Out of town guest for 11 days...try to stay at deficit or just maintain?

lightenup2016 · February 2018

Hi--I've been at this weight-loss thing again for the past 5 weeks, and doing well at it so far. I've lost 13 lbs out of the 25 I originally planned to lose (some of that just water). Now, my mom is coming to visit for the next 11 days, and I'm trying to figure out if I should bother trying to keep at my deficit, or move up to maintenance and hope I can even keep within that. My mom is a self-proclaimed "foodie", and we already have one lunch out planned, and an overnight trip for a wedding reception. I just know there will be temptation to overeat. Also, I've been burning most of my exercise calories through walking on my desk treadmill while I work from home. I won't be able to be holed up in my office the whole time she's here, so I'll be getting possibly less activity, too.

I know that I will always need to be able to deal with these situations, and others don't control what or how much I eat, etc. But it's my first real challenge this time around, and PMS is not going to help!!

So really out of curiosity, I'm just wondering what you all would do/have done in this situation? Continue with the deficit? Or treat it like a vacation and just try not to gain too much? Something in between?

ericpeeg · February 2018

I had a similar experience recently. I had to travel to visit my daughter (as well as do some consulting work) for 10 days. I was faced with the reality of frequent opportunities to bust my calorie budget, at least partially because I was wanting to be kind to my kid and her husband.

I dealt with it two ways. First, I continued to remind myself that weight loss is a marathon, not a sprint, and that if it takes me 10 days "longer" to meet my goals, so be it. I've been on the weight loss roller coaster before, and one of the mistakes I've made has been to treat it as a temporary lifestyle change, not something more permanent. Hence, the marathon metaphor.

The other thing I did was to intentionally shift my calorie budget to the dinner meal, because that was when social pressures were greatest. I did try to make my breakfast and lunch as austere as I possibly could, so that dinner could be less stressful. Whether that works for others, it's hard to say, but it did for me.

I didn't weigh myself while I was travelling. And I got sick upon my return, and didn't weigh myself for the week of illness, either. So, it's hard to say what might have happened when. But when I did get on the scale, I had lost 4 pounds from when I left for the trip. So, yay!

Your mileage may vary. But it's a not a sprint - it's a marathon.

ahoy_m8 · February 2018

To answer your question, I stick with the deficit. But my deficit is 250 cal/day (0.5lb/wk), i.e. not far from maintenance.

What I lingered over in your post is the temptation to overeat. You are right, all those are conditions that eventually you want to manage without overeating. You can enjoy the hell out of a wedding without overeating. Dealing with my mom for 11 days... that would be a test, speaking personally.

But you are half way to your goal, and that's as good a time for a diet break as any. I think it's really helpful to practice eating at maintenance along the way. If you get less activity, maintenance may end up being really close to your present calories anyway. It's probably a good idea to keep counting/tracking as you have been but try keeping it at maintenance. Good luck!

lightenup2016 · February 2018

ahoy_m8 wrote: »

To answer your question, I stick with the deficit. But my deficit is 250 cal/day (0.5lb/wk), i.e. not far from maintenance.

What I lingered over in your post is the temptation to overeat. You are right, all those are conditions that eventually you want to manage without overeating. You can enjoy the hell out of a wedding without overeating. Dealing with my mom for 11 days... that would be a test, speaking personally.

But you are half way to your goal, and that's as good a time for a diet break as any. I think it's really helpful to practice eating at maintenance along the way. If you get less activity, maintenance may end up being really close to your present calories anyway. It's probably a good idea to keep counting/tracking as you have been but try keeping it at maintenance. Good luck!

Well...there is also that!!

But thanks for your post. I had been thinking that a chance to practice maintenance might not be a bad idea.

lightenup2016 · February 2018

Yes, one thing different for me this time is that I don't have a time goal, or a major event to lose prior to (like a wedding, or half-marathon). So it doesn't bother me too much to think of being set back a little. I just hope it's only a little!

Another thing--I do practice a loose 16/8 or 14/10 IF, so I don't eat breakfast at all besides coffee with a square of chocolate. My mom knows this about me, since it's been the same for several years, and she's fine with that. So I know I can at least spread my calories between lunch and dinner. Hopefully that will help, especially if I'm just doing maintenance.

