them to HR. It's a personal thing.22
-
I wouldn't do anything. None of my business. If I'm asked what I think about it I would express my opinion, my responsibility doesn't go beyond that. Simply telling you about something doesn't make it your business. If she isn't well-informed about the process, she will find out the hard way. I wouldn't press the matter in conversation either, unless she brings it up again or she is a close friend. As for telling the boss, I'm completely against that, what people eat or don't eat is personal.4
-
You already told her you thought it was a bad idea. The end. Your not her mom or her best friend and if I were your boss and you came to me saying you thought a coworker was making unhealthy eating choices, I'd think you were a maniac.
I get wanting to help someone when you feel they're doing the wrong thing but I think you have to back away from this situation5 -
Absolutely nothing. The great thing about free will is getting to choose what you do with your own life. the problem with it is you cant stop stupid people from being stupid.
Its sad but you have to let her make her own mistakes.3 -
It's really not your business, even if she's chatty.
If she chatted about intentions to commit a crime, your business is to inform law enforcement authorities.
Since fasting and ignorance are not crimes, you have no responsibility to inform or correct her.7 -
Maybe she needs to educate herself more about intermittent fasting. That's not the way it works (not eating). You can eat, just certain foods between certain times. I also agree with everyone else no need to go to the boss. Her body and her life. It is nice that your concern. GL0
-
I know it’s sometimes hard to accept this concept, but we are not obligated, nor is it appropriate to interfere in every aspect of another person’s life that we don’t agree with. People are allowed to be dumbasses.
Now if she starts cutting nasty keto farts in the break room, you might have a case for intervention. But other than that, this is a classic MYOB situation. These goofy eating behaviors are unsustainable, so it’s not like this is going to be a permanent thing.5 -
This made me smile because I agree with @Whitezombiegirl its a personal thing. OP: What could the mutual boss do anyway? This is a crazy idea, leave well alone.Whitezombiegirl wrote: »Personally, I eat low carb, not keto and fast for 4 days at a time on occasion. If someone questioned me or spoke to my boss about it, I'd report them to HR. It's a personal thing.duskyjewel wrote: »Yeah, she's an adult and it's none of your business
OP: Its defo not your business just because someone tells you something, its a called a conversation. Just like this is, right here, right now.duskyjewel wrote: »I Except she made it my business by telling me.
I didn't ask, she volunteered it.
Granted you have an opinion but that's all it is, your opinion. Just like I'm expressing mine now based on your post. Your not her mother and even if you were, I'd still argue the toss, its none of your beeswax.
I'm sure your intentions are good, but its her body, her life, her methods. I know people who fast for far longer than that and feel great for it. I also know people who wouldn't dream of entertaining it in the first place. Your responsibility is to yourself and that's it. Whatever you decide, good luck.
1 -
duskyjewel wrote: »I have this coworker who lost a lot of weight on Weight Watchers in the last year. We've all congratulated her because the change is dramatic. However, now she started talking about fasting to get herself into ketosis so she can start eating keto. At first she said she was going to fast for a day, and then she felt like she did so well with it she extended the fast into a second day. That was last Friday and she apparently started eating keto over last weekend. During this week I saw her in the lunchroom a couple times and didn't think anything of it. Then today while I was talking about how myself and a couple other coworkers had made a Friday run to The Habit (amazing burger joint), she joked about getting a quadruple cheeseburger and eating it without the bun. And I was like, jeez a quadruple? And then she tells me she hasn't eaten anything since Wednesday. Later I saw her with a Wendy's bag so I guess she did go get her burger. It's the next part of the conversation the has me questioning what my obligations are to this woman and her health, because she stated that she wants to try for a longer fast, and that this month she's going to attempt an entire week. I asked, "Why would you want to do that?!" And she replied, "Because it's healthy!" I responded, "You're never going to convince me that not eating for an entire week is healthy." She walked away at that point. Now I know intermittent fasting is a thing, but isn't it usually like one day once or twice a week? This woman is not doing IF, she's descending into seriously eating-disordered behavior. I don't know her personally at all. But I feel like someone should be alerted to the fact that she's planning to try an entire week of fasting and spoke admiringly of people who achieved three week fasts! I thought of speaking to our mutual boss but I'm not sure......
What would you do?
I would do nothing. You've already said something which is more than enough. Unless it is work related it's none of your business. And definitely not a reason to tell the boss.2 -
Your responsibility is zero. Stay out of it. You say yourself you don’t know her personally, why would you think you have any responsibility of inserting yourself into her situation? She’s an adult.3
-
You let her know your thoughts when she told you her plan, what she does from here on in is her choice
Just give the paramedics a heads up if she collapses at work0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.3K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.7K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 388 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.4K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.2K MyFitnessPal Information
- 22 News and Announcements
- 909 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.2K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions