Help with mindset please
janisseshirley
Posts: 50 Member
when I was growing up we always had to remain at the table and finish every bite before we got up from the table. We were always told food was hard to come by and never to waste it. Because of this reason it always seemed like my brothers and sisters would give me the food they never could finish. I was the leftover kid. With this drilled in my head for years I find it hard to just quit eating or feel it is okay not to finish my plate. I have went to a smaller plate and that has helped somewhat. I would like to be able to also feel full and find a good place to stop when eating, but I think because I indulged so much as a child I don't know when I am full, or at least I don't know the meaning of feeling "full". Can someone tell me a way I can guage this now. I don't ever seem to feel full.
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I grew up similar to this and it is only now in my fifties that I have started to challenge the thinking. There is nothing inherently worthwhile about finishing your plate. Certainly not in comparison with loving and caring for yourself. I try to focus on taking smaller plates and portions. And when I mess up, I focus on loving and caring for myself and I throw out the food.6
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Better it go to waste than my waist. This is especially true if you are overweight enough to be having health issues.8
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Chew your food slowly in smaller bites. Gives the brain time to catch up with the stomach, to get the message you are full.
Routine is good. Schedule daily your meals and snacks.
Smaller portions, not too heavy in fat. Fat eaten in excess can really slow down digestion.
Just some tips my dietician told me that helped me years ago.6 -
Chew your food slowly in smaller bites. Gives the brain time to catch up with the stomach, to get the message you are full.
Routine is good. Schedule daily your meals and snacks.
Smaller portions, not too heavy in fat. Fat eaten in excess can really slow down digestion.
Just some tips my dietician told me that helped me years ago.
Excercise can help with working up an appetite. If you are just starting out with excercise, try a walk for 15 mins before meals.
Time your snacks halfway between meals, not so close to meal times that it kills your appetite.1 -
I never feel full, so basically what I do is just serve up, and eat one serving of whatever it is, and call it good (as long as it fits in my calories). I can feel full, but 5 minutes later feel like I could eat again. I don't need to, I know I'm not actually hungry, but I could fit more food in there. I try to hit my protein, fiber, and fat goals each day and if I do I figure I've gotten what I need and just let ignore that voice that trys to convince me to eat something just because it will taste good. the voice occasionally wins, but I'm getting stronger.11
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I grew up similar. What helps me now is to prepare smaller portions thus having less to waste.
If I do prepare larger portions,I seal them up in ziplock bags or Tupperware and freeze them for another day so there's nothing wasted.
Put your portion in your plate and eat. Save the rest for later.
I used to feel guilty throwing out bananas that where too ripe but now I've come to the conclusion that if I paid for it, I can do what I want with it. If it's not good to me, I toss it out. I don't intentionally waste food but heck, if I don't want it then I'll toss it.
I have dogs so I can lessen some of the" wasted" food by feeding it to them. If I've made too much rice and don't want to save it, I'll just mix it into their food. This way it wasn't a waste.
If I have new packaged foods that I don't want, I just drop them off at the homeless shelter. You know how sometimes you'll buy something thinking that you'll prepare it but never do? Instead of it sitting in my cabinet, I'll just drop it off to them. This way it wasn't wasted food or wasted money because someone else is going to use it.
Most of all, I just learned that I couldn't let my past predict my future. Just because I was raised a certain way, doesn't mean I needed to stay stuck in those ways. It was freeing to let go of some of the things I was taught as a child. I look at it like If I want to throw away food, it's my choice as I paid for it.13 -
Great tips above. Something that really resonated with me was once reading that if you are finishing all the leftovers as an alternative to throwing them away, you are effectively treating your body like a dustbin. Helped me to throw away my kids’ leftovers rather than be the human waste disposal!4
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I had to learn that I was not a garbage disposal chute for the excess food in the house. The first time you throw something out, it's scary. You'll survive. The second time, you know you got this.4
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I grew up the same way! As an adult, I used to make enormous portions just because I could get it down, so I figured I needed it. Google THE HUNGER SCALE, it helped me; my scale was "starving" and "stuffed", now I can feel something inbetween, usually. Keep in mind that hunger and satiety is individual, subjective, habitual and situational, so you'll have to work on it, not just memorize it, also look at many different versions, including some that deal with the difference between hunger and cravings, physical and emotional hunger.