Thanks!

Tblackdogs · February 2018

I would play a private game that my mom didn't know about (because most people really don't want to be part of your "eating plan.") and eat lightly every chance I got. So if your day starts out with breakfast at home. Buy your mom some muffins or bagels, serve them with yogurt and fruit and just eat the fruit and yogurt. Lunch out? Eat a sandwich, leave off the top piece of bread and make good choices with condiments, cheese etc. Don't have a side of fries. If they come on the plate - will yourself not to have even one (part of the private game). If your mom asks why you're not eating the fries, say "I'm not that hungry!" Then dinner, eat what you want without gorging yourself. Maybe pass on dessert or share one with your mom.

Then take advantage of your mom visiting to get out and do some walking, unless she's not able. If she can't do it, then give her an hour of private time and take yourself on a brisk walk! You'll have bought yourself a few hundred extra calories!

The final part of the private game is weighing yourself when your mom goes home. You win if you haven't gained or if you've lost!

Most importantly, enjoy the time with your mom but don't view it as 11 days of binging! You'll feel better if you do your best to stick to your plan. I speak from experience!

abarriere · February 2018

My in laws are staying with us for 12 days! My goal is not to spend 1000 of my calories on wine each night! Kidding, kind of...

lightenup2016 · February 2018

Thanks for your replies! Honestly, today wasn't too bad. I've managed to stay at maintenance, even with eating lunch out (Mediterranean). I pre-logged my day, and gave myself a Quick Add of 800 calories for lunch, which I think ended up just about right. Even had a yummy dinner at home and a couple of treats, like baklava!! Yum...

Hmmm, maybe these extra calories for the next 10 days will be fun!

lightenup2016 · February 2018

abarriere wrote: »

My in laws are staying with us for 12 days! My goal is not to spend 1000 of my calories on wine each night! Kidding, kind of...

lightenup2016 · February 2018

OP here, with an update. My mom was here for 11days, and she went back home yesterday. While she was here, I increased calories by about 500 calories each day, and mostly stuck with my activity level, adding back half of any exercise I did (all walking). We ate lunch out 4 times, and went to a wedding reception while she was here.

I stuck to my calorie goal most days, going over by a few hundred one day (at the wedding reception), AND dealt with an increased appetite due to PMS. The morning my mom got here I weighed in at 146.8, she left yesterday, and this morning I weighed in at 147.0! In between that time I'd gone up to 149.6 and everywhere in between (PMS, increased sodium, etc), but yesterday was a lower calorie day, and it all evened out!

This was my first foray into maintenance, and I'm happy to say it went well and my weight stayed the same! Now back to that deficit and 20 more lbs to go!

I will likely be doing this type of "diet break" anytime we have company staying with us, or we're on vacation ourselves. It was a good first experience with maintenance!

Thanks again for all of your replies!

Azdak · February 2018

lightenup2016 wrote: »

OP here, with an update. My mom was here for 11days, and she went back home yesterday. While she was here, I increased calories by about 500 calories each day, and mostly stuck with my activity level, adding back half of any exercise I did (all walking). We ate lunch out 4 times, and went to a wedding reception while she was here.

I stuck to my calorie goal most days, going over by a few hundred one day (at the wedding reception), AND dealt with an increased appetite due to PMS. The morning my mom got here I weighed in at 146.8, she left yesterday, and this morning I weighed in at 147.0! In between that time I'd gone up to 149.6 and everywhere in between (PMS, increased sodium, etc), but yesterday was a lower calorie day, and it all evened out!

This was my first foray into maintenance, and I'm happy to say it went well and my weight stayed the same! Now back to that deficit and 20 more lbs to go!

I will likely be doing this type of "diet break" anytime we have company staying with us, or we're on vacation ourselves. It was a good first experience with maintenance!

Thanks again for all of your replies!

This is a story that calls for a POSITIVE “WOO!!!” (But not to confuse, I just gave it a “like”)

GOT_Obsessed · February 2018

Good for you! That Is great news.

Out of town guest for 11 days...try to stay at deficit or just maintain?

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