Exasperation with meal planning...can someone tell me how to fit 3 meals into 1200 calories?

Sorry but I definitely don’t buy Oprah’s coach’s excuses for her not losing weight. Her different food obsessions (“BREAD!”) and fad diets have prevented any kind of consistency that would have led her to be able to maintain a loss.
I know you don’t want to hear it and I understand you have some limitations:restrictions/issues, but getting your mind right is the first step. Why not try some of the suggestions you’ve been given for just a week (consistently) and see where it leads you? Being a martyr (eating only salads, etc) isn’t going to get you anywhere. You can eat what you were eating when you gained, just less of it. If your partner won’t help, then just do it for yourself. I don’t mean to be harsh, but I do get frustrated when people are given such great advice and don’t want to have an open mind and see where it might lead. FWIW- I’m almost 60 and have lost 95 lbs using MFP as designed. It took 3 years (referencing your comment that 6 lbs a month was slow) and that’s totally OK. You have to look at the big picture & play the long game when it comes to weight loss and maintaining a healthy weight and attitude. Good Luck Mona

MonaRaeHill wrote: »

amyepdx
I couldn't agree more. I can listen and read and hear with an open mind, but it's not a question of that (I am a very open-minded as well as being a big picture type person).
It's a question of what to do when platau's last for weeks/months, and the diet is not really satisfying and you just want that chocolate bar, because of a long term habit of eating for comfort.
Then what?
What are some of the coping skills one can use when this happens, that have worked for others?
I can be consistent, I can be rigid, I can really be a harsh taskmaster to myself. But, not forever, which is what happens..after awhile, I get so discouraged and exasperated that I just want to "chuck it in the f**kit, bucket" and eat that chocolate, thereby ruining months of hard work! Not because I ate the stupid chocolate bar, but because once I started, I couldn't stop....in the giving up, I also gave in.......... :(NOTHING, and I do mean, NOTHING that I have found, to date, can deter that impulse for me. Or at least, it hasn't happened yet. Hence, my overall exasperation! I am hoping it will happen and that I will stumble upon, or receive some random tip, that will interrupt this cycle for me! That's my prayer out to the Universe!
I need tools in place, for when that several month long plateau happens, because you and I both know, there WILL be plateaus, some that last much longer for me, then for others. (Not feeling sorry for myself, just being realistic, here).
That's the point.
I am like Kate in the show: "This is Us". Have you seen it?
I don't want to spoil anything, but at some point, she talks about the voices holding her back from her weight loss goal, and how she didn't know how to live without them, once she had lost the weight and so, naturally, it all came back, in triple digits! And she had pretty loving parents, with a fairly stable childhood, too (at least on the show, anyway). I realize it's just a TV show, but that's an important theme the writers touched on, for people who comfort eat.
In a loving stable childhood, they are just voices, but in a very dysfunctional childhood, they are obnoxious phantoms and demons..........trying to step all over the drowning persons weak refrains of: "I can do this", "I know I can".......that's the point.
I need coping strategies and tools, as well as "losing weight" buddies, and motivation/support.
I realize it's asking a LOT to get that here, but if not here, then where?
What's a comfort eater, to do, when they are "stuck" and can't get "unstuck"? That's the exasperation piece. I am in it for the long game, truly, which is why I was reaching out..........hoping that others experiences could maybe illuminate what to do when the demons come knocking!
As you can see, it's not just the BORING diet of shakes and salads, it's the mind set that I need to adopt and embrace, in order to succeed, so like I said, I couldn't agree more..........to adopt the mindset, I need coping skills to get past the initial plunge and to know how to hang on when the plateaus turn into marathons of patience and determination struggles...........is that any clearer?

I’m glad you brought up Kate. As much as I love the show, I get so frustrated about how they treat her “dieting”. Obviously written by men who have no idea. When she’s “being good”, she’s eating organic & low-fat muffins - WTF does that have to do with weight loss - nothing! They have her set up with the all or nothing demonizing food mindset which doesn’t work. That’s what you seem to be doing with worrying about a piece of chocolate - there’s no reason not to make it fit into your calories - I eat chocolate practically very day.

