Childless and TTC

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MrsBlackman
MrsBlackman Posts: 41
in Health and Weight Loss
I was looking for a post about childless women TTC. Most of the posts are either women who already have children or women who have PCOS. I would like to talk to people like me... I have no children, DH and I miscarried our first baby (March '08) and we have now been TTC for over 3 years. The reason I don't want to talk to women TTC that already have children is they cannot fully understand how I feel because at least they have 1 or more children and the reason I don't want to talk to women with PCOS is because they have an explanation as to why they cannot conceive - I don't. If you are in the same boat as me, feel free to add me or reply on here.
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Replies

  • melaniecheeks
    melaniecheeks Posts: 6,349 Member
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    Can you explain what TTC is? I tried google but it comes up with Truck and Trailer Components, Toronto Transit Comission, and Tendring Techology College, and i cant see anything that might be what you're referring to....
  • MrsBlackman
    MrsBlackman Posts: 41
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    LOL! Trying to conceive...
  • jmruef
    jmruef Posts: 824 Member
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    DH and I tried for a couple of years...gave up. It was too heartbreaking, to be honest. There's no specific medical explanation. I think I'm in the "acceptance" stage, more or less - some days more, some days less. I have two great stepsons and we have a really cool dog, and I love our life together, so -

    Dunno if I'm exactly in the same boat.
  • ladygloria
    ladygloria Posts: 279 Member
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    Can you explain what TTC is? I tried google but it comes up with Truck and Trailer Components, Toronto Transit Comission, and Tendring Techology College, and i cant see anything that might be what you're referring to....

    Trying to conceive.

    To the op, I hope you find someone. I'd talk, but thanks to infertility treatments and the PCOS I have one child now. I am going for the second one and struggling. If you don't find the type of person you're looking for, I will be glad to support you. It took over 5 years the first time and while I may not know your circumstances, we have similar struggles. Good luck!
  • watergirl626
    watergirl626 Posts: 249 Member
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    Sent you a PM.
  • inktink
    inktink Posts: 135 Member
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    Me and my husband were TTC for about a year and a half. I had lost a pregnancy when I was 17, so when we lost 2 in a matter of 6 months we decided to wait a little while to try again.

    Now I'm not sure at all when I will be ready, or if I will be. With the last baby we saw the heartbeat, I still keep the ultrasounds by my bed. I just can't imagine going through it again.

    I'm not completely in the same boat as you though, I have two step sons. I treat them like they are my own and I do love them with all that I have, but I still feel like they're not mine.. like there is still a hole in my life that I'm not sure if I will ever have the courage to try to fill again.
  • MrsBlackman
    MrsBlackman Posts: 41
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    DH and I tried for a couple of years...gave up. It was too heartbreaking, to be honest. There's no specific medical explanation. I think I'm in the "acceptance" stage, more or less - some days more, some days less. I have two great stepsons and we have a really cool dog, and I love our life together, so -

    Dunno if I'm exactly in the same boat.

    I don't think I could ever get to the acceptance stage - I cannot imagine my life without having babies (plural - LOL). What dog do you have? We have a labrador and a parsons terrier (they are our substitute children) :D
  • MrsBlackman
    MrsBlackman Posts: 41
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    Can you explain what TTC is? I tried google but it comes up with Truck and Trailer Components, Toronto Transit Comission, and Tendring Techology College, and i cant see anything that might be what you're referring to....

    Trying to conceive.

    To the op, I hope you find someone. I'd talk, but thanks to infertility treatments and the PCOS I have one child now. I am going for the second one and struggling. If you don't find the type of person you're looking for, I will be glad to support you. It took over 5 years the first time and while I may not know your circumstances, we have similar struggles. Good luck!

    Thanks for the positive message - am glad fertility treatments worked for you and I hope you conceive again soon!
  • brittbergh
    brittbergh Posts: 130 Member
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    We struggled for years before we moved onto medical help, than surgery for me and a second trimester loss.

    there is this site TCOYF.com ... check it out, lots of support
  • MrsBlackman
    MrsBlackman Posts: 41
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    Me and my husband were TTC for about a year and a half. I had lost a pregnancy when I was 17, so when we lost 2 in a matter of 6 months we decided to wait a little while to try again.

    Now I'm not sure at all when I will be ready, or if I will be. With the last baby we saw the heartbeat, I still keep the ultrasounds by my bed. I just can't imagine going through it again.

    I'm not completely in the same boat as you though, I have two step sons. I treat them like they are my own and I do love them with all that I have, but I still feel like they're not mine.. like there is still a hole in my life that I'm not sure if I will ever have the courage to try to fill again.

