Anyone have trouble with friends/family trying to discourage healthy eating habits?

MeloKate wrote: »

I have some family/friends who are not in the best shape and they seem to take my progress personal. Sometimes I feel pressured to stray from my goals and eat the food they make/ serve because they put pressure on me to do so. Anyone else have any advice or is going through a similar struggle?

NO! Don't ever allow anyone else to change your mind or take you off of your path. Get rid of the guilt. That will get you no where.

As already stated, be polite, firm, and consistent. Eventually they'll get the hint or you'll have to decide if they are the type of people you need in your life.

I do understand, some people take it extremely personally if you politely decline the food/drinks they offer you, it's hard to walk the line between coming across as a gracious guest while still making the best decisions for your body, especially in the south. I've honestly resorted to white lies, "Thank you so much, it looks wonderful but I'm actually still stuffed from earlier" seems to go over much better than any kind of mention of a diet.

Or you could just have a little bit. I mean, how often does it happen? Once a week? Ten times a day? That would make a difference to me.

If my mother was still alive and offered me *anything* at all that she cooked, I would have some.

If my coworker is just being a jerk - "No thanks" is all I need. No explanations necessary.

YMMV

cmriverside wrote: »

Or you could just have a little bit. I mean, how often does it happen? Once a week? Ten times a day? That would make a difference to me.

If my mother was still alive and offered me *anything* at all that she cooked, I would have some.

If my coworker is just being a jerk - "No thanks" is all I need. No explanations necessary.

YMMV

I definitely agree with this.

MeloKate, I am not sure how long you've been doing this (eating healthier, weight loss, fitness, what have you) but one thing I've noticed is that the reactions of friends/family tend to go in waves and they slow or stop after some time. At least in my experience that's been the case.

Over a long period (several years) I lost over 130 lb. Many friends/family seemed to take it as a personal affront to their food choices or exercise habits, even though I didn't talk a lot about it or push things on them. They would express shock, or tell me I was getting "too skinny" (at size 10/12 even now, I'm definitely not skinny!) They were really focused on it.

Eventually they got used to Average Me instead of Fat Me. They stopped paying so much attention to what I ate or didn't eat. It also helps that I tend to be a weirdo at parties who will eat two tiny toothpicked meatballs, carrots, celery & a big piece of cake so people just see me eating that cake and think "oh she isn't eating healthy" and don't feel threatened.

I will bring a healthy dish to pass, so I have one option at every chance

Yes! I totally feel you! I have some friends who can seemingly eat whatever they want without worry. They tend not to care (or notice if I don't join in), which is much easier than family gatherings. It feels as I've gotten older (especially now with lots of babies and children in the family), there are a million holidays, birthdays and reunions to attend which makes "once in a while," more like a couple of times a month, which catches up no matter how many hours I try to log in the gym or on the healthy eating plan. It's hard.

Bringing something healthy that you can eat is a great option (like jaycanchu wrote).

One of my tricks (if you can't avoid eating someone's food and are either paranoid or know for a fact it is not good for you: use a salad plate, only make one dish, and try chewing each bite 24-30 times. Also put down your fork and take a sip of water every few bites. It slows you down so that you can make it through looooong dinners (Passover/Easter (I have both ~.~ and everyone wants to host)), so you can eat with the family/friends and not sabotage yourself.

Best of Luck!!!

I usually will bring a healthy dish to pass if I'm going to a thing with my friends. For family luckily my future MIL is very obsessed over me and my FI losing weight so when we go over there there's usually a rather large salad to go with whatever she made. My side of the family I don't see that often so I will either just eat small portions of whatever they made or I'll just chalk it up to a cheat day. My family only gets together 3-4 times a year and is getting smaller and smaller so I don't want to be a pest when I don't know how many family get together I have left to attend.
You just gotta do what's best for you and your situation

kommodevaran wrote: »

laurenpiskiel wrote: »

I have some friends who can seemingly eat whatever they want without worry.

What if that is an acute observation and not just something you imagine?

One of my tricks (if you can't avoid eating someone's food and are either paranoid or know for a fact it is not good for you: use a salad plate, only make one dish, and try chewing each bite 24-30 times. Also put down your fork and take a sip of water every few bites. It slows you down so that you can make it through looooong dinners (Passover/Easter (I have both ~.~ and everyone wants to host)), so you can eat with the family/friends and not sabotage yourself.

What if this mindset and these routines is why you feel the need to sabotage yourself?

???

I'm not sure I understand ... If she is deliberately finding ways to circumvent life-long bad habits (eating whatever she wants without worrying) how is finding new routines and better eating habits sabotaging herself????