Women weighing more than their partner

I hate the idea that a woman MUST weigh less than her partner who is male...but I subscribed to it for a very long time.

My serious relationships and first marriage were all with men quite a bit heavier than me, meaning we were both obese. My first marriage ended for a variety of reasons, but I was disappointed in how inactive my husband was and how little interest he had in eating healthy food...that went on for the entire decade we were together, too, it wasn't just me getting into nutrition & weight loss. Even though I was very large I was always pretty active and liked to eat vegetables and try to stay healthy (didn't smoke and he did, another example).

So when I was a 35 year old divorcee I said you know what...I don't care. I dated guys whose interests matched up with mine and I didn't care anymore if they were skinny or average or whatever, and if I outweighed them. Although it wasn't a love match I dated one guy who was easily 100 lb smaller than me! But when I met my husband, he was around 220 lb at 6'2" and I was 270 lb at 5'8". It wasn't even an issue. It was great that we were (and are) able to go do all the active stuff together!

Now he actually outweighs me by 80 lb. We're at 170 (me) and 250 (him), he is working to lose a few pounds he has put on over the past few years. But it's great either way and honestly I don't feel like it even matters.

it's easy to give into pejorative pressures to look, be, feel a certain way. Why should a woman weigh less than her partner? Why should her partner weigh more? The idea that you "MUST" be a certain is insidiously present in our culture. You can't escape it, but you don't have to give into it. You can't control your partner's size, so don't let it control you.

I weigh about 5 lbs more than my husband but as a woman my body is fundamentally different than my husbands. I'm also stronger, faster, and a better athlete than him. I also have fat deposits on my chest and behind that he does not. He is about 6 inches taller than me and 10 years older than me. There is no physical reason for us to compare ourselves. Stop comparing yourself to someone who has a body that does completely different things than yours. It's a losing game every time.

What's most important in a partner is compatibility based on personalities, goals, dreams, lifestyle. I'm sure weight plays some part of it.

For instance someone who is overweight, sedentary, and not interested in doing anything other than coming home and watching TV for the night would probably not be a good fit for someone who is active and wants to do things like go bike riding or hiking.

Whether the female is a little heavier than the male is kind of subjective I guess. Currently I am heavier than my husband and I have been for the past 18 years. And that's not ideal I don't like it but mainly it's because I am overweight not because I'm bigger than my husband if that makes sense.

We're all different shapes and sizes. Both women and men. I think society tells us that women should be smaller than our male partners. Lots of flaws with this theory. What about taller women? What about men who are of a smaller build? I think it's a pretty shallow way of judging a relationship - but yeah, it exists. I'm 5'2" and very petite - hard to find a guy that's smaller than me. But I didn't have much of a role in my genetics.

My ex weighed less than me most of the time. I was really happy when I was at my lowest adult weight and FINALLY weighed less than he did...which lasted about 5 seconds because I got pregnant.