Feeling out of place at the Gym

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  • lockedcj7
    lockedcj7 Posts: 257 Member
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    People only have the ability to make you feel bad if you let them. Don't give that kind of power to just anyone. Give it carefully and judiciously, only to those closest to you. If they prove to be unworthy of that trust, take the power back!

    I'm not going to the gym to "fit in" of be something that I'm not. I'm going to improve my health, my weight and my outlook on life. I have a beautiful wife and wonderful son and I want to be around for a good long time to enjoy them. I also want to be able to wrestle and hike and play ball with my son without getting winded. I want to be healthy!

    Notice that nothing I mentioned has anything to do with what anyone else thinks or looks like.
  • tekrueger
    tekrueger Posts: 85
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    Stick it our where you are or, yah, if it's so bad TO YOU where you go, take up the suggestions of the others to find a place where you can feel good in and do what you want to do in.
    I go to the cheapest gym around where I live and make the best of it; I was lucky though as the owner treats the members as if they are part of an extended "family" and even if it is HIS he let's us use it like it's OUR own.
    First time I walked in the door to check it out, I was met by a friendly 20 year old weight lifter who greeted me with a smile showed me around the place (as I guess I looked really lost!).
    It's been almost 3 months now and I don't regretit at all.
    I'll share a detail though; I had asked about area gyms to one of my swim team members in June, so I guess it took me almost six months to get up the courage and the resolve to just check out the gyms and start.
    You are already in the door :smile: PLEASE don't let your worries about what others might think stop you - NO WAY!
    Make it yours and enjoy; there may always be someone prettier, stronger, slimmer, more intelligent than me (and maybe also you :wink: ) so we just got to do our own thing.
    I found that even the fittest gym goers - if they aren't people you wouldn't/shouldn't want to know - will respect your commitment and will notice your improvements and those are the folks you should be getting support/ideas/experience from.
    Thomas
  • aslavich
    aslavich Posts: 250 Member
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    I read your post and immediately thought of what I do to get over that...

    When someone comes and gets on the treadmill next to me I have a "conversation" with them in my head. Weird, I know but this is how it goes...

    "Oh, you wanna race? Come on, let's go!"

    This gets me going. They may be going faster than me and outlast me, but I still win simply because I am there!

    Don't worry about what anyone else is thinking about you.. out-think them!

    Good luck... I hope this helps...
    Angela :flowerforyou:
  • Erica92627
    Erica92627 Posts: 576
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    I use to compare myself at the gym too. I do notice that people do look at people different. I always feel that people are watching me! I avoid the tredmills. (oh by the way, to the one about tieing your shoe... hope you can look back and laugh at that) :smile:

    I just feel that people look at people who are a bit heavier then them and wonder what thoughts are going through their mind.

    I am going to try to get back into a routine and stick with it. I used to go to the gym all the time and stuck to it really well. Then I got busy with life stuff and haven't been going as often as I could and should.

    I too am one who wears long work out gear, I am going to do that until I can find a way to tone and get my legs to not be so bulky.

    again, if anyone has suggestion, please share.
  • PSUgrl921
    PSUgrl921 Posts: 368 Member
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    I used to feel like that too. So bad, in fact, that I didn't even go at times because I was so embarrased at my panting and sometimes I still feel like that. However, now that I've been going a bit more often I can hold my own with some and that feels amazing! So hang in there. I tend to just put on my headphones and zone everything else out. Works well.
  • karriccina
    karriccina Posts: 7
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    I work out at home with my 4 year old son while watching FIT TV. Kudos 2 u 4 being able to go out there in a gym to work out. I can not see myself doing that until I lose about 30 pounds.

    Great job!:happy:
  • charny164
    charny164 Posts: 175 Member
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    When I started at my gym I was a size 18/20. There was a good mix of people at the gym of all sizes and abilities but to tell you the truth, I didn't pay attention. I was there for one reason alone - me! Sure you see the little 20 year old girls with the bikini bodies working out beside you or doing aerobics while you are huffing and puffing away - how can you possibly miss them. I would put on my headphones, look at the tv's and work my *kitten* off until I burned 1000 calories per gym trip. Nothing would stop me.
    I would work out in sweatpants and a sweatshirt so no lumps or bumps would show and then when I started seeing results - it was all shorts and a tee shirt to show off my progress. Not for them but for me. I could look in the mirror and see my bootie was shrinking and so was my chest. I could see my muscles emurging from under the many layers of fat and I was proud!
    My advice to you is to focus in on yourself while you are there. Look in the mirror and admire your assets and flaws because honey, it only gets better everytime you go. Each bead of sweat on your forehead is a fat cell crying because it doesn't want to leave your body, but you are gonna make it leave with every step you take.
    If you look at these girls and wish you could look like that, then make it your motivation to be the best person you can be. In the best shape of your life with the best shape you can achieve!
    Girls can be b*tchie sometimes too and say mean and hurtful things, yes. But you are better than that because you can rise above and achieve anything you put your head and heart into.
    Can you tell I have been ridiculed before? You bet. It hurts for sure but once you get past the fact that people aren't at the gym to look and see if your butt is bigger than theirs you will be fine.

    I hope I don't come across as being mean or nasty or anything. That is not my intent. I just want you to know that from a fat person who has been through it, If I can do it - you can too. Your worth it!

