Really struggling at the moment...(well, have been for ages)

KF2018 · March 2018

Hi everyone

I reverted back to MFP last week as I was getting really fed up of doing WeightWatchers, I was so motivated but again I'm in that circle where I'm good for a few days then fall off the wagon and I can't quite break that cycle.

On a positive note I am 5lb's lighter since the beginning of January and I've been doing gym classes everyday (exept weekends) but I've been doing two gym classes most days which I am enjoying.

Its just this feeling of good then bad, good then bad that I can't shake off. I even tried changing my weigh in day....I used to weigh in on a Saturday morning so if I did go over my calories at the weekend then I'd have all week to make up for it but that didn't work as I prefer to have calories saved up for my treats at the weekend.

Its clearly just my mindset but I don't know how to get out of it and when I am bad I spend the rest of the day beating myself up over it....

Any tips/advice on how can get over this?

Thanks

kommodevaran · March 2018

Yes, it's your mindset, and it will take a lot of hard work to change it. That work isn't going to be painful or stressful, though, not anywhere like what you're currently struggling with. But very different, maybe even a bit scary: You have to let go if the good - bad dichotomy.

Do you use your food diary? Prelog your whole day and aim to hit your calorie goal. You're supposed to hit, not go under, and you can eat whatever you want. This exercise will force you to consider both aspects (taste and nutrition) at once, and learn to prioritize.

For exercise to be effective, you need sufficient rest. Do you have designated rest days? If not, force yourself to implement at least one per week.

You also need to shake weightloss as your prize. If you just let weight management be a nice side effect of living a healthy and happy life, everything will be easier.

I suggest you start weighing yourself every day (but just once, and in the morning). This allows you to familiarize yourself with the normal ups and downs, and desensitize yourself to the scale. Your weight is just a number and doesn't define you. Less anxiety makes it - paradoxically - easier to be accountable to your food and exercise plan on the daily. And it's the day by day by day steady work that pays off, not bouts of suffering followed by loss of control, both causing distress.

Forget about "motivation", don't be "good", you're not "bad", either. Create and develop good habits instead. There is no wagon.

KF2018 · March 2018

Thanks for your response. It was very insightful.

It's awful to be in this vicious cycle all the time. I feel like everyday I "restart" my MFP and then even if I go over a little bit on my calories, I beat myself up and then just think "sod it" I'll start again tomorrow.

Its this mindset that is stopping me from losing the weight I want to lose which is about 14lb to 20lb's.

I feel like I'm so good with the exercise side of it and I'm not a binge eater or a massive portion eater or anything, even if I go over my calories by eating the good stuff, I still beat myself up over it.

I go to the gym on my lunch, I do back to back gym classes most days, I really enjoy working out, it makes me feel good but sometimes even if I can't for some reason get to the gym one day, I really beat myself up over it and then I start to over think it to the point where I become miserable.

Not sure how to snap myself out of it!

88olds · March 2018

Agree with kommodevaran, as per usual.

And this- try to ditch being good or bad. Bad people steal money meant to feed the poor or swindle old folks out of their savings. It has nothing to do with weight loss. Try to think in terms of effective or in effective plans. Or how well you focused on your goals. Or whether a particular behavior is helpful to your efforts.

Saying you are bad if you go over your number for the day ups the ante in an unhelpful way. Give yourself a break.

RadishEater · March 2018

Part of weight loss is accepting the good days with the bad days. You have to learn to be okay with missing a gym class, going over in calories, sneaking in snacks. The key is being able to push through these bad parts, realize they happen but still have the determination to do better tomorrow. Humans aren't robots, we can't have 100% will power all the time, but using our will power most of the time will form habits and make our progress easier.

That being said, I have been on here for nearly a year and still struggle with those very things, but it has gotten easier to forgive myself and try to do better.

funnybun1 · March 2018

Hi! I completely get how you feel.

The whole good/bad and associated guilt is a hard thing to give up for sure. Especially when we have to retrain ourselves to think another way. We are so hard on ourselves that we often forget to celebrate our success.

1houndgal · March 2018

KF2018 wrote: »

Hi everyone

I reverted back to MFP last week as I was getting really fed up of doing WeightWatchers, I was so motivated but again I'm in that circle where I'm good for a few days then fall off the wagon and I can't quite break that cycle.

On a positive note I am 5lb's lighter since the beginning of January and I've been doing gym classes everyday (exept weekends) but I've been doing two gym classes most days which I am enjoying.

Its just this feeling of good then bad, good then bad that I can't shake off. I even tried changing my weigh in day....I used to weigh in on a Saturday morning so if I did go over my calories at the weekend then I'd have all week to make up for it but that didn't work as I prefer to have calories saved up for my treats at the weekend.

Its clearly just my mindset but I don't know how to get out of it and when I am bad I spend the rest of the day beating myself up over it....

Any tips/advice on how can get over this?

Thanks

First step, be kind to yourself. Don't beat yourself up because you did not meet your goals at hand. When you kick yourself when you are down, you just knock yourself further down.

You need to stop and breathe. Now take stock: What positive things have you done for yourself?

1) you came back to mfp after noticing the latest ww program did not work for you. I can assure you that you have a lot of good company here that also dropped WW.

2) You have lost 5 lbs since January. Nothing to shake a stick at there. It is a safe rate of wt weight loss.

3. You have been taking gym classes. That is awesome. Putting yourself out there is a good thing. Making friends, learning new gym skills, and working out.

Ok. I just counted three reasons to stop beating yourself down. You are making progress, keep reminding yourself that.

faithphelps03 · March 2018

I have lost around 44 lbs since late October, but its difficult for me to find healthy ways of eating. I turned vegetarian not to long ago which has helped a lot, but i'm not getting enough protein and I don't know the foods I should be eating to get this protein, and I've also realized no matter how much weight I lose I obsess over the scale and don't know how to change that habit.

kommodevaran · March 2018

faithphelps03 wrote: »

I have lost around 44 lbs since late October, but its difficult for me to find healthy ways of eating. I turned vegetarian not to long ago which has helped a lot, but i'm not getting enough protein and I don't know the foods I should be eating to get this protein,

A healthy diet is balanced and varied. You can eat healthily and unhealthily as a vegetarian, and as an omnivore.
Vegetarians get their protein through beans and grains, eggs and dairy. Some people obses unnecessarily over their protein intake. How much are you getting? What's your calorie target?

and I've also realized no matter how much weight I lose I obsess over the scale and don't know how to change that habit.

Have you set proper weekly weightloss goals? As in, no more than 1% of your bodyweight? Are you exceeding this? What is your goal weight? How tall are you?

Really struggling at the moment...(well, have been for ages)

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