    I am so sorry about the 2 babies you miscarried. I hope you get to the point where you feel ready to try again because you clearly want children and we should never give up on our dreams!
  • MrsBlackman
    MrsBlackman Posts: 41
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    We struggled for years before we moved onto medical help, than surgery for me and a second trimester loss.

    there is this site TCOYF.com ... check it out, lots of support

    Thanks...I'll have a look!
  • _Khaleesi_
    _Khaleesi_ Posts: 877 Member
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    ... what is DH?

    I am not TTC, but I am so sorry to hear of your miscarriage. Thoughts are with you guys
  • MrsBlackman
    MrsBlackman Posts: 41
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    ... what is DH?

    I am not TTC, but I am so sorry to hear of your miscarriage. Thoughts are with you guys

    DH - dear husband. Thank you!
  • MaxandHenrysMom
    MaxandHenrysMom Posts: 59 Member
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    I've been where you are now. I went through three failed IVF treatments (and huge debt), until a FET finally worked. A wonderful website - discussion board (I lived on it for three years! -- It seemed these were the ONLY women who understood the sadness I felt) is www.ivfconnections.com - The forums are great and divided up into various issues, including unexplained, and various options from clomid to IVF to deciding to live childfree. There are also forums dedicated to age groups.

    Good luck to you.
  • MrsBlackman
    MrsBlackman Posts: 41
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    I've been where you are now. I went through three failed IVF treatments (and huge debt), until a FET finally worked. A wonderful website - discussion board (I lived on it for three years! -- It seemed these were the ONLY women who understood the sadness I felt) is www.ivfconnections.com - The forums are great and divided up into various issues, including unexplained, and various options from clomid to IVF to deciding to live childfree. There are also forums dedicated to age groups.

    Good luck to you.

    I can't imagine how you must have felt after 3 failed cycles but am glad you finally got there in the end!! You are the second person to recommend that site so I have signed up and will have a good browse through tomorrow! Thank you!
  • watergirl626
    watergirl626 Posts: 249 Member
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    For anyone going through IF, www.ivfconnections.com has a fantastic community on their forums. You don't have to be going through IVF to belong. It is incredible the support you receive. BTW, 1 in 8 couples struggle with infertility, that's an awfully big number, and means that there are others out there who get it.

    BTW, for laughs with a touch of sarcasm, http://www.999reasonstolaugh.com/ is a great read.

    Sorry for everyone out there struggling with IF and with losses. It just plain sucks.
  • pattyproulx
    pattyproulx Posts: 603 Member
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    I was looking for a post about childless women TTC. Most of the posts are either women who already have children or women who have PCOS. I would like to talk to people like me... I have no children, DH and I miscarried our first baby (March '08) and we have now been TTC for over 3 years. The reason I don't want to talk to women TTC that already have children is they cannot fully understand how I feel because at least they have 1 or more children and the reason I don't want to talk to women with PCOS is because they have an explanation as to why they cannot conceive - I don't. If you are in the same boat as me, feel free to add me or reply on here.

    I'm obviously not a woman and take it for what it's worth since there are obviously no studies proving any of this, but being fairly active in the Paleo community, I've heard of many people having issues conceiving and being able to conceive shortly after going Paleo (usually within a few months)
  • ce_girl
    ce_girl Posts: 1
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    We have been TTC for 4 years, 2 IUI, 1 IVF and out of money. We are currently saving money for adoption.
    The one thing that has saved me is my twitter support group. Follow me "barrenkarren" to find others. I haven't twitted in a little while, but look at my followers and ones I follow for others in the same boat. Try #TCC, #IVF, etc. I hope this helps.
  • jmruef
    jmruef Posts: 824 Member
    Options
    DH and I tried for a couple of years...gave up. It was too heartbreaking, to be honest. There's no specific medical explanation. I think I'm in the "acceptance" stage, more or less - some days more, some days less. I have two great stepsons and we have a really cool dog, and I love our life together, so -

    Dunno if I'm exactly in the same boat.

    I don't think I could ever get to the acceptance stage - I cannot imagine my life without having babies (plural - LOL). What dog do you have? We have a labrador and a parsons terrier (they are our substitute children) :D

    I didn't think I could imagine my life without them either, but that's not the life I got, you know? :wink: And I have 4 nephews and a niece as well as the kids/grandkids of coworkers that I get to fawn over.

    We have a greyhound. His name is Earl. I've got a couple pics posted of him on my profile.
  • MrsBlackman
    MrsBlackman Posts: 41
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    We have been TTC for 4 years, 2 IUI, 1 IVF and out of money. We are currently saving money for adoption.
    The one thing that has saved me is my twitter support group. Follow me "barrenkarren" to find others. I haven't twitted in a little while, but look at my followers and ones I follow for others in the same boat. Try #TCC, #IVF, etc. I hope this helps.

    I hope your adoption (when you start it) runs smoothly! I'm not on twitter but thank you anyway!

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