I too hate throwing out food, so now I portion out when I meal plan, shop, cook and serve myself. It's rare that I feel like I'm "supposed to" after a meal; I often want to eat more even though I know I've had enough, or even if I'm stuffed, the fullness "grows" after a meals, but also comes and goes, hunger is often easier to tolerate than cravings, and so on. So I just have to trust my own common sense, and leave it at that. I also weigh myself every morning and keep track of the numbers so I know I'm eating enough - "eating enough" isn't really my problem, lol - I can adjust if I'm trending upwards (I'm in maintenance).5 -
I couldn't change my mindset so instead I assigned value to food. Nutrient dense food is too valuable to throw away (pretty much just fruit, veggies, lean meat, and nuts.) Anything unhealthy has so little value it's ok to throw away. In fact it takes value away from my health so throwing it away is doing myself a favor.3
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I plate up small portions and put leftovers in bowls that I LEAVE in the kitchen ... If I or my wife and child really are still hungry after dinner, we have to go back to the kitchen for seconds. ... IF not the food gets put in the fridge/freezer for another time.
Its hard though, I never EVER feel full .... well, other than the other day where I made Protein fluff and swore I would never eat again .. BLURGH, too much foam2 -
Assigning value to food and dividing food into good/bad was exactly what ruined my relationship with food. Happy for you if it works for you though.Wilkersonla wrote: »I couldn't change my mindset so instead I assigned value to food. Nutrient dense food is too valuable to throw away (pretty much just fruit, veggies, lean meat, and nuts.) Anything unhealthy has so little value it's ok to throw away. In fact it takes value away from my health so throwing it away is doing myself a favor.4 -
kommodevaran wrote: »
Assigning value to food and dividing food into good/bad was exactly what ruined my relationship with food. Happy for you if it works for you though.Wilkersonla wrote: »I couldn't change my mindset so instead I assigned value to food. Nutrient dense food is too valuable to throw away (pretty much just fruit, veggies, lean meat, and nuts.) Anything unhealthy has so little value it's ok to throw away. In fact it takes value away from my health so throwing it away is doing myself a favor.
Exactly this!! Giving food that meaning has completely warped my sense of food.
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I was brought up to clear my plate as well. You've made inroads by now using smaller plates - What I will say is, if you are weighing the foods you are eating so you know the portions you have placed on your plate are ok then its fine to still clear your plate. If you haven't used a food scale before, make a start. It's eye opening and in time you'll get to know what portion sizes should look like.
It takes time to realise we are full, eat your meals slowly, enjoying and savouring each bite. Listen to the cues of your brain/body telling you that you are filling up. I found eating out was when it became the biggest problem, because I felt I was wasting food. It took me ages to get used to leaving some food on the side of my plate if I was full. Now I have no problem, better it goes in the bin than lead me to over eat and thus gain. Plus I hate that feeling of being overfull so I'm happy to quit while I'm ahead.1 -
It takes time to realise we are full, eat your meals slowly, enjoying and savouring each bite. Listen to the cues of your brain/body telling you that you are filling up.
I have been eating slowly, even chewing every bite like 20 x's. You say listen to the cues of your brain telling you that you are full. That's my problem I don't seem to be having those cues. I am not lying when I say I can overeat and not ever feel full. Will this ever change?
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My family ate gigantic portions and I grew up with no sense of how much I should be eating. What helps me is putting my plate on the food scale, hitting tare, and then loading my plate with the correct weight of each food right there in the kitchen. I don't think I am ever going to get that feeling of "full now, stop," but the scale is a substitute, and when I eat good, reasonably prepared foods instead of fat and sugar laden calorie bombs, I am no longer hungry after eating.2
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After dieting for a year and consuming smaller portions to stay in my calorie budget I decided on my birthday to eat whatever I wanted. I got sick and was miserably full on about half what I used to eat. So to answer your question... Yes you will eventually feel full.
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janisseshirley wrote: »It takes time to realise we are full, eat your meals slowly, enjoying and savouring each bite. Listen to the cues of your brain/body telling you that you are filling up.
I have been eating slowly, even chewing every bite like 20 x's. You say listen to the cues of your brain telling you that you are full. That's my problem I don't seem to be having those cues. I am not lying when I say I can overeat and not ever feel full. Will this ever change?
Look for the volume eaters thread here. Perhaps, bulk up every one of your meals.