Trust me, emotionally eating is what got me to 267 lbs at the age of 56. And there was no bigger yo-yo dieter than me. I lost 25, gained 40. Lost 40, gained 60. Lost 60, gained 100. You get the idea. Because there was always a start & stop. This time, there is no stop. There are times I eat over and/or don’t log. But I continue on (not start over) and that’s the difference this time. I will be weighing & logging my food forever - or as long as I don’t want to be 267 lbs (or bigger) again. It’s not punishment, it’s reality and that’s OK too. I learned that mindset right here on MFP after 35 years of yo-yo dieting. I think that’s why your post hit me that I had to respond. It’s up to you to create your own destiny.

There is a lot going on in this post and I hope we can all work together to help out, but I want to pull out this part in particular:

MonaRaeHill wrote: »

I think I just may have broken it, yo-yo and fat-free dieting over the years. I say that, because I cannot have fat, any kind of fat......not avocados, not coconut, not butter, not not-butter, none, without it causing problems with my goals. That leaves no-fat protein shakes, and no nuts, no seeds, no avocado's, no salad dressings (which I haven't used, in years), etc.

When you say no fat do you mean absolutely zero grams of fat? Have you been checked out by a doc yet on that? Dietary fat is so important for things like hormone balance, but the big risk with very low fat diets is gallbladder problems. Gallbladder problems present as gastric pain and running to the bathroom after you eat fatty foods. I had to have mine out a few years ago. If you cannot have any fat in your diet then you need to get checked out asap.

MonaRaeHill wrote: »

I see all these things on meal planning, they only serve to make me edgy. What the heck are people eating on these meal plans? They sound like far too much work for a nibble, which is how I view 300 calories. That's a nibble, not a meal! Lawdy.
I can exceed 1200 calories by just eating once per day.....which makes me cranky....especially if I exercise that day. geez. What gives? I need an on board Weight Watchers chef. Or just choose to live on protein shakes w/greens, which is about the only way to eat healthy with what my budget will stand......blek.
How does anybody only eat 1200 calories, without losing it? Better off not eating at all.........in my mind. lol.

Protein of choice
Veggie of choice
Complex carb of choice
fat of choice
additional fiber
No fruit or sugar

Here's the rules:
**40g protein per meal
**150g veggies (weigh before cooking) per meal
**Complex Carb: Eat only enough carbs to fuel your workouts and your day, but no extra carb snacking. quinoa, winter squashes, sweet potato, beans, etc
**Fats: eat as much fat as you want to make the meal taste good, such as butter, avocado, olive oil, nut butter, etc. NO industrial oils, such as corn or canola oil.
**Additional fiber: Aim to increase fiber intake to 35g or more daily. Start slow! Add fiber to your diet slowly to avoid irritation and gas. fiber powder, chia seeds, flax seeds
Fruit/sugar: this is a temporary restriction, until you are well into weight loss, or have lost all you want.

You can make 3 meals, or divide the food to make 3 meals and 2 snacks.

Honestly, 1200 is unnecessarily restrictive. You can lose weight quickly if you don't eat excess carbs, sugar or fruit
You could eat 1600 cals and progress quickly.

Don't worry about offending people, or thanking them. Worry about your base assumptions that are leading you towards barking up the wrong tree.

I had a discussion with a friend about my dog today as she was hounding me to get "her share" of my greek yogurt based bagels (158 Calories each including 1 calorie for the 1g of PAM split between the batch). His comment was that the canine attempt to civilization was doomed to non development from day one because dogs can NOT comprehend trading food RIGHT NOW for much more food in the FUTURE.

In your mind weight loss means dropping 6lbs or more a month.

Come on. Admit it. If the needle is not moving you are not being rewarded for your sacrifices and effort.

You are neither the first nor the last person to fall for the food RIGHT NOW trap and so miss the chance for LOTS of FUTURE food. <-- yes, my example is a bit muddled since I am talking about weight losses as opposed to food, but the principles in question absolutely apply to YOUR weight loss efforts.

Guess what. You burn a certain amount of energy each and every day. If you're older, more sedentary, and quite possibly under-eating... you BURN LESS.

Why am I bringing up the concept of sedentary in this discussion? Because you mentioned in a post above that your Fitbit tells you to eat nothing, i.e. even less than 1200 Cal.

This instantly tells me that YOU are choosing a rate of loss that is incompatible with your burn as detected by your Fitbit.

Your deficit to meet your targeted rate of loss is such that once subtracted from your daily calories burned brings you under 1200 Cal (MFP has a floor at 1200 Cal. Fitbit does not have a floor and will stupidly tell you to eat less than nothing if you haven't burned enough to support the deficit you have selected).