    Good luck, take care and stay motivated!
    Charlene :drinker:
  • ken7
    ken7 Posts: 46
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    Just remember its a beauitiful thing that you Are in the gym ... Thats jus a battle in itself to make it there with our busy schedules. So, Kudos for getting there. Now, remember to keep your mind set on your goals. I also, lose sight ... but you gotta get a grip & clear your mind. If you are (hopefully you are) taking your walkman, MP3, IPOD, ect. Do this, next time you think of who's watching .... crank your music up ....& shut out those thoughts!!! I know ppl are watching .... I crank it up a bit louder & go to war with myself. Because at the end of the day ... its You against You!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    bottomline!!
  • catlover
    catlover Posts: 389
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    When I lived in Oregon I tried all the work out places in the area on a two week trial period; some even let me do a month so I could try classes, etc. I opted to do the women's only gym. I joined with a group of friends so I always had a buddy. We were all about the same size and had similar goals so I rarely felt intimidated. I loved that fact that my trainer was an average size person who wasn't a size zero. She was fit, but not supermodel material.

    Interesting fact that you might not think of--I looked into buying a gym once and I had a chance to look at the books. Gyms make far more money from people who drop out and are locked into paying out their one or two year contract than they do from people who actually GO to the gym. People have the mindset that if they have to pay, they'll go, but that is rarely a motivator. If you asked everyone at the gym why they go, I doubt that one person would say, "Because I want to get my money's worth."

    Something else you might try, strike up a conversation with someone on the treadmill next to you. Just like the man who had already lost many pounds, every person has an interesting story to share.
  • cp005e
    cp005e Posts: 1,495 Member
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    I go to the local YMCA - it's cheaper than most gyms, has most of the same equipment, and has a wide range of ages, weights, and body types in attendance. Sure, I feel uncomfortable getting into a swimsuit and doing my SLOOOOOW laps - but who really cares? At least I'm there, and I have every right to be! Honestly, I agree with some of the other posters - when I see people heavier than me at the gym, no matter how out of shape they are, I am IMPRESSED because I know how hard it is to make that commitment to change your life. And, the longer you go, the harder you'll be able to be able to work, and the more difference you'll be able to see when you check yourself out in the mirror. It doesn't really matter what anybody else thinks, and most of them are probably just thinking about themselves anyway. :tongue:
  • melathon
    melathon Posts: 246 Member
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    Each bead of sweat on your forehead is a fat cell crying because it doesn't want to leave your body, but you are gonna make it leave with every step you take.

    Amen, sista! Make 'em cry!

    And remember - you're burning WAY more calories per minute than Skinny Minnie is. (And someday you'll be a Skinny Minnie, but for now, enjoy the journey.)
  • slieber
    slieber Posts: 765 Member
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    TBH, when I see someone at the gym who is incredibly overweight, the first thing I think is, "Well done you!! You're taking action to help yourself and I hope you keep at it!!"

    I'm not "incredibly overweight" to look at me, although I do feel like it. And I had the same feelings as you. In fact, at first, all I would do was swim, and would wrap myself in a towel coming in and out of the pool. But the more you go, the easier it gets.

    I recall running (not literally) from the gym when a couple of former students showed up there at the same time. I haven't run from them since.

    Ignore what others are doing. Remember, they've likely been doing for a while what you are just starting. You will GET more comfortable. And everyone, in their thoughts, likely is thinking encouragement, because they are doing the same things you are.
  • His_Kelly
    His_Kelly Posts: 248
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    I really appreciate all the wonderful replies! Thank you so very much!!!! :flowerforyou:
  • catlover
    catlover Posts: 389
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    I heard a quote about the gym when I was going and I know it's not accurate, but maybe close:

    "The most challenging workout at the gym is the drive there."

    I take it to mean that getting there is the battle, once you're there, it's all downhill.....:laugh:
  • nicole0177
    nicole0177 Posts: 377
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    Feeling out of place should be motivation for you!!!! because right now you feel like the biggest one but you pushing yourself and doing all you can to not be the biggest one at the gym. And you will be one of those thin people someday if you dont let it discourage you.

    And when i c a very large person at the gym(bigger than me) id think anything bad of them i think good because at least their trying instead of just hiding away and gaining more weight.
  • jason7
    jason7 Posts: 20
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    I really wouldn't worry about it. Actually, when I go to the gym the furthest thing from my mind is looking at people. I could care less what they look like and what they think I look like. My mission in a gym is simple: Get in, get my work out done and go home.

    I always remember when I'm at the gym that I'm there doing something good for myself. As long as you keep the mission of why you are at the gym in mind, it doesn't matter what you wear or anything else. Remember, you are there to improve your life for the better, as everyone else there is as well.
  • mjfer123
    mjfer123 Posts: 1,234 Member
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    Dont worry about it, most people at the gym are there to work out and leave
    either they are also on the same quest to lose weight or they have too much free time to be staring down people at the gym
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
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    I used to feel self-conscious too. I mean, I was 270 lbs just last September! At first I would kind of shuffle my feet and not look anyone in the eyes, but then I realized that I have as much right to be there as anyone else and if anyone were to give me a negative look or attitude, then they were the sad person..not me. I am 209 now and still work out in sweat pants and a tshirt and probably will even when I hit my goal weight of 135....hey, it's actually what people say you should work out in! Comfortable, cotton clothes that breathes. Just think of the girl in the spandex getting a nasty yeast infection!! LOL No..that's not nice!!!!

    In all seriousness, just focus on YOU and what you are doing for yourself and forget everone else.

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