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10563959/volume-eaters-thread/p12 -
I think you're inventing problems (or internalizing media created problems). You can enjoy your food even if you eat fast. Masticating sounds like the opposite of food enjoyment. Most people can overeat and never feel full. Lots of people are also overweight. Hunger and stuffed-ness are obvious feedback signals. You can learn to get hints to fullness, if you want to, and practice a lot, but they are and will never be anything but subtle. And you don't need them, like you need food and water and air and shelter. They are nice to have, like TV and designer shoes. That's why we weigh and log our food, and if we want to, learn what reasonable portions look like.janisseshirley wrote: »It takes time to realise we are full, eat your meals slowly, enjoying and savouring each bite. Listen to the cues of your brain/body telling you that you are filling up.
I have been eating slowly, even chewing every bite like 20 x's. You say listen to the cues of your brain telling you that you are full. That's my problem I don't seem to be having those cues. I am not lying when I say I can overeat and not ever feel full. Will this ever change?1 -
I’ve been trying to eat until I’m 80% full, as I understand certain long-lived populations in Japan do. It’s resetting my thinking about what satiety is. Basically, I’m eating slowly, until I’m no longer hungry, but still feel like I could eat more. Usually by 15 minutes later I feel totally content (if not, I eat more). Definitely a different way of thinking than the clean-your-plate I grew up with.3
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I grew up the same way. "There are people starving in this world."
A few things I have tried:
Chug a cup of water before eating. I mean chug chug like a frat boy at a keg party. Then sit down to eat your meal. My stomach seems to feel fuller after I have eaten my smaller portion. Perhaps it's in my head, but hey it seems to work.
If at a restaurant you have eaten a reasonable amount and don't intend to take the leftovers home then dump pepper, sugar or salt over it so you don't pick at it. If it looks gross you won't be tempted by it.
If you have emptied your plate (because it was a smaller portion) and you still want more food, only go for the veggies, not the meat. Or allow yourself a desert of fruit with light Cool Whip. (Or a lighter calories desert)1 -
I have also had a hard time remembering that it's okay to leave something on the plate! I try to practice leaving even just a mouthful at every meal, just to get in the habit of stopping before the plate is empty and considering whether I really want it. In the past, if it wasn't enough to save for another meal, I would always tell myself I should just eat it so it doesn't go to waste, even when I know I'm full. Now I practice telling myself it's okay to stop eating at any time. You can put down your fork with half a bite left on it, it doesn't matter.
One thing I've learned is that this is easier to do if you're being more mindful when you eat (for instance, I just ate my lunch while working at my desk and the bowl was empty before I even noticed it
) 3 -
I grew up that way as well, plus, I was the super skinny kid with the crazy appetite, so it didn't matter - I ate all the things and then some.
Now, that doesn't work so well LOL. If I'm preparing my own meals, I only cook one portion, or if I cook more, I immediately portion it out into bento containers and put them in the freezer in single meal sizes, and only dish up one meal's worth of food.
Piles of veggies help me feel full and like I have a full plate without much in the way of calories.
Eating out, I will sometimes ask for a to-go box to come out with my plate (or have them put half in a box before even bringing it out) and divide the meal right then. That way, I can empty my plate without feeling like I'm "wasting" the food.
I'm getting better about accepting that eating more than I need isn't "wasting" food, anymore than putting it in my stomach is. It's either being turned to fat (which does nothing for me or anyone else) or it's extra. It's a slow process, but I'm getting better and I'm starting to realize that feeling satisfied is all I need - I don't need to feel "full."2 -
Alternately, you can embrace your mindset and eat fewer meals if that's an option.2
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I am never satisfied when I use a smaller plate. So I still use a normal sized plate but FILL it with lower calorie foods. I am eating as much, just different foods, and I feel completely satisfied.0
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In order to feel like I'm not wasting food, I will pack extras up in a container to save for later, even if it's just a couple bites. Sometimes I eat the leftovers when I just need a few bites to tide me over, or I'll add them to another meal, but often they just sit in the fridge for a few days and then I throw them out. For some reason it's much easier for me to throw out old leftovers than it is to throw out new, warm, fresh leftovers. I don't mind the refrigerator real estate that I donate to this effort. Maybe some day I'll be able to scrape fresh food into the trash, but for now I'm just working on stopping when I'm satisfied, and packing up the rest.2
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Eat less for 2 weeks and your mind and stomach will adapt. Stop eating sugar because it screws with your bodies leptin3
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