Feeling defeated

If you know what to do, then you need to do it. Being Mom is super hard and having to take care of yourself is often put on the backburner. Just know that you've got to do this for yourself and your health, but that you want to do it for your family too. Don't you want to show your child good eating habits? Good exercise habits? And a family that is active together?
Going back to work might make it easier b/c you can meal prep before the week and know exactly what you'll eat every day as opposed to going out or walking over to the pantry to snack.
You got this, just plan ahead, LOG everything that goes in your mouth and get active! Even if it's just taking the baby on walks in the neighborhood.

The fact is, most likely people will notice. They may or may not tell you they notice, but they will notice. Try to understand that you have no control over what they notice or think about you and stop stressing about it. Put that energy into creating new habits that will get you on the path to a healthier you. Find your WHY and then just do it.

Control the process starting now.

What if this, what if you don’t really know what to do? There’s nothing wrong with not knowing. Nobody knows until they do. Folks who say they know what to do usually mean they want to force themselves to exercise or impose a food austerity program.

Try this. Start a MFP food diary. Computer too cumbersome? Use pen and paper. Just start listing what you eat. When you’re ready, start filling in the calories. Forget? Go back and do the best you can to catch up. No idea how many calories in something? Make a good faith estimate.

But do this- no matter what, good, bad or ugly, everything gets recorded. Never abandon your food diary. Especially on days that don’t go so well.

When you’re ready calculat a modest calorie deficit and aim for that. Use a food scale, study NI for restaurants, use the MFP database. You will soon find that to hit your number you need some kind of plan. If your plan doesn’t work out, make a better plan. Try to find a downward trend you can live with. Weight loss is about living with some reasonable limits. A plan you can’t live with is not a good plan.

Give yourself a break. You can’t transform yourself overnight. There’s a fairly long calorie counting learning curve. Weight loss takes sustained effort. But the changes need not be radical if you are patient. You cannot transform yourself today, but you can start work on this right now. It’s an opportunity.

You know what helps relieve stress? Taking proper care of yourself. That doesn't make you selfish or less devoted to your other obligations (read: being a mom), it makes you better able to meet them and to be your best self for all the people in your life for a much longer period of time. When you feel better mentally for YOU, everyone else around you benefits as well.

Now, how to actually have the time to do it? Build some daily activity into spending time with your son. When you go back to work make sure to get up every hour and walk around for a few minutes. Take the stairs, walk to run errands if they're close, etc. Small changes. No need to jump headlong into some big fitness regime (unless you really want to) - you can always incorporate more later as these changes feel natural.

As far as your food, I've kinda found a groove with my staple foods - they're cheap, nutritious, and very importantly fast to prep (I can make breakfast, lunch, and dinner to take with me for a day in under 15 minutes). Obviously you might like to eat different things, but here are my staples and what I use them for - maybe it will give you some ideas to incorporate.

Best of luck! Don't look at it as losing weight, because you don't NEED to do that to be a success, and you're not a failure because of your weight. Try to focus on being healthy for your family and teaching your kid(s) good habits, and feeling good about yourself!

• Frozen Veg: Usually spinach, mixed veg, peas, etc. These are easy to microwave and use as a bed for guacamole, eggs, meats, and whatever else. They don't go bad, they're cheap, and often more nutritious than their fresh counterparts since they're frozen at peak freshness.
• Sprouts or pea shoots: I get these fresh to add some crunch and goodness to salads or above frozen veg bowls, etc.
• Eggs: Super great. Fry them, stick them on top of anything, and you've got a lot of healthy fats and protein.
• Coconut oil: I like this for cooking things - pretty cheap if you order online in large containers, and I'm lactose intolerant so I don't use much butter and the like.
• Fruits (easy on the go - bananas, apples, oranges, etc)
• Guacamole: Use it to top everything. I get tubs of it. By the time you make fresh yourself, it costs just as much.
• Salad Greens: The pre-mixed, pre-washed versions.
• Sweet potatoes: Wash them, stick them with a fork several times, and then microwave for 3-5 minutes. Bam. Healthy starch packed with vitamins that you can top with whatever.
• Nuts: Great on-the-go snacks
• Whey Protein: I lift and I'm trying to cut. Hence, I like to have something that packs in the protein with fewer calories. This is also a very cheap protein source. I don't usually do it in smoothies, though - I put it in oats or a chocolate-y nut butter cereal concoction.
• Nut butters: Add to oats, eat with fruit, have a spoonful. You know. I like the natural kind without the sugar and hydrogenated oils.
• Cocoa powder: Unsweetened - add this to protein, nut butters, oats, yogurt, whatever to satisfy a chocolate craving.
• Oats: To me there's nothing better than this in the morning, with whatever toppings. You can also do "overnight oats" sort of things so you just take it out of the fridge in the morning and it's ready.
• Ground meats: Cook them up in a pan with a bunch of spices, garlic, ginger, whatever over the weekend, use it to top things all week! Even this "meal prep" step takes <30 minutes on the weekend.
• Popcorn: I have an air popper. I eat this as a snack very often.

So basically I eat vegetables or potatoes topped with rotating proteins and guacamole, chocolate-y protein filled oats, fruits and nuts for snacks. Sometimes I mix it up with rice and beans, or make an ice cream out of frozen fruits and non-dairy milks/nut butters, but most of the time it's very simple and saves a ton of time.

Love the suggestions above. Get things from the store that are easy to put together for lunch and dinner, but good for you. Face it, if you sit down and eat an entire bowl of vegetables, you are still going to consume less calories than one candy bar