Don't lose too much

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  • MrsPinterest34
    MrsPinterest34 Posts: 342 Member
    edited February 2018
    LivingtheLeanDream wrote: »
    People in general don't seem to have a real clue of what a healthy weight looks like any more.

    I agree. My mom was worried I was losing too much weight. When I saw her I was 143lb, I'm 5'2". My bmi then was around 26.2, an overweight BMI. I have been big my entire life since the 5th-6th grade. I realized my mom does not know what I look like with a healthy weight as an adult. So to her I look skinny. Compared to my older sister who has been a size 2-4 her adult life and 5'4". No one ever complains she's too skinny. Also I noticed my mom had gained weight since I last saw her. I was so excited to give her all my clothes that were too big, some still had tags, thinking it will fit her. I was so wrong. She couldn't fit into most of my clothes. I had to bring some back with me to donate. I had to remind her she is on multiple blood pressure meds, she needs to start losing weight to get off these meds. Also, if she doesn't want me to end up with heart problems losing weight is good for me.
  • misskarne
    misskarne Posts: 1,765 Member
    I understand the concerns about people not recognising "normal" weight anymore, but I think people are missing a vital clue right there in the OP: that OP had been involved in dangerous weight loss techniques before. I think loved ones have a right to be concerned in such a case.
  • stanmann571
    stanmann571 Posts: 5,727 Member
    You've gone from 350 to 240. You're a 5'10 man. that means that you're getting to the size where you no longer look "fat" from every angle. So yes, you're going to start getting comments about how much you've lost and how you should slow down.
  • batorkin
    batorkin Posts: 281 Member
    edited February 2018
    Man this really hit home, my entire family is obese except for me.

    I've lost 48 pounds so far, and I always wear black shirts so I look skinnier. Every time I see my mom (almost daily) she says "Oh my god you are so skinny, you need to eat more and stop trying to lose weight". It makes me mad because I want to eat more but I know I shouldn't. I shave my head, and she once told me "I look like a cancer victim" due to my face slimming down. It actually depressed me and almost made me give up.

    I am still 203 pounds, and I need to get to 188 to be considered "normal", plus I am definitely not going to stop right on the line of normal and overweight. My goal is 170-180.

    People are forgetting what healthy looks like, and that's scary.
  • lois1231
    lois1231 Posts: 330 Member
    I think in a way they are trying to sabotage you. Be careful. They might try to intentionally or unintentionally get you to eat more or eat more sugary foods. They aren't used to seeing you thinner and if they see you change it might make them realize they have no excuses not to change. You were like a comfortable old shoe, something that they were familiar with.
  • Rocknut53
    Rocknut53 Posts: 1,794 Member
    misskarne wrote: »
    I understand the concerns about people not recognising "normal" weight anymore, but I think people are missing a vital clue right there in the OP: that OP had been involved in dangerous weight loss techniques before. I think loved ones have a right to be concerned in such a case.

    Where is this vital clue we missed? How do I find this info about OP?
  • ZoneFive
    ZoneFive Posts: 570 Member
    edited February 2018
    I watched (on FB) a friend lose 100+ pounds over eighteen months. When she hit maintenance, her face was positively gaunt, and I thought she looked dreadful. She's been doing a lot of backpacking and trailwalking with her husband, and over time her weight has shifted and settled. She looks terrific now, months later.

    It's possible that I wasn't used to her new face, but it's also true that your body needs time to catch up with the new normal. That's one of the reasons real weight loss is a marathon, not a sprint, and we have to think long term.
  • apullum
    apullum Posts: 4,838 Member
    I can see why your parents are concerned if you have a history of eating disorders. Besides, they're your parents. They're always going to be concerned. I think the best you can do is to tell them that you are under a doctor's care and are making sure to get all of the nutrients your body needs. That might not help much, though. Things might get better when they realize how much healthier and happier you are as you get closer to your goal weight.

    My grandpa told me not to lose any more weight or else I would be ugly. My aunt told me that my new size is "too small for anyone to wear." A lot of us here have heard this stuff before. That doesn't make it any easier, but at least you know you're in good company.
  • HoneyBadger302
    HoneyBadger302 Posts: 2,085 Member
    The only people I've heard this from are people who are overweight. Friends and family who are fit, healthy, and at a good weight (no eating disorders in the under-eating category in my family) have never made that comment.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,598 Member
    The "drawn face" thing happened to me, too, after losing around 60 pounds at age 59-60. I could see it myself, but it improved quite a bit in a few months.

    As one example, a former long-time spin instructor of mine came back to sub a class, nor having seen me since I'd lost weight, and complimented me on the weight loss. A few months later, she subbed again and told me "I thought you'd lost too much at first, but now you look strong and fit." That second time, I was still at the same weight, and had done nothing that would make me any stronger or fitter.
  • ssarzen1976
    ssarzen1976 Posts: 28 Member
    My mum does it as well, she believes being overweight is "normal" and that it won't affect me.
    She has diabetes and back issues due to her weight, i ain't going down that path thanks!
  • dutchandkiwi
    dutchandkiwi Posts: 1,389 Member
    LivingtheLeanDream wrote: »
    People in general don't seem to have a real clue of what a healthy weight looks like any more.
    It is what struck me when my mother was commenting that my nephew was maybe a little bit overweight, but only by a kg or so. She then continued to tell me that he had been weighed and measured at the gym he'd joined and his BMI was 30,2 I gasped and sternly told her That means that he is obese! He's only 19 for heavens sake.
    I'd suspected he'd been heading the obese way and this confirmed it. He was not as my mother thought just a little over healthy weight.
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