But doing so creates REACTIONS.

While your metabolism is not BROKEN, it can most certainly slow down, and, if you keep under-feeding your body and selecting overly aggressive goals it probably HAS done so.

And you are offering ZERO help to yourself by not eating sufficient fats (including Omega 3 fats) which are critical to regulating your hormones.

As Diane mentioned above, if you are physically unable to eat fats, then it is time to see your doctor (muffins by the way have fat, another piece of proof, as if it were necessary, that fats by themselves are not stopping you from losing weight).

This is probably going to fall on deaf ears because hey, you know best after all these years of dieting what works for you and what doesn't... except, well, you're still at it. So maybe it is worth thinking about an alternative option or two.

a) Evaluate your goals. If you're not obese your risk of death from being over-fat as you age is not necessarily increased. If you are over 65 loss of lean mass and muscle may be a bigger danger than being overweight. BIG DEFICITS LEAD TO GREATER LOSS OF LEAN MASS. Muscle mass cannot be rebuilt easily at any point of time, but, even more so once we've aged.

b) Temper your expectations. You're not a dog!
2lbs a MONTH are 24lbs a YEAR.
TWENTY FOUR.
(oh, and that would be 0.5lbs a week in case you're counting, or a 250 Cal deficit... not the 1000 Cal deficit it sounds like you're selecting).

c) IF you have a Fitbit look at that number at the end of the day. is it saying 1500? Is it saying 2000? You only get as a maximum deficit 20% of that number. THAT'S IT. Make the number bigger... you can have a bigger deficit.
If you have such levels of fat available to be lost on you such that you could be classified as obese, then you can dial up the deficit to 25%)

d) Don't evaluate your progress by weighting yourself once a week before or after your big salad and calling that your weight. Use a trending weight application or website (you can connect your Fitbit to trendweight.com), weight yourself every day or every second day or as frequently as you can mentally tolerate (but no more than once a day after using the washroom, while wearing the same stuff or nothing, and using a scale that doesn't move and is located on a solid/unyielding piece of level floor and has relatively fresh batteries), and record that weight in your trending weight application. Then REVIEW YOUR PROGRESS based on what you've logged as your CICO balance and how your weight TREND has responded over a period of 4 to 6 weeks. If you're post menopausal you can cut that down to 3 to 4 weeks.

Now. If it turns out that based on the interaction between your ability to log correctly and the ability of your "Fitbit" to evaluate your caloric burn correctly that after 3-4 weeks it looks like your device is for example 20% off based on your results (for example if it predicted a daily burn of about 2000 calories and you logged that you ate 1600 Cal a day but based on your trending weight you didn't lose a single lb), then you take this into account during your evaluation and convert the 2000 Cal burn whenever you see it into a 1600 burn and create a 20% deficit off of that lower amount.

Do the work carefully and you can have and measure deficits as small as 100 Cal a day AND LOSE WEIGHT AS PREDICTED. Yet... even 100 cal a day means a full 10lbs a year. Certainly NOT nothing.

Or... you can continue shooting for 6lbs a month and continue going no-where fast (well, except to frustration-land... but I think it is obvious you've already arrived there)

MINIMUMS to eat include 0.35g of dietary FAT per lb of target weight in the normal weight range (the least amount possible saturated. most of it poly or mono-unsaturated). Many other people would suggest a higher minimum such as 0.45g per lb. Very few would suggest less that 0.35g though when it comes to women.

0.8g to 1g of protein per lb of target weight in the normal weight range. This is approximately 2x the RDA and assumes that you don't have current or hidden kidney issues. As you get older and are in a caloric deficit there is credible evidence that your protein requirements increase over the base RDA level. Any extra benefit of moving from 2x to 3x RDA is smaller relatively speaking and more debatable. But the benefits of moving from 1x RDA to 2x seem to be both solid and have few if any side effects especially in the short term. So eat your protein.

And as a woman aim for at least 26g of fiber per day (38g for men)

And the rest of your calories can be whatever you want them to be. Chocolate potato chips if you want... but you might find yourself less hungry and more healthy if you make more nutritionally sound choices.

Incidentally. At normal calories and using MFP's defaults for protein and fats, the levels specified on MFP's guided setup, if treated as minimums, tend to meet the above suggestions.

The chances of you doing all that.... well. I am not holding my breath.

Best of luck...