Women weighing more than their partner

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  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
    edited February 2018
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    nasvic8 wrote: »
    Should women weigh less than their partner? My partners size affects how I feel about mine. I'd be greatful for feedback, how much is too much of a weight gap between the two

    People should aim to be a healthy weight for them.
    A tall woman might weigh the same or more than a shorter man or woman and both be a healthy weight. (OP doesn't say partner is a male)
    If you are talking about feeling good about yourself or what is attractive to you that is something you have to decide for yourself.

    I have weighed more than my dh. He has weighed more than me. We currently weigh about the same but I am overweight and he is not. At my goal weight he might weigh 20-30 lbs more than me. I'd like to be a healthy weight. I am not bothered that there is not a huge gap in our weights.
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
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    I don't currently have a partner, but all the ones I had weighed less than me and neither if us cared. Actually, my longest relationship was with someone 1/3 my weight. Being lighter than him would have not been an option even if I wanted to because he was clinically underweight with a BMI of 16.
  • HeidiMightyRawr
    HeidiMightyRawr Posts: 3,343 Member
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    I don't think there's any "shoulds" in terms of weight between couples. Aim to be the weight that you feel more comfortable at, regardless of anyone else.

    Men are generally heavier because they on average are taller and have more muscle mass. We all know this is just a general rule and that there are shorter men, taller women, men with not much muscle, women with lots. In the same way, people also have varying levels of fat stores and different body shapes.

    I can't remember where I heard it before, but I remember someone somewhere said when comparing men and women, that there are more differences within the same sex (eg. more differences between women) than there are strictly between the average man and women, and I think that's true.

    My bf is taller than me. He's leaner and has substantially more muscle than me, but he's around 5lbs lighter. I'm losing weight because I know where I feel most comfortable, nothing to do with him.
  • HeidiMightyRawr
    HeidiMightyRawr Posts: 3,343 Member
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    nasvic8 wrote: »
    I still think an average woman should weigh less than an average man, unless pregnant. The rest are excuses I think.

    When do you ever get couples matched up exactly based on how average they are as a man or woman though? You don't.

    There are tonnes of variances in humans and lets say 5 was average weight on a scale of 1-10, you're going to get 2's with 8's and 7's with 4's and stuff like that so you can't take what the average is and apply it to real life situations like what couples should weigh in comparison to each other.

    What if the average woman got heavier but the men stayed the same, would the body ideals change as well? Even if women only got heavier because of controllable issues, like how much they chose to exercise?

  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 24,953 Member
    edited February 2018
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    nasvic8 wrote: »
    Should women weigh less than their partner? My partners size affects how I feel about mine. I'd be greatful for feedback, how much is too much of a weight gap between the two

    Depends on height.

    My husband is taller than me so should weigh more than me ... and he does. :)

    If I weighed the same as he does, I'd be really overweight, and that wouldn't be a good thing.

  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    nasvic8 wrote: »
    I still think an average woman should weigh less than an average man, unless pregnant. The rest are excuses I think.

    An excuse for what?
    Someone can be a healthy weight but still weigh more than another person who is also a healthy weight for them.

    Average height varies around the world. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_average_human_height_worldwide
    Sometimes people from different regions get together. Sometimes non-average height people get together.
    I know several taller than average women.
    Measured average height, weight, and waist circumference for adults aged 20 and over
    Men:
    Height in inches: 69.2
    Weight in pounds: 195.7
    Waist circumference in inches: 40.0* (101.5 centimeters)
    Women:
    Height in inches: 63.7
    Weight in pounds: 168.5
    Waist circumference in inches: 38.1* (96.9 centimeters)*Unpublished figure. Derived from converting published figures listed in centimeters to inches
    .
    From https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/body-measurements.htm

    The average US woman and man are overweight according to this. The average 5'9" man outweighs the average 5'4" woman but that does not mean they are at healthy weights or will want to be together.

    Everyone has preferences in partners. If you prefer to be with someone bigger or smaller than you that is a preference you have. It is not what everyone should do.
  • ThisOtherGirl
    ThisOtherGirl Posts: 56 Member
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    Right, so my husband is tall and skinny, I am short and literally round! Which basically makes us a walking number 10 I got the gastric sleeve 6 months ago though so it is not AS bad anymore I guess!
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,874 Member
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    You should aim for a healthy weight...that may or may not be more or less than your SO depending on a multitude of factors.
  • rainingribbons
    rainingribbons Posts: 1,051 Member
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    I personally believe it doesn't matter. When my boyfriend and I started dating 4 years ago we were the same weight... but I'm also 5-6 inches taller than he is. It had no impact on our relationship or how we felt about one another. Now he weighs quite a bit more than I do due to weight that he put on while he was finishing college. He's currently working on losing that now and once he does we'll probably still be within 5-10 pounds of each other, depending on our different fitness goals and where they lead us. Will that bother him? No clue, but it didn't before so I don't see it doing so now. Will it bother me? Not in the slightest.
  • mfpfreedomnow
    mfpfreedomnow Posts: 52 Member
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    nasvic8 wrote: »
    Should women weigh less than their partner? My partners size affects how I feel about mine. I'd be greatful for feedback, how much is too much of a weight gap between the two

    Do you mean BMI instead of weight? You could have the same BMI as your partner and weigh more than them. I've dated women that weigh more or less than me but we we're always around the same BMI.
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
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    nasvic8 wrote: »
    This thread has received a lot of attention. We all know women should weigh less but often weigh more. That's the whole problem hence the controversy because everyone is trying to be politically correct and add variables to unnecsssarily complicate my simple question. It's good to see younger girls nowerdays hitting the gym harder although their use of supplements is of concern. Thanks all.

    The average BMI for men is close to the average BMI for women, if not slightly higher. So, no, they don't "often weight more". People are fat in average and everybody knows that, your question doesn't bring anything new or applicable in the real world because people of all kinds of shapes and sizes get together. Your question would only make sense (although I'm not sure what your point really is) if only people of comparable height in relation to average got together. This has nothing to do with being PC, and everything to do with notions based on distorted information and lack of point.
  • nasvic8
    nasvic8 Posts: 10 Member
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    BMI has its shortcomings.

    While BMI can provide an accurate snapshot of weight trends across a population, it can also be inaccurate for certain individuals. Bodybuilders, for example, are often classified as overweight or obese because muscle is denser than fat and they tend to have more muscle than other people. Because gender, age and ethnicity affect a person’s body composition and fat percentage, BMI can seem ambiguous -- at the same BMI, older adults tend to have more fat than younger adults; black people tend to have more fat than white people; and a woman is likely to have more body fat than a man. That doesn’t mean, however, that a tall woman with low body fat couldn’t have the same BMI as a shorter, heavier man.
  • nasvic8
    nasvic8 Posts: 10 Member
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    BMI is an ambiguous and vague measure, your unnecessarily obfiscating a crystal clear point.
  • concordancia
    concordancia Posts: 5,320 Member
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    My husband's weight is pretty consistent and is at the low end of normal for him, closer to the high end for me. I hope to weigh that much some day. The important thing is he has never made me feel bad about my size. I do that all by myself.
  • stacie_gourlay_1993
    stacie_gourlay_1993 Posts: 28 Member
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    am currently a lot heavier than my partner and its depressing he is 12st 5 but he's not very tall at all does not seem to bother him even no it is so big am 18st 2 at my biggest I was 19st 4 :open_mouth:

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